Hi everyone. I'm not really sure how to begin this topic... well it's about me and my torturer from my past life who reincarnated as my so called "mother". I know for certain that she's been psychic-attacking me and my aunt for quite some time now. Even when we were unaware of her being who she is and did not suspect her at all, she would still attack us mentally without us being even consciously aware of it. This regardless of all the emotional and psychological abuse that she did on me when I was a child, that's another story. Now it's all silent, unspoken and veiled with false smiles. A couple of years ago I had the final confirmation of my suspects. Back in the day I didn't remember anything about my previous identities, but I had the feeling that she killed me, or at least that she had tortured me to the extreme in some other life. One night, as I was trying to sleep, I fell into a state inbetween waking and sleep, in which my mind slipped into a nightmare. My torturer was there, hurting me as always. Somehow I realized that it wasn't a simple dream but a mental attack against me, and I chose to respond. I collected all the hatred, all the rage and all the pain that I could find in myself in that moment (and it was much), and I used that negative energy to manifest a monster that cut my torturer in half. The following day my mother felt sick for no reason, and she needed a shot of some medicine to ease the pain. Call it a coincidence, but to me it was a confirmation of what I had only suspected before... that she was him. Since we both reawakened to our past identities, my aunt and I had more revelations strengthening this belief. I am completely sure that I am right about that, now. With this certainty, my attitude has changed too. I am starting to identify her psychic attacks. I perceive her aura, the way it affects me and my aunt, and the energy that she directs against us. It's a recurring pattern that I have learned to recognize. And the more I recognize it, the more I realize it's real, the more this fills me with grudge. This is the point of the discussion, basically. It's no longer a matter of defending myself. I started to attack her back, whenever I get the chance, simply out of rage and desire for revenge. I visualize the attacks when I am wide awake. When I dream and I meet her in the astral plane, it's never a peaceful encounter. Last time I even entered her own mind and observed her inner world... it was the delirium of a disturbed person with a God complex and a profound desire to kill. I was disgusted by such depravity. And yet I feel like an idiot myself, for being dragged to Hell and accepting the invitation with pleasure. I have the strong feeling that these attacks are taking their toll. She is slowly being consumed by my attacks, and I am being consumed by hers (even though for me it has been for long). The fact is that I didn't even care too much, before I realized that my aunt was being seriously affected by her, and the attacks were manifesting physically on her. When I realized that, I lost it. I have a geyser of white hot rage boiling inside of me and I just want to let it out, let it shape my daydreams and make them real. I know the potential of my mind, but I also know that this war can destroy me, if I let it. From a reasonable point of view, it's just stupid that we are destroying each other like that. Perhaps she wanted to control me with her attacks, but my intentions are different. Now I see red when I see her face. I'm not even sure if it's a matter of attacking or not attacking. I mean, she asked for it... I could have even forgiven her eventually. But no, she never changed. Now I am the one who wants to give her a lesson. It's not even a matter of morality, since she never had her retribution for killing us. It's more of a matter of, how long can I endure this war before my mind falls apart, followed by my body? Because if we keep going this way, we are simply going to consume each other slowly, we are both losers in this game. But I didn't start this wicked game, she invited me to the chessboard and I accepted. I should probably leave her alone for good, but I don't even know when I'll have the possibility to do so. What to do, until then? My instinct tells me to attack. What is your opinion?