To further elaborate, I left my last life sorely unresolved. I've jumped into this life which has no resemblance to that life and lived sheltered, and hidden and trying to get as far away as possible from who I was as Terry. Even doing activities that Terry enjoyed I've run from (for example, I started running track when I was around 8-9 and stopped because I recall it triggering pain in me, it was an all girls club and I hated the girls and how they were -- lo and behold Terry also ran track and was good at it -- found it in a newspaper clipping). Everyday ask myself why I chose this, why? My mother who knows of Terry tells me this is my karma because I left my family behind in my last life. My karma to live out my lives miserable, and live not according to my nature. Now can't see a way out, and am having to go under crises control because I'm at risk of taking my own life. How does it feel to have to mention to a complete stranger that you are 50-50 on ending it all? It feels like you might imagine it. This is the truth of it. I say to you Kenz, get some proper help (meaning not a group of strangers on a forum -- but folks who can help) & don't be like me. You are young, and you have your life ahead of you. I'm 28 and done a lot of damage, and have three kids to think of so that I don't end up ruining their lives.