New and Hopeful

Discussion in 'Members Lounge' started by Rynthae, Jun 8, 2018.

  1. Rynthae

    Rynthae New Member

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    Hello everyone,

    I'm Ryn and I'm new here, and look forward to meeting you all. Aside from my day job, I'm a violin maker, butterfly gardener, cosplayer, and dabble in art and writing when I can find the time. For almost as long as I can remember, I've had memories of a couple past lives. Some are vivid dreams recollecting events that happened. Others are more vague, recurring dreams of wandering an eerily familiar place. Sometimes pieces come during the day; sometimes places summon unexplained nostalgia that feels overwhelming. There is someone in particular that I'm looking for from a past life, though I'd love to talk to anyone who remembers the same events. I wasn't sure if this forum is the right place to do that, or where to start my search, but I can't stop thinking about it, and I want to try. I'll probably post up some of the memories in the memories section later tonight.

    Just in case it is relevant, I have DDNOS and am a part of a system, but most likely I'll be the only one posting on here.

    Thank you all for having me, and I look forward to talking to you!

    -Ryn
     
  2. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    Hello Ryn,

    a warm welcome to you.
    I have been getting tidbits from many lives myself, in all kinds of different ways. I definitely can relate to the nostalgia, this deep longing... when I see or hear certain things.
    I would love to meet somebody with whom I am sharing memories myself. So far I wasn't too lucky, but I won't give up.

    My best wishes to you. Hope you will find the people you are looking for.
     
  3. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Welcome Ryn - nice to have you here. I hope you enjoy the space. Curious - what is DDNOS? Love your title to the thread....nice.
     
  4. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Ryn,

    Welcome aboard! BTW--How would we know if one of the others was posting? Would they sign off with a different name or should we be aware of any other identifiers?

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
  5. Rynthae

    Rynthae New Member

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    Thank you both for the warm welcome! It's nice to meet you two.

    @SeekerOfKnowledge best of luck in your search as well!

    @Deborah DDNOS stands for Disassociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specific, in my case it is similar to DID (previously MPD), so there are alters, but with some differences such as better recollection and control.
     
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  6. Rynthae

    Rynthae New Member

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    Hi @SeaAndSky

    The others probably won't be posting unless anyone wants to talk to them, but if they do they'll sign their name or the first letter of their name at the end of the message usually. When I'm here, I will usually leave things unsigned or sign off as Ryn, Rynthae, Michelle, or M, so if it's anything different from that it's one of the others.
     
  7. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi Ryn,

    Welcome to this forum.
    Can you tell us about your memories?
     
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  8. Rynthae

    Rynthae New Member

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    Hi fireflydancing, it's nice to meet you. I'd be happy to share them. I posted a bit over on the Past Life Memories section, but I'll share it here, too.

    One of the past lives that I have the most memories and recurring dreams from is as Killian Alexander. I was the son of a bishop in Ireland, seemed to be somewhere around the 1800s? As Killian, my mother died when I was young and I was raised by my father. We lived out of the cathedral my father worked out of, which had small but nice private quarters on the upper floors. My father was a devout religious man and despite everything that happened, I knew that he loved me very much.

    My father believed I was the victim of demonic possession, because I had episodes where I was "not myself" and could not recall anything that happened during the blackouts. It terrified me that I couldn't remember what happened when I blacked out, and at the time I struggled a lot with wondering if it was caused by something like DID, or if it truly was an outside influence. My father began locking me in my room, for my own well-being. I scared others when I blacked out. The blackouts scared me, too. My father called in others to attempt exorcisms on me, but none of them had an effect. I grew depressed and lonely in my isolation, and the blackouts became worse and more frequent. I began to break out on a regular basis--both when I was "myself" and when I was blacked out, but every time I was found and dragged back home.

    Desperate, my father asked for the help of a traveling priest who specialized in exorcisms. His name was Dorian. He visited me and spent time with me before deciding that an exorcism wouldn't do any good. He claimed that whatever entity was bound to me was not evil, though Dorian was extremely curious and wanted to learn more. He and I grew close, first as friends, and then as lovers.

    During one of my blacked out escape attempts, I fell into the river in winter and almost drowned. Dorian found me and brought me back. He stayed by my side as I recovered.

    After the near drowning, I began having hallucinations/visions of a silver fox who spoke to me and urged me to find a black pendant that supposedly was hidden in the cathedral, but no one else saw him, and my father was convinced that I was hallucinating due to fever. The hallucinations/visions persisted long after my recovery.

    At some point, my father found out that Dorian had been ex-communicated from the church. Apparently Dorian's methods were not condoned by the church. During the confrontation, my relationship to Dorian was revealed as well. Dorian was to be executed by the sword. I blacked out, and the next thing I knew, I was standing over Dorian, gripping the blade of a sword with blood running down my arms, standing between him and his would-be executioner. The execution was called off. It wasn't clear if it was out of concern for my life, or if I had scared everyone that badly. My hands were badly injured from the episode and took a long time to heal.

    Those are the clearest memories I have. I have recurring dreams of wandering the cathedral, and I wake up often feeling like I need to find Dorian urgently, like there was something important unfinished.
     
  9. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I guess you suffered from epilepsy in this PL?

    It's not easy to find someone from a past life. It's not a mental thing and you cannot direct this meeting. It will happen spontaneously or not at all. Wish you good luck.
     
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  10. Rynthae

    Rynthae New Member

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    I'm not sure (it's hard to say since there are a lot of black outs / memory gaps), but it might have been DID (formerly Multiple Personality Disorder)? Because in the black outs / memory gaps, things still happened, supposedly at my hand, I just had no recollection of them, and I was told I did not act like myself during these episodes. Thank you, I hope that things will work out somehow!
     
  11. Cat1965

    Cat1965 Senior Registered

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    Ryn were you abused as a child? It is very common with your disorder...i too searched for past life soul mates. Unfortunately, when i met one "they " had no idea. And i have yet to meet one soul in my life that has any past life memories...sadly
     
  12. Rynthae

    Rynthae New Member

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    It's.. a complicated question to answer. I don't remember all of my childhood. I know that my dad was very supportive and creative and kind, he was always an amazing dad. My mom loves us very much, but she was very troubled when we were children, and she didn't really hurt us I don't think, but she said some very painful things and acted very unpredictably.. I love her very much, and things are much better between us now, but things were a lot harder with her when I was younger.

    I hope that you will find others, don't give up hope.
     
  13. Cat1965

    Cat1965 Senior Registered

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    "I have DDNOS and am a part of a system" ....what does part of a system mean?
     
  14. Rynthae

    Rynthae New Member

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    It means there are alters/others.
     
  15. Cat1965

    Cat1965 Senior Registered

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    so my friend is a doctor in Psychiatry and he says you cannot have alters unless you suffered severe trauma...so
     
  16. Rynthae

    Rynthae New Member

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    Yeah. I'd rather not spill my whole screwed up childhood onto a reincarnation forum though, thanks, especially when I don't remember half of it. It's not very considerate to ask someone about all the gritty details of past psychological trauma. It's not something I enjoy talking about, especially with people I don't know well.
     

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