Past life lover in spirit?

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Shiriya, Jul 8, 2018.

  1. Shiriya

    Shiriya Member

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    As I type this, I'm not exactly in my right frame of mind, but I thought I'd just get all of this off my chest to share a memory I saw through a dream possibly..correlating to a twin flame connection? At first I wasn't too sure about this as I'm a skeptic when it comes to stuff like this, but have had few close kindred souls point out it seemed like it and read some helpful articles helping me verify sensations I've felt sensing a certain, particular spirit of a man I knew since before incarnating in this life. Anyway, here's a written entry of what I remember since seeing it a few years ago. Pardon if it sounds a bit explicit at parts.

    Basically it took place in a dimly lit, japanese styled room which was small in size. The only light came from a single paper lamp in the furthest part of the room by the entrance. I'm pretty sure it was some room that I and the man I was with rented. I got the feeling we both were on the move or traveling,...I don't know. I saw through a woman's eyes in first person though saw how she looked through his eyes I believe. Strangely, she had light blue eyes even though she looked japanese, long silky black hair, pale skin, and wore a pink kimono with flower prints (forgot what flower it was though). Sitting across from me was the man I was with. He had much tanner skin compared to my pale complexion, had long back hair with front sides of his hair tied back with the rest down, sharp eyes, thick dark brows, and a beard. The man was clad in what appeared to be dark blue korean "warrior" attire but with a mix of japanese armor plating and wore a navy blue headband most korean guards did at the time. I don't know if I could describe his armor well aside from that. He was sitting against the wall from the opposite side across from where she sat, staring at her intently. I can recall how embarrassed and flustered she felt, even how hot and warm her face was trying to avoid staring back at him. Haha, she felt so shy she turned her head to the mat floor. Just before she could however, he quickly leaned in, lifting her chin up and kissed her. In that instant it felt like time stopped. Feeling their lips make contact, I felt her eyes widen and the initial shock she felt, shivers coursing throughout her body. I could even feel how the strands of his beard tickled her face. The dream shifted showing what happened a while after, where she lost her virginity to him but only saw a few glimpses of...well, for the lack of a better term the position the two situated themselves in.
    Strangely, I was only shown how his nose and waist down looked. Even in first person when he leaned in for the kiss, his face was a blurred out a tad but I could still make out some of his features...I wonder why. During times regressing, sometimes I'd hear something someone was saying then get muffled out so I assume I'm not supposed to see how he looked at the time in the memory. Sometimes thinking about this dream, I hear these in my head: "aitakute" or "aitai". ("I want to see you.", "I miss you." in japanese)

    I'm tearing up just thinking about how much and how long I've missed his touch. I don't know why I'm even getting like this, I feel ridiculous and crazy feeling this yearning even though I know I'm not alone with others going through the same thing...It just feels like my soul is searching for something that isn't here..at least in this world. It just makes me sad, even though I'm still young with many opportunities out there regarding love. I've been told by someone who claims they're a psychic empath that I'm lonely, and I think the strong feelings of this memory could be one of the main reasons why. I have a feeling that man's spirit has been watching over and visiting me sometimes letting me know he's there (which has been going on for a good 5 years since first finding out about past lives). I've been skeptical, but have felt his presence and warmth reassuring me with affection. During a dark time in my life trying to cope with feelings missing him, he even visited in a dream where I saw him staring at me with a very sad, worried look in his eyes before pulling me close for a deep kiss.

    God...I guess a part of me just couldn't handle or wanted to accept knowing I've reincarnated with him staying on the other side. I just feel so lonely here, even though life has been going well for me lately with some accomplishments made. Even while typing this, I received a glimpse of seeing that woman and the man gazing at each other upon stone steps leading up to some shrine or temple. At moments like this, I yearn for that time and to visit Japan. Whenever I feel the emotions the memory brings, I just feel helpless. I don't know how to cope with these feelings...
     
  2. Tinkerman

    Tinkerman Administrator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hello Shiriya, what a beautiful heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing it. I too came to this forum for very similar reasons, the haunting a powerful dream of a love from another time. And I too was very sad and lonely over it; that was almost fifteen years ago. So what have I learned in that time? Well, first I learned to never give up. Even when those in my close personal life tried to distract and dissuade me I hung on to the memory of this other soul. I studied everything I could on the twin soul theory. Many people, some on here, tried to dispel the twin soul concept, labeling it duality and other words that fit their need to belittle it. But I hung on, I was a believer! So I would say to you hang on to him, open your heart, soul, and mind to him. Synchronicity has a way of finding twin souls, look for them. I read a book by Patricia Jourdrey several years ago entitled Twin Souls, I remember really liking it, perhaps you might also.
    I wrote very similar words on this forum fifteen years ago. If your soul is reaching out into the world like this, there is a reason. I'll bet "it" is here... somewhere. I find great numinous joy in those days of sorrow and sadness, a paradox yes, but a lesson and an epic tale of great love. You may read my story if you like, it's back on the dusty shelves, it's simply called A Police Sergeant's Memory (I think), I'll go dig it up for you. Hopefully it will give you some glimpse of hope in that you are not alone.

    Blessings ~Tman
     
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  3. Shiriya

    Shiriya Member

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    I'm curious, how did you keep holding on to this soul with distractions in your personal life? Do you mean you turned down opportunities having relationships with potential partners/people interested in you? And have you met that soul yet?

    And thank you so much for sharing your experience and giving much needed reassurance, Tinkerman! :D I'm so grateful knowing someone else on here has gone through the same! :( Every night I can't help cry while listening to songs that remind me of him, hell, I've even shedded tears not long ago. ...Do you really think there could be a reason...for souls like ours to feel this yearning even though everything in life is fine and dandy filled with many blessings? It really makes me wonder what that reason could be.

    I guess the only thing I can do is to try being open while working on myself. Still, it pains me his spirit is on the other side and well,..not physically here with me. He's watching over something for me until I "come back" after dying in this life. Maybe I should just...ugh I don't know,...should I still think of keeping myself open to him or move on? I really feel stuck and conflicted when it comes to thinking of this past love and the possibility of new relationships in this life, as I don't know what to do with these yearning feelings and never met anyone aside from you who experienced this. It could just be me overthinking and worrying and not looking at the bigger picture to simply be open to give a chance to believe, lol.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2018
  4. Spirit Sword

    Spirit Sword Senior Registered

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    Perhaps there is a reason you were supposed to remember this. It might even be as simple as you needed to have a reason to chase down past life research.

    Maybe there was no reason. This might just be an unresolved part of your past that your soul is hanging onto. There may be ways to resolve this in this lifetime, or you might have to wait. I have waited over eight hundred years to reunite with an old lover. Waiting and yearning might just be a part of the cycle. But you are by no means alone.
     
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  5. pariah_autist

    pariah_autist 1st life: gerbil

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    Perhaps your visions of this man are visions from the past life where you remember your souls related but you have yet to meet him in this life?

    I met a man I swear was in my most vivid past life dream, it was a completely random chance encounter when I was not expecting it, also in a time in my life when I was in turmoil over a recent situation that ended me suicidal in a mental hospital... It blew me away at the time and I was not mentally prepared to deal with it at all because of my past and mental illness... But the man had a healing effect on me with his touch in ways I cannot explain, but there was too much emotional/sexual tension, confusion and lack of communication, I could not handle... I "ran" from the situation and have not seen him in 4 years...

    Perhaps you will find this man so long as you keep the dream/visions in your convictions in your heart about him....
    Before with the dream, and after meeting this guy, I always kept my convictions about him, despite the meds I was put back on screwing up my heart and mind... However it seems the connection is lost and no closure... And remains a mystery... And seeking him out and chasing him would be wrong... Even obsessive or creepy of me.... This guy is alive, obligated to his own reality, and maybe doesn't even care about me anymore, as much as I did...Maybe he didn't even feel the way I did romantically for him, maybe he was just a really nice flirty guy and I made too many assumptions cause of my autism and couldn't just ask him why he was so flirty with me and why he said certain things.... Who knows....
    Just don't do what I did and blow your chances with keeping the connection... I blew my chance by not at least asking him to stay my friend and keep contact... And I blew it by not saying goodbye before I quit the job...
    I lost my connection because I am too mentally unstable and I did not deserve him.......

    I hope your past life dream guy when you do find him is single and available and accepting for the connection, and that the romantic connection is stable with good communications....

    On another note btw I also remember having a vague dream in a Japanese house in feudal era, that era and Japanese feudal culture resonates with me a lot too... I think perhaps I have been an outcast wanderer in many lives, looking for special soul mates to take me in from the cold...:)
     
  6. Shiriya

    Shiriya Member

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    Thank you so much for your beautiful, heartfelt post. :D:p Perhaps...but who knows. I know that I don't know myself whether I may meet someone representing his spirit on the other side physically here or if I never will in this life, so the only thing I can do is..well, just keep doing my own thing while hanging on to the one memory of him.

    I'm sure if he flirted with you, it's plausible he's felt something for you too. And you never know, Pariah! It's still never too late in life because just maybe, you'll stumble upon him again in the future. There was a reason you both met in this life and are still alive breathing, afterall. If your soul still yearns for him, I suggest you try getting back in touch with him if you know any means to.

    And aww...thank you so much. *Hugs* I can only hope, haha. But for now will work on my own life til then...if he is out there.

    Oh really? I'm curious to know more about what you saw! :D It's so fascinating meeting those who lived in the same country as you especially during those traditional, feudal times.
     
  7. Shiriya

    Shiriya Member

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    I can see that. It's odd, whenever I'd try regressing I feel something may be blocking me from looking any further into the memory. But it could possibly be myself needing to get in the swing of regressing after a long hiatus. And yes, that's true....Thank you for your reassurance, Spirit Sword. <3

    I'll just have to try again and see if I receive anything regarding that life.
     
  8. VenusUnchained

    VenusUnchained Member

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    I'm beginning to wonder if there is a TYPE of regression because you and I are regression twins. My memory has come to me in exactly the same fashion with the same after effects. I've wondered much the same if my soul moved on and his either has long past or hasn't yet. I've tried regression many times- and even though I have seen his face and could probably draw a rough sketch of it now, there has always been something either in me or some other force that has blocked me from seeing things. For the longest time I couldn't see his face- but I knew his every battle scar, how tall he was, his body frame, and every muscle. I found an artist that sketched him almost to perfection (almost) and I think maybe that's why I can see him, but even that is not exact. I believe I posted it somewhere in my original thread.

    At first I only saw our deaths and a blood soaked battlefield followed by emotion I couldn't understand. There were not details outlining the location I could only see him in front of me without any detail. It took me a looooooong time to put any features together. I think my memory started coming to me vividly (they've always been there since I was a kid) about four or five months ago and I could describe every detail of him now quite vividly. I know his voice because I've heard it (yes he's spoken to me somehow) and sometimes I can feel his lips on mine as though he were with me and I know his mannerisms and hand gestures. I know he's serious as a heart attack and passionate as hell. (I drove him nuts because I used to be rather vivacious and playful) I'll admit my memories are of a rather.... intimate nature much of the time but I remember gardens, and I remember the ocean and large stone structures, black cliffs and green waters... I remember how he smells. I found a soap and I'm of course I'm addicted to it. It's painful to remember so much, to search the eyes of strangers constantly and not even really know what I'm looking for. I get it. I really do.

    He's been with me since I was just a kid. I referenced it in one of my posts somewhere but I used to tell my dad I had blue eyes (clearly by my photo I don't) and my dad has blue eyes so he thought I was just being silly and would brush it off. The man in my dreams always told me I had the most beautiful blue eyes.

    I'm inclined to agree with Tinkerman- open your heart and soul to him. I've mentioned he spoke to me and I won't lie this took an insane amount of time and effort but I have a nickname for the man I loved and I focused for hours at a time, just listening to music that would typically trigger a memory or something and calling out to him with my mind with no result for a while. I never gave up though I haven't tried very hard lately, my mind has been tired. But it came out of the blue really... and I wish I had rushed home to draw him after this because I was driving home from work one night, minding my own business and thinking about how he wasn't real. I was convincing myself that I was crazy and delusional and needed to stop obsessing- because I was. Wouldn't you know that's the exact moment his voice practically echoed in my head and all he said was "You know me." (I still have yet to figure out what the heck he's talking about by the way) and I saw his face, so perfectly clear down to the smart alack smirk on his beautiful face. I ALMOST wrecked, almost.... Recently it was the same situation, I was driving and telling myself to give in, he's not real and it was a figment of stress or overactive imagination. It wasn't loud but I heard his voice in almost a whisper and like most things with him- I can't remember what he said.

    I dream of him ALL the time. And lately I can't remember them like something doesn't want me to. Most of the time we're laying in his bed from back then just talking after a rather intimate night it seems though I don't dream of that part. Just the talking and I can never remember any piece of our conversation even just upon waking. And even though I have seen it in its entirety a few times now, I can never piece his face together. I just remember he is present. It's lonely.
     
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  9. Shiriya

    Shiriya Member

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    What a beautiful, heartfelt post, Venus. :) Reading your experience is making me start to believe that I'm not insane and should believe what my soul is yearning for...as well as the occasional glimpses, images, and physical contact I receive through meditation. I can definitely relate to the obsessing, as I too have bawled thinking about how absurd the situation all seemed at first! :D It's so weird...I feel you and I share the exact same, if not similar experience. Sometimes out of the blue whenever I'm minding my own business (particularly at night), I feel like I'm being gently kissed on the lips, hugged from behind, and more intimate touches. I'm glad things have been looking up for you though with the huge, obvious amount of progress you've made :) Finally seeing him in your dreams every night must be very rewarding, even if you don't remember most of them. I wish I could say the same for myself--atleast when it comes to regression. So far I've had no luck trying to get in the swing of regressing, but I'm not giving up. Lately while meditating in attempt to recall them, I've felt imprints of physical touches such as the "warrior man's" warmth with the woman's head resting on his shoulder while in a futon, images of holding hands, and more intimate, explicit glimpses (albeit having some trouble visualizing and making out the details in whatever I've been recieving).

    How does one open their heart/soul to their twin, and would there be effects after doing so?
     
  10. Shiriya

    Shiriya Member

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    Last night, I had a weird dream. I wrote it down and thought I'd share because I'm curious of what anyone here thinks about the nature of this dream.

    Excerpt:
    Dream shifts again where I'm walking around the neighborhood...with a feeling something or someone is coming, approaching, following me albeit steadily. I look back and see the man walking in the distance. In shock at the very sight, I felt a weird, strange sense of inner familiarity with this man and felt my stomach drop. He looked just..He looked ALOT like the blue warrior man.
    The same sharp, heavy-lidded eyes, tan skin, thick beard, long hair tied back, brown eyes, thick brows...except the armor/attire he wore wasn't the same blue armor but black and red. I couldn't exactly make too much of his clothes out, but I know he also wore a headband with some gold/metal emblem I also couldn't see well.

    The dream shifts where I'm at the front entrance inside my house with guests coming in and more outside the door. In first person, I felt a sense of wonder from how unexpected the visit seemed seeing alot of unfamiliar faces. The dream shifted again where I was outside the entrance. Me being short as a kid, I had to look up at my guests. Most were korean, so I assumed they were acquaintances of my parents (of korean descent). Then, I spoke to one man. As I did, my eyes flickered over to the side in the distance by mom's garden arbor that led to the entrance and I grew shocked. I saw a familiar figure, which was the same man in black/red.

    Dream shifted again. This time he was up close to me, looking down at me. That was when I realized I could actually make out most of his face! I was shocked, too shocked for words and felt SO FLUSTERED and shy! I spoke, stuttering as I referred the warrior man informally with my usual curt way of speaking korean. Then the other old korean man scolded me, lecturing me "Aiiiiii, you shouldn't talk like that to him."
    I think I said sorry while I couldn't help looking up at the warrior's worn eyes. It was an extreme sense of familiarity, but I just can't place where or when. He was looking at me with some warmth or curiosity in his eyes that seemed to contrast his usual nature, whatever that may be. He hadn't said a single word since he came. I'm assuming he may just be a man of a few words.
     
  11. VenusUnchained

    VenusUnchained Member

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    If you can remember his face at all still i would try and draw it out on paper, asap. I still regret not doing it after my experience because while I can imagine most of him I don't think i could draw an accurate representation... I have the image someone else drew but it's not exact. Close enough i guess? It sounds like he's trying to get your attention or is trying to tell you something, it's good you got the dream out on paper. K was never big on words either, usually one to three word responses which is why i I'm frustrated by his "you know me" message because yeah...that could mean a few different things. Maybe he's closer than you think
     
  12. Shiriya

    Shiriya Member

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    Thanks for the suggestion, Venus. :) Always a pleasure hearing from you. Haha, I did a few times before. Even then, I still have trouble drawing a picture-perfect semblance of his face. Ironically, his eyes are hard to draw, even though I can remember them for the most part. Perhaps he is, but it's hard figuring out what the possible "encounter" means. Haha, especially with how spirit tends to be subtle as a brick. Though I've heard a faint inner voice that kept insisting "he's coming". Not really sure what that means, but I won't assume anything for the time being without any proof.

    I relate with how you feel though. It'd be a big help if they made things a bit more obvious for us to understand. :p
     
  13. Pyohn

    Pyohn New Member

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  14. Pyohn

    Pyohn New Member

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    Hi, Spirit Sword, I was just looking at your post and it caught me by surprise because of your photo and your message. Is that a Claymore? My Husband and I both believe we were married to each other in the twelfth century and he keeps his Claymore under the bed. Even though we lived in France and Germany and Italy when we were married then, I'm of Scottish decent in this reincarnation and my family were most likely Border Reivers in the 14th century in Scotland.
     
  15. Spirit Sword

    Spirit Sword Senior Registered

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    I suppose it would be a Claymore, since it is from the movie Braveheart. I do not own one myself, unfortunately. However, I do keep my katana by my bedside. If you would like to talk more, feel free to send me a PM, so we do not further digress on this lovely post.
     
  16. Pyohn

    Pyohn New Member

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    I was sure I recognized that image from Bravehart and yes it is a Claymore. I am not sure how to private message on here, this is my first experience on a public forum. Are you on FB? I follow Clan Bell on Facebook and am considering joining Clan Bell because Bell is my maiden name and my ancestors in this reincarnation were from Scotland.
     
  17. Enyxis

    Enyxis New Member

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    Sovery glad to knowI am not the only one longing to find my spiritual mate. Yes, she is in a lot of my dreams or she comes to me while I meditation. She comes in my temple and she talks to me. And no it's not always easy. All I remember is we had great lives together. I was her king and she was my warrior queen. How many times did we fought together, I have no idea. I have to many names that sound so real for her I don't even know witch one to give. I can only hope to meet her again in this life... and mostly get a slap in my face... as usual when we meet for the first time. I have a tendency of dying before her, years before her. So, she resent me for leaving her alone. But I can't never see her face. It's blurred, alway blurred.
    But you are not alone and you are not crazy.
     

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