Rafael from Argentina

Discussion in 'Member's Memories - Archive' started by Alexnovo, Dec 31, 2008.

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  1. Alexnovo

    Alexnovo Senior Registered

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    I am new to this forum and wish to share a personal story and perhaps get reaction and/or advise. I am in my mid 40s, born and raised in the U.S. My family is all of English background but since I was a small boy I was fascinated with Argentina. I even remember in 3rd grade or 4th grade when we were assigned to do a presentation about another country, I did mine on Argentina (I was the only student who chose a Latin American country.) I have read other post written by people about feeling homesick for a place they had never been and those post are very similar to my experience. While I will not say that I thought about Argentina constantly, from time to time, through the years my thoughts would return to it. Something kept coming back to me that I needed to go there. Once again I have no family connection with the country and never met anyone from Argentina until recently.

    A few years ago, I was thinking about taking a vacation (considering Spain, France, Italy etc) and it occurred to me in the middle of the night - go to Buenos Aires. I got up at 3am and almost as if it was a compulsion, I booked a flight. When I arrived in Argentina, much was unfamiliar, but not in the same way that other countries I had visited were. I felt an immediate connection, and found myself knowing instinctively where things were. Not everything mind you, I still needed a map, but several times I could sense what was around the corner. The more I gave in to it and just went on instinct the more I felt as if I had been there before. I also felt comfortable, like I was home. I have no other way of describing it. After that visit, I returned a couple of times and the feelings just grew. Last summer, I was able to arrange a year off from work in the States and am now living in Buenos Aires improving my Spanish, making friends and enjoying the city.

    A few weeks ago, I was with several Argentinian friends, one of whom is moving to a new house in a neighborhood of Buenos Aires called Saaverda. The conversation was typical, things about the house, the cost, the move etc. Nothing special. At some point in the conversation, someone asked an off handed question, “Saaverda, who was Saaverda?” My friends said they recognized the name but couldn’t remember who he was. I said, without thinking, “I believe he was the Foreign Minister.” My friends were a little astonished with me, the gringo, knowing (or claiming to know) such a thing. In truth I was astonished as well. So much so that we looked it up on the internet. In truth, I was partially wrong, but also partially right. Carlos Saavedra was Argentina’s Foreign Minister in the early 1930s - so in that I was right. I was wrong in that the neighborhood was actually named for that Saavedra’s great great grandfather. But to me I am still amazed that I somehow knew of this diplomat from 80 years ago. Is it possible that I read about him, and the information was stored somewhere in my mind? Yes. I discovered that he did win the Nobel Peace price in 1936. But I still doubt it. I am well educated and an University Professor, but International relations is not my subject and I truly cannot imagine how or where I would have read about him. And if I had read about him sometime and put it in my subconscious I suspect I would have remembered him as a Nobel Prize winner not as Foreign Minister. I think of it this way, today in the US, most people recognize Condelessa Rice’s name, because she is in the news. But ask who was Herbert Hoover’s Secretary of State, and you’ll get a lot of blank faces. After this experience I am wondering if maybe my entire attraction to Argentina is a past life memory. Maybe I was living here in the 30s. Saaverdra’s name would have been in the news and I would therefore have heard it. Also, the city is very familiar to me - but not the modern skyscrapers of Puerto Madero (all built recently) but the older neighborhoods that have been here since the 30s and before, I seem to know them. There are certain places in the city that when I go to them I am filled with emotion, usually happiness but also a sad longing of loss. This is especially true in one park. It is nothing specific like a specific memory of an event or of persons; it is just the emotion. Until recently I never thought of my attraction to Argentina as being about a past life, now I am beginning to wonder. I have no idea, how to even begin exploring this possibility. Any thoughts, comments or suggestions would be appreciated.

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  2. Alexnovo

    Alexnovo Senior Registered

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    Thanks for the references


    I'll check them out. As to your specific question as to what first made me think that this could be a past life memory, I have to say that I am not completely sure. A different times in my life I have had the feeling that I lived before. My mother has told me that as a child i was always a 'little adult.' So I guess I have always been open to the idea that I lived before, but I usually shrugged the feeling off and moved on; but that feeling keep coming back. As I said in the post I have also always a had a strong connection with Argentina and an urge to come here. A different points in my life I have also experienced deja vu, but since coming to Buenos Aires those deja vu experiences have multiplied. I guess I would say that I was always open to the idea of past lives, and when I began to experience the things I have mentioned here in Argentina, I began to think of possible explanations for the feelings and the idea of a past life came to my mind. I don't know if that answers your question, but I am not sure what else to say.


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  3. Alexnovo

    Alexnovo Senior Registered

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    Since my last post to this topic, I have tried the tapes several more times. Mainly I just feel relaxed, but tonight I had an interesting experience. I saw myself. Unlike the last time when I was wearing work boots and dirty wool pants, this time I was clean and had on nicer (not fancy) clothes. I could see my reflection for an instant and I looked to be in my 30s or 40s. I had a mustache and parted my hair in the middle. If I had to put a time period on the clothing and style I would say somewhere between 1900 and 1920 - although I could be off a bit. I found myself in a room, the room was filled with dark wood and had table. My feelings tell me it was a private place for me (like a study or office) but the images are also like a dining room. The room was filled with a dark red glow. I don’t think the room was painted red, I just got the sensation of a red glow. I was very anxious and I could see myself trying to hide something in a wooden box. The box was about the size of a jewelry box, although it did not have jewels in it, it had papers. I was trying to put something in the box and close it quickly and was fumbling to close the box. I could see someone else in the room, but this image was blurred with white light. Something like the image you get with a camera on a slow shutter speed when something moves quickly through the view - like a white smudge of movement. I had the since that this other person was invading my privacy. I say this because it was not the kind of feeling you get when you think someone is trying to steal from you, my feeling was that someone is trying to spy on me (I am not sure I am making myself clear). The entire scene was very vivid and I wanted to stay and observe more, but (and this is the problem with tapes) as I was observing the scene, the voice on the tape pulled me out and brought me back.


    As I said in prior post I am relatively new to this, so I am unsure what to make of it all.


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  4. Alexnovo

    Alexnovo Senior Registered

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    An update on my experiences with the tapes. Since my last post I have used the tapes several times most without much more than just a few glimpses that cannot even be described, at least as of yet. There was one interesting memory of my current life's childhood, which I will mention later. But tonight, I had a very interesting experience. As I was relaxing, and indeed before the tape even attempted to take me back I was overtaken with some very vivid memories. For those of you who remember my prior post, I do not yet know what was in the box, nor was these memories at the same point in time. I was much younger than I had been in the prior memories (in my early 20s). This time I could get a much better look at myself and can say several things. I was looking at myself (I guess in a mirror) and kept focusing on my eyes. They were brown but there was something about them that shone brightly. Even when I tried to look at other parts of my body, my attention kept coming back to these eyes. I can still see them as I type this. They were not sad nor were they happy, but they were very inquisitive. My face was very smooth and clean shaven. Despite being younger, I can say that this face was the same person at a younger age that I experienced in the room with the box (from my last post). My clothes were strange. Everything I experienced before had me dressed in dark clothes. This time I was in much more festive clothing, and I felt very conscious of it, as if I was dressing for an important event and wanted to look my best. I know nothing of the history of men's fashions, but what I was wearing seems very strange. I was in a suit. The blazer had broad stripes, white and blue. I also had on white pants and had a white flat brim hat. I remember specifically debating whether I should wear a yellow tie. As I say, my current knowledge of men's fashions is limited but this wardrobe seems very outlandish to me. Does anyone know if this type of dress was in style, and if so when. I will do some research on it. There were three other things that I can report. I asked myself the date, and while I didn't get a year, I was clearly aware that it was October 21st. I asked where I was and the name San Rafael came to me. Additionally The name Miguel kept coming to me through out the experience. I do not know if I was Miguel or if that was someone that I knew in the life. It is all very exciting and strange at the same time. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.


    As an aside, I will mention one other thing that happened in another use of the tapes last week. Often when I mediate I try to go back in my childhood in this life as a halfway point in the process. Last week, I mediated and remember myself at about 5 or 6 sitting in my grandmother's house (she lived on a farm in Texas). I was in the kitchen and my grandfather was sitting at the table. My aunt, who is 9 years older than me was there. I asked my grandfather which direction was South America and he laughed and told me it was to the south and pointed. I then asked if the road by the house went south and he said it did. I then got up and left the room and eventually the house and began to walk down the road. I walked for a long time. I remember my grandmother and aunt picking me up in her car. My grandmother was very upset and asked where I was going and I said home. This was a strange memory that I had completely forgotten. After the mediation I contacted my aunt and asked her if she remembered the event. She said that she did. I know it is not a past life memory, but for me who has always felt that I belonged in Argentina, it is an interesting confirmation that those feelings go back further than I had remembered.


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  5. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator Staff Member

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    Good work Alex.


    You are getting the hang of this aren't you?


    The clothing sounds to me like the 1920s. Stripy jackets, white pants and pastel colours was much more 'in' for men back then, especially for special, social occasions. The hat sounds a bit like a boater?


    [​IMG]


    If this is not right, try a Google image search on 'striped blazer' or similar and see if anything looks close?


    There is a San Rafael in Mendoza, which is not far from Buenos Aires. My tango teacher comes from there funnily enough. :)


    This would all seem to make sense with a Spanish name, like Miguel. It could well be, that if this particular memory is from Argentina that your psyche also dug up a memory from your childhood of when you wanted to go 'home', maybe back to San Rafael?


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  6. Alexnovo

    Alexnovo Senior Registered

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    Tanguerra: thanks for the photo of the stripped blazer. Yes the clothes I was wearing are very much like that and it definitely was a boater hat (I looked them up and the hat I had in the regression was definitely a straw boater). I am going to do some internet searches on the blazer etc to really get a good look at them.


    As to San Rafael, Mendoza ( I looked that up after I posted last night and was amazed. From what I saw online, I got some very clear feelings of familiarity with it. It is also interesting that I and my friends have been discussing taking a trip next month (they are interested in the sea shore) and I have been insisting we go to Mendoza to visit the wineries (the province of Mendoza is famous for that). I wonder if it has been a memory coming through that has pushed me in that direction.


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  7. Alexnovo

    Alexnovo Senior Registered

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    An interesting find. In my regression I was definitely dressing for a special occasion and wanted to look my best. While I could not remember the year, I knew the date (21 October). As this seemed important, I searched that date to see if it is some sort of holiday in Argentina that might explain why I was so concerned with looking good. While the 21st is not in and of itself a holiday, the 3rd Sunday in October is Mother's Day here. As October falls in Spring in the Southern hemisphere the day is (at least currently) celebrated with picnics and other outdoor events - which also seems to fit with the light colors I was wearing. I checked and the 21st of October was the third Sunday in 1894, 1900, 1906, 1917, 1923, 1934. i am still checking to see when Argentina began celebrating Mother's day. In Europe and the US it goes back to the 1870s but I have to find out when it was adopted here. I am unsure whether this is why I was dressing up, but it is an interesting theory.


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  8. Alexnovo

    Alexnovo Senior Registered

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    An update since my last post. Once again most attempts have resulted in just a few glimpses and while I have recorded them, I will wait to post them until they make more sense. Tonight however, as i meditated, I had an interesting experience. I was back in the same body that I have mentioned before. I asked myself to look in the mirror and as I did, it was a strange feeling. It was almost as if the me of that life was aware that I, in the present, was watching him. I would say that this time I was in my late 20s or early 30s. My hair was parted in the middle and I was clean shaven. I had on a bow tie, and a dark brown blazer. Once again I had the straw hat, this time in my hand. I looked at the hat and spent a large amount of time examining it. I looked inside it, and saw the label. It had two sticks or poles making an 'X' but with the crossing point close to the bottom (i.e. the place the two sticks met was not in the center but close to the bottom of the 'X'. There were also words - in an arch across the top and centered at the bottom. I tried to make them out, but could not. The emphasis on the hat was very intense, as if the me in the past was saying this is important.


    Additionally in the room with me, but paying me no attention, was a an older woman going about her business. She had a dress with a design around the collar and neck, made of small beads. Her hair was grey and was put up not in a bun, but in a manner that it was almost like a hat symeterically over her head. (I don´t think that makes since, but I do not know how to describe it.) I did draw it, and tomorrow I will look it up to see if that style has a name.


    Anyway, I wanted to keep everyone posted and also to thank them for all of the help they have provided.


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  9. Alexnovo

    Alexnovo Senior Registered

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    An update on my regressions. Since my last update to this thread, I have discovered a couple of new bits of information, that I thought I'd post. Last night I found myself flooded with emotions as I regressed. I was back in the same body from the prior posts. I was in my mid to late 20's. I asked the year and was directed to a calendar saying 1928. It was a hot Summer day and I was dressed in light pants, a white shirt, bow tie, and suspenders. (No hat) I was in the garden of the same house where in an earlier regression I was in the red room with the box. I don't know how I know that it was the same house, I just do. I could even since where that room was, although I didn't revisit it. The garden was of a medium size. The house was to one side. There was a tile terrace adjoining the house., then a patch of green grass followed by a tall hedge of bushes or closely placed trees that enclosed the space. While I could not see beyond the garden, I got the strong impression that the house was on a farm and that on the other side of the trees was a grain silo.


    There was a party going on - it could have been a family get-together or something. I was in the garden, with about 10 other men. Some were sitting, but most were standing, smoking, drinking. If there were women at this party, they were elsewhere, as I saw no women. Two of the men caught my attention. One was man in his mid to late 30s who was loudly talking and commanding the attention of the others. I got the impression that he was a brother or uncle. I also got the feeling that I didn't like him very much. The second man was about my age. I know he and I were very close and romantically involved. I got the feeling that I had done something to hurt him. He was quite sad and his sadness enveloped me. He seemed to be imploring me to do or say something. The next part is a little unclear. I heard the name "Rafi" or "Rafa." While I think that it was him calling me, it was a little unclear. It could have been me calling him. "Rafi" and "Rafa" are nicknames for Rafael. In a prior regression I had thought I was called Miguel and that I was from San Rafael. Those two names came to me at about the same time. Now I wonder if I misinterpreted them and that I was Rafael. It is also possible that he is Rafael and that I am Miguel. All of this is a bit confusing. Throughout this process I got the sense that something bad had happened or was about to happen.


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  10. Alexnovo

    Alexnovo Senior Registered

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    I want to apologize for taking so long to get back and post responses to comments on this thread. I have been on vacation and did not have sufficient time to compose thoughtful responses. I will say that in addition to giving me some needed relaxation, my trip gave me some valuable insight into my prior life here in Argentina. I went to Mendoza, a city in the west of the country at the foot of the Andes. I have previously talked about my feeling about Buenos Aires (a sense of knowing the city as I was first exploring it) and this feeling was even stronger in the city of Mendoza and the surrounding countryside. For many years, I have a series of reoccurring dreams set in a place where I and the others inhabitants are obsessed with planting trees to protect us from the wind and to create almost a new microenvironment. I had never connected these dreams to my past life here in Argentina, until I went to Mendoza. The city is in a high desert, but over the years, the people have planting literally millions of trees, and feed them through a series of open water irrigation channels (a technique I now know was learned by the Spaniards from the Native Americans in the region. The result is a city that is literally almost forest like. It was amazing. Every comer I turned while there, gave me a feeling of being home and at peace. I was also, without a map, able to know where plazas and other sites were. It was truly amazing. I do not yet know exactly how to explain it, but I am certain that at least a major part of my prior life here in Argentina was spent in Mendoza.


    Lizzi – as to Saavedra (after the whole incident I described in the first post, I did do some research and read about the Saaverdra from the Primera Junta (indeed that was Carlos Saavedra’s great grand father). As to whether I have had more than one prior life here, I do not know. Something to explore.


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  11. Alexnovo

    Alexnovo Senior Registered

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    Since my last update, I have had a number of memories restored from this life. First, while there was some confusion in some prior regressions I am now clear that my name was Rafael, but that I was called Rafa by some friends and Rafi by others. My most recent mediations have taken me back to the red room with the box, that I had mentioned in a prior post. This time some more details became clear. I remember being in the room, once again the room had a reddish glow to it, but this time I was able to realize that the glow came mostly from the way the sun entered the room and bounced off the dark reddish brown wood of the rooms paneling and furniture. I saw my reflection in the window once again and was the same man, with parted hair and a mustache that I have described before. I would place my age between 30 and 35. The room was a study or sort of home office where I kept my papers and other things. On the desk I could see an open diary or agenda. It was open so that two dates, on opposite pages were visible. They were 18 and 19 Diciembre 1934 (the diary was definitely in Spanish). Next to the agenda was the box I had seen in a prior regression. It was closed. I tried many times in my conscious mind to will my old self to open the box. It didn´t happen. However, a woman whom I recognized as my mother entered the room. I say I recognized her as my mother because I just knew that is who she was, if that makes any sense. Anyway she entered the room and I became very agitated and upset. I don’t know why, but I didn’t want her there or I didn’t want to see her at that time. I do not know. After she entered the room, I remember becoming very upset and then everything in the mediation just stopped. It went no further. I have tried several times to go back to this point and on several occasions I have had memories of the same things I mentioned above but can never beyond this point.


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