Lovers and past lives

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Adriana0718, Feb 25, 2018.

  1. Adriana0718

    Adriana0718 New Member

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    Hi Everyone. I'm looking for a little perspective in this situation so I'll try to make it as short as possible. I met someone online and we have developed feelings of love for each other. It has been overwhelming. The biggest problem is that he's married, 13 years younger and has 5 children. I broke up with him few weeks ago. Despite the overwhelming feelings, the fact that he has a soul contract with someone else has always bothered me from the beginning. The times he would disappear or be short with me were upsetting so I decided to move on. We met in a online game community, he's in Chicago, I'm in Maryland and we never met in person. This separation has been a lot more painful than I had thought it would be. In my meditations ive been trying to understand why it hurts so much and I'm always feeling a very intense past life energy between us that might have involved tragedy of some sort. I can't quite pinpoint.

    In any case, I'm a smart person, with a good understanding of all the psychological elements of relationships but I'm stuck on this one. I never felt this way before and I'm just afraid there may be an unconscious mechanism trying to relieve this pain by justifying it somehow.

    What are y'alls thoughts on this? Thank you.
     
  2. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi Adriana, do you think this relationship had anything to do with reincarnation? I'm of little help in matters of on-line romance so I can not help in that area, but I do think that anyone involved in a relationship that requires secrecy, even though exciting, should be avoided. Not because I'm a prude, but rather that there is a greater chance of harm than good as a result so I think you did the right thing.

    It seems that you have found some quality that binds you, perhaps that is something to explore.
     
  3. Adriana0718

    Adriana0718 New Member

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    I agree with you and I shouldn't have started in the first place, that's why I ended. I understand common sense should always govern our actions, but I'm wondering if even when the circumstances aren't right, old affections meet to touch one another, heal old wounds or even settle pre-existing conflicts. Does that make sense?
     
  4. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Senior Registered

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    I think we all often follow through on old feelings that aren't relevant to the present, whether past life or even habits that originated amid early life stress/trauma. The solution, of course, is to know yourself well enough that you can see the difference between "what you really want" and "what is presently influencing you."

    For example, the desire for love is pretty common. What we really want is to have an honest, vulnerable, mutual, respectful, accepting, and supportive love that doesn't involve cheating or harming anyone. When you know that you're not randomly after "just anything that looks a bit like love" then you can go down the list of real needs to ensure that each relationship you've found will play a role in the kind of life you want to live.

    In the same way people often react to the pain of someone bumping into old wounds as if they are actually part of the original wound. Sometimes meeting someone feels like a chance to resolve old pain. "I couldn't make my dad apologize for abandoning me, so instead I'll make this man who reminds me of him take care of me the way I wanted as a child." When you know your wounds, it's easy to identify when someone is directly connected to that wound or just incidentally triggering you to react in the context of that wound.

    It helps to be as specific as you can as you gain experience with understanding yourself. And the way you learn to be specific is to observe how you react to various events and traits in the people you meet, then ask yourself why that particular reaction came out of you. Why did this form of love feel like enough? What did I think I was getting? What did I actually receive? In an ideal world, what do I really want? Is this person the one who can actually meet that need, or is that just wishful thinking? What is real based on actual experience? And so on.

    I've been through this process many, many times. It's also useful in areas where you easily get angry or controlling, or when you always give in to others, or any other habit that tends to sabotage your life in ways you wouldn't normally expect of yourself. There's always another layer.

    The benefit is that once you understand yourself, you not only know what you're really after, you also often see the contrast between genuine opportunities and false trails more clearly. It also helps you communicate more honestly in relationships, which helps strengthen friendship and prevent misunderstandings. I highly recommend the practice. :)
     
  5. Adriana0718

    Adriana0718 New Member

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    Understanding ourselves and what we want is so important. This was very helpful, thank you so much for taking the time to write it.
     
  6. Valeria P.

    Valeria P. New Member

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    I need some help on a matter connected with one of my past lives. I have discovered I was the wife of a very famous singer who died in the 1950’s. Since the day I actually realized this connection, the spirit of my past husband comes to visit me every morning, around 4am. I can feel his touch, and, at times, his voice.
    Searching about the life of his wife, I discovered so many ‘connections’ with my life, even her date of birth, which unknowingly I have been using it as the code for my phone. He died where I was born. She never recovered from his death, and died 5 months later, back in the US. I was born 7 years later.....
     
  7. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Valeria,

    The question I would ask is this: If this is truly who you think it is, is he incarnate or is he still in the disembodied state? If the former, it could be he has been searching for you and seeks to be reunited with you in this life. If the latter, that will probably be an impossibility in any sort of romantic sense because of age differences, though he might want to seek a birth that would bring him close to you as a relative or friend. Are either of these options something you would also seek?

    However, you also must consider the possibility that this is an imposter. False spirits and legends of false spirits are as old as humankind. Whatever the case, you may wish to seek outside expertise to facilitate your understanding of what is going on. You need to determine whether you need to seek a deeper level of communication or expel an intruding and unwelcome interloper.

    I would also suggest you read some of Dr. Brian Weiss' books. They can give you more insight into what is possible.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
  8. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Do you talk back? If not, I would advise you to do so next time he is around. S&S made good remarks and to find out you should just ask. You can ask this spirit to leave you in peace and delay further communications through dreams or otherwise. I experienced this as well and in the end, it turned out to be someone alive, who was searching for me. Years of weird experiences stopped after getting to know this person.
    You should never open yourself up to unknown entities.
     
  9. Cat1965

    Cat1965 Senior Registered

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    where can i post about a dream?
     
  10. Valeria P.

    Valeria P. New Member

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    Hi!
    I read a couple of Weiss’ books.
    All I can say is that since I have realized this connection, he comes to me every day, every night, and I simply know is him, my past husband. I did what here in Italy is called ‘automatic writing’ to ask him to give proof of his identidy. And he did.
    And my love for him has been flooding back like a storm....
     

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