Hello everybody. I am new here and looking for input of any kind.. For a little while now, I have been trying to figure out who I was in my past life. I have tried to figure out from guides in dreams/meditation, numerology and recalling childhood and noticing patterns of interest (no luck) As a child (2-4), I was scared and anxious of everything. I could not speak about this. I always felt trapped inside my body unable to vocalize or cry like a normal child. This makes me wonder if there is something traumatic in my pl ? To this day, (I am 22) I have a little trouble expressing myself verbally. Mostly because I don't want people to see my emotions as weakness. When my grandfather was dying (3 Months ago), I was too coward to open up my heart and tell him how much I truly loved him. We lived under same roof my whole life. I was never estranged from him. Ever since I was alittle child, about 4, I LOVED astrology, I dont even know how first discovered it...But I used to always ask my mom my sun sign and would rely on it for everything. When I about 14, I learned how to read charts. I love giving tarot readings and enjoy teaching others about spiritual topics, including reincarnation however I am reaching a crossroads with myself!!! I have also been trying to figure out karmas from previous lives. I have trouble telling the difference on whether or not my current lifetime problems are karmas or just regular problems/quirks. A lot of my issues come with religion and traditions tied to them.One of which is I was raised in a Catholic family all through catholic school I’d argue with the teachers and get angry when they couldn’t answer my questions. Also for what it is worth, I hate Christmas, the holidays put me in such a bad mood (including thanksgiving, it's just over the top) When I was younger, I alwayyyys wanted a Star of David necklace, kippahs, menorahs, etc. My family thought I was crazy for feeling attracted to Jewish symbolisms, since we were catholic. I just never really connected. During Christmas season I used to make jokes to those who say Merry Christmas by replying with "I am Jewish" I connect more than if I were to say "I am catholic". I don't know if this could mean anything, but my name is Shaina, which is a hebrew/Jewish name. There is a theory that before we carnate into this world, we name ourselves....hmm. I guess long story short is: How do I know if something is me, in this life with a quirk? Or old past life tendencies coming through? I am a vivid dreamer, but I cannot tell if it is a dream or a pl dream! same when I meditate, is it just a thought or pl thought.. so now i am not sure if I am over analyzing or if I am kind of at the beginning of a puzzle? I am confused! THANK YOU.