Trying to figure out who I truly am...

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Shaina Murphy, Dec 7, 2018.

  1. Shaina Murphy

    Shaina Murphy New Member

    Dec 7, 2018
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    Hello everybody. I am new here and looking for input of any kind..
    For a little while now, I have been trying to figure out who I was in my past life. I have tried to figure out from guides in dreams/meditation, numerology and recalling childhood and noticing patterns of interest (no luck)
    As a child (2-4), I was scared and anxious of everything. I could not speak about this. I always felt trapped inside my body unable to vocalize or cry like a normal child. This makes me wonder if there is something traumatic in my pl ? To this day, (I am 22) I have a little trouble expressing myself verbally. Mostly because I don't want people to see my emotions as weakness. When my grandfather was dying (3 Months ago), I was too coward to open up my heart and tell him how much I truly loved him. We lived under same roof my whole life. I was never estranged from him.
    Ever since I was alittle child, about 4, I LOVED astrology, I dont even know how first discovered it...But I used to always ask my mom my sun sign and would rely on it for everything. When I about 14, I learned how to read charts.
    I love giving tarot readings and enjoy teaching others about spiritual topics, including reincarnation however I am reaching a crossroads with myself!!!
    I have also been trying to figure out karmas from previous lives. I have trouble telling the difference on whether or not my current lifetime problems are karmas or just regular problems/quirks. A lot of my issues come with religion and traditions tied to them.One of which is I was raised in a Catholic family all through catholic school I’d argue with the teachers and get angry when they couldn’t answer my questions. Also for what it is worth, I hate Christmas, the holidays put me in such a bad mood (including thanksgiving, it's just over the top)
    When I was younger, I alwayyyys wanted a Star of David necklace, kippahs, menorahs, etc. My family thought I was crazy for feeling attracted to Jewish symbolisms, since we were catholic. I just never really connected. During Christmas season I used to make jokes to those who say Merry Christmas by replying with "I am Jewish" I connect more than if I were to say "I am catholic". I don't know if this could mean anything, but my name is Shaina, which is a hebrew/Jewish name. There is a theory that before we carnate into this world, we name ourselves....hmm.

    I guess long story short is: How do I know if something is me, in this life with a quirk? Or old past life tendencies coming through? I am a vivid dreamer, but I cannot tell if it is a dream or a pl dream! same when I meditate, is it just a thought or pl thought.. so now i am not sure if I am over analyzing or if I am kind of at the beginning of a puzzle? I am confused!
  2. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

    Jul 16, 2018
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    I like that you didn't agree with and didn't like the church as I was once bit of a pastors aid for some years but ultimately the church didn't provide the answers nor the support that I needed, I call the catholic and protestant churches the small box as they cut God out long ago for tradition and the dry reasoning of man. Learning of the lost books not only made be angry but also sad that so much has been lost, you can find reincarnation in both testaments but one has to get kinda smart to find which scriptures as they can be red so easily in the traditional way where the meaning is overlooked. As for the quirks they are one of the easiest signs of PLs and they get overlooked in normal life.
  3. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

    Feb 25, 2018
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    Hi I know how it feels to not completely know yourself. I would suggest instead of looking back to a possible past life to determine who you really are get more in touch with who you are now. I would suggest mindfulness meditation and journaling as the best ways to get to know yourself.
  4. Thyme

    Thyme Active Member

    Oct 7, 2018
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    Hi, Shaina Murphy, thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    Like you, I also felt the same confusion, and in fact, I tried to look for signs of past lives in my birth chart. I had memories, but I could not identify any peculiarity until I began to meditate deeply.

    About karma, I personally do not believe in karma. I think that past lives are important in our present life, but I don't think that we are on earth to receive a punishment or a reward (Maybe I am wrong). Sometimes the problems that happen are normal problems that are present in any life, but other times there are problems, thoughts or peculiarities that are connected to past lifes!

    I don't know if we choose our names, at least in my memories I didn't choose my name, only my body, the people close to me and some situations. It's like when you want to study at the university and they give you an overview of what you're going to study. It's a bad example, I know.

    A diary is a good idea. You'd better start connecting with yourself now. Meditating and writing your thoughts is very important. Interesting fact: Many people have found out details of past lives by writing stories. A friend wrote a story where she invented the main character. When she went to a psychologist for a regression, she discovered that she was the main character in her novel. It's a good exercise.
  5. Daniel

    Daniel New Member

    Dec 7, 2018
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    Heya, Shaina

    Thank you for sharing, finding ones identity, especially in today's society is a very difficult thing. I have recently started writing my thoughts, ideas and beliefs, the clarity of thought it offers is remarkable (for me atleast) and through this process, I secure my identity and build on it. I believe our souls do repeat the cycle in this universe, and like when we teach our kids to become better versions of ourselves, our genetics and souls also have sub-conscious effects that are past down through past lives our souls have lived.

    I think chasing something when you were in another time too much, will make it very difficult to find your own identity in this time. Build on what you have and the knowledge will come.

    Karma is a force as there must be balance but it cant be wielded.
  6. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

    Jun 6, 2018
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    Hello Shaina,

    welcome to the forum.
    As others already said: where it comes from, is not important. What matters is what you want, believe and think now, from your heart.

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