My past lives research

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Totoro, Jul 25, 2011.

  1. usetawuz

    usetawuz Senior Registered

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    Your search for understanding is incredibly well layed out and obviously effective. To see the clues and realize the meaning behind them, and then apply it to benefit you and those you incarnate with is all we can ask for...add that to the tying together of all the people you are close to now with the same group then and you describe an incredible view into how our souls work together over generations. Thank you so much for sharing all of this Totoro.
     
  2. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I think there was about a year or so when I didn't work on the thread at all... And then here and there I read comments from one person to another about how they enjoyed reading someone else's story and it really clicked with me that the "silent majority" outweigh the number of people we have posting here on a daily basis.


    And suddenly it became important to me to keep it up because I realized I had an ability to show people, through the amount of documentation I have access to, the virtual normality of what we all experience.


    It's my sincere hope that something I've said or found will just click with or set off something in someone else and that will inspire them to look at their own lives in a different and (hopefully) better way.


    I've often said to you (ustawuz), that I feel like even if this all was meant to help me, I still feel bad like I don't deserve it and I wish that there was something I could do with that could help others in some way.


    And hopefully, in laying it out as honestly and completely as I can, I can nudge a few people into a higher state of awareness and that will inspire to people to make positive changes in their lives.


    I hope, anyway. :D


    And you flatter me with you're unwavering support as well!
     
  3. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    And as Usetawuz was speaking of family members and evolving dynamics, I wanted to post this. I came across this again recently and this is what my last wife was saying about her younger brother's wife, who is now my wife..

    It's all roughly translated, but three princess refers to Yun Ying and Wan Rong is translated as Shirley, for some reason.


    "And don't call me Shirley.." :laugh: I think that was in the movie Airplane or something..


    I find this quote particularly endearing because after all, this is the same woman that I married in this life.


    When we met, we had a rough start because my wife had a particularly rough life, as she did in her last one. We had a few of those "I don't know if this is a good idea to keep doing this" types of arguments and after one in particular, I remember just blurting out "I"m going to marry you".


    And up until that point, I had been living a similar life to that of Wan Rong in Tianjin in that I was just living it up and distracting myself from the fact that I wasn't really happy.


    But after I met my wife, it was like a switch was flipped and I was suddenly just ready to pick up and move on. And I've mentioned before as well that I read in one of Newton's books about someone remembering something about someone that were supposed to meet in their future life.


    I had a strong connection with that as I remember in accurate detail everything about my wife. I saw her for the first time on Oct. 31st, which is the inverse of 13, which is my birthday and our anniversary.


    And as an aside, this year, in 2013, my birthday is on Wednesday, the day I was born. And this is also the same year I turn 39, which is the age Wan Rong died. The symbolism for me this year is overwhelming!


    But prior to that first meeting, she had long hair. She had told me that she had seen me before then, but I had never noticed her until she had short hair, which is something I preferred on women for most of my life. I just must have been "pre programmed" while awaiting that point in time.


    And another aside about hair, I've always had a things about red hair too. About 5 years ago, I went to Vegas for my sister's wedding and I put money into one of those fortune teller machines and I got a card that said "For true happiness, cultivate a redhead". Something about it stuck with me and I still have the card in a drawer.


    Now my son's friend that is girl that should have been Wan Rong's daughter has red hair! And I'm pretty sure (I think!) that one day her and my son may get married. They have a very balanced and naturally nurturing relationship that is the kind of thing you would expect out of a long term partnership like marriage.


    This all echoes under the surface of course, but aside from the brother and sister like bickering they can do, you can definitely see that they genuinely care for one another.


    And I also say there's no doubt in my mind that she should have been Wan Rong's daughter because we're a lot a like. We have the same taste in clothes (meaning she wears exactly what I would have liked to wear if I was a teen aged girl) same tastes in music ect.


    I think we would have had a lot of fun together! I also feel that way because we have a natural dynamic in the way we talk to each other and that I can approach her on a "friend" level while still keeping the boundaries between parent and child.


    We went out to eat a while ago and we were all sitting there talking and I had the distinct feeling that I had both my kids with me and everything felt for the first time in my life like everything is the way it should be.
     
  4. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    My daughter's boyfriend feels that way to me, Totoro - like a long-lost, aggravating, but loved child has come home. They have the sort of relationship you describe your son and his friend having. We all, (Joseph, his mom, and Caitlin, and I) recognize a PL connection, but we haven't figured it out yet. And, my daughter and I thoroughly approve of anyone who realizes that redheads are special! I think your thread has helped more people than you know. When I first came to the forum, yours was the first thread that I read. It illustrates that there is healing in remembering PLs, and how foolish racial distinctions are. I was just discussing that with someone "dear". I feel sure you will find the right format for your book. Blessings!
     
  5. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    BriarRose, she continues to melt our hearts every time we see her! But I think that's the nature of things that when you find who you're supposed to be with, you just click and you suddenly can't remember a time when things haven't always been that way. I feel privileged to have seen it several times.


    I also hope I've helped as many people as I can! I'm glad that were friends now and that I may have also have helped you! I've really enjoyed your moral support and I'm finally making headway on my book! I think I just had to get over the anxiety I had once I actually decided to do it. Now that that's gone, I'm moving along :) Not as fast as i'd like, but progress is being made! Once I get it done, I'd be my honor to give you a copy.


    I've been wanting to do this for sometime and my sister sort of helped me, unknowingly. lol. She found the photo of me on the left in a box of photos my parents had and sent it to me.


    I had been meaning to get around to finding a photo of me from when I was younger and without my beard to do a photo comparison with.


    In the photos, we're all about the same age: 18-20. The photo in the middle, even though it's a profile, I felt always looked most like me when I was younger.


    What's interesting too is that for most of that age, I had sideburns. Why I wore them? I don't know. I just thought they were cool and it was quite a while before Brendan or whom ever it was started doing it on 90210!


    But notice too in the photo in the middle, it mimics the way that girls used to do their hair on the side in that time period.


    My wife says that I have trouble setting boundaries for myself and that if given the chance, i'd probably bring home every stray cat, dog and child for miles. And I agree with her, she's right! I think Wan Rong's life was an exercise in that. I think before hand, I knew it wasn't going to go well and that the days of being able to help people through hereditary entitlements were drawing to a close. But still, I thought that some way, some how, helping a few was better than none at all.
     
  6. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    13 November 1780 – 27 June 1839 Ranjit Singh


    13 November 1906 – 20 June 1946 Wan Rong


    Just putting this here for reference. Interesting how they died within a week of each other.
     
  7. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    That is interesting. I wonder what happened in between? Maybe you'll know someday, and if not, that life might not be pertinent to your current one. Ranjit Singh had a "high octane" life. You may have needed rest. :)
     
  8. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I agree, I don't think whatever it was was pertinent to my life now. Although I don't think I had one between the two. If I did, it would seem to break my sequence of birth dates I seem to be in the middle of.


    I'm suspicious though that I did some kind of spirit world advising during the Boer war. While I may have needed a change of venue, I doubt I took a break. Lol I'm sure in one way or the other I helped, taught, guided or something :)
     
  9. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I'm currently writing a book on my most previous past life and that's coming along well. I feel that being aware of her has really explained and shed light on my current connections with my family. And for me, it's been quite therapeutic in allowing me to move forward and let go of some personal baggage. And then there's the life previous to hers. After my dream in which I was given the advice to "hand the keys" to him, I'm still at a loss for what that means. When I started doing my research, I found that he was quite fond of an almost adopted daughter and this explained the young girl that is in same situation with my family now. But on the whole, I found too many people that were wrapped up in a masculine ego much like any kid that is involved in hip hop is. In fact it was much the same dynamic and I found it incompatible with me as a person and I quickly backed out of it. But a year later now and I still remember that two posts online were asking about his reincarnation (on my friend and my son's birthdays, which is significant) and now I find that a book of historical fiction has been written about just that. The number 13 has somewhat of a significance in Sikh culture and his birthday is the first birthday in a sequence of successive birthdays (they are all Nov. 13) that start on Monday, Tuesday (Wan Rong) and Wednesday (my birthday).So I'm quite sure there's something "there" for me, I'm just not sure what it is and what my approach should be. One of the things I'm curious about is the attached picture. What this is, is a modern portrait of Ranjit Singh. I could only find one poor photo of him online and that leaves me quite curious as to what the source of this painting was. If all the artist had was grainy, old photos, how did she manage to essentially paint my face as it (also) exists now? Paintings of him exist, but they are done in a traditional style and don't represent him verbatim. And I'm not raising my right eyebrow on purpose to copy the pose of the painting. :D That's actually a physical trait that became transferred through my current and last life due to the loss of Ranjit's left eye. The muscles in and around the right eye became more developed in compensation for the loss. This is something that you can also see in many photos of Wan Rong. But given the modern marvel that is the internet, I have emailed the artist about what she used as source material for the painting. And I just asked to ask, with no pretense. But still, cold calling people like that gives me the willies. I'll update if she says anything back. tumblr_n5bbt1byop1sv8r1lo1_500.jpg

    /monthly_2014_05/tumblr_n5bbt1byop1sv8r1lo1_500.jpg.5f7a19d85ac64c9bc1239141548c8333.jpg
     
  10. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I had another dream about Chinese houses last night.


    The first one I had, I dreamed about ghostly people floating through corridors in period Manchu clothing when I heard a voice tell me "you need to finish your book because we want you back in the house".


    This time, I was in a cavernous building that gave me the vague feeling that I was in The Forbidden City, in Beijing. The inside was a museum and I had just arrived there with my family from travelling. I stopped a tour guide or someone that worked there and I said "I don't mean to sound egregious, but this is my house and could you tell me where the bedrooms are?"


    Le sigh. I'm 75% of the way done with my book and my goal is to be done by my birthday in November. And at some point after that, hopefully I'll have closure on what all these dreams mean.
     
  11. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I just thought of this, this morning. My wife was born in '81 and that's the same year i moved to Florida.


    My friend, who was my past life's husband, lived in New York several hours from where I lived there. Sometime after we moved to Florida, my friend and his family moved down here to where I would eventually settle with my family and meet him and my wife.


    It's interesting because I think it is an example of how much free will we have down here and also how everyone around us works together to keep the major aspects of our life plans on track.
     
  12. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I watched this video today on Ranjit Singh. While it's for children, it does highlight a few common personality traits between him, myself and Wan Rong.


    Mainly that we all prefer the company of older people (older adults and senior citizens), we're noted for our kindness, yet sadly that is also contrasted with mood swings.


    For some reason, I find that I am very sad to see that in the video. There will always be things we don't like about ourselves and it's easy to say "hey it's not your fault, you had bad parents" etc. Yet clearly through my 3 lives, I can see that we had ADD (along with my son) and these mood swings and it's a bit depressing to think that it can't be blamed on either nurture or nature.


    I'd like to fix this part of myself, but I'm not sure what to do about it. :(
     
  13. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    (Photo no longer available)

    Another comparison of me and Ranjit Singh.
     
  14. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Wan Rongs reported death was on June 20th, although I have seen it stated as the 27th in a few places.


    I'm really curious if it isn't actually the 27th. Ranjit Singh's death is also the 27th and I had the presence of mind today to realize that my mothers birthday is also June 27th.


    If Wan Rong's death was the 27th, that would make more sense since alignments between dates seems very prevaliant with me, and also considering how close Wan Rong and her mother were.
     
  15. lemonfarm

    lemonfarm Registered

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    Hi Totoro


    I don't know much about Puyi, but from what you are saying, I think you might have been his domme.


    It does not mean he was gay, although submissives tend to be more on the bi/gay side of things, they all respond well to a female domme. (dominatrix)


    From the 5 main types, the female "Queen" is the "all rounder", meaning, most powerful.


    This does not mean a real Queen although they can be in that position in real life as well. It means a Queen in terms of energy.


    It's an energy the submissive finds very comforting, so a cross between a mother, a lover and someone who keeps him in line.


    From what I know about Puyi I can not tell whether he was submissive etc.


    I can however tell if I see or read more. (I am a domme).


    It's also something you may notice, there are many submissives around. If he was a submissive though, he was "yours". You own him. This is a bit like a mother son relationship in that kids usually always want to spend more time with their mother than they can. For a child, a mother is always a top priority.


    For a mother, it's of course the same but a mother can have more children and they will all be centering around the mother.

     
  16. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    (Photo no longer available)

    Just putting this here. A better / newer comparison of Ranjit Singh and myself.
     
  17. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I was doing some more research into my birthday, Nov 13th. Nov 13th is the 317th day of the year. 3-1-7. All of the important numbers in my life. Very interesting......
     
  18. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    My birthday is November 13th, the 317th day of the year.


    In numerology of my full name, my number is 1, my soul urge number is 7 and my inner dream number is 3.


    There are 11 letters in my first name. I was born in the 11th month of the year. The letter values for my first name added and then reduced, equal 13, and then 4. 13 is the day I was born. 4 is the day my wife was born.

     
  19. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    It has been a long time.. A lot of drama and stress has been going on at home the last year.. but I'm starting to feel better and like I can re-enter the world a bit.

    Just wanted to give an update on something that happened between me and my son the other day. We were at a scouting event and he started rough housing around with me by trying to shove me with both hands. I instinctively swept his arms (from the inside out) and grabbed his wrists and fake kicked to his knee with the inside edge of my left foot; it was purely a reflective action, one I'm now used to knowing comes from past life experience.

    It was one of those things that caught my son off guard and he started laughing and wanting to know what I did. I very nearly said "c'mon, you used to be Chinese, you don't remember this stuff?!"
     
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  20. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I guess I'm just going to vent a bit..

    I haven't been around because things have been really, really tough for me emotionally the last, going on 2 years now. We had a foster kid who turned our house into chaos the year previous and I think that may have ignited issues with my wife, from whom I'm now separated. Things are moving along, we're talking, there's some therapy for her. This is mostly about her and her issues than anything and I do believe they stem from her past life. Her situations are the same in both lives... She had an abusive mother and was left mostly to care for herself from a young age. Both lives were devoted to caring for her families and in this one, we were together. However she kept her needs and feelings to herself and it all got to be too much for her.

    I know we chose to be together in this life, so that I can help her and so that we can be together, as we were married in our lives before our immediately previous ones. What's hard for me though is that I have so much unfinished business from my last one, now that we're separated, I find myself stuck back in gender frustration.

    Being separated has been good, due to the way things were with us, my personality was suppressed. I'm now cooking, cleaning and homemaking and I find it freeing and fun. My wife also finds it attractive, wishing I could have done it sooner! But that's part of the issues that we had between us.


    Being alone again though has brought out the regrets, wishing I had been female , jealously over clothing again, having missed the opportunity to have children.. Old habits are coming back too, the way I walk has changed, I instinctively swish hair out of my face or off my shoulders, that isn't there. At home when I have some alone time, I've been combing my hair in a feminine style, just for fun. It's kind of like I'm saying to myself, the agreement was I was going to be your husband to help you and now that's on hold, I could have been a girl again and dang it, I want it now. That's not saying we won't get back together and continue on our path or fate will take its course one way or the other.

    I honestly think I could do either or and be happy, but my issues stem from self sacrifice and the frustrations of constantly delaying the gratification of what I want for others. I'm happy to do it, out of love, but it has its own burdens as well. I also know I need to enjoy each day as it's own gift and I need to learn patience. I also have enough of the puzzle pieces to know that I'll be a girl again in my next life and we will live again in Tianjin, China. It's a small consolation...
     

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