Hi Totoro, Sorry about the bad year, and hope that it all will work out for the best. Nothing you say startles me too much in terms of the loosening of bonds allowing a degree of relaxing into who you actually feel yourself to be. One way or another, I think this happens to everybody to some degree or another in this situation. The truth is that we all have to sacrifice part of ourselves to make marriage work--once again, some more and some less. No two people ever seem to be an exact match, though some definitely come closer than others. One way or another, the sacrifice is worth it or (in this modern age) people call it quits. I hope for the best for you and your wife, but in my heart feel like its going to be a toughie either way. And, conversely, there are going to be some positives either way. Perhaps the balance will be better for both of you this time around. Only you two can make the decision, and it takes two to make it work. Best of luck! Cordially, S&S PS--Very curious about the how you "know that I'll be a girl again in my next life and we will live again in Tianjin, China." This subject came up repeatedly with "Divine One" in her prior threads.