Missing my Past Life so much I am depressed

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by BlossomFinleyKensington, Dec 2, 2019 at 3:21 PM.

  1. BlossomFinleyKensington

    BlossomFinleyKensington New Member

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    I believe I had a past life in the late Georgian to the Early Victorian Era. I have always loved the era and felt connected to it. I love the fashion, the music, my morals of courtship and manners are far more in tune with that era.
    I remember going to a ball in the Regency Era, I remember meeting a man there and dancing with him. I remember marrying him and spending many happy years with him. I have memories of him all my life, even asking for him. Dreaming of him. I miss him so much and the life we had.
    I never never felt in anyway connected to this age. I often go to the countryside, to old fashioned villages and stately homes and it makes me feel a little bit better for a while. I feel connected and home.
    I have always felt that wanting to go home feeling, I never have felt truly happy. I always feel out of place. And I miss my husband from my past life so much. He was my soulmate, we were so happy, best friends. Loved each other more and more each day. I remember so many of the times we spent together. I remember our first meeting, our courtship. That he asked me to marry him during a picnic in a beautiful meadow. I remember the wedding, moving into his house. Evenings spent playing card games, sat by the fire snuggled and reading together. I remember having our children. He would play the piano and during our curtship and whole life, he would write pieces for me. I remember his death which is painful for me to remember. I laid with him as he passed away and held on to him hours after he had gone. I do not remember the funeral, I have a strong feeling I did not pass long after him. That we just could not live without each other.
    I have always struggled to fit in, I get pleasure from doing the activities that would have been present at the time, dressmaking, reading, card games and lawn games. I like candlelight more than electric and like things like writing with quills, letters.
    I am very lonely. People seem to be repelled by my interests and way I live. I have never dated, my ideas of courtship are more suited to the 19th century. And I feel I cannot connect with anyone, I still feel so deeply in love with my husband. It is like I only want him. I remember in a personal development lesson at school, we had to write a list of qualities in an ideal partner. My teacher said that my list seemed to only relate to one person, that it was describing an indivdual, not a few desirable common traits or behaviours.
    My List was things like a English country dancer, kind heartered, romantic, loves the countryside, musician/composer. Brave, likes to read, my best friend. Always gets rid of the spider. I even wrote how I remember him to look, the suits he wore. His curly light brown hair, his blue eyes. That he was a head taller than me. It was my teacher saying that, that made me realise that he is what I want. I hate that I have come back, and the more time passes, the more I feel he hasn't. I wish we both truly passed on together
    I dream about him a lot, and I wake up crying because I miss him, if I think about him before sleeping I cry myself to sleep.
    I feel a bit happier, more at home when reading well written and well produced films and books set in the era, but as soon as they are over I cry, I cry because I am back to this world. If there was anyway for me to go back to that time I would in a heartbeat. I know I would be happier then. I had the love that most of us dream of, a beautiful grand house, beautiful children. I was happy. And in this life, I have no friends, my family don't understand my emotions, I lie about what I cry about. I feel I am stuck and will never be happy. I never have felt true happiness, where I wake up happy and go to sleep happy. It's always sadness.
    As a child even a young child when we were told to draw dresses, I would make mine in the style of the regency and the men would wear the suits. Cities like Bath make me feel at home, while I feel like an out of place ghost in modern parts of cities. The more and more the techonology progresses the more and more I want to go home. As I said previously, I have this feeling of wanting to go home. As a child I would often say despite being 'home' I want to go home. My parents would try and say I was home. But I 'd cry and say I want to go home. I recently found a Welsh word: hiraeth- to miss something or somewhere of the past that you cannot return to.
    I just miss my husband, our life and the era so much. It makes me so sad to be here. I often get the 'you have it better now, the medicine etc' but in all honesty, I would rather live less years but be happy, than live 80+ being miserable.
    I hope and pray he has been reincarnated too, or that this is my last reincarnation so I can be with him truly again. I don't know how much longer I can keep living like this
     
    Sarah Jane likes this.
  2. Eva1942

    Eva1942 A Walking Enigma..

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    Have you seen the BBC clip about the gentleman who ditched his ‘modern’ clothing and wears nothing but Victorian era style clothing? He makes Victorian-era clothing too.. I’ll have to try and find the clip.

    It sounds like you long for your soulmate. I personally call them a twin flame, but everyone is different. My WWII lifetime was much like how you describe, I had him and everything I desired. I am a great believer of the fact we are together in lifetimes as a result of us having a ‘final incarnation’ together, but our freewill influences that. WWII was supposed to be our (my twin flame and I) last incarnation, but I didn’t achieve everything I wanted to, so I came back.

    Are you sad to be here because he’s not with you physically? Spiritually, twin flames/soulmates are ALWAYS together and all you need to do is look to your heart to find him and he will be there :)

    Eva x
     
  3. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Hi,

    It is so easy to get stuck, I have been stuck too, when I get too close to my memories.

    Have you tried meditation, and asking your spirit guide for guidance regarding him ? maybe this will help you. to me all of that sounded very surreal, but it if it works it will give you comfort. It has worked for me now one time. And I feel better.
    He might already be with you, for me I think my papa from the 1920s is my husband this time around. Weird, but it is nothing I think about, perhaps not realizing it for such a long time had its reason.

    /Jaimie
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2019 at 9:21 AM
  4. BellonaStrandt

    BellonaStrandt Armageddon

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    When I first started receiving my past life memories, I felt the same as you. I missed Europe a lot. I say ‘Europe’ instead of just ‘Germany’ because I travelled a lot in the continent. Yes, I was German.

    My younger self can definitely relate to preferring the past life era more and being more comfortable about it instead of the current one. However, now, I am quite alright with this era. I mean, there are memes and the Internet so I can cope pretty well now.

    Regarding your past life husband, I want you to know that you’ll meet again, one day. It may not be in this life but really, you’ll meet again. I miss my past life wife too because to me, she was perfect. She was attractive and intelligent. Her attitude was also for me. Now, I cannot find a lover because while there are people coming for me, I do not like them. None of them can match to my wife. Do you feel the same?

    I long for my wife but at the same time, if she’s discarnate, I respect that. All I want is for her to be happy and well, even without me.

    We come from different eras but I must say that I can relate.
     
  5. Stewardess Ester Ősz

    Stewardess Ester Ősz Senior Member

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    Even though I have not many concreate PL memories (as I have written in this forum several times) I can also relate to this topic. I also miss things, feelings, atmospheres from my PL. Acctually I almost longed myself sick for many, many years. And also to me, this very specific longing for a certain person - some kind of a soulmate or very close friend, my counterpart who will give my life a purpous, an explaination, make everyting clear.

    But for many years this person didnt show up in my life, and I slowly got used to the life without him. I learned to be enough by myself. Then I met my now husband, fell in love, had our turnouts, married, got children, all the stuff...

    And then I met that person I was allways thinking of from my PL. And it all happened so quietly I didnt even notice the first and second time. I allways thought that meeting was going to be so erotic, so hot, so sexy one can just imagine. But no, it was not that way at all. So, notting is going to happen to my life or my family. Everything is perfect as it is. This life we were just not meant to live together. Now our task is different. Its just this silent recognition between us when I sometimes meet him. And there are no inapropriate feelings at all, from any of us.

    So, I want you all to see and belive: there is a certain purpous of the life you live now. And when you are not along with your soulmate now, you are probably not meant to either. And your time will maybe come again, later.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2019 at 1:59 PM
  6. yvettebruneau

    yvettebruneau Senior Member

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    It sounds as though a lot of us are in the same boat. I believe the last time I was in the physical company of my soulmate/twin-flame was back during WWII, and I have not been united with "him" (as the last known incarnation was male) in this life. As such, I also struggle with feelings of loneliness and depression, a longing to be reunited with them, if only I could find them.

    I do believe that there will come a day, when we are reunited. I just have to wait for it. Whether it comes in this life or the next, or even in the 'afterlife' when both our souls can rest, I cannot say. No-one can say. But, you must hold on to the belief that you will see them again. You must believe that you are not alone in this world, not as alone as you seem/feel at times. They are there, in some form. It just gets a little difficult to 'see' them, at times.

    Also, when I get those moments of feeling alone/down, I play songs that I've connected with my twin-flame/soulmate. Songs that make me feel a connection with someone that isn't present, or songs from our 'times' together. For me, they bolster that connection. They can even be modern ones that, shall we say, touch a nerve. Or, songs that have come since our last connection, which almost feel like they were written for us. They weren't, obviously, but every couple has 'those songs'. *edit* As I read through this, for mistakes and such, I'm listening to Crazy Circles by Bad Company, and really listening to the lyrics for the first time... quite appropriate for the topic.

    I hope you can find the answers to help you in finding some sort of peace.
     
    Stewardess Ester Ősz likes this.
  7. Hechicera

    Hechicera New Member

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    I strongly believe that I each life, our soul decides what it wants to learn about this life, which lesson will it learn, of course we forget all of that in order to live the full experience. Maybe this life is about emotional detachment, or self growing?
    Who knows? Maybe you’re supposed to meet him/her again in this life, but before that you have a lesson to learn?
    There is a film that I like a lot, maybe you have already seen it “cloud atlas”
     

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