Psychic war

Discussion in 'Parapsychology' started by AlexD, May 28, 2017.

  1. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    Hi everyone. I'm not really sure how to begin this topic... well it's about me and my torturer from my past life who reincarnated as my so called "mother".
    I know for certain that she's been psychic-attacking me and my aunt for quite some time now. Even when we were unaware of her being who she is and did not suspect her at all, she would still attack us mentally without us being even consciously aware of it. This regardless of all the emotional and psychological abuse that she did on me when I was a child, that's another story. Now it's all silent, unspoken and veiled with false smiles.

    A couple of years ago I had the final confirmation of my suspects. Back in the day I didn't remember anything about my previous identities, but I had the feeling that she killed me, or at least that she had tortured me to the extreme in some other life. One night, as I was trying to sleep, I fell into a state inbetween waking and sleep, in which my mind slipped into a nightmare. My torturer was there, hurting me as always. Somehow I realized that it wasn't a simple dream but a mental attack against me, and I chose to respond. I collected all the hatred, all the rage and all the pain that I could find in myself in that moment (and it was much), and I used that negative energy to manifest a monster that cut my torturer in half.
    The following day my mother felt sick for no reason, and she needed a shot of some medicine to ease the pain. Call it a coincidence, but to me it was a confirmation of what I had only suspected before... that she was him.
    Since we both reawakened to our past identities, my aunt and I had more revelations strengthening this belief. I am completely sure that I am right about that, now. With this certainty, my attitude has changed too. I am starting to identify her psychic attacks. I perceive her aura, the way it affects me and my aunt, and the energy that she directs against us. It's a recurring pattern that I have learned to recognize. And the more I recognize it, the more I realize it's real, the more this fills me with grudge.

    This is the point of the discussion, basically. It's no longer a matter of defending myself. I started to attack her back, whenever I get the chance, simply out of rage and desire for revenge. I visualize the attacks when I am wide awake. When I dream and I meet her in the astral plane, it's never a peaceful encounter. Last time I even entered her own mind and observed her inner world... it was the delirium of a disturbed person with a God complex and a profound desire to kill. I was disgusted by such depravity. And yet I feel like an idiot myself, for being dragged to Hell and accepting the invitation with pleasure.

    I have the strong feeling that these attacks are taking their toll. She is slowly being consumed by my attacks, and I am being consumed by hers (even though for me it has been for long). The fact is that I didn't even care too much, before I realized that my aunt was being seriously affected by her, and the attacks were manifesting physically on her. When I realized that, I lost it. I have a geyser of white hot rage boiling inside of me and I just want to let it out, let it shape my daydreams and make them real. I know the potential of my mind, but I also know that this war can destroy me, if I let it. From a reasonable point of view, it's just stupid that we are destroying each other like that. Perhaps she wanted to control me with her attacks, but my intentions are different. Now I see red when I see her face.

    I'm not even sure if it's a matter of attacking or not attacking. I mean, she asked for it... I could have even forgiven her eventually. But no, she never changed. Now I am the one who wants to give her a lesson. It's not even a matter of morality, since she never had her retribution for killing us. It's more of a matter of, how long can I endure this war before my mind falls apart, followed by my body? Because if we keep going this way, we are simply going to consume each other slowly, we are both losers in this game. But I didn't start this wicked game, she invited me to the chessboard and I accepted. I should probably leave her alone for good, but I don't even know when I'll have the possibility to do so. What to do, until then? My instinct tells me to attack. What is your opinion?
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2017
  2. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    That does sound like you have yourself in a bind. Although I have never been that deeply involved in a conflict like that, I was involved in competition with my father most of my life. It was not of my choosing, at least I don't think it was. I was able to step aside when I was in my thirties, but he was never able to stop. It was odd, but I "won" by not continuing the game.

    What do you suppose the lesson might be in this conflict with your "tormentor"? What outcomes do you see as being available?
     
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  3. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    I understand your strong feelings about this, although I have never had such experiences. I believe it is possible to tap into somebody else's subconscious and get information, and / or to implant information there.

    The first doubt that crossed my mind when I read your post was what if you're wrong about your mother's thoughts and doings, and by attacking her you incur really bad karma. Better take measures to protect yourself and others, instead of attacking her.
     
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  4. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    I have no reason to doubt her attacks, at least not anymore. But I am human, and as such I am not infallible... I might be wrong. But as I said, at this point I do think I am right. I am gifted with a good intuition, but aside from my inner feelings, some attacks are just perceptible. Just as it is possible to tap into someone else's psyche and manipulate it, as you said, it is also possible to become aware of it. As for karma... well, karma isn't part of my set of beliefs. At least in the sense of retribution... it never occurred to me that such a thing really exists in life. Although I am aware that all we do brings consequences, and attacking doesn't bring me any positive consequences at all, except slightly venting my anger, temporarily. But in the long run, it's tiring, and it doesn't free me from this regrettable situation. It just helps me sink down to her level... which is really low.

    The way I see it, a psychic attack is a very subtle form of mental manipulation, something like projecting the damage on someone's mind and convincing them that it's real. You can deal a great damage when you know how to strike... knowing someone's mind exposes their weaknesses. When an attack is well done, it manifests in the physical body immediately or short after. My aunt was already debilitated when she was attacked not long ago, it was so bad that I almost feared for her life. It was then that I shifted from mere defense/survival to a more proactive approach. But I know that my judgement is clouded by my rage. My aunt was my close friend even in my past life, if I am here it is also to help her survive the situation. Especially since I know that the man who tortured me is the same man that beat my aunt to death in her pl. If I believed in karma, I'd say we have a triple bind. But life is more complicated than what we may think.

    What lesson? All I've learned so far is that some people never change. If really the mind I was diving into the other night was hers, it will take her millennia to make a step forward. It's pointless, we should have never met again in the first place. I don't know whose idea this was, if we all agreed, or if it was just my aunt who wanted to reincarnate close to her, but it was stupid. The outcome is bleak, unless I manage to get away from here. Still, I'd have to leave my aunt alone, and I don't want to. The only solution is that we ALL part ways, everyone for themselves. Until then, peaceful coexistence is impossible.
     
  5. tanguerra

    tanguerra Senior Registered

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    Some questions ...

    Is this the kind of thinking that is at the root of all this antagonism in the first place?
    What are you trying to achieve here?
    What binds you together?
    Is it love?
    What is love as you understand it?

    What is the prize you are fighting for?
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2017
  6. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    For some reason the antagonism is much older than this life. We had already met before, as I already wrote, in unhappy circumstances. As far as I can remember, I started this life with all the possible good intentions. Well, I used to be quite mischievous as a little child, but who isn't? Plus, as I grew up a little (and any possible memories from my pl ended up being buried in my subconscious), I always behaved well. She made my life impossible when I was still young and her husband was away. I reiterate that she is a narcissist. This said, I have good reasons to believe that her aim was always to control me, but she used the wrong tools. When I became an adult I recognized her patterns of behaviour and realized her emotional tricks... emotional blackmailing, playing the victim, lying, threats (sometimes death threats), manipulating talks to her advantage and such. She would abuse me and brainwash me into believing I was inventing it all. It took me a while to overcome the long-lasting trauma that she inflicted on me. It was then that my emotional attachment slowly faded. I see this as a healing from some kind of Stockholm syndrome that I suffered from. And the antagonism with my aunt is yet different, because she doesn't want to control her as she did with me, she simply hates her and would like to see her dead. My reaction is simply that I detest her.

    We live under the same roof, all of us. My aunt is jobless and lives in the apartment upstairs with her parents. I still live with my parents because I am a student and I need their money to go on, plus I'm stuck in this place until I make any progress with my studies. So what binds us together is not love but financial issues. I could run away but then I'd have to give up my studies and live like a homeless person, which is not exactly my greatest ambition in life.

    I'm trying to survive and make some progress in my personal life, even if it seems arduous at this time. But there are some things that I just can't ignore.

    Respect, listening to someone, mutual understanding, wanting the best for someone, sharing, caring, sacrificing oneself for the sake of someone (not necessarily sacrificing one's life, but even sacrificing some time and energy can mean much). This is what love manifests like in my opinion, or at least the way I manifest it.
    Narcissists feel love only for themselves... the rest is mere commentary. If she tries to control me, I learned that it's not a twisted way of showing her love, because there is no love in the first place.

    I want to get away from here, possibly to my homeland, and I want my aunt to be fine. This is my primary objective. And I know that fighting against each other will not get us anywhere. It's just that at this point I don't even know how to react anymore, it just comes natural even if it's useless.
     
  7. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I was wondering if your view might be altered a bit if you took the time to look at your situation from the perspective of having planned this yourself before experiencing it in the physical. What possible learning did you intend? How do you suppose those experiences would lead to your "improvement"?
     
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  8. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    This is the problem, at the moment I have no idea why I did it, even though I am pretty sure that it was my choice from the beginning. My attitude at the moment is "what did I smoke when I made this decision?". But it is something that I'm trying to understand now.
     
  9. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I know what you mean, been there myself. However, it is sobering to realize that it something that fits into your "development" somehow.
     
  10. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    I'm sorry for your current predicament.

    On the other hand, I only have your point of view to form an opinion about your situation. I know there are some parents that aren't fit to be parents. There are also some children that don't show respect and gratitude to their deserving parents.

    I don't have children, but in parent / child conflicts, if I were forced to pick one side without any direct knowledge, I would firstly give the benefit of the doubt to the parent, especially to a mother, because maternal instinct is extremely strong, and not only among humans. There are also the lack of reasoning maturity, and the lack of experience, inherent to the youth, in most cases. I was young as you are, and I remember the way I viewed the world. I remember what I considered I am owed by my parents, and what I owed them.

    It's not that I don't believe you; it's that I consider the possibility of you not seeing clearly. The fact that you live in your parents' house, on their money and resources, doesn't really bring in you any feelings of gratitude? Is it possible that you're just a spoiled brat? If you really feel so strongly against your mother, just leave your nest, take a chance! Take a job, temporarily suspend your studies, or slow them down, become self sustaining!

    The fact that both you and your aunt don't support yourselves at an adult age, and both of you depend on your parents' full support, draws an obvious parallel. I can see that somebody obligated to fully provide for an ingrate adult, as might be the case of your mother, might feel frustrated, and might show it.

    An idea: maybe your lesson for this life is gratitude! If so, hopefully you'll learn it. Maybe you had to learn it in previous lives, and failed it (?).

    Again, I also consider the possibility that you're right, and your mom is evil. The only idea I reject is that you're right in trying to inflict any damage onto your mother. You can protect yourself, both psychically and physically, without reciprocating to hate with hate. You can take your life in your hands: become independent!
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2017
  11. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    Baro-san, I am not expecting you to accept my point straight away. Sure, maternal instinct is a fact. It's also a fact that a narcissistic mother is not fit to be a mother. And if you think that I'm saying that she is a nacissist just because I'm ungrateful or because I detest her for no reason, I can tell you that both my aunt and I were in therapy not too long ago (separately), and from our separate sessions the therapist said that my mother is really a narcissist and that there is no way to change this fact. Just saying.

    Also, I'm not sure if you realize the consequences of living in a dysfunctional family such as my own. As I said, I've been in therapy for a while (only because the therapist agreed to do it for free... my parents would have never paid for it), but then decided to quit because I wasn't progressing anymore. I could interrupt my studies, but it would be stupid to do it now since I've taken all my exams and I only need my thesis to graduate. And since a degree could be the only chance to get a decent job in the future, if not getting a job at all, it is in my best interest to continue this way. It's aimed at achieving the independence that I need, because with a precarious and underpaid job (assuming that I could find one at all) I couldn't even afford to pay a room for myself and eat every day.

    My aunt used to work in the past. It was an underpaid job, but still a job, until she got fired because the nursing home in which she worked had no more funds and needed to do some downsizing. After that, she wasn't able to find anything else, and in the meantime my grandfather got chronically ill and needed constant assistance, so she remained with him to help him. I believe she has shown her gratitude more than enough by caring about him 24/24 at the cost of her own well being. Considering that my grandfather never supported her to study after high school, and that is also why she couldn't find a decent job afterwards.

    I'd like to point out that my mother's behavior towards me is not a response caused by her frustration, but a constant way of life that has been so since I was a little child. Paradoxically, she's been abusing me much less since I stood up for myself and made her understand that I am an individual, regardless of my financial status. If it was merely a reaction for being forced to feed an ingrate adult such as myself, she wouldn't have caused me so much childhood trauma in the first place. But I can see that all this is hard to believe because after all she's still my mother. It's also the reason why she managed to cover up all the emotional abuse she did on me and brainwash me into thinking that it was always my fault. Not to mention that I've only recently healed from the long-lasting damage that I received.

    I hope I didn't sound like I was upset, I just wanted to make my point clear. Plus I can understand that by stating that I attacked her, I sounded like a bad person who rejoices in others' pain, and this probably damaged my credibility. The fact is, if I simply liked it this way, I would have no reason to write a thread about this. The reason why I am talking about this thing, is that I realize that attacking someone is wrong and I can't go on much longer doing this, but still I don't know how to handle the situation. I do believe I have my good reasons to be enraged. Perhaps I need to learn how to control myself? How to manage my feelings and redirect them elsewhere? I don't know.
     
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  12. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    AlexD, you wrote you don't know what lesson you're supposed to learn in this life. Try to find out! I suggest an alternate state of consciousness method, like life-between-lives self-hypnosis. Also, as incredible as this may sound, it is likely that you pay now for something you did in a past life, and that you chose yourself to do it.
     
  13. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    Yeah, I thought about that too, although I'd need more details and practice on how to achieve such a state, because so far I wasn't able to progress too much in this way. I mean, most of my memories came out either in dreams or through visions I had, but without hypnosis. Where I live there are no hypnotherapists so I can't get help from one either. I do want to try regressing to the moments before my last incarnation though, it may hold the key to this and other pressing questions that I have about my current life.

    Also, it is not incredible that I might be "paying", so to speak, for a past sin of mine. I know myself, and I know I can make big mistakes, I am no saint. I have much self-control, maybe too much, but when I lose it I can hurt both myself and other people, and quite badly too.
    Before, I just said that karma is not part of my beliefs because I have no proof of it at the moment. I never observed "retribution" in action, and many things just seemed so unfair (not only referred to myself but to other situations) that I still find it hard to believe in such a strict order of things. I still believe that we make some choices before incarnating, and the rest is a consequence.
    It is entirely possible that I made some big mistake in a past life, maybe a mistake that I can't remember about right now, and I chose this situation to correct my behaviour eventually. Perhaps it's a "training" for some future situation in which I'm going to find myself, and it could be useful. But I can only take a wild guess by saying these things, some further insight would be of help.
     
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  14. Cryscat

    Cryscat Senior Member

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    Alex, how close (distance) do you live to your mother? If I may suggest, moving far away from her may help. Sometimes physical distance can help you create mental distance. It seems to me that mental distance would be good start, if you want to disengage.
     
  15. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    Cryscat, I live in the same apartment. And until I finish my studies, I have no way of leaving. Leaving would be great, and I plan on doing it as soon as I can, but it's out of the question in the immediate future.
     
  16. tanguerra

    tanguerra Senior Registered

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    It's very tough, when you are stuck somewhere you don't want to be, with people you don't want to be with. However, as you say, fighting is not going to make things better. Somewhere in here is a lesson you are needing to learn. Try, if you can, to focus your thoughts on love and less on anger and feelings of unfairness, and so on if you can. It's not easy, and it won't change anything, but it will probably make you feel better and hopefully able to think more clearly.
     
  17. tanguerra

    tanguerra Senior Registered

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    Karma doesn't work that way. We don't 'pay' for past mistakes. If we keep making the same mistakes, we will have the same results. We are always learning and growing, or, trying to. For instance, learning that 'losing it' leads to pain for yourself as well as others is a good lesson to learn. It takes more than one lifetime to learn some lessons. Fortunately, we have plenty of time.

    You can trust your own intuition. There may be something from the past that is trying to come up and is making you (and possibly your Aunt) feel all stirred up. Use your journal. Write whatever comes to mind. Trust your instincts. See if you can find any deeper insights that might help you to smooth out these troubled waters.

    The only really serious mistake is one you don't learn from.
     
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  18. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    Well, the fact is that I 'changed' since my aunt was involved in this situation. I don't mean that we weren't both involved from the beginning, because it was our destiny to meet and be together in this situation. I could have left this place before, and in fact I did before bad circumstances forced me to return. It wasn't a failure, it was calculated, but I realized that afterwards.
    I have good reasons to think that if there is a reason for us to be all together in this situation, it involves both my aunt and myself, not just me. She is reflecting upon this as well, though it's hard to come up to a conclusion. I had another life before this one, so I wasn't in a hurry to meet my torturer once again. If I did, it's because my aunt and I agreed to meet at that point, this is what I've always thought. And I can hardly imagine leaving her behind either.
     
  19. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    For self hypnosis, I suggest you look up online for free mp3s from dr Weiss, dr Goldberg, and use them as model. I found some on youtube. You can probably found pdf versions of some of their books.

    I recall that in his "Only Love Is Real - The story of soulmates reunited" (1996), Dr Brian Weiss gives good practical information about hypnosis, interspersed over the story line.
     
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  20. Myna

    Myna Humanoid

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    Alex

    First of all, im sorry about your condition & situation. I actually dont like to interfere the issue between u & your mom, not sure also how u would feel if I express my ideas, but if u wanna hear my opinions, pls kindly read below. My suggestion is to blindly forgive her & initiate to love her with all your heart, stop the fight. U wanna know why im saying this?

    The reason I tell u to forgive is because, first she's simply your mom, no matter who she was in PL, alone carrying u in her womb for 9 month aint easy, some women suffer a lot during pregs, like me, actually I had fear to get preg & give birth, second because she gave birth u, it aint easy either, who decided to let their babies born means this person still have a seed of love to the baby, eventho the person might be not nice in attitude. No matter how bad a mom to her kid, if u treat her respectless, u create definitely neg karmas, coz she counts as a life giver in the karma wheel, she could have abort u, if she didnt want u, but I do believe she wants u, even til now. I meant neg karma, it's not something u have to pay, but it's big lesson that u surely must repeat if u fail.

    2nd, as i said, u experience such things in this life it's not coincidence, there must be something u must learn, as I can see your this life challenge is to learn forgiveness & compassion. Every of us was born & giving a chance to be a hero in our own way. In your case, is to love your mom deeply & be a hero. Why would I say something crazy like this, if someone torture u, but u have to love that person back instead? It's simple, it's because you don't feel loved & she neither. People who have such grudge/ aggressive tendency it's not because of the hate, but simply because of the feel that they dont receive enough love; thus, feel certain person cause the suffering in their life. Antidote of hatred & grudge are only forgiveness & have compassion on her, understand that her attitude is her unskillful mind, that she lost her own mind control. Our true nature is a soul/mind pure & full of compassion, but we were born in body with specific consciousness/brain with personalities. Thus, the brain aka ego has a lot of conflict with the nature of our mind. Have u seen cartoon, when we think of something, there are 2 thoughts arise, 1 is described from devil/ dark force in us & the other one is from our angel. This is actually no such things, demons & angels. Our ego is actually the darkness that we have to fight, not the external factor. You were born & were given a puzzle to defeat your inner enemy thru such heavy experience in form of external factor (mom), now the one above wanna see if you can be successful in such game or not, if u fail again, u would definitely experience same things again in yr next life, because the game is over without making progress. So what's the trick to win such difficult game? Ignore your hatred to her, each time u see her in neg way, think of her GOOD QUALITIES, despite she treated u not nice when u were bigger, here are some samples, maybe u can omit if they are not correct:
    - she carried u in her womb for 9 month
    - she brought u to this world means gave u your 1st breath & life
    - she cooked for u, prepared your breakfast
    - she fed u, she wiped your stinky poop & changed your diaper
    - she brought u to docs when u were sick
    - she carried u in her arms to make u sleep or soothed u when u cried or sad
    - she bought u & put clothes on u to keep u warm
    - she brought u to school, provide u your education
    - she let u live in her house
    - she brought u up
    - she washed your dirty clothes & put fresh washed ones

    3rd reason why u should forgive & love her, her mind might suffer from something, depression & frustration, and definitely she received lack of love & attention that she needed, she is fear of something, so she has become very sensitive, easily annoyed & finally lose control. So when u were a child, u might gave her hard times like crying non stop, being naughty, disobey her, anything that made her feel that she couldnt handle the situation anymore and she started letting out her fear, pain, anger, frustration on u, just because she doesnt know what love is. So be a hero in this life, be her savior, help her end her sufferings at same time yours, by introducing forgiveness, care & love. First, u must forgive what she has done to u in yr PL, this life. Alone, forgiving your enemies & torturers, you will progress immensely in your spiritual journey. Like Jesus, forgave those who crossed him, like GuanYin who forgave the guy who cut her head & took all his neg karma to herself, like Buddha who forgave the cook who caused his poisonous death. It aint easy to achieve this, but if u think this is just your game of life & u must knock it off & try to attain the highest high score as u could by keep telling your mind that it is just my game lesson, I believe you will push yourself hard to be better person & soul despite this tough life obstacles.

    Another way to let go your anger, grudge & hatred by forgeting all the neg qualities of your mom & try to think the opposite, like "which good thing I have done for my mom to make her smile & happy?", "have I done something nice for her without she asked me?", "have I DIYed a gift or cook for her?", "have I told her thank you, hugged her & said her I love u?", "have I ever thought or said to my mom that I want her to be happy?", "Have I always obeyed my mom?", "have I done things that my mom have done for me, like give her life, wash her clothes, accomodate her, take her to doc when she's sick, etc.?"

    4th reason why u should forgive & try to love her, what u see in your visions are manifestation of your conscious mind, aka brain/ego. How our visions work is not as simple as we thought, we actually shouldnt perceive as they may seem to us & give a judgement, often those visions are manifestations of our consciousness' thoughts, so when u start doubting one, think neg of that person, u send such signal to universe & it will fetch such visions randomly from the mind databank & send it back to u, and how u interpret will also affect the next visions, the more u think neg if her, the more u will create such illusions according to your negativities, in the end u r creating your own unfavorable karmas (destiny), so to defeat dark forces internally (ego) & externally (u suspect your mom did u bad) just with forgiveness, purity & compassion, because egos of your & your mom dont understand this, they never feel or recognize unconditional love. If u have never felt being loved this life time, so try to send lots of love to her, u will release positive things, never give up, remember, it's your game of life.

    5th reason, no matter what, dont throw yourself into a trap, just by thinking or saying, u r doing & creating as heavy karmas as u kill a person for real. What I mean, just by thinking, u r turning yourself into a murder, pls dont fall into the darkness, when u have hard times, pls look even more to the lights, even if there's tiny chance, force yourself to look for light. Just tell yourself, if other bad to me, I dont need to turn my soul as dirty as theirs, as dark as theirs, I MUST stay strong & endure, be a good person, be a hero for myself to be proud of. I must not fall into this trap of life & made me lose my own game. Remember before we were born, we chose which lesson we wanted to learn on earth. Be a winner of your own lesson that you have chosen.

    Note: when u have too much hatred and other neg emotional issues, you might see PL visions of others in this line/type, means u might thought it was your PL, psychic ppl they are receptive, so they can receive all kinds of visions that can be sent from different sources, so when your vibration is low, then u have tendency received visions of PLs from low vibrations spirits, so there is really HIGH chance that what u see are not necessarily yours, but maybe from those who have same feeling or emotion as yours. So pls dont get yourself fooled by them. Ask yourself when u see neg visions, how was my emotion & thought that time? Was I mad, or hate? If answer is yes, pls IGNORE those visions & FORGET them as those emotion & thoughts invite such visions from other sources,too. Even u are sure it's your vision, but it's not the right way to handle.
    Coz if u handle with aggressiveness, u r inviting that kind of visions in your mind workd; thus, avoid it.

    If the bad visions persist & arise in your mind again, u could visualize u watch THAT movie in a cinema & imagine u press delete to erase the film, so u are commanding your mind to forget it, keep imagine this way, each time u remember visions of psychic attacks. When u see them, pls have no fear & anger to them, just imagine you were watching film on tv & it's not your own story. If you believe in Jesus, visualize Jesus right in front of your eyes. The reason you do this is, to defeat the darkness inside you (your conscious ego), ego prevents us to be a pure soul, so it will create images & visions that brain can interpret your emotions & thoughts that time before your mind take the right action.

    I really hope you & your mom will love & care each other.

    Try to listen, be the first good listener, when u listen carefully, u might can see deep down inside her, what she fears of, why she behaved this way. Be a good child of your mom, not for her, but for yourself. This way you will break your old unfavorable karma as fast as possible. Create lots of good deeds to her to change her, if she tastes your unconditional love, despite all the tortures she did for u, she would finally understand & learn to love & care for u unconditionally. Because now, she might feel disappointed in u, so thats why she let it out in the wrong way.
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2017
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