landsend, you have a very valuable testimony there, and it's fascinating to read. I'm interested in the way you see it and describe what's in your vision. It's similar to my own way of seeing. But everything I have hasn't come from regression or meditation or similar. It's something that's just been there for a long time. I can choose to access it at any time. Inevitably, as I have no outside sources as yet to refer to, my memory is patchy. What I'd like to know is how you go about your meditation where you find so much. What's the method? I'd very much like to try it, in the hope of recapturing more that might answer so many questions I have. You've discovered so much. I feel your chances of finding what you want seem quite high. I really hope so. I also identify with the bullying at school. I was 'different' and nobody likes that. I was called 'the dreamer' - both by my schoolmates and their parents. For the exact same reason as you, I never responded to the bullying, some of which was physical. I too felt I was being punished for something I'd done, and deserved whatever I got. Interestingly I met the bullies I'd disliked so much for years - we met as adults, and I still felt the same intense dislike, even though the bully had turned into an extremely good and kind person, and was pleasant to me!