Of relatives and executioners

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by AlexD, Feb 21, 2017.

  1. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    May God have mercy of my soul, for all I want is to be free from her influence and close this chapter of my existence once and for all.
     
  2. Jim78

    Jim78 Active Member

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    I understand Alex. I dunno why I had to have a sociopathic mother. All I know is that if I hadn't had one I wouldn't have the life's journey I've had. I've learned so much. I only hope that's the purpose to it all.
     
  3. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    I want to save my friend, this is the main reason why I'm here, at least I suppose so. We go way back, we've known each other long before our days on the Vladeasa. I still don't know how we'll make it, but I've been doing my best and I plan on continuing doing so.

    Also, it might be off topic, but intoxicating yourself won't solve much. I know it sounds obvious and you've probably heard it from many. My so-called father is alcoholic and, believe me, it really does f**k your brain up after some time. So, please, you have to quit. I hope that confronting your experiences on this forum can be of help to you, as it has been of help to me so far.
     
  4. Jim78

    Jim78 Active Member

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    All one can do is their best Alex. I wish you luck. :)

    Getting drunk is all I have left Alex. 8 years ago I walked down the road, met a woman and fell in love. I used all my powers to protect her from a very powerful sociopath. Then I found myself up against other sociopaths, a man with nothing fighting the powerful and winning. Then I realised my fight would affect everyone everywhere so I stopped fighting for a greater good. Then I find out I was one of the greatest military minds in history...a 'hero' and that in Gods eyes I was just perpetuating evil. I realised I was always wrong. I gave up being with my love in the best interests of humanity. I gave up everything. Now I have severe PTSD from all my current and past life memories. I have no love in my life and I have no way of escaping my mind. My minds always geared for combat even though I know now its not what God wants from me. The only way I have of escaping from it all is having at least 6 or 7 beers. I don't like it. I wish I was able to be like I was before all of this happened and I can't talk about it to anyone because they don't believe in reincarnation. Even worse...because my past lives are FPLs I have an even smaller group of people who might listen to me than your average reincarnationist. I never liked being tied to anything but I find my anxiety and sheer blind terror of the men I've been dissipates after a few drinks. Its not ideal but its the best I can muster for now. I'm hoping something on this forum clicks with me deeply enough that I can see a way forward instead of standing still. Thanks for your concern though.
     
  5. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    I'm sorry to read that, Jim. Your situation sounds as much complex as mine, at least from my point of view. I am still grieving for my love, never been able to build a relationship because of all the trauma that I had buried within.
    I've been a rebel ever since I existed. I have such old memories of my first years of existence, and I'm aware that my actions caused huge consequences. But even after aeons from then, I regret nothing. Even now, though I've led a relatively quiet life, it still is a form of resistence, to keep my integrity.
    I hope you can find your way to inner peace. Keep on looking for answers, and some day you may just find them.
     
  6. Jim78

    Jim78 Active Member

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    I'm sorry for your grief and trauma Alex.

    I've been a rebel also. I rebelled against God a week before I had my first past life flashbacks so I'm really worried to think that that was Gods way of saying "You rebelled against me?! Here's hell for you." I've never been terrified before in my existence that I can remember. In battles I would see terror on the faces of some men and I would wonder why they were so scared. Now that I've felt real terror for myself I finally understand.

    I'm glad you feel resisting is a way of keeping you integrity but I'm not so sure anymore that that way of thinking is a positive thing. I just don't know anymore.
     

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