Pre-birth planning gone wrong

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by moonlightdemure, Oct 2, 2021.

  1. moonlightdemure

    moonlightdemure New Member

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    First post here on the forum, hope I get some feedback or discussion on this, as it's perplexed me for a while.
    Apologies for grammar mistakes, english is not my first language.

    I've read about a dozen books now on past lives and reincarnation. I had heard the concept of pre-birth planning, but none went as in depth with it, than author Robert Schwartz in his books; "Your soul's gift" And "Your souls plan." It goes in depth about how victims of abuse, rape, incest, and other tragedies, planned them in advance to further their souls development. This case study goes over multiple case studies of survivors.

    There was a story in, about a woman who reincarnated with a soulmate of hers. In the pre-brith planning session, she was warned the probability of being abused by this soulmate was very high. She wanted to learn self-worth and provide him with unconditional love, he wanted to learn how to control his temper. The soulmate who abused her in their current life was hesitant as were others in her soul group. Her spirit guides seemed against the idea, but she insisted on reincarnating with him regardless. The relationship was not supposed to be very long, but she ended up being in it for 12 years. They never anticipated she would stay in it for so long, but it happened anyways.

    This has opened up a can of worms for me, that makes me wish I never encountered the idea of past lives and the spirit realm.

    Souls are obviously not all knowing and perfect, even in the spiritual realm they can carry false beliefs and make 'mistakes' (ie, act unwisely.) They also choose "negative" catalysts for change (like abuse and trauma) over positive catalysts for change (unconditional love, stable home life.) These souls do that because they believe that thats the only way they can learn the lesson on earth.

    This led me to some very dark realizations about myself, and the possibility that I may have bitten off more than I could chew in this life in terms of challenges. It's possible I may have made a 'mistake' in my planning.

    I suffered emotional, mental, physical abuse all through-out my childhood at the hands of my family, parents, friends, and peers. I experienced a sexually, emotionally, mentally abusive relationship at the cusp of teenage-hood, that destroyed my life. In both instances with my family and ex-partner (who are all a part of my soul group), when I tried to speak up for myself, I had been shamed, blamed, and gaslighted into believing I was the problem. I was abused and stripped of any agency to defend myself. I experienced constant de-humanization. I have encountered this hate and invalidation my entire life. It is insidious and around every corner. I have cut myself off from nearly my entire family, isolated myself from society, all in an attempt to keep safe.

    I wonder if while I was planning, I thought the only way I would learn was if I was horribly abused by every single person in my life who I trusted and loved. There is no other reason this would happen otherwise, and I came to the realization that it is bullshit to subject yourself to abuse. Whether it be in the spiritual realm or on earth, it is pure, unfiltered, dog ****, to think that abuse is a good way to learn self-love. I don't know if that was my higher-selfs goal to make me realize that, as I've made a lot of really positive changes to my life in these past few years, but regardless of if it is or isn't, it makes me feel horrible about myself. In fact, it has destroyed all the hard-work I've put into loving myself and changing my toxic ways of thinking and living.

    Did my soul really carry the belief that I deserve abuse? I've seen so many horrible things in my life at such a young age, I can't take it anymore. The fact that I may have planned this, makes my stomach curl. I feel unable to trust myself once again. If I thought that this was an appropriate life to subject myself too, what other misconceptions and messed up beliefs do I have about myself? What else am I going to subject myself too? I don't want to see the future. I don't want to follow my plan. I simply don't trust my higher self anymore. It has lowered my own opinion of the 'higher-self' concept greatly.

    I feel like If i'm at this point in my life where I acknowledge that what I went through was too much, I know a hell of a lot more than my 'Higher self' did (and currently does) when I went into planning my current life. I'm just baffled at the stupidity, apathy, and masochism. There is no way the person I am now, would ever approve of me going through that. This was too much to put one person through. It shouldn't have happened.

    In fact, I hate myself even more now knowing that I'm at fault for all the abuse I faced as a child. Knowing that I put myself through this on purpose, makes me sick. I was generally a good person in my past lives, and a considering what I went through in this life, I feel i'm a very fair person now as well. To know that I faciliated and planned my own abuse, rape, and torture, and my soul group, spirit guides, are co-conspirators to it, has ruined me. Its reinforces the very same belief that I've had my entire life; I was hurt, and I'm at fault for it. My Abusers enjoy hurting me, get off scott free, and i'm left to pick up the pieces. I don't feel like a survivor. I feel like a tool.

    I don't know where to go at this point. I'm so hurt and sickened by all of this. It's put a permanent dent in my progress. I can't pretend like everything is fine, and that this hurt is all for the greater good, and that I should just power through to the end. I'm tired of my feelings not mattering at all. I feel the disrespect and dismissal from how my higher-self treats me as an unfeeling pawn in a game all too deeply. This is not okay. I just want out.
     
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  2. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

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    My advice is to listen through past life regressions on places like youtube as well continue reading around as you'll find that such is the norm after all it is partly why Earth is one of the darkest worlds to have ever existed between souls getting stuck trying to fix old problems ect. At some point they either have to get it right (good luck with that) or decide to finally move on. For me I am going to move on regardless of whatever happens in this life and I will always advise others who've suffered to do the same as I am not confident that this world will truly improve beyond just some quality of life issues. I honestly don't know why I am here myself and others have been asking themselves the same wondering why they've had to suffer through all this while life for others is so wonderful either way I believe that eventually there will be a diaspora of souls to other worlds seeking some form of comfort and healing.

    Doubtful that you would have planned this and gotten stuck with an all too common "package deal" that you either had to pick from a few others or it was all that was provided. Wiser souls do pick and choose however many don't exercise their free will adequately on the other side before coming here.
     
  3. Speedwell

    Speedwell Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    First, @moonlightdemure, welcome to the forum. You certainly sound like you've been having a hard time in this life. My good wishes to you.

    I think there's a problem, shall I say, a lack of usefulness, in allocating too much weight to pre-life planning and ideas of what we are presumably supposed to have planned to do. What really matters is that you're here, in this life, and so far there has been plenty of trouble and difficulty, to put it mildly. So, what happens next?

    That is where, though I can make no promises, I think there is room for optimism (I'm always an optimist, through thick and thin, these days). So I suggest you start to consider a plan, a path, how to move forwards, how to leave the past behind. In my experience, life has been full of contrasts. I've had dark times, times of despair where the only thing left was to pray - to a God I didn't even know for sure even existed - but I prayed, just the same. My life did change, initially it was just a feeling, all my surroundings were the same, my life was the same, just as troubling as before, but I felt uplifted. After that, I hoped, expected things to get better. Well they did, things did improve, but it was not all smooth. But after a number of years, to my own surprise, things surprisingly became very different, better than I could have ever imagined.

    What I'm, saying is several things, look to the future, life can have surprises, not all of them will be bad, sometimes there are very good things too. And maybe pray if you are able. (By the way I don't belong to any religion, but I still pray, these days often to give thanks, but in the difficult times for help and support and guidance).
     
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  4. helz_belz

    helz_belz Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I'm not sure if anything I can say will help, but I see and hear you @moonlightdemure

    Although I haven't remembered much in the way of pre-planning myself (and am quite sceptical to be honest), I have heard pre-panning described as not so much a list of exact things that will happen, but more like planning a road-trip, where there are points along the way but with the possibility of other unexpected things coming along, or even of the whole plan being thrown out the window once the journey has started. There is free-will after all, and free-will can be both good and bad and all shades in between. I think what I'm trying to say is that sometimes bad things happen without any pre-planning (just as good things can also happen). You can come to the physical realm with all good intentions, but there is always the possibility that the free-will of others could impinge on us.

    Try to take all spiritual teachings with a pinch of salt, no person can ever speak for anyone's experiences except their own. Find what meaning you can from within yourself. If you are in need, seek help also from professionals with experience in dealing with trauma. Trauma is never the fault of the victim, no matter what some spiritual 'teachers' may like to tell us about pre-planning and karma. As much as we are spiritual beings on a physical journey, our main focus should always be the physical lives we live now, the nitty-gritty ins-and-outs of the spiritual realm can be dealt with there, the physical issues can and should be dealt with here.

    Sending you much Love and Light
     
  5. Speedwell

    Speedwell Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    There are lots of reasons why I don't think we are to blame for our own misfortunes. There are too many things outside our control, including other people's free will, as well as wars and natural disasters. It doesn't make any sense to me to assume that all the victims in either a war or an earthquake were somehow to blame for their own downfall. When it comes to things which happen to us, sometimes we may have to accept them, like getting soaked to the skin when caught in a rainstorm. But that doesn't mean we caused it to rain. I know the example of rainfall is trivial, but I do think it is harmful to try to take on the blame and assume responsibility for things outside our control. That is an important step - to change the way of thinking, to stop feeling at fault for things which others have done. You are not to blame, it is not your fault.
     
  6. Eva1942

    Eva1942 A Walking Enigma...

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    I am one soul who DID plan for that. It wasn’t the abuse of my ‘Spirit free will’ it was to repay karmic actions from WWII of my twin soul. My twin soul was the head of the Gestapo/SD and in charge of the Holocaust. Also I was a Jew as well. Double edged knife lifetimes my soul lived back then.

    Part of that lesson we had planned was that I was to experience how it felt for my twin soul. That he couldn’t just order people like the Gestapo to raid people’s homes and terrorise them all for being Jews. I learned that lesson from Domestic violence during my teens, fleeing my house and living in woman’s safe houses with my Mum. I learned how it felt to be woken up at 5am in the morning by an abusive boyfriend threatening to kill me (much like the Gestapo did) and also I learned the opposite lesson of the Police not being a friend or Protektor. I still don’t like the Police now to this day. (Ironic huh? Opposite lesson again. Go from managing a police force to disliking all police in general).

    I was 19 before that lesson ended. The lesson I had been learning since I was 13. Some people don’t believe in karmic actions or repayment but I do.

    Past life exploration is no party trick. It’s a serious life-changing event, but it can bring fulfilling happiness knowing you have lived more than once, and you can learn more about yourself than ever before.

    I wish you all the best,
    Eva x
     
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