Unique Situation

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by RunningWind92, Aug 9, 2017.

  1. RunningWind92

    RunningWind92 New Member

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    I am so grateful and happy that I found this forum. My name is Laura and I’m 24 years old. I feel compelled to share this with you all, all of whom I believe without a doubt, would understand or at least sympathize with my predicament. I’m a little hesitant to share my story, mainly because I’ve only told this to therapists and people who I felt could be trusted. This may be long, but I hope you will read this to the end.

    Let’s start with the beginning of my life. I was a very unusual child because I actually felt content to behave and be surrounded by my loved ones. My sister was another matter entirely. She was and still is a rebellious spirit, who did not behave and always ran far ahead of my family members when we were walking down the street. She craved independence and not being contained. I actually felt that the repercussions of my actions, if I did run away, would make them sad – and I didn’t want the ones that I loved to feel sad. So I always behaved and did what was asked of me. The second unusual aspect of my person when I was a child, that still follows me to this day, is the feeling of restlessness. The restlessness, to be precise, was that I lost someone or something. I was always emptying boxes of toys, looking for the one toy I had ‘lost’. And even when I found the designated toy I was looking for, it still would not pacify me. In addition, I would frequently say, as a five year old, that I miss the old days. What that means is in question. Furthermore, in 1997, when Princess Diana was killed, Elton John came out with a song called Candle in the Wind and my family owned a cassette tape of it that I would play repeatedly. I would sit by myself in front of the cassette player, listening and rewinding multiple times with tears down my face and not knowing why. Also, I’ve always had a distinct longing for the past. Even today, my fashion style would be described as vintage, because I always wear tops with floral prints on them as well as lace. Finally, I can say with certainty that I was always drawn to the performing arts. When operas and ballets would come on TV, my sister wouldn’t have the patience to sit through an entire performance, but I would stare at the TV transfixed.

    Now we go to 2009, eight years ago, where the restlessness gathered momentum and began to reveal itself in ways that became more tangible to me. Some of the details I am not going to mention here, mainly because I feel they are difficult to understand, but I will include what I feel is relevant. Feeling a sense that I wasn’t alone, I began to visit psychic mediums who told me the same description of a spirit who was my constant companion. For how long, I never knew. They would just explain that a seven foot tall, massively muscular man in Victorian clothing was always with me, loved me, and was very protective. Many of them did not know how or why he came to be with me. It was a mystery beyond mysteries. Many of them urged me to forget about this man. His presence, they could not deny. Every mediumship session I attended, his was always there. He came across as determined to make himself heard, proclaimed his withstanding love for me, and one medium, who did a tarot card reading for me, even said that in my last life, I died before him and he had to live on without me – but also, that he was coming back for me. She didn’t explain how. During these years, I became very spiritual. Because I could not see, hear, nor touch this man who knew me, I tried to connect with him through nature. I spent hours outside in nature, listening to the leaves rustle in the wind, feeling the earth under me, listening for his voice. Any source of nonverbal communication was vital to this unique relationship I wanted so much to bloom. So, for eight years, I clung and held onto the belief that this was the cause of my childhood restlessness, my teeming fear to take a risk and lose someone I loved by an act of recklessness. During these years, I filled countless notebooks with my writing expressing longing for this spirit, and in relaxed states, I would draw myself as a ballerina with a long braid cascading down her back, a ribbon tied at the end of it. Sometimes I would draw the same girl on a cobblestone street walking arm in arm with an extremely tall and muscular man wearing black. It would always be winter, because I had the sense I was wearing a coat and that it was cold. And then I would draw the same girl at a pier, about to get on a boat, and the same man, standing against a building with his arms crossed, a sad or angry look on his face.

    During this time, I met an older woman who seemed like a second mother to me and a very good friend. She claimed to be able to sense spirits and told me the same description of the very large man by my side. For three years, I would ask her what does this man look like? I would find celebrities who I thought resembled him and each one she turned down. The physical characteristics didn’t match. Finally, I stumbled upon a wrestler who was seven feet and over 400 pounds. I showed her a picture of him and her eyes lit up saying “that’s him!” I was flabbergasted. The celebrity I showed her was the biggest human being I had ever seen in my life. During the time we spoke, she had given me a day, a time and a place where the paths would cross of me and this reincarnated Victorian man. The day came and went, and nothing transpired. Furthermore, I went back to one of the mediums I felt was very reputable and concrete. To my surprise, the medium was no longer able to sense this spirit with me. In concern, he told me that he was always at my disposal if I ever needed someone to speak to. Which was strange because it was he who wrote on a paper for me, about this Victorian man describing him as a “gentle giant”. And now, I bring us to this day, where the feelings of restlessness and loss have not diminished but have grown almost uncontrollable in their intensity. Mainly of this is due to the fact that I met that wrestler that my friend had told me those years ago that the spirit resembles so highly.

    It was a mild, overcast day in August of last year. Prior to this, I had been learning all that I could about this wrestler, and each video I watched of him, I felt a sensation of familiarity and tears would always fill my eyes when I would look at his eyes. That morning, he was going to be a referee at a charity basketball game for kids in Brooklyn. It was an opportunity that couldn’t be missed. I seized the chance and was spellbound for days after. I took with me a poem I had written about him and a calendar of lions and tigers since I knew he loved tigers. His whole upper left arm has a large tiger tattoo on it. As I waited for him to arrive, I realized that though the appearance was publicized, no one but myself came to meet him. It was that morning that made me put full belief into past lives or some cryptic workings of the universe, because when I saw him get out of the van, straighten himself and begin walking towards the building, I felt a sense that I was having an out of body experience – I felt that I was being separated from my body. I felt I was two instead of one. And the sight of him, felt as familiar to me as it was to breathe. I ran over to him, and while we spoke, I could not look him in the eyes. I looked only once and saw intense bright green, like lights and smiling lips. I was not afraid, merely overwhelmed by the emotions I was feeling. As I was speaking, he gives me his hand in my hand, and his hand is so large, I needed both my hands to hold it and I caressed the top of it with my thumbs. I also told him I would date him if he were still single. As he held my hand, as I was in his presence, I can say with absolute certainty, that I have never felt more at peace. The restlessness disappeared. It was an odd sensation, to not feel the restlessness gnawing at my very being for those moments I was with him. I didn’t ask for an autograph or a picture with him – because I didn’t want to seem like a fan. I would date him if it were possible. He’s married with three children and I discovered we have so much in common.

    So, now, I’m at a standstill. I’m even questioning the career path I want to follow. I have been thinking about that day every day. Writing and dancing seem to be the only ways to cope with the overwhelming and intense emotions I feel. And so I ask now, why did I have to meet him? What was the purpose if I cannot have this man romantically for myself? To never bear him children? I have no answers. Only questions and feelings.
     
  2. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    Hi RunningWind

    Sure sounds like a soul connection to me. Have you kept in any contact with him? Did you sense that he too felt a familiarity?

    There is more than one way to have a connection with someone. Romantic attachments and marriage are only one way to express love and care for someone.
     
  3. RunningWind92

    RunningWind92 New Member

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    Thanks so much for replying. Contact with him is really difficult. He has a Twitter account but he only responds to people when they post something that resounds with him. Like a picture they took with him or it has something to do with his previous wrestling days. It's very interesting you ask that because he knew he was being filmed when he got out the van and yet he stopped to talk with me. And while I was talking to him, he slid his hand slowly into mine. I'm told that maybe he was just being friendly but you have to ask, what made him want to connect with me by holding my hand? I'd like to know what you think about the possibility of him being the reincarnation of this spirit that psychics have sensed with me.
     
  4. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    You're the one who knows the answer to that better than me.

    Perhaps (who knows) you met that one time, and held hands and looked in each others eyes and now (at some level) he knows you're alive and safe and you know he's real and that's all that had to happen this life? Perhaps you will meet again, this life or the next? Perhaps only in dreams? Time will no doubt tell. If you are connected your paths will cross again in due course. They always do.
     
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  5. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing Registered

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    Hi RunningWind,
    I've read your story with great interest.
    I think you've met somebody with a strong and committed soul connection. I've experienced something alike.
    Psychics telling about the spirit who was with me. I tried to contact this person and managed somehow.
    For years we had conversations in my head, big fun. Then slightly over the years the atmosphere changed
    and became more personally involved. I always thought him to be a spirit guide and those have no personal
    attachment, I thought. I heard him saying: I am coming. I received messages of love. Too intense to receive.
    I broke contact with this 'spirit', I really freaked out. Then he send a message to me through a friend.
    One day an internet friend send me an email and I ignored to answer right away. The second day some kind of spirit started to manifest in my house. He was absolutely determined to reach me, to make contact. Almost desperate love.
    A long story, with weird details. At the end: it all led to one person (this internet friend), who is just alive at the moment.
    Since we made the soul connection, the weird phenomena have stopped.
    I've come to the conclusion that some 'independent' aspects of him already made contact
    with me long before our meeting (for the moment still an online thing). Our soul is not just one solid little cloud.
    I am still trying to figure out about the nature of our souls. I consider that we can split, divide. In shamanic point of view, this is 'normal'. Traumatic experiences can cause this splitting.
    So in your case, I would say that part of your friend's soul stayed with you in this life. This doesn't mean that he stopped reincarnating on the other level. Maybe you understand what I am saying, maybe it is too strange to comprehend. I try to explain in simple words. Sometimes our soul is just a little flock of birds and each bird is an aspect of 'us', an old personality we once were in some life. The little birds can go back to reintegrate as One Bird again.
    I cannot say anything about the purpose of your experience. I agree with Tanguerra that making the connection (shaking hands) was the first important thing between the two of you. The follow up is only known to you and this old friend, between your souls.
    You are talking about the weird energetic OBE just before the meeting. I guess the energetic roller coaster didn't stop by this, did it? Your energies met on the physical plane and this connection will develop further in the future. I would like to warn you not to expect a traditional love story. When committed souls meet in this way, the purpose is often bigger than just romance. It's about healing the souls, about collecting your little birds to become One Bird again. It might take a year, 10 years, 30 years... it all depends on the souls of you and your old friend.
     
  6. RunningWind92

    RunningWind92 New Member

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    I'm not sure I understand everything you said but I'm taking it that there was something powerful at work when I met the celebrity. I just don't understand because all these psychics kept telling me he would be coming back to me. And thanks for sharing your story.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2017
  7. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    Perhaps he has already come back to you? You have met, and held hands and seen each other. So, that's a start. Just because you knew someone before does not mean you are destined to be lovers or get married. I know quite a few people I've known before. One or two had a romantic attachment, but others were friends and brothers.


    Be patient. If it's meant to be, you will meet again. Does he have a fan club? Why not join it. You never know.
     
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  8. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I can tell you from experience that people (psychics included) interpret all information they receive through their pre constructed desires and expectations. You can see people's filters clearly if you watch for them.

    Unlike popular culture (and people with a romantic streak) might assume, not all soul mates are married to each other ... or even want to be.

    Sometimes the best, most constructive relationship you'll have with a soul mate will help them improve their romantic relationship with someone else, add new information to broaden their view of life, create an opportunity they wouldn't have found otherwise, etc. Sometimes soul mates get to be friends, business partners, children, cousins, or random strangers that rescue them from a dangerous mindset and move on without ever meeting again. Sometimes they're even the enemies that drive each other to growth. And sometimes trying to live as a couple can turn a healthy friendship that mutually fuels progress into a whirlpool of abuse, manipulation, and destruction.

    My experiences: I happened to marry one of those passionate connections people call "soul mates" and ended up in an abusive marriage. When I remembered several of the previous lives after our breakup, I realized that our strongest connection had grown through a time I spent being his son and wanting to save him from himself, only to end up being murdered by him for trying to change him.

    I spent multiple years of this life trying to bring out the best I knew existed in him again, only to realize that the best lesson of our relationship for me, at least, was that true respect is letting him grow by his own choice in his own time, and not allowing him (or others) to abuse or manipulate me in my effort to control them into being what I hoped they would be.

    I've met up with many people I've been very close to in past lives, and I used to think I was fickle because I felt that deep, passionate attraction and recognition for every single one of them. However, with experience I began to realize that it's just love. Love isn't always romance. Love can be just as vividly created between a parent and child, a friendship, companionship through terrible times, a teacher and student, and so on.

    I've remembered being in romantic relationships with at least five of the people I've met in this life. Yes, they're important. Yes, I love them. Yes, we connect unusually quickly. And none of them are aligned with my life path this time around. I'm (we're) okay with that, because we don't need a romantic relationship to love each other. There's nothing missing. We're just happy to reconnect for a time.

    And I know this won't be the last time either. There's no end to our connection, even if we don't deepen it in this life. I love more people than I can keep track of in a single lifetime, anyway.

    I would bet that you do, too.

    Discover what actually exists instead of clinging to only one vision or possibility and excluding any other idea of how things might play out. If you're too single-minded you might (like the old fable) end up killing the goose to get at the golden egg inside, only to lose both the egg and the goose. Waiting allows things to develop naturally. Your "golden egg" may not be what you expect, but it's possible there is a whole lifetime of new discoveries ahead to make up for it.

    You may even discover that you prefer what is really going to happen far, far more than what you now imagine should be happening.
     
  9. landsend

    landsend New Member

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    You've already received some very good advice here. I'll just add that from my own experience, someone who is connected to our soul (even a strong connection) doesn't necessarily mean they are meant to be physically in our lives at this moment. Soulmates, I've found from my experience with my husband, tend to be drawn like magnets to each other, irresistibly. Even though I remember a lot of lives where we were compromised being together (situations and our own egos) we were always drawn, one way or another to participate in each other's lives, and that connection, at the core, beyond physicality is incredibly pure. Even in our last life when we were both men, the magnetism was there. So if he is your soulmate, there will be no struggle. That will reveal itself to you and be very clear. If you find yourself struggling, it could be that this person has a strong connection with your soul, a karmic link if you will. And then you need to ask yourself what it is you need to learn from him and why he has played such a prominant presence in your life. It could be as simple as forgiving him by visualising a golden light and sending out a loving feeling, feeling any negativity within you dissolve.
     
  10. RunningWind92

    RunningWind92 New Member

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    UPDATE: I wanted to let you all know that I met him again for the second time a few weeks ago. He was at an autograph signing in my city. He just happened to come there by chance, because he was filling in for another wrestler. It was absolutely astonishing. I waited two hours on a line and he must have seen at least 80 people before he got to me. The minute he saw me, he addressed me as sweetheart and said he remembered me from Brooklyn last year. The sentence of asking if he remembered me was barely out of my mouth when he said he did. He meets thousands and thousands of people everyday and he recalled my face on that line. This is another strange thing. This was really the first time I looked into his eyes and I actually 'heard' a voice as I looked in his eyes. It was saying "Laura! Laura! It's me!". I felt almost as if it was coming from deep within him. I gave him a journal to write in and he said he's going to use it for his acting notes after he retires from wrestling. I inscribed it with a personal message I wrote with a marker. So a piece of me will go with him. I put my hands on his arm and told him I hope someday I find someone like him, as tall and as beautiful. He laughed for a minute and then turned me and said quietly, "give me a hug."

    Now, this is the part that's not so good. I read all of your advice on here and I'm trying to absorb it as best as I can but I'm immensely afraid. After all these years of psychics telling me that the spirit is coming back to me, and if this wrestler is indeed him (which I feel there is no question that he is), then what will become of me? This wrestler is already married and so many men call me beautiful but I've realized something. I'm deeply in love with this wrestler. Deeply. I don't consider myself a fan because I would truly date him if he were available. I've been trying to channel this panic and longing into creativity. Please be kind in your responses to this post. While I'm immensely astonished and grateful that he remembered me, I have no idea what will happen to me now as far as dating.
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2017
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  11. landsend

    landsend New Member

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    Well, you said it yourself. He is married with three children. Regardless of his 'fame' would you want to be the one to break apart a family?

    If you truly love this person, you must give that person freedom and let them go. True love is not possessive, it doesn't ask for recognition. It simply is.

    If in some future, you are meant to be together, then you needn't worry, it will happen, believe me.

    As for dating, you are very young. Spend your free years discovering life, yourself, the universe, find your 'whole' self and you might realise you dont really need anyone to feel complete. And if a person pops up in the mean time who appreciates your whole self, then that's a bonus. If not, you've lost nothing and gained a lot.
     
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  12. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    Exciting times.

    This must be very confusing for you. Love is an overpowering feeling, especially when it is also a past life love. But nobody knows what the future holds. I can only say what I said before - there is no reason that love for someone has to only be expressed by 'dating' or 'marrying' a person. That is largely social brainwashing. Feel the love. Think about it. Wait. You two may end up being great friends. Nobody knows what the future has in store. So, try to relax (difficult I know) and not worry about it too much (even harder, I know).

    Meanwhile, just get on with your life and wait and see what happens next.
     
  13. chief1734

    chief1734 Member

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    Hello, callsighn runningwild

    They call me chief, but seeing your predicament, you may call me Christian, (that's my name) I trust all of you, and yes I dare say tanguerra and landsend, are good friends of mine, (and they both have helped me personally a lot,) listen to thier advice, they are both very wise and understanding, they don't judge.

    I would like to share something only my mother knows
    It may or may not be of service to you, but regardless, I would like to share it

    I was a green beret Lt. In the US army airborne, and went Black ops to rescue POWs. I died in 1974, explosion from a mortar/ grenade launcher/ rpg/(I don't know what it was for sure, instant death)

    My Point is:
    When I was a small child, I met an old man at a video store that was in town. I felt the strongest of connection with him, not as a lover, but as a brother. I asked him if he was in the war, and he turned and looked at me, with the friendlyest smile I have ever seen, like he knew I was family.
    I saw his cap, "VFW" veteran. I don't remember the conversation, but I knew he knew who I was. I believe he was there, when I died. We talked for about 2 minutes he shook my hand and I said thank you for your service, and he just smiled, patted my shoulder and left. I never saw him again. I got in the car with my mom, and I started uncontrollably crying, like I was happy to see him, but sad because I knew we weren't meant to meet again this life.

    That's when I found out about past life's, and started my spiritual journey. I was 7 years old.

    In this life, I was having trouble with flashbacks when I turned 17, I graduated highschool at 16, I was in ROTC,
    Which opened an opportunity to serve my country again,
    So I went to basic training(82nd airborne, "white falcons", alpha company)

    But it was not meant to be,
    I went through so much pain, and PTSD from Vietnam specifically, that when they told us our last training operation was a 22 day op, with simmunitions (Google them), I said no, I couldn't handle any more visions, or "episodes". I had to drop out.
    I went through 3 other ops beforehand, with simmunitions, and on the third op, when one round broke my finger(right hand, ring finger)
    I was so distraught and shaken by all the memories.

    Point is,
    Sometimes we have to be content with what we did, or saw, in our past lives, and accept that we must live in the present, not the past. ACCEPTANCE is KEY to easing the pain of a past life.

    So you see? THERE IS NO COINCIDENCE, EVERYTHING GOOD OR BAD HAPPENS FOR A REASON, therefore, there is a lesson to be learned in everything, forever.
    Learn the lesson(it may even take years) and move on.:)

    Forgive, but never forget.

    Thank you for your time.

    Sincerely,
    An old soldier
    - Chief
     
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  14. RunningWind92

    RunningWind92 New Member

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    Hi Christian,

    Thanks for sharing your story :), but if I type any more here, I'm going to sound repetitive. If you want to talk further about this, feel free to message me.
     
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  15. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    I remember lots of horrible things. It is no fun.

    We learn. It's never easy.
     
  16. Richardpeter

    Richardpeter New Member

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    Well.. I'm a bit embarrased cause i never talked to anyone about this, my name is richard and i'm 22 years old, well how can i say this.. I remember waking up on my bed when i was 6, like it was yesterday, but i don't remember anything before that, like there was nothing just blank, and i've been having this same dream(not everyday) for about 2 years, i remember a woman named rose calling me john, i dreamed about getting married to her, her smell in my bed, my hands on her hair, the day when she gave me a daughter, holding her on my hands, the feeling of those small hands,it' something that i'll never forget, like i could describe the softness, i just cry almost everytime i remember , it's just a strong feeling,and when i wake up i feel this void in my heart, like something is missing, more like.. i missed, thanks for letting me share this and thanks for reading!
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2017
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  17. tanguerra

    tanguerra Administrator

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    Hi Richard.

    Welcome to the forum. Sounds like a past life memory to me.
     
  18. Richardpeter

    Richardpeter New Member

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    When you guys talked about past life love, that's how i feel about, i don't know how to move on from this, i feel like i loved that woman from all of my heart, and the odd is that i never felt this towards anyone that i dated, but it's like i can relate to the sensation, it's a ineffable feeling, sometimes i get that strange sensation of her presence, her touch on my cheek, and next is the feeling of loss, like a hole that i can't be fulfilled
     
  19. RunningWind92

    RunningWind92 New Member

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    I'm feeling the same way Richard. I just wanted to update that I've been having trouble sleeping. Even when I'm in a deep sleep, I wake with a jolt and I can't go back to sleep after that.
     
  20. Richardpeter

    Richardpeter New Member

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    Hi laura, i totally relate to your case, i spend everyday wondering if i'll be able to love someone that deeply.

    P.s. i'm sorry that i wasn't able to reply sooner, i've been busy!!
     

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