Need information/Reincarnation/Russia

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by DoingThingsWithAbby, Dec 13, 2017.

  1. DoingThingsWithAbby

    DoingThingsWithAbby Active Member

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    The lifetime I speak of ended in 1985, in Moscow Russia. My name was Natasha. I had a husband named Viktor, who worked some sort of office job for the KGB. I cannot remember all of my last name. It started with an M and ended with OV. I had short, just above the shoulder, brown hair and eyes, I danced ballet and did ice skating.
    The summer Viktor left for his mandatory army stint I took a blonde boy as my lover, though it never went any farther than making out. My father caught us and tried to throw him out the window. He called me a whore and said that He'd paid viktor good money for me, and that I'd better be a virgin on my wedding night. I was so happy when Viktor came back. We got married soon after that. I don't remember when he started beating me. When I tried to get help from my family, they said it was my fault, that I was a bad wife. The saddest part was that I believed them.

    I never wanted children; But Viktor did. 5 of them. He threw out my pills. I got pregnant twice. The first time I had a miscarriage, I don't know why I did, I sat agianst the wall near the door, crying. The baby was around 3-4 months. After a week of me not eating, or getting out of bed, Viktor had had enough. He scooped me up, Skimpy, homemade soviet underwear and all, and took me to a obgyn. For those of you who don't know, that's a special pregnancy doctor. I kept telling Viktor I didn't want children. He didn't listen. Things eventually descended into rape, and abuse.
    I eventually went to his friend Vlad. Vlad had been the one to get Viktor into the KGB, he sometimes came to check in on me and even brought me things like soup and roast chicken, or some sort of fowel. I had to beg him to help me escape my husband. He finally took me seriously when He found me tied to the bed by my ankle.

    I don't remember when I got pregnant, but I know it was the same length of time as before. I'd started to learn english, and Vlad took me to different places so we could grab a bite to eat and practise. He once told me that I had to learn to speak english better than the Americans so that I could blend in with them. It was october when I finally got an oppertunity to leave.

    Viktor caught me going down the stairs, and grabbed me. "Who is he? Who is this other man you're going to see? Is it a filthy American?" I don't remember what happened next. All I know was that he threw me down the concreate staircase and onto the landing that led to the staircast that went to the ground floor. I hit the wall, then the floor. Smething must have happened because I couldn't move my legs and my back hurt. I know that the injury was enough to kill the baby, because I bled to death, knowing it was dead. Viktor came back several times, when I didn't get up, he went into the apartment, took his revolver from the night stand and shot himself.

    I was already dead by the time this had happened though. The phone rang, I knew it was Vlad, calling to either check on me or to tell viktor that I was on a boat somewhere that wasn't america. The truth was that I was getting on a plane. But I know Vlad was going to try and convince me to stay with him. Vlad is still alive. I just want an end to this. Both Natasha and I have a purple mark on our right bicep. Idk where it was from.

    Viktor is the reason I'm afraid of acohol, he's the reason I cannot be intamate without dissassociation (Going into a trance like state), So I don't have sex. Viktor is the reason I am terrified of stairs and going to a doctor that deals with female things. This man has taken so much from me. I just want to take some of it back. I've tried researching him, but seeing as I don't know any russian, and his files were likely wiped clean to save face, I'll have to go to russia to find vlad and ask him for help.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2017
  2. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    Hi Abby,

    That is shocking and deeply sad. I'm so very sorry for your suffering and that it's remained with you so strongly 'til now, which isn't surprising as it was only just over thirty years ago and i'm guessing you were only a very young woman when you married Viktor, and you must be young in your current life too.

    I'm not clear if Viktor paid your father or your father paid Viktor? I had a Judeo-Christian friend who along with her Jewish mum (her mum used to call me and anyone non-Jewish and especially Christians 'devil woman'. She was not so much brainwashed by her religion as actually ill - possibly due to the stress of life in the USSR). My friend Luda told me how dangerous it was to listen to Christian radio or the BBC World Service and one or two other things. They were among a number of Jews who were allowed to leave during the 1970's. They were somewhere small like Lithuania but not there. I can't remember the name of the town. They went to N Zealand, then here to England then during the late 1980's they went to live in Israel. Luda didn't particularly want to go as she had built a life and midwife career here, but being very caring toward her mum and her mum wanting to go there so much, she went. Her mum was in her fifties with nothing to offer as a migrant but as a midwife Luda could get them both in and hoped being there would help her mum's mental health. Anyway, I digress. The impression I got then was that at that time it was a quite backward, harsh nation. That the people were always on tenterhooks.

    Then in more recent years, my husband and I had financial difficulties so between 2009 and 2010 we let a room to a really nice older Hungarian man. His wife and two teenage sons had remained there to try and keep their failing farm going. He had come to earn money to send home and try to keep them afloat. We let his wife and one son visit for no extra charge for a week once. Their other son slept at the man's older son's bedsit nearby. The boys were typical boys for their age, but his wife - like he - seemed always a little nervous and to be wary of saying or doing anything 'wrong'. I understood why when he later told me what it was like there. The restrictions. He said that during the soviet era, if caught listening to rock music he would have been in trouble and that the regime 'was like steel on the skin'.

    After he left a year or so later, we had another older man who came from Russia rent the room for maybe a month. He was even more nervous. Every time we spoke to him he looked scared stiff, like a rabbit caught in headlights. I think it was worse for him as his English language skills were quite limited. However, he was happy when the nice hotel where he was Chef offered him a room there. It saved him travel, fares, it was a larger room and in a beauty spot.

    So it seems that everyone i've known who grew up in the USSR before the wall came down had been very mentally and emotionally oppressed by the state (a feeling I am starting to have in England with what seems to be an agenda where government, authorities and the media are beginning to order the public what to think, say and do - over and above anything i've ever known here before in my quite long life). It is shocking but not so hard to believe that girls were sold to be married by fathers in such a political and social enviroment. It is in the media quite a lot that a lot of people trafficking and the modern slave trade here in the UK is run by people from Eastern and Central Europe. So I guess it is a culture that came from the Soviet era and it has continued with some.

    In any civilised free country you could have gone into any police station or social services and told them, and been given help and even if only a room in a homeless hostel at least a roof over your head and a bed to sleep in, along with a shared shower/bath and kitchen. Also benefits if you weren't working. Or if you were working and got paid you could have just left home, gone anywhere, rented a room or a flatshare to start with. Not there though. Especially not then. I can understand you and no doubt many others were trapped in your situations.

    Can I ask how old you were when you married Viktor? How long you were married? Your age in your current life?
     
  3. DoingThingsWithAbby

    DoingThingsWithAbby Active Member

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    I was maybe 20 or 18. I was married to him from febuary to october 8th. I'm around that age now.
     
  4. DoingThingsWithAbby

    DoingThingsWithAbby Active Member

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    Thank you for sharing thoae stoeies. Ciktor and i lived in moscow possibly in olympic village. The plaxe with all the comminity apartments. We had one of pur own
     
  5. DoingThingsWithAbby

    DoingThingsWithAbby Active Member

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    Viktor paid my father. My family had been sweet on the idea of us marrying since we were small. They thought their daughter would be safe with a neighbor boy who had ambitions.
     
  6. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    I thought you would have been about that age, and would be now. You came back quite soon. Do you think you know the reason why so soon? Could you have been developing feelings for Vlad? It seems he had feelings for you. He was trying to help you knowing you might not stay with him, and knowing it would end his friendship with Viktor who could have found a way to cause trouble for him with the KGB.

    I am a bit confused. In your other thread you mentioned being in Viktors house in the 1800's, and being an Irish girl then. The scenario was very different to above. Was that a different life?
     
  7. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    Also, I wonder which country you are now in? and if you were brought up in your current country?
     
  8. DoingThingsWithAbby

    DoingThingsWithAbby Active Member

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    he wasn't into the KGB, just some office job I don't remember the specifics of and he delt drugs and carried a kalashnakov (That he NEVER LET ME TOUCH)
     
  9. DoingThingsWithAbby

    DoingThingsWithAbby Active Member

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    It was a different life. And I've had more detailed visions. Vlad set me up. He was planning to help viktor get to american and bring me back. I am an american. Right now I'd like to go to russia and figure everything out.
     
  10. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    You mentioned Vlad helped Viktor get into the KGB. So that's why I thought they both worked for that organisation. Now I am a bit confused, but maybe it's difficult to not only remember everything clearly in chronological order but also to write it as you remember it.

    I wonder what time it is where you are? It is just gone 3a.m. here, a silly time for me to be awake but an afternoon nap turned into a couple of hours sleep for me yesterday p.m., so I am only just starting to become tired enough for sleep. My body clock is 'up the wall', since developing osteo-arthritis a few years ago. The pain can wake me at night, then i'm tired and need a nap in the day which is fine if it's only for half an hour to an hour, but if I nod off properly for too long then i'm not tired enough to sleep for the night at a sensible time. I know that in some parts of the USA it will be about 9pm on Sunday evening instead of 3am on Monday morning.
     
  11. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    Vlad sounds very complicated. To bring you food, help you to flee abroad but for it to be a set-up for he and Viktor to go and take you back. Why would he have planned to do that, do you think?
     
  12. DoingThingsWithAbby

    DoingThingsWithAbby Active Member

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    I don't know. All I remember is being excited about being able to go to american and not questioning why he gave natasha 2 tickets instead of one. It makes no sense.
     
  13. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    I think i'm getting too tired to think straight now and I need to get some sleep at last. I shall think about your situation and try to help you find a solution that will help you sort things out, safely where you are preferably. A foreign country where you no longer know the language or todays culture (which has reportedly changed a lot also with much immigration quite besides the massive political changes). Maybe you have a spiritual form of deep post traumatic stress, as thinking of going there (alone or with maybe only one or two other very young adults?) is a desperate thing to consider doing. You wouldn't have had such an idea unless the memory is making you suffer, but you see - going there could be physically dangerous unless you have an understanding older family member who knows why, and will go with you to ensure you remain safe.
    Even if you were able to find Vlad, there is no saying you would be able to convince him who you are. His mind may just not be able to accept it. Even if he did, he might not tell the truth and also if he was a gangster, even a small time one then, he might be very dangerous to you now. Remember what I said about people trafficking? There are a lot of reports to read on the web

    It would be a good idea if it is possible for you to heal from this without going there. Also, it wouldn't disrupt your daily life. I shall write more tomorrow. Goodnight and sweet dreams, Abby. Maybe watch something funny, or some cute pets on yt before sleep :)
     
  14. DoingThingsWithAbby

    DoingThingsWithAbby Active Member

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    I know exactly where and whom he is. I plan on going to a hypno therapist to help releave some of the pain. There are things I can't find on the internet that I'd like to know. I am well aware of the danger in going to a forgien country alone. I'm prepaired.
    Also, I know things that only natasha and viktor would know, that and I and Natasha have a matching mark on our arms. I know I can convince Vlad!
    sweet dreams to you too.
     
  15. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    I've just had a thought. The lady who owns this forum, Carol Bowman, is I think in America and she apparently has a very good reputation for past life regression hypnosis. I don't know how far she is from you, but a lot nearer than Russia anyway. So even if she wouldn't do Skype or similar and you had to take a few days vacation to see her once or twice, that would still be a less costly, much safer and less stressful option. Apparently, a good hypnosis regressionist can often help people resolve inner conflicts and past traumas in one or two appointments. Would it be practical for you to look into doing that? Or maybe she knows of a hypno regressionist nearer to you, if you email her to explain your age and the practicalities of getting to her. Please whatever you do, please never go to one through just an ad. If they don't understand what they are doing they can cause a lot of problems by creating false memories and the emotions that go with them. That' s the last thing you need on top of what you are already going through. From what I have read from other members here, Carol Bowman has a very good reputation and understands well.
     
  16. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    Just read this. Ok. Goodnight again. My old eyes are closing now. Lol.
     
  17. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    to cheer you up. The lady was a lovely friend of mine and wasn't hurt.
     
  18. DoingThingsWithAbby

    DoingThingsWithAbby Active Member

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    thank you! you are a very kind woman! sweet dreams.
     
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  19. DoingThingsWithAbby

    DoingThingsWithAbby Active Member

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    Thank you. Ill keep that in mind. Ill look her up tomorrow.
     
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  20. Angie Brown

    Angie Brown Senior Registered

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    Well i'm glad I read your other posts. I went from the earliest to now, so when I first read about the glass blower I thought that had been a pleasant romantic or semi-romantic relationship, but then read a more recent post where it seems that maybe not be so.

    That is at least three carnations where you have known him and he has been abusive, and you mention in another post that he isn't alive now. Just as well. Gives you a chance to recover.

    Could it be that he is a stalker? I know there is a belief we are carnated again with certain spirits to work things out but i'm positive that isn't always so. It makes sense to me that sometimes a spirit will become so besotted with another that they stalk them whenever they are re-incarnated in the same timeline. Stalkers are by nature narcisstic at least, and often have other personality disorders and are very manipulative and controlling. Such a person has the attitude that they own and have rights to another and the right to expect the other to think, say and do all they are told to, without question or quibble. When their object of desire doesn't comply, they find ways to punish. Mental, emotional and/or physical abuse.

    It may be that having murdered Natasha and their baby brought and end to it. He could have just stayed in the apartment and let someone else find, and claimed she must have fallen. He might well have got away with it. Shooting himself may have been the result of an epiphany of his behaviour and character, and he may have been so horrified at what he done that he will leave you alone in future.

    Of course, I could be wrong and he may not be a stalker spirit. There could be a different reason you keep coming into contact. Either way, the reason must have begun during your time in Atlantis or before, imo.

    I'm not sure how Vlad could help with that, or if he could help with as much as you hope he can. If he gave you two 'plane tickets then perhaps he was thinking of going with you, if you wouldn't stay in Russia with him. Whatever his thoughts and feelings might have been toward you as Natasha, he won't think and feel the same toward you now so many years later. I don't know why, I can't shake the feeling that he won't be good for you. I don't know why. I just can't shake off that feeling. Obviously it's your call though.

    Can I ask how you came to know these memories? Through a CD, yt video, or a hypno regressionist? When you had your first memory? It's brought up a lot for you to deal with and to put away in the past, so you can move on and enjoy this and any future carnations. If it did start through seeing a hypno regressionist, then I don't think s/he did a very good job in ensuring you were able to come out of it unscathed and detached enough from the past to be able to move on or at least not think about it too much. I shouldn't go back to one who did such a poor job.

    I'm sure you are right that it would be helpful to visit a reputable one asap, which you were writing of doing as I was at the same time replying about Carol Bowman. A very good idea, whether or not you go to Russia after.
    If he is a stalker, there may be a way for your spirit to contact his and to order him authoritively to never ever come anywhere near you again. A good practitioner may be able to help you do that safely so he can't hurt you.

    I can't think of anything else I can suggest that might help you resolve this and heal, so can I ask you let me know how you are in the future? How you have sorted things out?

    Best wishes, sweetie. You deserve to be happy and you WILL be. What you have been through and how it's affecting you now isn't forever. Nothing stays the same. All things change and your life will change for the better.
     

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