Photographic "evidence" and physical ressemblance with a past self

Discussion in 'SCIENTIFIC and ANECDOTAL research' started by BenjaminFR, Dec 1, 2018.

  1. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Dear all,

    I was invited a few ago to share some photographic evidence I have found while researching the past identity I remember.

    A quick introduction to the following pictures: these are pictures of me, taken professionally when I was 24, and a picture of Eugen K, the man I remember being in the first half of the 2oth century.

    For further information on this past identity and the research I conducted, I invite you to browse the thread I posted ("Remembering a past life as a Waffen-SS officer") in the Past Life Memories section of the forum.

    Please understand that these photographs are highly personal and I take the freedom to post these here for the purpose of highlighting this interesting aspect of reincarnation. Unless specified otherwise, these pictures are either mine or were given to me by the family of Eugen, that kindly forwarded them to me after I contacted them. Please respect their privacy and mine, and avoid posting these images anywhere outside this forum without my explicit authorization.

    First picture I will share is a portrait of me, taken professionally when I was 24:
    IMG_2777.JPG

    The first picture of Eugen I ever found was through a search engine, the day I first uncovered the full name of the memory I carry (which was, funny enough, the day Eugen was born). Eugen is on the right:
    IMG_1705.PNG
    A few months after the beginning of my research, the family of Eugen was very kind to supply me with the remaining pictures of Eugen that they have in their family archives:
    IMG_2778.JPG
     
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  2. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    I have been given some photographs ranging from various moments of his military career, some of them prior to World War 2, such as this one, taken in 1938. Eugen is on the left:
    IMG_2881.JPG
    Or this portrait, taken when Eugen was promoted to SS-Sturmbannführer (Major in the US, Commandant in the French Army) in 1941:
    IMG_2879.JPG

    And the most emotional picture I have every found of Eugen was in a history book dedicated to the SS-PanzerGrenadier Division "Totenkopf". This photograh is very unique to me as it was taken the day Eugen died, only a few hours before he was killed in his Command Panzer (credits: "Totenkopf" by Charles Trang, Page 281):
    IMG_2877.JPG

    To close this message, I wanted to share a picture of me now, taken in Shanghai were I just wrote this message. I wish you all a beautiful day and may my story remind us all that life is a precious gift that should not be wasted by violence and hate. Have a beautiful day!

    IMG_2766.JPG
     
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  3. yvettebruneau

    yvettebruneau Senior Member

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    You certainly have his jaw structure and nose. And, I would even say the ears are similar. Very compelling evidence!

    Have the photos brought forth memories of the days they were taken? Such as that one taken only a few hours before Eugen died?
     
  4. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Well, not all pictures bring me to specific memories, as a lot of memories of the early years kind of merge into an indistinct blend of various rallies, processions and other various events.

    The pre-war pictures of Eugen are also related to a part of his story that I am not particularly happy to remember (the memories related to the political indoctrination of the soldiers attached to his unit). Somehow, I seem to remember that the "Deutschland Erwache" staff and flag were a pride of the Deutschland Standarte, so taking a picture with it was a very important symbol. But I haven't been taken back to this memory, this is a feeling I have.

    However, you are right, the last picture of Eugen is the most powerful to me, and I usually avoid staring at it. I remember his last day quite clearly, and I had been given to re-experience it very clearly prior to stumbling upon this picture. So indeed, it is very distressing to have a photograph that mirrors the memories I have of this sad day. I have already told the story of this last day on my thread, but yes, it was a day of anguish, frustration and exhaustion for him and I can't help but be overwhelmed by these emotions when I see the traits he carries on his face, when standing in this trench. It's such a strong contrast to how beautiful that day was. Temperature was warm, the sun was shining, there was a light breeze to cool the men, and yet it was such a cold cold day.
     
  5. LisaR

    LisaR Senior Registered

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    Intriguing! Thank you for posting. I agree, there’s a similarity about the jaw, or maybe nose, and ears. What a bittersweet and strange thing it must be to have a picture of him on his last day. That’s quite a find. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a WWII trench photo, just WWI. Sad and harsh conditions.
    I remember watching the movie “Fury” being in tears for so much of it. I could so vividly imagine being there amongst the terror and tragedy. I’m sure it’s not a gift to have vivid memories. I like your ending message. Life is indeed too short for such things.
     
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  6. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Yes, I too see the similarity, particularly the shape of the face. I'm struck by the way you have now made yourself look totally different, so the resemblance completely disappears. Is this a conscious decision, with a view to separating your present self from Eugen, or just coincidence?

    I like the last photo of Eugen more than the others. There, you can see character in his face, a real human being rather than a representation of a political ideal. It makes me reflect on the fact that it's often the painful experiences which make us more fully human, and we shouldn't shy away from remembering them for that reason. A face full of experience is an interesting face, to me. I'm overcome by sadness, looking at that image.

    I won't post photos on a public forum, but a couple of people have seen resemblances between my present self and my old identity as Heinz. I still can't see it, myself. Ironically my appearance is far more Germanic than it was then. Heinz could have been taken for an Englishman, I have been mistaken for a German on occasions and addressed in German.
     
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  7. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Just going off at a tangent ... I thought 'Fury' was very good in parts, showing the hardship and brutality of battle. The ending was most unlikely, though entertaining I suppose. A couple of hundred crack Leibstandarte men would have made mincemeat of one disabled tankload of enemy soldiers in a very short time!
     
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  8. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Dear Benjamin,

    I fully realize you share a private part of yourself and I want to thank you for sharing your memories.
    Your way of dealing with your memories and intergrating them in your present life is inspiring.
    You went through a proces of which I thought was impossible. So I learned from you on a deep level.
    Whenever I will encounter my unpleasant memories (they are there) I’ll know there is a living example (you) who was able to transform and rise above and move on.
    It’s about facing the truth and in the end it is about love and self love.

    Once again, thank you.
     
  9. glia21

    glia21 Senior Registered

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    Interesting. Want to thank you for sharing this too! To me Eugen has a sad expression on his face, a little lost. You look much more confident. And very different today, but the resemblance is there.
     
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  10. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    Thanks a lot for sharing! I admire your bravery. I wouldn't dare sharing pictures of my face in the open.
    Also, as others already mentioned, it is so wonderful to see how you were able to deal with your memories. Seeing sad Eugen and then you, looking so confident and happy... that should give us others more than just a bit of hope.
     
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  11. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Dear all,

    I will not quote every message posted here, but I wanted to thank you all for your kind messages. It is funny, but maybe posting those personal pictures have been the closing moment of my experience, to highlight the day in my life when I finally turned the page of this story.

    I have suffered immensely from remembering these sad memories. They were memories of a man who lost himself, in the storm that carried Europe and the world to self-destruction. What carried over in my life was an overwhelming sense of waste, of self-inflicted destruction and overall guilt, of course, for having used his god-given abilities and talents for destructive ends.

    While I am not perfect, I can't help but thank Life now for having given me the chance and the great opportunity to see this past. A sad past indeed, but what a powerful fuel it has become now, for me, to look ahead and use what I have learned to do my part, as a fellow member of our beautiful human race, and work for peace.

    I also can't help but thank with all my heart the beautiful soul that took upon herself to comfort me and help me make the decision to come back, before I was born. She loved me more than I loved myself, trusted me more than I trust myself, and had confidence that this Life path I was about to commit to would make me grow, widen my identity and embrace a feeling of love that I can't help but wish to shine on others.

    If any of you, dear friends, have found relief or inspiration in the hard, painful process that I went through, then I am eternally grateful because you all, with your words, your wisdom and your insights, have contributed to make this story be a strong foundation for my inner peace.

    I have met here wonderful souls, wonderful beings that will, I have no doubts, contribute to help all those who suffer from their past memories heal and grow.

    I also wish to thank Carol and her husband, along with all moderators and contributors to this forum, who have played their part in building such a beautiful place for exchange!

    I keep all of you in my prayers and will always keep an eye on what happens here because my learning process has only just started, really! So many different colours I see here thanks to you all.

    Now I understand Eugen's words, when he came to me: "my life was dark, your life shall be colourful". Indeed he was very wise.

    Thanks to you all, fellow members, for helping me find this inner peace!

    Benjamin
     
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  12. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Hello Tanker!

    Well, I never tried to physically distance myself from Eugen's look, to be honest any kind of physical ressemblance is purely anecdotal to me, as it does not matter to me and I neither look at it as a proof or as a justification.

    It is something that makes me smile, is it a coincidence, a choice made prior to birth to search for a body that would have similarities (because I am also very tall and slim, like other SS-soldiers wanted to be), or has his physical appearance somehow influenced my physical development? I will never know and that is yet another question to remain unsanswered, leaving me wondering.

    But as you said, I am also different, because of course, I am also the product of my ancestry, having inherited physical traits from my English and French ancestors, who have also influenced who I am. My current indentity is a sum of so many influences.

    And I haven't really tried to actively put some distance between me and Eugen. It happened very naturally, and now my physical appearance is the result of the life I live, for I can say that Eugen and I have very different ways of expressing our nature ! I strongly believe that the way you live your life influences your look. I have grey hair already from all the stress I suffered previously, but also have wrinkles from smiling so much. That is why I am not surprised by how different we look now.

    Thanks Tanker, all the best to you!
     
  13. Kenz1010

    Kenz1010 Senior Registered

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    Fury is one of my all time favorite movies. The ending hits me hard every time, can’t help but cry (pretty sure I’ve seen the movie over 10 times now). It’s one of those movies I really don’t like, but love at the same time. If that makes any sense.
     
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  14. sortoflikeheaven

    sortoflikeheaven Senior Member

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    Thank you very much for sharing, you two look very similar. I'm glad you went from tragic and serious looks to smiling, though. Wonderful that you got his family's support : )
     
  15. Kenz1010

    Kenz1010 Senior Registered

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    Thanks for sharing your experience Ben! I do see a resemblance between you and him, like others have said, the face structure and nose.

    I find your story very interesting, I’m glad that you were able to find that inner peace :)
     
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  16. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Yes, makes perfect sense to me. I feel the same. I'm totally unconvinced by the ending, though, as I've said previously. It makes great Hollywood, and I can see why anyone would cry, but I don't think it would have happened like that. I cried at other things. Such as the poor boy being made to shoot his first German. That was a fine piece of acting. The Tiger tank and the 'Fury' Sherman were both from Bovington, and I saw them last year.
     
  17. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Ha, I have watched this movie also. It took me a while to actually find the will to watch it until the end.

    I am claustrophobic, so watching a movie about a tank crew terrified me. Even before I had all the visual memories of my death. It's only when I was going through my research that I decided to watch it. It was so emotional.

    The ending scene, as you said, felt very unrealistic, but seeing the scene of the singing collumn of german soldiers felt very strange, it resonated a lot.

    Another scene that made me react, strangely, is when the collumn led by Fury is engaging a lone Tiger. I kept thinking.. "where is the infantry support? And why is he leaving his cover? He needs as much distance between him and his targets as he can get! Also, a Tiger tank commander would choose to engage the Sherman with the 76mm gun, the most dangerous to him, why are you engaging the less dangerous targets first?"

    But yes, it was so moving to see the dynamic of the tank crew. Congrats to the actors to reaching this level. What a dangerous job it was for the poor tank crews.
     
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  18. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Going off topic again, Benjamin, but just to answer your points ...

    Maybe if I'd died in the tank I would have been claustrophobic too, but now I see being locked down inside as very comforting.

    I never saw the Tiger, to my knowledge, in my past lifetime. I don't know how many they had in Russia, in late '42, if any? You might know. I only knew the Panzer IV plus the earlier ones. I could put your point on Tiger tactics to the guides at Bovington, next time I go.

    But I well remember the Leibstandarte singing on their way to battle. One of the most exciting, evocative sounds as they drew nearer. I have it in my head often. Makes my heart beat faster even now. Did Totenkopf also sing in those situations? That's the only scene from the film I'd want to watch again.
     
  19. Kenz1010

    Kenz1010 Senior Registered

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    I agree with you on the ending, very Hollywood and probably wouldn’t of happened in real life. The very end where Norman made it out didn’t make me emotional, the end part that got me the most was when each member of the crew started getting killed off one by one, I really didn’t take that one well. I remember watching it with my dad the first time and I was an absolute wreck, while he sat there saying “it’s just a movie”.

    I’m claustrophobic as well, but I’m not sure why. Do you think your claustrophobia stems from your PL?
     
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  20. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    I don't have a definitive answer regarding my claustrophobia, but my family have testified that I have been afraid of elevators right from my earliest years. There was one instance, when I was maybe 2 or 3, and my grandfather took me to an old, metallic elevator in a parking lot and I had a huge panick attack. Even today I dislike them, along with being locked in any closed space. I would never EVER go in a submarine :D

    I also remember that most of my night terrors would stem from nightmares of being locked in a cold, closed space. My nightmares were similar to being locked in a cell. I tried to find the exit but never managed to find an escape. I would usually wake up in tears in the middle of my room, and this went on until I was 23, as far as I remember.
     
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