My Baby Gone

Discussion in 'Children's Past Lives -Age 7 & under' started by HeyJude, Dec 27, 2016.

  1. HeyJude

    HeyJude New Member

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    I'm new to this forum and not even sure if this is the correct place to be but just want to write of my experience this morning. I have two little boys aged 2 (26 months) and 6 months. My toddler can be a serious little soul at times but he is our little ray of sunshine. He's previously said things that have spooked me in the past, one being that he kept telling me to make the black bunny go away. He had a large wooden activity cube in his bedroom with wires and beads etc on it. For a week or so a few months back he would be scared at night when looking at it and cower down and say "bunny go away". I asked him what bunny and he'd point to the cube and say "black bunny....hiding". We ended up moving the cube elsewhere and nothing else came of it. Anyway this morning he was sat on the floor in front of me playing lovely with his Thomas the Tank train set which he had for Christmas when all of a sudden he stopped and looked really sad (he has a proper pout which comes just before he cries). I asked him what was wrong and he said "gone". I asked him what's gone and he replied "my baby gone". His baby brother was sat between my legs playing so I said no, your baby brother is here. He got really up set and said "MY baby gone". I tried to comfort him and said oh no, where's your baby gone, maybe we can find it to which he replied "gone to the clouds". Both me and his father looked at each other and we both were unsure what to say. He's never experienced a loss so we've never spoken to him about anything like heaven and angels up in the clouds, and the only TV he watches or is interested in is the Twirliwoos, Mr Tumble or In the Night Garden (we're from the UK). He then pouted to the point I thought he was about to burst into tears but rapidly came out of it seconds later to continue playing with his trains. He's only just started to put sentences together of 5-6 words. How do you think I should respond if he says anything like that again?
     
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  2. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing Registered

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    HeyJude,
    You are here on this forum, so I guess you consider reincarnation... ;)
    When this happened to me the first time, I was very suprised. because of his young age (around three years old he was), but later I learned this is the typical age for children to speak about former lives, just before regular school starts.
    I was not prepared, but with my knowledge about psychology in general I decided to let him speak, over and over again. He always told the exact same story, most of the time in shock and fear. I didn't hug him, because I wanted him to get rid of these emotions, and was affraid that when I comforted him, he would not free himself of it. After some time I asked questions, sometimes I got answers, sometimes it was impossible for him to tell me things. Like his name, he could only produce one vowel, nothing more.
    As time passed by (years) he told me it was like a dream, or a story he made up for me, and finally forgot about it, couldn't remember it anymore, untill he denied he ever told me those stories.
    My advise would be: just let him talk without judgement, and if possible ask him short easy questions for your personal understanding of his story.
    This is how I did it, and it went well, no damage to the child in the end.
     
  3. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing Registered

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    If I were in your shoes, I would ask short questions like: are you alone, are you the mummy (if yes: where is daddy), are you hurt, short questions like that.
    And follow your instinct on how to react. The way I did it (to let him re-live his death) might be too much for your child, so that part of what I told above was not an advice, but just my experience. I don't know if there are 'rules' about how to react. There is people with more experience and knowledge than me on this forum.
     
  4. HeyJude

    HeyJude New Member

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    So it's been about a year since I was last on this site. The last couple of months I have really started to notice a difference in my little boy. For the past couple of weeks I think he has started to experience night terrors. At first it started with him waking up screaming and having an extreme reaction when his father tried to settle him, whereas I could settle him down straight away. However, the last week he's even rejecting me. We're trying to follow advice that we've read online regarding night terrors and to try and stand back and not intervene but it goes on for so long and it actually scares me. Things that he cries out when we can understand him are "don't hurt me" when we're not even touching him and "don't look at me". He got quite distressed during an episode at the weekend because he couldn't manage to turn all his teddies round so that they were looking the other way. He was also crying out for "my mummy" even though I was there and trying my best to reassure and comfort him it was like he was looking through me. There have been a number of times over the last few weeks too that he's said that he wants to go home, when we are already home. I've asked him to tell me where we are when he says this and he looks around the room like he's only seeing it for the first time and says "home", but very quietly and more like a question like he's not 100% sure. Last night I collected him from nursery and he was very reluctant to leave. While strapping him into his car seat he informed me that he didn't want to go home. I asked him where he would like to go and he answered to his house, followed by he wanted a new house and that he didn't like our house. I know that there's not much information there really and I don't even know why I'm back on this site, but it's just a feeling I just can't shake off. The amount of people who have joked "he's been here before", and maybe his whole demeanor just lead me to think maybe something else is causing this change. He's such a lovely and caring little boy but I'm just getting more and more worried that he seems sad more than happy, and looks at time that he's got the weight of the world on him. He turned 3 last month. Any advice?
     
  5. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    HeyJude, I've been waiting all day for someone with more experience/knowledge to chime in because you are talking about things that are probably above my pay-grade.

    From what I understand, you are doing the proper things by being supportive, open, and exploring his "reality" - not much more could be asked of you. I certainly hope that you are recording this somewhere complete with video if possible. It must be a bit heartbreaking at times, and frustrating to see the struggle and being unable to bring comfort.

    Hang in there, it will work itself out, you are in the first row of something wonderful even though the action is a little to close for comfort.
     
  6. CarolBowman

    CarolBowman Administrator

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    HeyJude, You're right, there is very little information to go on, but let's assume these are past life memories, traumatic ones that need to be addressed. Here are some reasons why I believe this: At a little over 3 years of age, he is at the optimal time for past life memories to emerge, and for kids to have the ability to express them verbally. I can see that his memories probably started surfacing when he was two, but he may have not had the ability to communicate what was happening, although he did say that "my baby is gone and has gone to the clouds". I would take that literally, so that could be your first clue. You said that when he has night terrors, he cries, "Don't hurt me; don't look at me," and he turns his teddy bears around. These very strong emotions that are coming up during his dream state, plus these remarks, leads me to believe that this may be connected to what he said last year about "his baby."

    I encourage you to read my first book, Children's Past Lives. I think it might help you in giving you some ideas on how to talk to him. I think you're already doing what is best by mirroring his language back to him to keep the conversation going. It's best if you can do this when he brings up the memories himself, spontaneously. Don't be afraid of him expressing strong emotions, since the memories are very charged for him, because they are related to a past life trauma. You could also jog his memory a bit if you feel he is still upset and needs to talk about it. Wait until he is relaxed and quiet--after a bath, right before he falls asleep, but not while you're driving in a car, to ask him what he remembers. (Many young children access these memories while being lulled into a relaxed state in the car seat, so if he does talk about it then, pull over to the side of the road.) You might ask him if he remembers his other home, or the baby, or his "other mummy". He might start talking, or he might not. It seems that you might have part of his story from the remarks he's made, so use those remarks as a guide to what he might be remembering to help him realize that he's now in a new life, and whatever happened before won't happen again. Use any assurances to him that you feel are appropriate for what is coming up. (I talk about this in more detail in the book.)

    If you need more guidance, post here again and we'll jump in to help. Please keep notes or a journal on exactly what he says, and how you respond to him. Just stay calm, allow him to talk, and acknowledge what he's saying.
     

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