New Here and Have Questions

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Cynthia1111, Jun 26, 2019.

  1. Cynthia1111

    Cynthia1111 New Member

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    Hello everyone,

    I am new to the forum and wanted to ask a few questions regarding an experience I had when I had my youngest son seven years ago and I am hoping to get some clarity on this.

    I have always been interested in religion; particularly reincarnation, ndes and just the concept of the afterlife as a whole from early on in my life. I have been an avid reader for years, reading books by Brian Weiss, Michael Newton, Elizabeth Kubler Ross, Jim Tucker, I an Stevenson, Carol Bowman and others . This interest has always been there for some unknown reason, my upbringing didn't really immerse me into this sort of thing, until I had an experience of my own and I feel that it all makes sense now, the interest I mean.

    I guess I should start by saying that I lost my father at age 11, he was my best friend and now as an adult I realize that he was more than likely a soul mate, someone who I have shared many a lifetime with, the bond inexplicable and the love mind blowing. He died in a car accident suddenly in 1995 and the void was deep, fast forward many years and I have two wonderful kids who are my heart and soul, I am happy but I couldn't shake the emptiness that his death caused for me. One day I dream with him, we had a conversation, it was a visit and not a dream, I remember the conversation. I asked him, "why did you leave me? I love you" , he explained his reasons, "I didn't leave, I am right here and always will be". This experience changed me , I was already "spiritually awake " at this point and this just made me even more so.

    To make a long story short, the birth of my youngest son, I conceived him at a time where I wasn't menstruating, it was a shock to me, I was going through a tough time during this time and kind of lost touch with my spirituality but embraced this "miraculous" birth as a blessing in my life, he was also born with a huge tight knot on the umbilical cord, to say that the doctors face in the labor room was one of complete shock is an understatement. According to him my son had very little oxygen flowing thru, 10% and managed to survive, "this little man really wanted to be born" were his words. This little man was special, as soon as I saw him I felt a deep connection, it was different and unique.

    Fast forward two weeks after his birth and I had a dream with my father, I was standing at his funeral, I look down at my hands and clothing, this was a conscious dream, I was having thoughts in it as I am now, and I saw the same clothing I wore to his funeral, everyone was there, the same location etc. I saw him and he told me , "don't cry I never left you", this was after asking him why he left. He hugged me and I felt it, it was hard, I had a dream with him but it wasn't a dream. I started to cry and hug him, I looked down and when I looked up, he said "I will be with you again" , I asked when? I threw my arms around him once again and when we embraced and let go, he handed me my baby, he said "I did all I could to come back to you, we are together again". I woke up in a pool of tears, I looked toward the crib and he was looking right at me in the middle of the night I could see his little eyes staring, this was my confirmation that he had returned.

    Today he is 7 years old, active and overwhelming to deal with haha. I treat him the same as the rest and do not show favoritism but he owns my heart, not because of the dream but because when he hugs me I feel an immense overwhelming love, I feel his hug and it's my father's hug.

    My questions are:

    1-My dad returned as my baby but how can he be in the dream as "my dad" but also be laying in the crib next to me?

    2-The biggest one- I have severe anxieties around my son, I am traumatized and have even began to have severe panic attacks about me dying while he is a child. Could this be because he left me before?? I know this all sounds crazy, but I can not shake that, I worry that I will die and he will stay alone without me. Maybe you can help with those two questions, and I hope that you can take a minute and help me process my worry, is it unfounded and why is it happening?

    Thank you.
     
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  2. Kalos

    Kalos Senior Registered

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    Hi Cynthia,

    Welcome to the forum. I don't usually jump in every thread but I wanted to tell you that I also had a "dream" when my daughter was just a baby sleeping next to me, in which she told me about her tragic previous life and such. What touched me most in your post is the fact that in my case as well, when I woke up shaking and in tears, I turned around and she was fully awake, touching me on my shoulder and looking at me. I'm sure I've done a post about it in this forum somewhere.

    I don't know enough of this stuff but I feel people can and will travel together in soul groups oftentimes.

    As for your other question, you will die - as all of us will - when it's time. If you fear it's gonna happen prematurely it probably won't and it's like you said, just an anxiety. If you knew it would happen, you would be peaceful and settled about it. I have no proof to back what I just said but I feel that's the way it's being manifested.
     
  3. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Cynthia, I can respond to your first question as it is the same as mine five years ago. I've described it elsewhere, but it goes something like this: Our souls are packets of energy of some type that is divisible where portions of that vibrating energy (an Aspect/Spirit/Personality) are introduced into a new body. I'm thinking that these Aspect/Personalities are harmonics of the soul in a sense and capable of both adding to the soul on return via 'death' yet able to retain individuality.

    The second one is difficult. My daughter, Terri Lyn here on the forum, and I have traveled together like you and your father. I could not do as you did, I didn't treat my children the same although I tried. Fathers are different than mothers I guess, I just enjoyed having her with me and being interested in things I was doing.
     
  4. Cynthia1111

    Cynthia1111 New Member

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    Thank you for your response, it's nice to know that this has happened to others and am not alone in this. I sometimes wonder why he came back, was it love? Is there something that I need to do? My love for him runs so deep that the thought of him losing me and him hurting blasts my soul, I dont want him to suffer the loss I felt when I was a child when he first left me. I figure if it happens when he's an adult he would be able to process it better, for me at 11 it was definitely hard. I have no fear of death, he "my father" in those visits proved to me that our consciousness survives and there's no need to fear it. I am so grateful to have found this site , thanks again for your reply, means more than you know.
     
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  5. Cynthia1111

    Cynthia1111 New Member

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    So to be clear, his energy can divide and remain as the previously personality "my father" and also be within my son now? So when I pass and I meet my father, if it happens, his energy will be there and back here?

    Yes, I try to maintain it equal amongst them but it is HARD, the pull toward him is magnetic and it's not so much that I love him more rather that I feel an immense connection with him. I find myself looking at him while he's watching a movie or something while he's smiling and my heart just leaps. It's an insane feeling and hard to explain but that is my father returned, and I am happy yet I feel an immense responsibility. Why do you think he returned? Love? He wanted to be with me? Is there anything that I am meant to do as his mother?

    Thanks for the response.
     
  6. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I see that I didn't say In My Opinion, The description I gave was just how I reconciled it.
     
  7. Cynthia1111

    Cynthia1111 New Member

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    I understand , thank you.
     

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