Past Life Dreams- Spouse and Me- Slave and Ballerina!

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Mrs. Golightly, Jan 2, 2019.

  1. Mrs. Golightly

    Mrs. Golightly Member

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    Hello Everyone,

    So glad I found this site as I have been pondering these very vivid sequences of dreams that I have had in recent years about both my and my husband's past lives. These dreams show up as extremely vivid still 'frame- like photos' that feel important and profound to pay attention to, and I never forget the details of these as I often can with other dreams.

    Well here goes....

    I saw that I was a ballerina possibly in a European city around the turn of the last century-1900's. I saw a ballet studio and the walls were very dirty which I later figured out signified significant negative karma that I created in that lifetime. Before these dreams appeared, people have commented over the years that they thought I was a dancer, and I thought that was odd as I am not one. My husband said this too when he first met me commenting that I move around very fluidly. Someone at a gym once came up to me and said, "You have got to be a dancer, right?"

    After the dirty ballet studio dream, I later dreamed another 'dream photo' of a very stern, cold, angry woman with a child around 8-10 years old. We were in a big city in the early 1900's and it was very cold there. The child appeared unhealthy with some sort of cognitive or developmental disability. In the scene with my child looking up at me, I strongly felt the child's intense humiliation, fear, and shame coming from my complete rejection of her. As an accomplished ballerina, I was addicted and overly attached to perfection believing perfection in my life and with ballet was the only sure way to survive in the world, and I could not accept this imperfect child. My little girl could never do right in my eyes , and I very much withheld love, nurturing, and warmth from her. I deeply resented and strongly rejected her, and I have really sobbed a few times feeling from the dream how much I emotionally hurt my rejected, frightened child.

    In my very next lifetime, I came back as a severely disabled girl with three or four attractive sisters and parents who were extremely rejecting and abusive to me. I have gotten two dream snapshots from that lifetime as well which took place in the 1940's -1950's. I was much more severely disabled than my child in my previous lifetime as I could not walk and my legs were very mangled. My father absolutely could not accept having a disabled child, and he intensely hated me. He was very ashamed of me, and I was a tremendous burden on the family. My mother also resented me for all of the tension I caused in her marriage. There was physical abuse in that lifetime, and I think I may have been smothered to death in that lifetime as well.

    I later had a Kundalini healing (felt like a freight train ran up my spine and then weeks of intense healing and purging took place...VERY DIFFICULT to go through but VERY transformational and healing), and felt the sensation of being smothered come up for healing. It was a deep traumatic memory that came to the surface, and I sensed that it was from that lifetime. The intense fear of my abusive father in the 'dream shots' were an exact match to the fears coming to the surface with the Kundalini healing. This gasping excess air came up simultaneously to my regular breath. There were two streams of breath happening at once- my regular breath and this excess terrified panicked air or breath of being smothered- happening simultaneously at the same time.

    Also, the first week or two into the Kundalini healing, I cried and sobbed buckets and buckets of tears releasing in part a lot of deep stored pain from those two past lifetimes that were still with me. I can see how part of it felt like releasing remorse and grief for my rejected child and then part of it for all the pain I went through in my last lifetime and the carryover of it into this lifetime. These emotional releases involved a lot of intense heat showing up in my body as the old emotions and memories were being burned off. Lots of accompanying aches and pains came up too especially from back and legs as if dormant past injuries, physical trauma, or latent illnesses were coming up to the surface to be cleared and healed. After about two months into the Kundalini healing, I felt MUCH lighter, healthier, peaceful, and better with all of this past accumulation having been dissolved and cleared away.

    Anyway, the dreams match strong emotions and patterns from this lifetime. Starting when I was a child, I had a irrational dislike and shame of my legs even though my legs looked and functioned normally. My mom said they were crooked as a baby, but they straightened out later as a young child. The doctor noticed it too when I was a baby, and told my mom that I may have to have leg braces someday. I had for many years felt an irrational feeling that my legs should be covered up and hidden which matches up to the shame I must have felt for having disabled legs in my last lifetime.

    Despite being born to VERY loving and accepting parents in this life, I also had a VERY intense fear of rejection, criticism, and making people mad from a very young age. I felt people were somehow in power over me and that I must please them at all costs. This very much matches the fears accumulated from my past life from being rejected and despised by my family, and not upsetting them for my very survival. My child from my ballerina life must have felt this with me as well.

    Whew...so those were my past two lives. I haven't gotten any dreams about lives before the ballerina life. Definitely some tough karma or lessons I brought on myself in the ballerina lifetime!

    Now onto my spouse whom I think was a slave in the mid-1800's in the South. I have vividly dreamed of him with his children trapped in a very dark cabin with no windows in a dried out tobacco field living in abject poverty. Symbolism from those dreams have uncannily shown up in his current life especially as related to some of his family members. His family home now has the same dead vegetation all around it that is seen in the cabin dream. There are also wood boards coming up through a family member's kitchen where the kitchen flooring has come up that looks exactly like the wood floors in the cabin dream. It strikes me as odd and uncanny as this person would have the money to fix these floors, but has allowed the floors to get worse and worse over the years as more of the kitchen floor peels away and the wood beams show through.

    After that life, I saw that he was a black man living in a very small humble home in the South possibly in the 1920's -1930's trying to recover and acclimate from such a traumatic previous life as a slave. He was very quiet and reclusive, but made a living to support himself in this very small home. Following that life, I saw that he was a hippy in the 60's with some struggles and he died relatively young in that lifetime. His essence as the hippy felt very similar to the quiet man in the previous dream living in the small house.

    These men in these 'dream snapshots' feel so much like puzzle piece parts of who he is, and the sequence of the three people- ...slave...man in the 1920's...hippy in mid-'60's...- just feel like this organic unfolding leading to who he is in this lifetime. It all REALLY fits, and I can strongly feel the spirit of him in these 'dream shots'. My sense is that a karmic debt is still being paid back to him in this lifetime with some in his family having strong karmic ties to each other going back to the slavery lifetime.

    Imagery and symbolism from the dream snapshots of him are uncannily present in aspects of his and some of his family members' lives today. There is one relative who is VERY MUCH stuck or trapped in life due in part to physical limitations and other limiting issues. This person very vividly showed up in one of the slavery dreams in a specific context showing me the dynamic that is now being played out between the two of them in this lifetime. Conversely, a HUGE aspect or theme of my spouse's life in this lifetime has been freedom. He has traveled all over the world and also spent many years in his youth following the Grateful Dead around on tour starting at age 14 (going right back to that life in the sixties :) -picking up where he left off a bit.). Two people in the same family with VERY different realities of one having very little freedom and the other having a lot of freedom in life.

    Seeing our past lives in these dreams has allowed me to have more compassion and love, and better understand both of our patterns, tendencies, and behaviors. It has taught me to withhold judgements as I really do not know what is going on with others at deeper levels with their soul's unique journey. The dreams have also allowed me to have more compassion and forgiveness for myself and others knowing how difficult and painful the journey of the soul can be at times.

    Well that's it for now! I hope that made sense. Thank you for reading!
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2019
  2. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi @Mrs. Golightly

    Welcome to the forum.

    I've read your stories with great interest. I am a 'kundalini girl' as well. I use to call it the Kundalini Experience, you call it the Healing. Quite interesting, because it works like that. And it never goes away, so maybe another time I would like to talk to you how you manage these energies after the initial firestorms in daily life.
    I find it also interesting why it was you who dreamt the former lives of your husband. You both must have a great Connection in order to let that happen, especially because I think those lives of yours didn't intertwine in the past (or perhaps they did).
     
  3. Mrs. Golightly

    Mrs. Golightly Member

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    Yes, I think you're right that my husband and I didn't have a past life connection or at least one that I am aware of. I have wondered if my mom was my daughter in the ballerina life because her energy did feel familiar to me like my mom's. My mother is interestingly enough someone who is extremely compassionate to and championing of the underdog. She drummed it into us kids to be happy with making B's and C's. She thought C's were very good lol and the important thing was just to be happy . This was her mantra. She was very attuned to and sensitive to pushing any of her kids too hard or in any way oppressing them with high expectations as she felt her father had done to her.

    Her father went to Harvard Law and also served two terms in World War II. My mom said she felt deeply rejected by him because she was an average student, and felt that he only valued his academically high achieving other children. She said that she thought that he thought that she was stupid and worthless. So for whatever reason for her soul evolution, she potentially may have been my child in the ballerina lifetime and then his child which would all make sense that she would end up evolving into this extremely compassionate person to the unfortunate or underdog. She is almost anti-high achievement in her attitude.

    Maybe she was out of balance with being too much of a rigid, perfectionist herself prior to being my child, and she came in on the receiving end of that as my child. Now, her beliefs and attitudes surrounding achievement have swung in the other direction.

    Interesting to note that my little brother born a year and a half after her father died ended up whizzing through a two year stint in the military and then a top Ivy League law school. He seemed to do this with his eyes closed. I've wondered if my brother is my grandfather with how my grandfather went to Harvard Law and also was in the military.

    Yes, my Kundalini experience or healing was very much all about clearing and healing accumulated stuff- memories, emotions, stored pain, latent disease/illness/wounds- versus the intensely blissful experiences (seeing colors, lights, everything looks beautiful) I have read that other people can have with it. It was a beautiful experience in that so much healing took place, and there was some bliss and peace, but, boy, was it tough going through. It was a lot of stewing in my own juices, so to speak, with so much coming up to the surface for release and healing. I have read about Ayahuasca experiences and that process of pain, memories, trauma coming to the surface for release really parallels a lot of what happened to me with the Kundalini healing. It just spontaneously happened to me- I didn't do anything to try and make it happen and did not know much at all about it.

    It was VERY intense and even frightening for about 6 weeks, and then slowly and gradually over the next 3-4 months, the energy settled down. A lot of the fright was from the actual frightening past memories/traumas and so I filtered the Kundalini healing through all of that fear. It was tough to separate the two. It was also a process of shattering the ego which feels like a death of sorts and that is very disorienting and frightening. Ayahuasca sounds like a very similar process based on the accounts that I have read. The hardest part was surrendering and trusting the process. It was so powerful that I worried that I would end up damaged or hurt somehow.

    In fact, it was so terrifying that first week that I bought a plane ticket to try and get back home to my parents' house because my husband was out of town. I could not be alone any longer, but could not get myself to walk into the airport. I was terrified I would just have a complete meltdown and so I drove back home. I talked to my dad on the phone and he told me to go the hospital and so I did. I was terrified that I would go crazy, and then my husband came home early from his business trip obviously very alarmed. I then could at least minimally function and get through the days knowing he would be home in the evenings as I worked through the initial powerful energy of this Kundalini. The hospital gave me Ambien as I had not slept in days and even this powerful medication was not putting me to sleep which completely terrified me. The inability to sleep went on for weeks which was one of the hardest things about this healing to deal with. Prior to Kundalini which took place on June 22, 2017 at 3 am, I had ALWAYS been a VERY SOUND sleeper and had never ever taken meds except for the occasional Tylenol here and there. Now, my body was not responding to medications and that was very scary realizing that the physical organism of my body was being overpowered by something else. My body was completely electrified with Kundalini!

    I figured out some ways that helped me to ground the intense energy- exercise, walking on the ground barefoot, standing in rivers-especially during the first few weeks when I felt so electrified with the Kundalini energies bringing so much up to the surface. One or two of the past life dreams happened during this time- I can't remember now which ones specifically. Certain things can get the energies going again, but not nearly to the extent of those first few weeks. For the most part, I've settled back into a more manageable steady energy level. Thank goodness!!

    I did specifically ask for insight into my husband's past lives and then within a short time, I began having the very vivid dreams about him. Thanks for the welcome to the forum, and yes we can communicate more about Kundalini if you have any questions about my experience with it! Please feel free to message me on here! There is also a good bit of info online about it, and it seems people's experiences can really vary widely with it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2019
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