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Discussion in 'Forum Rules and Guidelines' started by Ailish, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. Ailish

    Ailish Administrator Emerita

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    The Past Life Forum is a private forum, which is open to the public.

    In accordance with the Bowmans' wishes, we do not allow advertising or promotion of any kind, for any products or services, as stated in the Forum Posting Guidelines. Posts deemed to be self-promotion, advertising, or spam can and will be removed by the moderation team, without warning to the poster. This also includes signature links.

    No self-promotion please. Making excessive, inappropriate and unnecessary references to your products and websites is considered self-promotion. References will be removed without warning to the poster.
     
  2. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    We do not allow solicitations from TV producers or the media.

    It has come to our attention they are at it again.

    If someone contacts you through the forum PLEASE forward the email or PM directly to Carol, myself or Tinkerman. We can stop them from the control panel. But you have to alert us. We want to protect our members and keep this a safe place from fishing for cases.
     
  3. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Please take note.....we want this to be a safe place.
     
  4. hydrolad

    hydrolad Senior Moderator Super Moderator

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    A Safe Place


    Before I retired, my local area had a program (and maybe elsewhere) called “Safe Place”, where minors could go for refuge and safety.


    The public (and private) buildings were identified by a large Yellow placard and “at risk” children could find sanctuary there (Church’s, Fire and Police stations, and so on).


    The term “Safe Place” has many meanings and for us, it has a special meaning too, a place where Adults and Children can safely (and without ridicule) discuss Past Lives and Reincarnation.
     
  5. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    We have that in my area, mainly fire stations. I think they chose fire stations because there is usually someone there 24/7 (unless it's unmanned due to budget cuts :( ).


    And yes it's nice to have a safe place to discuss past lives without people looking at you strange.
     
  6. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    I think a lot of us need anonymity to post. I know that I do. I would never be able to be open and honest if I were using my own name. I'm glad this is a safe place, for all of us.
     
  7. Steve

    Steve Grand Poobah

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    Our "safe place" policy is becoming even more important, and more necessary to enforce strictly, as the media is waking up to the money-making, audience-building potential of children's past life memories. I think the Leininger book had a lot to do with it.


    We know of more and more TV producers and reporters who are trolling this Forum for cases. The ones with integrity will email Carol or the Forum Moderators and ask for permission (usually about a specific case). The less scrupulous ones contact posters directly if they can. We also know of cases where banned reporters/producers/researchers came back under a different name, or sent an agent to continue the trolling.


    The same goes for researchers--academics and authors who also are desperate for new cases.


    We expect these "attacks" (feels a lot like hacker attacks on the firewall of a website) will accelerate. Our response is to be ever more vigilant. The Moderators know what to do. We ask that Members help the Moderators by flagging any sign of trolling, or any inappropriate approaches to our members.


    You should know that our first response to trollers is to remind them politely and nicely of our policies and request they stop. We aren't nasty about it. But if they persist to ignore our warnings, then we get nasty and block IP addresses.


    When there are extraordinary cases of a child remembering a past life, and the parents are open to the possibility of sharing their details publicly, then Carol will get involved. She knows how to vet the cases (we've had fakes try to get by us in the past). Most importantly, she knows how to counsel the parents and advise them on what to do. The well-being of the child is always her first concern. Any exchanges with Carol are kept confidential unless and until the parents see a reason to go public. (Believe me, there are some amazing cases better than the Leiningers that Carol has worked with that will never be made public, at the request of the families.)


    I would love to see comments and discussion on this issue. Carol and I take it very seriously. We intend for this Forum to be a safe place for parents to share, ask questions, get advice without any intrusion from anybody (except for Members joining in the process within the threads). That was the original intent of the Forum in 1997, and remains so today.


    Thank you,


    Steve
     
  8. Totoro

    Totoro Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    At least from me, I don't have anything to add because I couldn't agree more.


    The most important thing here is to maintain the integrity and dignity of our forum, its members and the topic of reincarnation as a whole. To that end, your policies and sensitivity to the concerns I've mentioned as well as the quality and dedication of the staff and membership here are all working to prevent the mishandling of reincarnation cases. And in my mind, there's never a bad time to reconfirm that dedication.


    By the by, I've been noticing more reincarnation related things turning up on my facebook feed and perhaps that's some sort of barometer. So I think it's getting visibility from somewhere and I think now, more than ever, it's imperative to keep it from becoming a media side show.
     
  9. Mama2HRB

    Mama2HRB Senior member Staff Member

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    To me it is even more important to keep the hecklers out. As the visibility of reincarnation increases so do the number of skeptics. The skeptics I have seen posting elsewhere on the web are not kind at all and the last thing someone who is trying to help their child with past life memories needs is being heckled and tormented.


    This forum was a godsend to me years ago and continues to be. I try to pay it forward and love when Carol steps in to help those who really need more than the posters can give.


    Thank you for keeping this place a safe haven for all who post here.


    I don't necessarily think it is a good idea to out a child because of the way kids are today. Anyone who is slightly different or believes slightly different from the norm can easily become a target for bullies.


    I have been contacted several times because of my posts here. I have refused because that decision is not mine to make. I hope other parents realize the life involved is their child's, not theirs.


    Just my humble opinion ...


    P.S. Thank you Steve, for being a great Grand Poobah. I know you, too, do much to keep this community going and safe and you probably don't get much recognition for it .
     
  10. shadowsofmypast

    shadowsofmypast Senior Registered

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    Nobody will use my story for movie


    but me. If I choose to go that route,


    someday.
     
  11. Steve

    Steve Grand Poobah

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    Mama2 -- good point. "Safe" means safe from hecklers and bullies as well. Of course it's a judgment call--what's a heckle and what's healthy skepticism? But I'm sure regular Members like you, and the mods, know the difference and know how to handle it.


    So I'm all in favor of adding hecklers and bullies to the policy language (where do we put that?) that specifies how we keep this a safe place.


    I think we all know the goal: we want parents with questions to be able to come here and get information, support, and answers to their questions in a civil supportive, environment.


    A secondary purpose is to provide a space for people to share and debate questions of reincarnation--but still in a civil environment. Reasoned skepticism and genuine doubt is welcome. Yelling and name calling is not.


    And I'll make sure Carol sees your appreciation for her occasional contributions. She likes to take on the really difficult questions--she knows that there's nobody else, anywhere, who can help some of these people with exceptional or unusual cases. She also learns new wrinkles of the past life phenomenon each time she does.


    At the same time, most people come here asking about with what we might call "standard" past-life memories and they ask the standard questions that Carol has answered hundreds of time. She doesn't have the time to help everybody--that's what the books and her website do. And most importantly, that's what members and mods do here on a daily basis. We both really appreciate and admire you for doing that. That's when the Forum is at it's best!


    To shadowsofmypast: exactly!


    Steve
     
  12. hydrolad

    hydrolad Senior Moderator Super Moderator

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    Yes, I agree thoroughly, we have to get past the initial shyness and hesitation of some new members before a useful discussion between members can take place on this Forum.


    Then, and only then, can a meaningful dialogue take place with the right topic at hand, with lively, but extremely polite members and top line and fair moderators (for which we have).


    Then we can continue to be one of the top forums in discussions related to Past Life and Reincarnation.
     
  13. Twilight

    Twilight Senior Registered

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    I most appreciate the security ^_^
     
  14. Mama2HRB

    Mama2HRB Senior member Staff Member

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    Steve


    I do enjoy helping parents with what I can. It is my way of paying it forward for what everyone did for me here when my daughter started. It was a scary world for me then which, thanks in great part to the amazing people here, quickly turned into fascination.


    I can tell you that each group who comes onto the site contacts me because our experiences can be backed up with historical evidence. I have turned down the offers each time because, as I said before, it is not my tale to tell.


    Her story will be told but certainly not in a way that sensationalizes her memories, or the memories of several other relatives that match hers.


    In the meantime it is a pleasure to help the parents who are going thru what I have and to let them know there really is a light at the other end of the tunnel.


    Bullies are certainly an issue. I had a PM from a poster here that was a part of one of the shows and became a target of bullies after the show aired. Sadly, once that cat is out of the bag there is no way to put it back in.


    I have long felt that we are each put here on earth to help others when we can. That is what I try to do. I know there is one case where I helped provide a name for a child's memories and helped him know it was all real. That makes me very proud.


    I can only imagine how Carol feels when she is able to help those most in need.


    Sometimes we get to be God's Angels here on earth. :angel:


    Thank you for providing a safe haven for everyone dealing with this fascinating and sometimes scary subject. Together we can truly make a difference.
     
  15. shadowsofmypast

    shadowsofmypast Senior Registered

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    I do appreciate the privacy as well, being on here.


    I feel safe here.
     
  16. firebird

    firebird Registered User

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    Hi Steve,


    Despite the forum policy, you won't be able to stop people from approaching others - they will always find a way if they so choose, as you know from experience. Those who don't want anything to do with it are free to politely or strongly decline ... surely. Those who do want to publicise their case will say yes - how do you stop this, as presumably their hand is not being forced to do anything; and as adults most ought to know the consequences of any publicity should 'they' choose to go down that route.


    I'm just not sure that there is anything you can do to prevent this.


    When you/the moderators speak about keeping this a "safe" forum, I have to say that I don't think of unsolicited approaches as falling under that banner .... to me, "safe" means a forum that is free from personal attacks and trolls, and a place that is fairly moderated ... which it is, the majority of the time. An unsolicited approach would be similar to junk mail or unsolicited phone calls and door knocks from salesmen (which are easy to deal with - throw away the mail, or hang up and close the door if there is no interest). There's a law here by the way to stop salesmen from knocking on your door if you have door sign requesting them not too, but still they do it!

    I'm sure that's true ... and the world extends far beyond the borders of this forum, and also help for anyone who seeks it. I also know of many adult cases, not publicised, that are far more compelling and interesting than the Leininger case. And, I can also understand why some people may never want to publicise their case.
     
  17. GreenFace

    GreenFace New Member

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  18. Steve

    Steve Grand Poobah

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    Firebird, you're correct that we can't stop unsolicited solicitations altogether. We discourage it, and retain the right to ban any person doing the soliciting who flouts our rules and does it repeatedly. We want to make it hard to get away with. And make it easy for anybody who is bothered to get help enforcing the rule.


    That said, if a Member wants to talk to TV producers or researchers, that's their right. But we hope it's the exception, not the rule. We don't want TV people to see our Forum as easy pickings. We want them to leave our Members alone, as much as possible.


    There are two additional reasons why we discourage our Forum becoming a ready resources for reporters and TV producers.

    1) It can be harmful to the families/kids involved. Carol knows all too well how these producers act (and they're pretty consistent!). They say anything to get cases and material. They're driven by business pressures to fill up their program. Despite what they might say, they don't really care about what the families/kids are going through.


    If Carol is involved, she knows how to handle the producers, when to trust them and when not, and the danger signs. Families doing this on their own are babes in the woods.


    2) TV producers--anybody publishing these cases for the sensationalist value--will make a big deal out of very flimsy, questionable cases. Carol has seen thousands of cases over the years, and she knows a real one when she sees it. TV producers do not.


    The long-term effect is that the whole field of past life research gets polluted with these questionable cases. What p'sses her off most is when the segment is finally aired on TV, they almost always play up the scary, weird aspects, making it look like the kid is possessed, the parents are crazy, that past life memories are dangerous and will scar the kid for life--all untrue. But it makes for good ratings. The family is never privy to what the segment will look like until they see it broadcast, and they have absolutely no control over it.

    I think, in addition to our best efforts to enforce our no-solicitation policy, we should all be alert to these dangers and discuss them openly (when appropriate). If a family wants to try the TV route, fine. But it's our responsibility to help them go in with open eyes, armed with lessons from our collective experience. We're an educational support forum, so that's within our charter.


    There is a positive side to this whole question. Carol and I would love to see more solid cases of children's past life memories be properly explained and broadcast, without the scary sensationalism. She spends a lot of time (all unpaid!) helping families and, in the most extraordinary cases, ushers them to responsible media. For example, she was the first person outside the Leininger family to counsel the Leiningers (starting in 2001), she advised them all the way, she introduced them to her literary agent, she got them on ABC Primetime. Nobody would have ever heard about it if it weren't for her involvement (and James would still be having the nightmares). Now it's the leading case out there--the case that's fueling all this new interest from TV shows.


    (Carol just put up a new video of interviews with the Leiningers on her FaceBook page (Carol Bowman Past Lives) and blog. www.CarolBowman.com/blog. )


    Steve
     
  19. firebird

    firebird Registered User

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    @Steve


    Carol and I would love to see more solid cases of children's past life memories be properly explained and broadcast, without the scary sensationalism.


    I would love to see more solid cases broadcast of ADULT’S past life memories which are ‘properly’ and ‘fully’ researched and validated against historical evidence.


    She spends a lot of time (all unpaid!) helping families and, in the most extraordinary cases, ushers them to responsible media.


    That’s very admirable. Some ‘practitioners’ working in this field today are too driven by the big $ (offering their services at kidney donation prices), or they are seemingly so busy they are unable to return a simple phone call. I also know of others who spend a lot of their time helping individuals for free.


    It can be harmful to the families/kids involved. Carol knows all too well how these producers act (and they're pretty consistent!). They say anything to get cases and material. They're driven by business pressures to fill up their program. Despite what they might say, they don't really care about what the families/kids are going through.


    The family is never privy to what the segment will look like until they see it broadcast, and they have absolutely no control over it.


    Just speaking openly about reincarnation period can attract unexpected negativity from others (and sometimes from those we least expect it).


    It’s also the era of sound bites and instant news (i.e. less care and research by many because time is money, and money is what drives some people). With the www, one would think most people (esp. adults) are very aware of how the media operates. As a first priority every parent has a duty of care to protect the child. If the parents are thinking of publicising because their case is extraordinary and possibly of some interest to the general public, they should do so with great thought and research before jumping in, however they choose to do it.



    When it’s all said and done though, you won’t be able to stop ‘some’ people from dealing directly with the media who do come in and flaunt the rules in this forum ... and if it does go pear-shaped for these people, then they would mostly have themselves to blame. You are not responsible for the poor decisions that these parents make. You can only do so much ... but, if If you are really concerned about this, then why not a sticky note in the children’s section of the forum detailing your concerns?



    2) TV producers--anybody publishing these cases for the sensationalist value--will make a big deal out of very flimsy, questionable cases.


    Sure .... but making a big deal of nothing isn’t something I associate with just t.v. producers. In any case, I personally don’t think t.v. is always the best medium for getting 'some' of these stories out there.
     
  20. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    I've been horrified to find my stories about being semi-famous people come up as "google listings", right under entries about historical research. Others with similar situations need to be aware that "bots" scavenge the forum for names of note. The only comfort in this is that the forum protects our identities.
     

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