My past lives research

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Totoro, Jul 25, 2011.

  1. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I think at the time, I was probably looking for comfort in some of the other threads and I never really found it. I think that for people that were driven to obtain their own wealth and influence, they feel quite differently from people that are born into it. I guess that's not true 100% of the time either,

    I think I was reacting to the fantasy element that so many people have about being rich and famous. My past life is and was the subject of a never ending stream of inaccurate drama filled movies, tv shows and what ever else. I think I felt like I never had any privacy or a good word said about me and people turn up here and all kinds of placed wishing they were princes and didn't have to work and stuff.

    I think it was hard for me for a long time to separate myself from it. The feeling was honestly like being at your own funeral and seeing all of these negative works and then people thinking they were amazing. I don't know if I'm describing the feeling the right way.

    But still, I think I find feeling average preferable to being famous. lol.
     
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  2. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

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    But, landend wants to be Ben, so we get confused!
     
  3. glia21

    glia21 Explorer

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    Hello totoro,
    I started to read your whole thread all over again and it´s fascinating. I especially love how you put this:

    "I still feel really sad now, like I'm on the verge of tears. She was the life I really wanted, but it just wasn't meant to be. I suppose if you can pick out bodies like you can take a dress off of a rack at a store, it was the one I really, really wanted. I guess it's that feeling when you stand in the mirror and you've found the perfect dress and you try to hold onto it for as long as you can because you know you can't afford it and you're just trying to hold onto every second and every feeling until that short time is over and you have to finally put it back."

    That rings true to me, honestly, I believe this is the reason I´m still so much drawn to one my pls because this one body fit me perfectly - even if taking in consideration how much I messed everything up. It wasn´t even the perfect look, I could have looked much better, and I don´t look that bad now, but it just did fit.
     
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  4. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Oh yeah, she was by no means perfect.. but I had my mom, my family, we were in China.. it just seems like everything was meant to be but wasn't! I think a lot of not letting go of it has to do with dying at 39 and having a life that was largely left unfulfilled.

    How do you feel you messed everything up? Do you think that you too may have had an unfulfilling life?
     
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  5. glia21

    glia21 Explorer

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    An unfulfilling life? Not exactly. No I don´t think it was unfulfilled. There may have been two or three incidents I could have made different decisions for the sake of others and my own sake. Thinking About it -- I don't know. I was emotionally quite unstable, restless, lack of Impulse Control, lust for adventure (more or less like I´m today - sounds like ADHD doesn´t it? I don't take any medication and it improved the last three years too, so I'm not sure. I frequently Change my Job though and get bored so very easily).
    I still don´t think it was unfullfilled - it was full of love despite of all the inconviniences .. same as my life is today to be honest except that I don´t feel so well in my Body (but on the other Hand - I wouldn´t want to have misses what I´ve experienced here - like child birth and insight into Women's views of Things, feminism, inequalities, it is something valuable at least, even if I can't relate to everything )
     
  6. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Happy new year!

    This was just random today, but we've been on winter break from school and I took my son to Orlando today for some fun. I got home and I found out my cousin had sent me some of my grandfather's heirloom garlic from NY. My son asked me what dishes it's used in and I said everything from Asian to Italian. I said I was reading a recipe on Facebook the other day for Mongolian beef that had garlic in it and I was wondering how they'd get garlic in Mongolia.

    So my son asks me, what Mongolia is like today, he's always wondered that. It's interesting he said today and not what's it like, in general. Our Chinese family's ancestry is from inner Mongolia and I'm sure in China we had older relatives that still remembered living there. Manchukuo is also in Mongolia, where we lived for a time.

    Cute and funny.. funny how the mind still remembers even if we don't.
     
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  7. Klaud

    Klaud Senior Member

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    Happy new year!

    Oddly, garlic is one of the few non animal products that's really prevalent in traditional Mongolian cooking. The country is so arid that only garlic, onion, and a few vegetables can naturally grow there. Before my past life in Mongolia had really presented itself, we had Mongolian beef for dinner and it wasn't bad, but I remember thinking like 'this is basically Chinese food'.
     
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  8. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Yeah I realized that after I talked to him about it. I told him it was more or less a kind of desert and then I realized the only thing that would grow is hardy root type vegetables. I just never would have thought garlic would be a staple there. I don't know much about it, however, for my son in particular, it was probably his version of the wild west in the US. Lots of horse riding, shooting bows and arrows and things. He probably would have been told tales of Mongolian cowboys or whatever their version is! I have memories of being there, a seriously long time ago, but it's not a prominent memory.

    We had a talk to about how most Chinese food in the US is mainly from either Beijing or Hong Kong. It's a lot harder now than it used to be to find regional restaurants in the US. Most have gone the NY take away style. You can't find Hunan, Schezwan anywhere anymore. If you asked someone what chop suey was today, they'd think you're crazy lol.

    So how and why did your Mongolian life present itself? That's really interesting.. did something significant happen to you in it?
     
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  9. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    my little girl was over the moon one time as we during holiday came to visit an area built up to look like the old cowboy days. instead of going for the girly looking guns and hats she went into the grown man's sections and wanted it to be in her size too but then she had to go back and then she took things from the boy's section and said it would do but she was disappointing that they did not sell rope. She wanted me to ask if they had it "back there" (further back in the store, in their storage). She has returned to this rope thing, once irritated as she passed me by said mom, can you please do a knot like i use to know how to do? i think she is referring to lasso? she said I have forgotten how to do it! Like I can't believe this. and gave me this thin little rope she found somewhere. I bet she had tried to do it and got real mad about not knowing before she tossed it over to me ;)
     
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  10. Klaud

    Klaud Senior Member

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    The Wild West is a good analogy! What you described is right on the money. My life there was pre Ghengis Khan, so it was quite a different place.

    Non Americanized Chinese food doesn't exist here in the middle of nowhere unfortunately :( Have you tried legit Sichuan sauce? It's so good as a dipping sauce.

    Why it showed up, I don't know, it just kind of did. I always had an odd and extremely disturbing memory of drinking horse blood, and it took me like 20 years to figure out what it was.

    As for how, I was watching a video about the Mongolian steppes and had a very emotional reaction to it. Just sat there and bawled because I wanted to go home. Then I was able to see myself in it and getting into all kinds of trouble.

    tl;dr it was a horrible life and I killed a lot of people, many of which are very dear friends in this life. Not out of malice, it was just the way things were done then.
     
  11. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    This is Puyi and me. I'm not sure when the picture was taken. I really thought it was interesting because in this one and the one below, you can really see how thin I am. In many of the photos of me, I'm either seated , wearing robes which cover everything or it's just a head shot. The reason I bring it up is because a few posts back, I found the head shot with the hat and I immediately had negative feelings about it and here are two photos that back up my feelings and concern about losing weight from having anxiety, when I'm already too skinny.

    ChaselL 畅 on Twitter.jpg

    This photo is from the same day as the photos of me smoking, the head shot with the hat and maybe one more. I'm not sure what the occasion was, but I know the year was 1930, I did verify that online some time ago. I've come to call the event hat day, but it looks like they are doing something in garden at the ligation quarters.

    I'm really surprised because photos keep popping up online from this day. For a long time, the only one I had seen was me smoking and then there has been a sudden trickle of new photos.
    download.jpg
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2020
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  12. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Capture.JPG

    This is a photo of my son and my past live's brother. I did it on my phone and then uploaded it here and the original photo on the right must have been smaller than I realized. However, they are the same age I think or close and I think they look quite a lot alike. My son, who has just turned 18 a month or so ago, has had his hair long for several years now. One of the reasons he says he likes it is because it hides his ears, which he feels stick out too much. I wonder how he felt about them in his past life too.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2020
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  13. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    78168648dc11a76a9c2ebba5dcc3bead.jpg

    Here is the one of me smoking, from hat day. I thought it was in my thread, but I went back and didn't see it.
     
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  14. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    dog-bolognese-chinese-empress-wanrong_1_2578a03113cb39aa72e8fa53704ca569.jpg

    here's another one I just found right now. It looks like me, but it also looks like the photo has been altered somehow. Maybe in an attempt to restore damage. The bottom of the planter looks like it was simply drawn in and the hair looks very incorrect.

    As you can see in some of my other photos, I'm usually playing with a lot of the animals that lived in the imperial palace. I'm still definitely an animal lover as I own three cats.
     
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  15. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Sorry for the belated reply.. I've been working from home the past two months and while I've enjoyed it, time has just slipped by. I went from watching TV shows to movies and I caught up on the last movie in the Yip Man trilogy with Donny Yen. He reminds me of my father and most of the movie was filmed in a traditional setting and I instantly got homesick. I hadn't felt that way in a long time and it sent me on a trip looking for new images.
     
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  16. inhaltslos

    inhaltslos Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Really enjoyed your update, @Totoro.
     
  17. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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  18. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Screenshot_20200626-132616~2.png




    Just another small update.. my father, Rong Yuan, is standing in the back. Zaifeng, Puyi's father is to the left and Pujie, Puyi's brother is on the right.
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2020
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  19. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Totoro,

    Nice posts and pictures! I'm glad that you're still around and active. I'm finding myself really missing a lot of long-time members who have "departed" like Ken and dking777, or are simply not around anymore, like Tanguerra, Mere Dreamer, Past Pilot, and a variety of others. Among the recent losses, I lament "Jaimie" and Li La, neither of whom has posted in a while.

    Cordially,
    S&S

    PS--REALLY missing KenJ recently. There has always been a fairly limited group of "old guys" like me. Now, with Ken gone, it is just me and John Tat. That is not my primary reason for missing Ken, but just realizing that we're an endangered species around here.;)
     
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  20. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    S&S,

    Thank you! I'm still active. Or at least I try to be. Life gets busy and I think maybe we all hit a saturation point where we learn what we need to or are going to, at least for a while.

    I still have more I want to do with my research and I read here all the time and I occasionally chime in when I feel I have something constructive to contribute.

    I need to make a choice though to be more active in things that are important to me though. The last four years were quite taxing on me personally and I just started a new job that has me immediately working from home and I've really been enjoying the down time. I suppose I can be motivated to reach out to others!

    I sadly think though that's the nature of forums. People get busy with other priorities and just dissapear, almost. I agree though, their absence is missed and I have a few names I could contribute to the list as well, some old members going back 10 years or more.

    I have to say I miss KenJ too. Every time I opened a thread to read the latest, Ken would usually have the last post or two, welcoming a new member or assisting another with their questions or particular line of query. It was reassuring in a way I suppose.. a indication of sorts that everything was ok and functioning normally.
     
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