Psychic war

Discussion in 'Parapsychology' started by AlexD, May 28, 2017.

  1. Myna

    Myna Humanoid

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    Alex, I wish you all the best in your tough journey, pls remember not to put yourself in the wrong side, it's not a matter of winning physically, but what matters is, think how your soul must escape from such dreadful karma ( again, karma doesnt mean punishment, but a consequence that lead u to dreadful repetitive lessons). Anything that relates to harm, or anything that leads us to feel satisfied if we see others feel suffer like us, or anything that are in such direction, is actually the direction to the darkness, so dont pull yourself down. Hugs for you & be a savior to yourself.

    Note: U said u dont believe in karma, i think u confuse karma as punishment, karma actually means action & reaction to your consequences. Means if u keep doing & thinking of aggresive attack & do crime in your mind, you will unconsciously repeating such behavior in your mind, the more often u repeat, the more it will become a habit, if such scary mind becomes your habit, you will be eventually manifest it into a real action. The more u feed anger/aggressive, the angrier/ more aggresive u are. So this is the real meaning of karma.

    As about your aunt, often when we are close to someone, we just believe to each other & even feel that we are in same boat, all of these are part of reaction of our conscious mind. The best thing leave your aunt out, stop talking such things to each other, better talk about good things, be the hero that save relationship between your aunt & your mom.

    When we are blessed with seeing gift, we should not use it to attack anyone, eventho others might do so, because this way we might lining ourselves to the wrong path & I believe the goal of your life is not to make u into a person who has so much hatred, aggresive even criminal mind. No, no, no, when u feel bad inside u, mean u have picked the wrong path, when u picked the right one, you should feel peaceful & blissful. Maybe u feel good for short time by paying her back, but u will have the need to repeat your harming attitude, pls think carefully, is it your life goal to hurt others back? Is it true that u have to learn to have grudge in others? If u answer with no, pls choose carefully the path u take.

    May i know, where's daddy?
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2017
  2. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    If that is your view of karma, I can agree with that.

    Besides, I'm not leaving my aunt out of anything. She didn't force me into thinking those things about my mother, we simply found some synchronicities in our experiences and helped one another so far. She is not doing any mental harm to anyone. 'Leaving her out' is out of the question. Especially since she needs my support now. At best I could be careful not to fuel the antagonism with my mother or keep it to a minimum.

    And I already stated that I know the path of violence, psychic included, is wrong. I know my ethics.

    Got nothing more to add about all the rest, but I'll think of it.
     
  3. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    P.S. daddy is alcoholic and avoidant personality. The last real contact we had was about a week ago, and he simply complained about my mother ignoring him and living in her own world. As if it was my fault or I could do anything to fix the situation. Normally we (my father and I) don't talk to each other.
     
  4. Myna

    Myna Humanoid

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    Sorry that I didnt explain better, leave her out means not to ignore.

    Ummm look, both of u engange too much conversation in spiritual stuffs, it would b best, u guys help each other in worldly way, so tell her lets not talk about spiritual thing, but just ask aunt, how was her childhood with mom, maybe she has kind of frustration & disappointment towards your mom, again remind her to talk about events in this real world, not spiritually, sometimes it can do magic, if u try to help solve earthly problem, instead of spiritually.

    Feel free to post & ask advice, because I think you are really in very difficult times & need everyone's support.

    I had also very very hard times for so many years, it took me years to understand how mind & ego works in spiritual journey that can cause us psychic atracks. Psychic attacks dont come externally, but more internally, if your mind is confused like wave, it will catch anything that there are on its way & pollute the water with them. So when u see unpleasant things, remember to tell yourself, our true nature is kindness, this is why im born, to learn this term in action in a given body equipped with a brain & personalities with full of conflicts with my soul real nature. Have no fear with what u see, dont raise emotion, stay calm. Tell yourself our negative emotions are not real, u have the option to choose how to react to auch circumstances & if u must choose, then, tell yourself to choose to be the winner, hero or your own good actions. Remember, it's easy to be bad person, to have bad emotions, to have bad thoughts, but it aint easy to be good person, to think always positive, to see always good qualities in others; thus, we were born & engaged in such game. So take everything easy, and say to yourself, no worries, it's just a theater roleplay, i dont have to bother, why I live & waste my time to be mad, disappointed etc. Keep remind your mind this rule.
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2017
  5. Myna

    Myna Humanoid

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    Dad is alcoholic

    May i know more about him? Does he help your mom with house chores? Does he work & support her? How many kids she has? Do u guys have finacial problem? Does dad show that he loves & cares about your mom? Do they fight? Sorry for asking much, but i might can help u understand more about her & why u r in such situation
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2017
  6. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    Well he sometimes washes the dishes and sometimes he cooks something. Yeah they both work. No we don't have any financial problems, we are not a rich family but we are ok. I don't know, they often complain for their lack of communication but otherwise they coexist peacefully. They used to fight A LOT more in the past. My mother asked for divorce when I was about 10, but in the end they didn't divorce. I'm the only child in the family.
     
  7. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    It sounds as though your Mom might feel "trapped", it would be interesting to find out what she had planned for this lifetime.
     
  8. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    I cannot deny that she's not doing fine either. Not that it's a recent thing, she's always been tormented by something all the time since before I was born. Maybe she could, on some more or less unconscious level, remember all the people she tore apart and killed? My aunt and I were not the only ones, there were many. My grandfather (the only mature person in the family) said she was born this way. Or maybe it's all because she's simply insane and it's a biochemical disturb in the brain. Or both.
    All I can remember (even if I have memory gaps in this life) is that I wanted her to be fine but I couldn't help her. That was when I was a kid. And since her aggressive\manipulative behaviour towards me wasn't helping me at all, in the end she made me believe it was all my fault. I struggled with unjustified guilt for years before realizing I had nothing to do with that. This said, she's not fine even now, but she refuses any help. If you read my posts carefully, I already stated that I started with good intentions and I would have forgiven her, if only she let me get past this situation. If she feels trapped it's not anybody's fault (probably not even my father's), but most likely a result of her mental issues. Both my aunt and I remember that our executioner used to be mental back in the day. So yeah, I too wonder what kind of lessons she wanted to learn with this experience. In some apparently absurd possibility, we three might have planned all this together after our deaths. I have good reasons to believe he was executed short after he killed us, for tactical reasons.
     
  9. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    A lot of incompatible couples blame staying together on "it's for the sake of the kids" and the frustration and internal fractures get vented on the kids (which defeats the purpose). You can always tell them that you're fine with it if they ever decide to divorce. They might have some strange hangup on whether it's socially acceptable to divorce with you still there. The tension and resignation of being in a lifestyle they don't want will definitely up their stress responses a lot (as you've experienced with your own tendency to lash out on a psychic level).

    Frankly (to counter the well-meaning advice from those of you who don't seem to have ever been abused by people who actually think they are entitled to abuse someone) ... just getting over being abused by "forgiving them" isn't a solution, especially if you're living with the person and constantly vulnerable to their whims.

    No, being nice to them doesn't fix them. Understanding them doesn't fix them. Doing everything they want doesn't fix them. In fact, these things can actually escalate the abuse. Some mothers actually do want to hurt their children, as unimaginable as it may seem to those of us who would never think that way.

    Knowing the reasons why they're so messed up doesn't change the damage they cause/d. It just helps with letting go the hope that they might act differently of their own free will at some point in the future.... And sometimes offers insight in how to manipulate them into behaving better, for anyone who thinks it's worth the realization that you're becoming like them when treating someone that way, even for a seemingly good cause.​

    So, AlexD ... Yes, you can figure out a mindset that makes you less vulnerable. You can see their behavior as their own choice and having very little to do with you. You can even remove yourself from the situation somewhat both emotionally and mentally by covering or eliminating all the hooks that aggravations and attacks can latch onto. You're already doing a lot of this, I think, and becoming even better at it with so much practice.

    You can become "duck-like" in that everything they try slips off like water off a duck's back while you are left nice and dry (emotionally) on the inside.

    None of these techniques to protect yourself from abuse remove the fact that it takes a lot of energy to do all this. Keeping shields up. Staying uninvolved. Thinking clearly while under attack. It uses up a ton of emotional, mental, and spiritual bandwidth and takes a huge amount of focus and attention away from other useful and beneficial activities. It can even use up ALL of the energy, leaving only the dregs for daily life or figuring out how to escape the situation.

    It's valid to recognize that this situation is essentially equal to knowing someone keeps borrowing your (energy) credit card and paying for their own necessities/stuff without ever reimbursing you. They do it because they can and want whatever they get from that transaction, and you pay and pay and pay...

    Sooner or later you might end up bankrupt, and this is even more likely if you don't have that many skills in setting boundaries they can't penetrate (like having amazing skills at hiding the "credit card" before they can use it, which means it's hard to find when you need it for your own transactions).

    No matter what, accepting that you're losing all this energy to theft isn't going to change the fact that it is happening. Saying "I forgive you," no matter how sincerely, doesn't mean that you get all that energy back all of a sudden or won't be stolen from again.

    So, yes, you can forgive her ... meaning you accept the cost of living with her as--she's going to steal my "credit card" and use it without ever even thinking of repaying me if I stay, and I'm okay with paying that much for rent--But even if you are resigned and willing to pay that cost you're still taking the loss on a regular basis.

    The only solution really is to leave.

    It sounds like you're working toward that, so maybe the temporary solution to your frustration might be to use that energy to fuel even better plans for leaving. Look at options you haven't considered. I know there are jobs that offer an apartment as part of the pay structure out there. People even pay someone to stay in their house so it's not sitting empty while they travel, for example.

    Study alternate lifestyles (anything from people who are voluntarily homeless to those who share rent with larger groups or even those who travel constantly) and learn techniques from how those people live. Put together a plan for yourself and invite your aunt to join you in that process. Maybe you could support each other and survive okay on your own? It's worth considering.

    I'm sorry you're in this situation. Keep looking for answers. I'm sure you'll find them.
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2017
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  10. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    Finally someone who understand the situation. I guess it really takes one who's been through abuse to understand someone else who's been through abuse. No offense for everyone else who kindly posted here.

    And of course you got it right with the energy loss too. You know my mental/physical situation about vital energy, I believe I already told you about it before. You see how much it can eat up my life to redirect my mind continuously. At some point it's easier to let go and let energies take their course. Especially when it comes to the wellbeing and safety
    (because no matter what anyone may think, a psychic attack can cause huge physical harm, especially when it's a habit) of who was my closest friend in my past life and still is the person that I care most about in this life. I do not possess the energy to let this thing flow away and not touch me. If it was just me, I could... I did it for years. But now it's different.
    And my aunt told me pretty much the same things that I was told in this thread. Even if she causes me great harm, don't let your rage overcome you and corrupt your soul. But how? It's not fair. I asked her, what if this aggravates the health issues you already have? And I was told that, even if she died eventually, I'd simply have to go on with my life. It's easy to say that if you are the one who may die. But do you think of who you leave behind? How it would affect me? Is it egotistical to think of it this way?
    Anyway, her faith in God is probably stronger than my own, and she just believes in His plan.

    I'll do what I can to find a way out of the situation. As you said, I've been working towards that already. Thanks for the advice, and for the understanding.
     
  11. Myna

    Myna Humanoid

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    Alex,

    How r u today?
    So your mom also goes to work, then she goes home & still have to do house chores & she has sort of cold relationship with your dad & being hated by u?

    May i know which culture background do u have? The reason I ask is, because culture plays big role how to raise children, in my original culture from my grandma, even my parents had done physical punishment to their childten when they were getting hard times with their kids, they use belt & started slaped on their kids' legs, my big bro & sis, they still experienced this, my time changed no longer so hard, just use rattan duster for bed http://tinyurl.com/ybgyaoan & hit on the hands with palm opened or pulled the ears, and if we dared to answer back or be disrespectful, either got a slap on the head or on the mouth. So most of us tried hard to obey & never answered back, but well it still happened sometimes, coz we were kids & tended to say whatever we had in our mind.

    Anyhow, that's not the matter. What matter is you. How would u like yourself to be? If you set your mind to negativity and tend to hold grudge & revenge, even it was in your mind thru psychic way, it showed somehow that you are starting developing also abusive thoughts/manners WITHIN YOURSELF. Would u like to be an abusive person later in your life? If the answer is no, you must fight your destructive emotion that start growing in you & cultivate more positivity, love & compassion. Only you, can decide which way u wanna go.

    You could also try to reflect about your mom's attitude & yourself, ask yourself whether your mom really has the pleasure to abuse u (sick mind), or she did it because she was out of control (of course I know it's not an excuse to harm others, coz no one is entitled to do so. Even u, u r not entitled to harm your mom back in your mind, even if she was bad to u, but as u could see your frustration & your trauma creeped in your mind & made u lose your control just like her, u are cultivating the abusive attitude inside u already). Before u make too fast conclusion/ judgement, pls pls kindly think, see & reflect carefully surround u 1000 times. Here are some questions that might help you conclude about your mom & yourself:
    - how long ago since the last time u have been abused? Yesterday? Weeks ago? Months ago? Years ago? The difference here is HUGE. If since years ago, what u experience now is more trauma & depression that creeped in your mind & could nvr forget, forgive & still hold grudge. If ppl r blessed with seeing gift, it would b a gift, if they cultivate it wisely, but it would be curse & deeper torment, if they have uncontrolled mind, and prone to create more & more negative thoughts & attitudes that later it wont be only harm others but also harm yourself. Can u imagine if everyone in the whole world remember their past lives, they have been killed by their current son, or mom, or friends, etc. Then, they hold grudge & start killing each other; then, this world doesnt need nuclear battles to start ww3, enough with the battles that happen surround us; then, this world would be a chaos. I wanna remind u something, those who remember or can see PLs or have visions are not experiencing coincidence, but they believe that if u are blessed with this, you can make a change WITHIN YOU, and then, make a huge chage to the world surround you. They believe u can handle such situation, tough obstacles wisely, coz they just believe in your capacity of having big heart/ gold heart. Coz those in spirit world know u better than yourself now, coz they c how u grow & develop from live to live, but abusive matter could be your biggest challenge in your last PL, so u must re experience it.

    - another question to consider, whether your mom absolutely hate u that she loves seeing u being abused by her? Or she is just a young soul & still not sure how react to her life issues? You can observe whether she still does something for u, like give u pocket money from her hard work? Or maybe she bought you furniture like bed, study table, books, tv for your bedroom with her hard earning money? always have your food ready on the table for u to eat when u r hungry? Observe if she still washes & irons your clothes? Notice if she still takes u to doc when u r sick? If she still wakes up early & drive u to school? If u answer all questions above with yes; then, your mom is not completely insane. If she doesnt have a little love to u or learn to love u, she wont be able to carry out these heavy tasks every single day. If she couldnt stand your cry, scream &being treated coldly by your dad & maybe she was bullied herself at work. We have such ppl at work & bullied everyone that made everyone cried & exhausted, I had also a bullied cousin who was jealous at me in his lifetime & gave me hard times in life, but my grandma never understood me & always requested teacher to put him in same class as me for 11 years, plus she always sent him to my house to study together with me, I must admit it drove me crazy, but well.. that's life! Here's sample of parents who really dont love their child at all http://tinyurl.com/zclygn8.
    The gf of my that cousin accidentally has his baby, she didnt want to admit it's her kid, her mom asked her not to abort, so after gave birth, she gave away the baby to her parents, my cousin doesnt love him at all, he didnt bother whether his son alive or not, never give him money, food, nor clothes, nothing, not even visited him & asked if he was born healthily or not.

    - another question, ask yourself whether your energy loss is only her responsibility for it? Or because u cant let go your old trauma & depression & non-stop keep thinking the same issues over n over that you suspect your mom still wants to continue harming u. When u try to forgive, ask yourself whether u really forgive her & tried to create a healthy mom & child relationship as it should be without suspecting & doubting her? Have u tried give your best being a son just like other kids do?

    - i dont know what is fair for u? I mean she provides u with everything u need, but have u been fair to her for her these efforts? Or instead u turned your back, hate her, mistrust her, love your aunt more than to her? Btw does your aunt have kids? Maybe she feels sad, despite what she did, you are never happy to her & dont appreciate her efforts? It made her sad, frustrated, etc. Coz she thought u were her only hope to find love that she never had, but instead you guys are enemies? Sometimes, the outcomes of this life not necessarily from PL, but because we send bad signals to each other, thats why we respond the bad vibration with even worse vibration. Have u guys sat together & talked calmly? Asked why she did that to u? Have u told her your trauma & depression? I tell u this not because she is entitled to abuse u, ofc not, but the same thing, for her, it's not easy to build a good relationship. Who knows your soul is actually older than her and u are given a chance to be her teacher to teach her compassion thru the care & love that you can give to her. Have u thought this could b your mission of life?

    You are really in deep emotional issues, I think it is best u avoid spiritual activities, stop meditating, but try to calm your mind, think more positive things happened surround u, see that u are not at least those ethiopian kids that were abandoned by their parents & must survived alone with no food, no shelter in the heat during tge day, cold & rain at nite http://tinyurl.com/gno3w6d

    Anyway, best solution is like cryscat suggestion, to move out.
    If u have good friends, talk your situation to your friend's parents that u r currently have fam issue, if u could rent a room or share room with your friend & u pay them by helping them with house chores for example washing, ironing their clothes & cleaning their house? I guess, you would prefer this than live with mom. U could also live with your aunt, but it will make your mom even feel hurt more & think why u love her sis more than her, who gave birth u, raised u, feed u everyday, washed your things everyday & took u to doc when u were sick.

    I told u my opinions, all decision is up to u, it's in your hand to decide which life you wanna lead, what kind if personalities of yours would you like to be in the future. It's all matter how u take your today's decision. I feel sad to see family in such issues, because I want my family stays complete, but I dont have this chance anymore, since son left us behind, but those who are still have the chance to make a change, they dont take opportunity to find professional help & fill their family with love & understanding. I meant all of u, aunt mom dad n u

    Keep posting & update us how u finally deal with your mom, it might be my last advice, coz I said everything in my head, but I'm still interested to know how people choose to cultivate their mind in the end, to which direction they choose to make their soul progress. Whether they let their destructive thoughts & emotions take over control of their mind or their mind become the master of their body+ego.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2017
  12. Myna

    Myna Humanoid

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    BTW. If mom still abuses u til nowadays, means she really needs psychiatrist, coz if abusive hapoened only during her toughest time of life, means it was temporarily lose control, but if til now she continues, means she really needs help, have pity on her for her mind sickness, mind sicknes is no difference as physical sickness, like getting cancer, because both are defects but just attack different parts of bodies.

    I see how u love your aunt so much, she must have also worked hard & save money to give u some support, she helped your mom during her pregnancy to care & protect u since u were in her womb, also took care of u since u were born, cook for u, fed u, bought u some milk, let u shelter in her place, wash & iron your clothes, bathed u, brings u to school & pick u up everyday, fund your school, too. Maybe because all these things she does for u, your mom felt useless & frustrated? Why not suggest your mom to visit family therapist?

    Note: your mom might get sick not because of your psychic attack to her, but maybe because she was overly sad seeing her failure in life, hard times at work (she might nvr told u this), problem with dad, being mistrusted & hated by her only child, felt her kid was being stolen by her own sis, felt that she was no better than your aunt, she felt totally failed in everything & it burdens her mind even more & finally get sick. Perfect timing as your vision!
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2017
  13. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I'm having a little trouble with this as I really do know abuse first hand, but I'm a male who grew up in a different time period so there are some major differences. You need to focus on what you want in the future rather than using your energy trying to right the past IMHO.

    You seem to be headed in the right direction as far as moving toward self-support and distancing yourself from the situation. My concern comes from the perspective that your "situation" is a "stimulus", what is of importance is your response to the stimulus rather than the stimulus itself. Trust me, things look a bit different from the other end of your life - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It brings comfort to see that you have taken the "high road" in the past and do not regret your actions at those later times in your life.

    I also would like to know what country you are in in order to better understand what other issues you might have to contend with. And, what degree you are seeking in the six years since you graduated high school - or is this incorrect?
     
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  14. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    My parents never did physical abuse on me. My father did not abuse me either physically or emotionally, basically because he's been mostly absent in my childhood and he didn't really care. My mother did emotional abuse, which includes all the things that I mentioned earlier in a post. I can assure you that it leaves a sign just as much as physical abuse.
    My mother, and my aunt as well, were physically abused by my grandmother. My mother often told me that my grandmother would hit her REALLY hard with a wooden spoon. She told me (probably a hundred times) that one day she BROKE the wooden spoon on her back and forced my mother to go to the shop and buy a new one. So yes, I cannot deny she had her fair share of abuse herself.

    I believe I have already stated that since I stood up for myself and made my mother understand that I am not willing to suffer her arrogant and abusive personality anymore, she hasn't practically emotionally abused me anymore, or if anything it has become rather infrequent. That was a slow progress I made years ago. Let me make this clear again, because we have gone off topic I believe, that this thread is not about ABUSE in itself. To quote what I already wrote in the beginning
    so the point of this discussion is not how much abuse I received, or if I am still receiving it, the point is that I have received psychic attacks and answered them. I want to make clear that a psychic attack cannot be simply perceived with "normal" senses, like physical or emotional abuse, it can be perceived with other senses that go beyond our physical limitations. Then there is the next step, which is when our minds receive the attack, believe it is real (even just subconsciously) and manifest it in the physical body. It has worked this way in both ways.
    And about my mother's attitude and mind, she is a narcissist. This means that she is mentally ill, because narcissism is a mental issue. A narcissist only loves him/herself, and everything that is directed to others and might look like love is just a projection of his or her own desire to be praised or considered a superior being. Narcissists are also very manipulative and they use a variety of mind control techniques to make you believe things that are not true. For example, she made me believe that it was always my fault if she unleashed her rage on me when I was a child... even if I never did anything to deserve it.
    To answer your questions, she provides me with food, buys me clothes and pays for my studies. I am still legally part of the family and since I'm jobless she is obliged to give me food and shelter and pay for my studies, at least this is the law where I live (that is, unless it is my choice to become a bum). Last month I returned to Romania, but she didn't give me a single cent for my trip, it was my grandmother who paid for it, as a present for my birthday. She didn't even care where I was going or how long I was going to stay there, since she didn't even ask. She called a few times, but only because she had to show the rest of the family that she cared. And that is simply the last thing I did that she completely ignored... there were other things in the past. She kept all her old stuff in my room until I turned 22, it was a complete mess and I couldn't even touch her stuff. One day I exploded and threw all her stuff out of the door: it took me three days to do so, given how much junk she had filled my room with. Most of her stuff I threw directly in the trash. Since that day she began realizing that I'm not her toy anymore and she can't control me as she used to do when I was a gullible little kid.
    And I don't cry at her, or scream at her, or make her life a living hell. I've been a very quiet child and a very quiet teen, and now I'm a quiet adult most of the time. I do treat her coldly though, but after all... I find it hard to fake any affection that has already vanished from my side.
     
  15. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    I have already stated, more than once, that I started this life with all the possible good intentions. I DID love her in the beginning and I did my best to show it. But this is the past.
    And no, my mother is not the primary cause of my energy loss. Why? Because my aura has peculiar anomalies that cause constant energy loss by themselves, without anyone's help from the outside. I was born this way, period. And my mother is not drawing energy from me either. I was just saying, as Mere Dreamer also suggested, that focusing my thoughts on shielding myself from her psychic attacks consists in an expense of vital energies, and given that I'm also constantly bleeding lifeforce by my very nature, this really doesn't help with my energy budget.
    This is complicated but it would be far less complicated if she accepted the possibility of being wrong. Accepting this possibility allows confrontation to take place. But a narcissist never accepts to be wrong, let alone be wrong on such important matters.
    Aside from caring for me most of the time, my aunt gave me understanding and the love that I needed from a mother. We were already friends before but the experience of this life strengthened our bond even further. Having someone who really loved me allowed me to cope with the lack of sincere love from my narc mother and gave me the chance to emotionally distance myself from her. Imagine how frustrating it can be for a control freak to lose control over the person she should be best controlled by her, that is, her own daughter.
    I don't exclude this. She was already debilitated on her own when this story started, so perhaps the consequences of my psychic attacks are really minimal. I believe though, that if I eventually won't manage to control myself, all the negativity is going to build up and manifest on her somehow.

    I apologize if I sounded arrogant in my answers, if I did, I didn't mean to. I thank you for the time and effort you put in your replies, even though I may not agree on everything.
     
  16. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    No problem KenJ, I didn't accuse you of lack of understanding. Sure, we all have been through different situations, so my abuse is different from yours.

    Yeah I know that, all things aside, what really matters is how I react.

    I live in south Italy btw. I'm studying Agricultural sciences. Yes, it's been six years, but I lost the first year because I chose another course and things went bad. I changed university after that, and I'm still working on my degree now. It's been a mess because my course was closed right after I started it, and continuing this way has been arduous. But I'm doing my best... or at least I try.
     
  17. baro-san

    baro-san Active Member

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    Sorry AlexD. From your latest details, if you keep thinking and doing as you do now, you'll most likely have to do it again in a next life, plus some added karma.
     
  18. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Hi AlexD,

    I'm coming late to the conversation so if I missed the point I'm sorry. I highly recommend Gregg Braden's books, lectures and workshops.

    I believe that I am responsible for how I choose to feel and how I choose to react. If we look at human history, and the current conflicts within this lifetime; it is apparent that we work very hard to overcome difficulties and darkness. Some people call it evil. Balance should be the goal. Finding one's center is what enables us to overcome the illusion of opposites.

    The scientific laws of energy explain why we work so hard to overcome it - ENERGY FOLLOWS ATTENTION. In other words, if we hate darkness and focus our attention on war, disease and illness -- guess what we are aware of and thus create - in this life and in life after life?

    The key is that while we choose good, and we choose light, we have to also compassionately allow for lights opposite expression. This will lead us to mastering compassion. With it comes responsibilities and personal power. We live in a world of polarities - it is by way of darkness that we come to know -- the light. BUT as Braden states so eloquently below -----------

    "This is not to say that you will not be witness to other's expressions of darkness. Their darkness does not have to become your experience. Hating Lucifer and blaming others for fear and dark experiences provides just the opposite effect to that intended. - Gregg Braden"
     
  19. Myna

    Myna Humanoid

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    I absolutely agreed to Ken J, as I mentioned earlier, you HAVE TO KNOW & FOCUS more what & where u want to be as person & soul in the future, u cant just too much focus on your rage & anger.

    No, no I dont think anything about that u answered me arrogantly, I just want u to see from different perspective from different ppl, this is why we r here, to give opinion & help each other. What would it benefit u by doing so? If u try to defeat negativities with your goodness, you are not only benefitting yourself & creating a good soul in u, u might also able to change your karma & your mom current attitude into more favorable one

    I looked at the kid on the street, why they could be happy just eating 1-2 spoons of rice & use same dirty cloth everyday for a month, but why I wasnt content with my own condition where my parents provided me with everything. When I got more mature, I start undertanding the level of happiness comes from our mind where we set our expectation at certain level, and also depends how much we want to try to understand the circumstances of others; thus, the feeling forgiveness is given & let the past go.

    Everyday we are reborn again, the time when we wake up, so we must learn to start our everyday new life with positive, love & something good even it's hard to do. It's tiring & hard to b a good person, but u reached so far, so MUST not give up. Otherwise, all the sufferings in the past would have gone to waste. It actually matters more for u than more for your mom by being more compassionated to her, coz whatever action u take now, will lead to the future reaction, so if u cant stop creating such hatred in you, u will not only get habit to hate only her, u might fall to hate others for others issues easily coz u have created this habit, and if u keep failing yourself, I hope u wont regret in the future for the outcomes, I just want u to be more future-oriented of your self development into the person u would like to be and hopefully to be a kind person. karma is tricky, if u create really heavy one, u wont be able to escape because life will make sure that u learn the lesson you should.

    Your PL had already showed u that u r repeating being tortured, and now again, so u can see the consistent of this karma wheel, the cycle goes on & on until u are able to break it, so all of us suggest u to b strong, in a way to endure it in positive way & direction, so pls pls stop putting or feeding your mind with such heavy neg things about your mom, coz i think u r doing yourself harm by psychic-attacking your own mind thru lining yourself to low vibration, instead tell your mind that yr mom tried her best to fulfill her duty as mom. If u say, to raise a child is a parent duty, so she owes u this, then, we can say the same, it's our duty as children to respect & love our parents & try to b there for them.

    it is difficult for all of us incl your mom to master each of our own mind & maintain Love, relationship between spouses, that could affect greatly to their children. To b a mom is not an easy job, to b a wife aint easy job either, to b a daughter neither easy, so yr mom actually has so many UNPAID JOBS, other than her paid job, so instead of receiving yr appreciation, she received your punishment. Now, that u r an adult, u are adviced to learn listening & try to understand others better, not just wanted being to be listened. Listening is a powerful tool, it helps u grow your generous heart & let go your desire & expectation if it doesnt go the way u wanted. To live in harmony & happiness, always need sacrifice from all parties. Law of give & take.
    Everyone wants to b happy, so to achieve this we must learn compassion & foregiveness WITHIN ourselves, first of all u must forgive & have compassion to yourself, because u keep torturing & punishing your mind with your traumas, this is the very first step, so let all these go for your sake, then cultivate good relationship with yr mom, then your aunt to your mom and vice versa, then build positive relationship with your dad, once u have good one with him, then create good one him to your mom, slowly and step by step. To achieve a beautiful family, need efforts & sacrifice in the beginning. Try to have pity on your mom coz she had been physically & mentally abused by your grandma, (at least she didnt physically abused u as she knew it was something bad, she tasted it), but she's still unskillfuly control her emotion & let it out on u, then, your dad treated her coldly, there's no more love left for her, u r her only child? Then, have u ever thought thats it's your duty to be there for her? If u cant help her with her issue, at least try not to add more heavy vibration in your relationship.

    Have u heard that lotus flowers grows beautifully in muddy water, our soul and personalities should b like that, no matter our surrounding is muddy & dirty, we MUST RESIST to grow beautifully.

    Can u imagine, if everyone in this world has no endurance & easily lose self-control, when they get hit or mobbed, then they take revenge and murder that person, or when someone is desperate for eating a yummy food but no money, and just ignore consequences & go steal or rob in order to obtain what they desire & dont care rest of ppl, then this universe would completely fall into darkness, no more peace, no more love.

    I want u to be happy, just start as suggested above. U could join student exchange & live with au-pair. One day, u will understand & eventually will repay your parents' kindness despite it is parents duty to finance our life like as u said above as long as we are small, but we are human, we understand that we dont just take, but also should know how to give, if u cant give material, its best u gift your parents your respect, your love because this all we have to learn in our reincarnation.

    All ppl who join in this forum must have experienced tough life issues & thus they believe in reincarnation more than everyone else. So pls take our advice not as offence nor conflicts. Anyway, all the best alex. U live in italy, u could join au pair student exchange in swiss-italian part plus your english & your schengen visa, so you could even go to any other european country without problem, all u need just a gut to be single fighter & fight for your life alone, But to live on your own & feed yourself aint an easy life either, but at least u cant blame anyone for your tough moments in your life.

    I wanna ask, how long has yr granddad become jobless, if so many years already; then, yr grandma saving should be thin, coz without re-earning, the money would b used up, especially yr aunt live with them, there's possibility your parent also help your grandma; thus, yr grandparents & aunt depends on their resources, too. It's really burden for yr parents if they must have finance so many ppl, plus money for grandad treatment.

    If the house u n yr grandma live rented or own property? If it's own property & all hypotheke paid means it's not that heavy for yr parents, but if rented or not yet finished paid, then, it's really hard to pay for 2 houses. Why cant u understand it's a huge burden for yr parents to support so many ppl? Mom cant give u money for your holiday, coz it's heavy for her already, your grandma paid for u, coz she has received from yr parents, so she thinks it's her job to keep u happy & paid yr holiday instead of yr mom. U know parents dont always tell their problem to kids, but the stress still there, coz hard to control emotion. Stressful ppl r highly sensitive, so if u provocated yr mom patience, she might get easily explode. U currently have 2 jobs/titles now, being a kid to yr mom & student, carry these tasks positively & well, one day if u r a parent & have been working too, u will know about all these challenges. U still havent gone thru this ahead of u, so maybe u dont know the difficulties of others; thus, dont understand why yr mom react not nice to u.

    PS: Deborah gave u good sources of reading
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2017
  20. xtriggerman

    xtriggerman New Member

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    I think you need to look outside your self and then come back around to who you are in a spiritual sense. The hint here is some what overlook when you said, your aunt believes its all up to God's plan. And that plan IMO, is that you may first need to get a grip on a fixed definition (yet undefinable) and belief in God. You are a part of God and have a direct thread to his core via the emotional context of Love. Meditate on it, Pray on it (together with your aunt), Once you develop a true belief that God is the undeniable supreme force in all creation AND you can be a glimmer of that pure force when ever need be. The word "faith" is bantered about in religious circles quite a lot and its practice can be accomplished with out knowing a single passage of any ones bible. Once you understand the "Light" it can be your shield and you will learn to give it in a way that heals those that are ready to be healed. If what you say is true, I agree with the other posters with leaving is the best way out and symbolically shake the dirt off your shoes when you step away for the last time. This world is home turf to much negative energy and its there for a reason. Your direct infliction with it is your path to dig deeper than most have a desire to do so. Use that desire as you are now using it here to become that glimmer...... and some day maybe a star system of your very own. Nothing is impossible once you become light. Its has no fixed physical shape yet can be...... Good Luck on your journey.
     
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