Why do good people suffer and bad people get everything they want?

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by JustinTime, Dec 13, 2017.

  1. JustinTime

    JustinTime Probationary

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    Excuse me if I may sound like I am ranting...

    My parents have been extremely abusive of me since my childhood years (I am now almost 30), and everything has gone well for them. They have physically and emotionally abused me for years, trying to force me to do things for their own personal satisfaction and status, never paying attention for once to how I would feel and how I would be affected by their selfish abuse.

    Yet things continue to go well for them, they continue to make a ton of money, they were not abused by their parents, they are not sympathetic to my plight and how it has caused depression and mental illness in me for many years. I've noticed that things in life tend to go well for them at my expense, ie, if there's an event that would be good for them but bad for me, it would always happen this way, and not the other way around.

    Why do they get to treat their own child like this yet God / karma does absolutely nothing, in fact, even rewarding them with even better luck? They now take lots of vacations and travel around the world, never answering my phone, never giving a **** about my mental and physical state, my inability to find a decent job because of physical and mental abuse and lack of social support.

    Why does God or karma allow bad people to get so much, and continue getting more and more, whereas good people never get a lucky break?

    Really don't understand for the sake of me.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2017
  2. Mere Dreamer

    Mere Dreamer Super Moderators Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I married someone like that, and one thing I learned along the way to freeing myself is that I'm in control of how I let them influence me and that the only power they have over me is the power I give them, if that makes sense.

    In a drama I recently watched, the "god" tells the characters, "Karma is a question I ask you. You're the ones who come up with the answers." I thought that was pretty apt. The situations we are born (or otherwise stumble) into aren't fated to turn out just one way. Sure, we can start out being thrown in among bitter enemies, but what we do with that is entirely up to us. One avatar might be enslaved and abused until death. Another avatar might convert them into friends. Another might escape them and find acceptance elsewhere. There are always choices to make, even in the worst situations.

    You can't control what choices your parents make, but you can give up on trying to get what they don't offer from them and look for other ways to take care of yourself. Just because your parents were selfish doesn't mean you have to be bound to them forever. Generosity and love exist and are probably far easier to mutually exchange elsewhere, among different people.

    Entitled and abusive people are not "guaranteed to fall." (At least not visibly and tangibly, in a way that would be emotionally satisfying for you right now.) People can take advantage of opportunities whether they are selfish or have good intentions.

    The most you can do to overcome your childhood is to begin the process of finding the best of what is available to you where you are now, and leveling up on your capacity to handle opportunity until you reach a place where the gifts you easily align with are the sort that fulfill and strengthen you. Like placing character points in a game, some choices will lead to slightly better options for future choices. If you don't level up on "knowing your gifts" you won't see when you can serve others in a way that will transform both your lives, for example.

    You're not "doomed to never have a lucky break." You choose what influences you allow to rule your thoughts.

    Since your parents aren't healthy for you, learn to purge them from your system. Cut out the false beliefs about yourself that they embedded in you and replace them with something better. Give up on them. Stop expecting them to be family, to change, to be different, to be there and create your own family elsewhere, out of people who do support and appreciate you.

    Instead of expecting them to be a different kind of person, demonstrate the qualities you wish they would have had through your childhood. Go out and be that kind of friend, the kind of person who seems to be missing in your life, to the world around you. The reason you feel so strongly about their failure is because YOU do have the character to offer the kind of encouragement and support you so longed to receive. So ... develop yourself. That is where your greatest resources for future success are hidden.

    I'm not saying this is an easy process. It takes time to learn how to find where you're needed. It takes practice and failure and experimenting again to figure out how your gifts fit into the flow of life and truly benefit yourself and others. It takes a healthier mirror than the ones your parents held up for you (often counselling) to learn how to see past the false image of yourself that inhibits you and discover the potential and beauty of your complete self.

    It has taken me years to begin claiming my freedom and owning my gifts, and I expect it to take the rest of my life to truly explore and learn the skills to share the potential I always had. The relationships I have today are mutually respectful, appreciative, supportive, loving ... and there are more friends out there, waiting for me to meet them.

    We all have to learn this one way or another.

    Your family doesn't own you. You own yourself.
    Your past doesn't define you. You define yourself by the choices you make in each moment.

    Who do you choose to be? What kind of person do you want to look back on when you step across the veil? What life story do you choose to tell?

    This isn't a "why" for the suffering you went through, because there isn't just one answer. You create your own meaning out of your story. Nobody else can do it for you.

    I hope you find your freedom.
     
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  3. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    Sorry for your predicament.

    You're 30! You dislike your parents, and they don't seem to need your support. You're well overdue to break away from parental support, and rely on yourself to make your life as you want it to be.

    It maybe that your karma, from this and past life, brought this trying situation on you because of something you did, and that you don't remember, or don't acknowledge. The way out of it is to find out what is your life lesson to learn, internalize it, and move on. Once you did it, things will turn around!

    In my experience, and understanding, as long as we blame others for what's happening to us, and / or expect others to change for our benefit, things don't improve us.

    Good luck!
     
  4. JustinTime

    JustinTime Probationary

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    If the soul experience across lives is not more or less "equal" then there's absolutely no meaning and point in living if you draw a bad set of cards (ie difficult life). If my parents abused me or other abusive parents abused their children, then I want to see these parents reincarnate in future lives into similarly difficult situations so they can experience first hand the receiving end of their arrogant actions. Otherwise, if this doesn't happen, there is no point in life for people who get bad cards, since they will never receive universal justice. It's not fair that the billionaire can experience the highs of being a billionaire without experiencing the corresponding lows. It's completely outrageous that some souls can become kings and billionaires without living other lives where they are destitutes or cripples. There needs to be balance across lives for this to work out.
     
  5. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    How do you know you weren't an abuser in a previous life, and you chose for this life to learn what being abused means? how do you know you weren't a ruthless billionaire?

    Your happiness is up to you, only!
     
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  6. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Justin, you seem to equate Power with happiness/success (or something), and your Unhappiness caused by getting dealt a "bad card" - if I understand what you are saying.
    I would like to know what your goals are, how you have prepared yourself to reach them, and what you are prepared to give up to get them. I do not mean to come across as unfeeling but there is a truism that unsuccessful people focus on problems where as successful people focus on solutions, and I'm curious to learn where your focus lies. Would it make your life better if your parent's life was worse? Really?

    As for things being "equal", what would be the point of that? Who is keeping score?

    I'm sorry that you feel put-upon, feelings of depression and not seeing anything that you feel good about, those feelings are indeed difficult, we have all been there. You have choices, solutions that don't hurt others, actions to have the successes you want, and the power to act on those choices. A Successful life is a journey, not an end result.
     
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  7. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    I'm reminded of my brother. I used to feel life let him away with too much. He would con his way across the world with seemingly no consequences to himself. I felt that if life wasn't dealing him hard knocks then it was my job as his older brother to be extra hard on him. I made it my job to teach him right from wrong. I didn't understand that he wasn't equipped in the same way that I was to deal with the challenges life threw at him. I didn't realise that he had his own path to travel and that it wasn't up to me to judge where that path should take him. I didn't realise anything until he committed suicide in 2007. That one came out of nowhere for me. I had no idea he was suffering such. He seemed to be coated in teflon living in a consequence free environment. How wrong I was and I couldn't see it until it was too late. After that happened I realised it wasn't my job to judge how hard other people have it. They may seem to have it all but I realised I didn't have all the answers. I didn't know what was going through my brothers head or what version of hell he was experiencing and he went through wine, women and money like it was going out of fashion. He seemed to have it all. He didn't have it all though and it wasn't up to me to judge where he should have been in his life. Your parents are who they are and they have their own journey to go on. All one can really do is dig their own garden...you know...focus on what you can do to help yourself and not worry about how well one thinks others have it. Your not walking in their shoes after all.
     
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  8. JustinTime

    JustinTime Probationary

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    Ken, things need to be "equal" (more or less) between lives because every soul needs to have the opportunity to experience a life where he/she gets everything to his/her heart's desire, including beauty, wealth, power, fame, etc.... Every soul needs to have a life where they are flying on private jets, living in a mansion, and never have to worry about poverty or low social class. That said, ever soul needs to have a life where they are discriminated again, lowest part of the social ladder, being bullied, being ostracized, no job opportunities, beggar on the streets, etc.... because it simply isn't fair for some souls to have to experience these and deprive others of the same opportunity.

    I think you would agree. It would not be quite fair to have the soul of Donald Trump or Bill Gates reincarnate again and again as a billionaire, without ever having to experience extreme poverty. It would not be fair to have the soul of the street beggar reincarnate again and again without a proper home and basic income.

    Would you like to reincarnate again and again as a lower-class person in society? I think not. Hence if reincarnation exists, it would have to be fair.
     
  9. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    My problem with what you are saying is your thoughts of "fairness" and being dealt a "bad card". Keep in mind that you, like the rest of us choose to accept the circumstances we are born into, and some souls choose to never experience a "physical" life. IMO when a person chooses to have a physical lifetime, it is to experience something that is either difficult or impossible to experience otherwise (abuse, loss, pain, etc). I also think that we are "tested" in ways to add depth to things we may give lip-service to without having meaningful personal experience of in a lifetime.

    It might feel better to have some kind of "fairness", but what difference does it make, it is just an act. Does John Wayne need to play the part of a coward, or Kenny Baker play Sampson or Spartacus? When we go "back-stage" after we die, do you see yourself being upset with another actor that was better dressed than your character, or would you feel better for playing your part better than the others?

    Chances are that we do experience lives of extremes in both directions, but there is no reason to believe that they are equally balanced since it would serve no purpose, it's not a pay-back kind of thing. I think it is more a repeat-until-you-understand kind of thing where the "balance" is in understanding rather than experiences.

    When reviewing the low-points in my life, I recalled a conversation that I once had with myself where I thought/said that "anybody can get a job, even a dead man can model a casket" - not a particularly pleasant thought, but it was a really bad point in my life and it got me over my pity-party.
     
  10. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    A few quotes from Seth (Jane roberts):

    "First of all, all negative attitudes must be removed from your consciousness. You are attracting further financial problems in your desperation. You are focusing upon poverty rather than wealth."
    Session 404, Page 245

    "See in your mind’s eye a surplus of money in your folder when the month’s expenses are paid."
    Session 404, Page 245

    "You must indeed think consciously in terms of plenty rather than of want."
    Session 404, Page 245

    "Thoughts of plenty will bring you plenty in material and financial terms, and in other terms. Thoughts of want will produce want. I have not made these rules."
    Session 404, Page 250​
     
  11. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    Seth on "karma":

    "The basic idea of karma is not punishment. Karma presents the opportunity for development; to make use of
    opportunities that were not taken advantage of, to fill in gaps of ignorance, to enlarge understanding through
    experience, to do what should be done."

    Session 388, Page 158

    "There is also a rather conventional stereotype version of karma that may follow such beliefs. Therefore, you may
    be punished in this life for errors you have committed in a past one, or you may actually be making up for a
    mistake made thousands of years ago. Again, all of a person’s reincarnational existences are, indeed, connected -
    but the events in one life DO NOT CAUSE the events in the next one."

    Session 5/xx, Page 230 ​
     
  12. JustinTime

    JustinTime Probationary

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    Ken, if you are confident that "we choose to accept the circumstances we are born into" => if that's true, then you're right, there's no dispute. But ultimately, it comes down to individual belief, because we have scant scientific evidence that this is indeed the case.

    I appreciate your stage reference, that somehow we are all dressed up as characters and when this "life" (aka play is over), we will take off the cloths and realize that it was all a play. However, the fundamental difference between your stage analogy to life is that on stage, pain doesn't really happen. Actors pretend to get stabbed, but everyone is faking it and no one feels the pain brought about by one's actions. But in real life, it's not the case. If someone hurts me, I feel the pain deep inside. If I hurt someone else (mentally or physically), they feel the pain. This pain can be crippling, it can destroy lives. Based on your analogy, life is like a play except the actors actually act out the actions, and the actors truly feel the pain of these actions first hand. That's different from a regular play where people just dress up.

    What I'm getting at here, is that there's real emotional pain from being a crippled or a disabled or someone who has everything NOT work out in life, despite all the hard work in the world. And there's real emotional satisfaction and conceit from getting everything you wanted in life, plus more. A soul should experience both, without exceptions. It's not "balance" to allow some souls to experience only pain each and every life, without the corresponding degree of pleasure, and vice versa.

    Do you get what I'm saying?
     
  13. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    In my opinion JustinTime life is an illusion of the senses. When life is stripped from us what is left but the immortal spirit and when we meet our loved ones backstage after our show we will understand more about our purpose than we could ever hope to understand on Earth. I always imagined a conversation between an earthbound man and God would go something like this clip ( imagine the world as a stage and the afterlife as lacking something only earthbound life could give us ):




    This life is a morality play in my opinion. One tailored to each souls individual perceptions. It's not about whose famous or whose wealthy or who has an easy life and who doesn't. In spirit people don't compartmentalise or pidgeonhole how a life is lived because they understand WHY a life is lived. The veils pulled over us while we are alive on Earth. We generally can't see beyond that veil so it feels very real to us as we live it. I would agree with Ken, life is but a stageplay and we are actors but we are generally unaware we are actors. We think we are the characters we play. I always compared finding out about reincarnation to stepping into a film...say Indiana Jones for instance...and walking up to Indiana Jones and tapping him on the shoulder, then telling him his real name is Harrison Ford and he's played many roles. Indiana Jones hearing all of this will either think your nuts or he will be shocked that his eyes were opened to a greater truth just as real life people react to reincarnation . Either way we do seem to be acting out roles in our many lives but we live under the illusion that we are that character...most of us will never realise that we are actually the actor anymore than Indiana Jones would realise that he's actually Harrison Ford.
     
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  14. JustinTime

    JustinTime Probationary

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    Jim78, ok, if that's true, then WHY are some lives lived full of disappointment, bad breaks and suffering? And WHY are some lives lived full of pleasure, hedonism, wealth, and ego? Why? Would a soul living a life of poverty get to "play" a king or prince for the next "play"?
     
  15. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    I can't speak for everyone else's past lives Justin, I can only speak for my own. I don't know if a beggar will be a rich man in his next life. I don't know what journey other souls are on. I can't say why some men are rich and others are poor, all I can tell you is that whatever I'm learning, regardless of the circumstances of my various incarnations, manifests itself in my lives all the time. For instance, in my 18th century life I was a qualified barrister, in my early 20th century life I was a civil servant and in my current life I do freight and haulage. I had very different occupations in these lives on differing rungs of the societal ladder, yet in all three lives conflict landed me in prison. In all three lives I felt trapped and oppressed by circumstances and my nature was always to fight. In essence I felt imprisoned and this conflict manifested in my going to actual prisons. I don't blame God for my having had hard lives...I blame my nature. I manifested my own situations so I'm not sitting back and rubbing my hands with glee at the thought of being rewarded with a charmed life the next time. I'm pretty sure the next life will manifest what it needs to manifest for me to learn just as my other lives have.
     
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  16. JustinTime

    JustinTime Probationary

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    Jim & Ken, do you guys believe in something called the Michael System of Soul Evolution?

    The root behind my inquiry behind the why of life is I see many people around me who never have to learn the consequences of their actions. Almost everything goes their way, including the major things in life - love, money, career, health, and in turn, they believe they are "entitled" to treat other people, equally hardworking but less lucky/blessed, like garbage, and actively stab others in the back for their own personal pleasure or status.

    In my personal life, I've struggled for many years with hard work but disastrous results. You could say, oh this is the result of my attitude or personality, but I do believe I have a genuinely decent personality and care for others. Besides, isn't personality in itself determined by birth and out of your control? How many people do you know were successful in changing their personalities? It's very hard to fundamentally change who you are.

    I sometimes envy those who were born "psychopaths" in a way, because being such a way enables them to get what they want in the business world without any remorse or emotion to hold them back. It's just I've noticed during my entire life, it has been a battle between my ego (a desire to get ahead, promote myself, climb up, achieve something) and a strange desire (I don't know where it came from) to hold my ego in check and to think about others. I genuinely don't know where this "think about others" originated from, but it is in me, and very difficult to ignore, especially when making hard decisions, like should I step on someone else in order to get ahead?

    Moreover, my life circumstances are such that it is not easy for me to compete against ruthless people who were born with all the right trends and factors in their favor (family money, social support, handsome looks, suave personality, etc....). I've put my 150% in working hard and improving myself, physically, socially, intellectually, but I can't help but realize the more I try to improve myself, the more I realize a lot of the differences you see in people are based on birth factors, not necessarily hard work at all. Which suggests the world is really a stage and it's all pretty much predetermined from birth.

    Fundamentally, I seemed to have this intuition, since when I was a teenager, that if you step on others just to get ahead, that somehow this type of selfish action will come back to you one way or another. Nobody taught me this, it just came naturally to me. I don't know where it came from, or whether it is correct. The way I see it, a corporate executive may think he is on top of the world in this life because everything happened in his favor allowing him to accumulate wealth and power, but when he dies, and if reincarnation is true, then he is totally at the "mercy" of God, who decides into what body/circumstances he will reincarnate into in a future life. So I've always been careful not to overstep my personal bounds of morality or ethics, because even if you get short-term gain, you have caused pain to another human being unnecessarily, and this may factor into "deciding" into which body you will reincarnate into in the future.

    But I am curious, why don't many other people have this type of "intuition"? Why are business executives and people who have great careers generally lacking in this type of "reincarnation intuition", whereas I have this feeling all the time? I am extremely ambitious as well, but I feel like my intuition slows me down and prevents me from achieving stuff in life that I may have done otherwise. I sometimes envy the rich executives and ruthless entrepreneurs who don't have to deal with these emotional traps.
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2017
  17. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    Hi Justin.
    I am myself one of those people who doesn't believe in this sort of strict retribution. I have seen reincarnation in action and I am very close (physically) to my past torturer and murderer, and I still haven't witnessed anything like that. Although, even though I don't believe in the simplistic concept of "what comes around goes around", because reality is always more complicated than that, I still do what I think is right in my moral code, regardless if I ever get a payback or not. Most of the time, I don't, but I don't even care. What I care about is feeling at peace with myself, because I never needed to be recognized and approved of by society, neither the current one nor the ones of my past lives.

    I don't see us as winners or losers, because in the end, in my view, it's all futile. We never carry our money to our next life, and our beautiful bodies always end up as food for maggots. We all go as we came: empty handed. This is my view. May sound tragic to some, but to me it's really simple. There are other things that last forever: my friends are always with me, from lifetime to lifetime, and I keep those same old connections alive every moment.
    Some people are so insanely obsessed with their personal success that they don't even create such undying connections. In the end, they are alone, and I'd just pity them for that.

    Regardless if you have been following a "good" moral conduct, I'd rather ask you why you are so obsessed with achieving that kind of success in life, rather than considering other possibilities.
    If you like to think about others, why then not focus on that rather than climb up some corporate ladder? Could it be that maybe, just maybe, you don't need to see some unexistent "divine justice" at work, but just make a conscious decision for your own destiny? It's all a matter of setting your priorities after all. There are two (or even more) sides to all of us, the narcissist always clashes against the empath and we must decide which one must prevail. Trust me, there will be no god to reward you or punish you afterwards, but at least you can get some personal satisfaction in doing what is right in your personal view.
     
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  18. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    I don't put my faith in psychics or mediums or things of that nature Justin. My viewpoint on life and reincarnation comes from my own personal experience.

    On that note I have had some experience of the life review. I believe that those who harm others for their own personal gain will know exactly what it's like to be the people they messed about from that persons perspective when they die. I'm reminded of Jesus' plea from the cross to forgive his tormentors because they know not what they do. Some people can't see beyond the choices that they make but who am I to judge their retribution? They may be the way they are for reasons I can't see and besides...I haven't been an angel myself in my life. I know now that I was doing wrong but I didn't realise it at the time. I would like to think that the divine will at least understand my motivations. What kind of soul would I be if I wanted that for myself but wanted revenge for everyone that hurt me? That's too toxic a situation for me to be a part of.

    I used to think I was a decent person simply because I wasn't aware of how my behaviour affected others. As I said...one can only dig their own garden. Why do you expect rewards for being good? Would you then expect punishment for doing bad? What if you didn't know you were doing bad? Wouldn't you want forgiveness for that? This isn't about how hard or easy or deserving or undeserving others have it. This is about you! Your choices, your actions, your outlook...you can only change yourself not anyone else.

    I've had dealing with psychopaths and sociopaths and they are lacking many things the majority of people have. They are to be pitied not envied in my opinion. I have also been confronted with my ego. I hadn't even considered my ego until I remembered reincarnation because I thought I was fighting for good. I felt justified. I understand the battle between ego and doing whats right all too well.

    If personality comes from nurture how come I'm so similar to my immediate previous life? I had a happier childhood in that life than in my current one and I still ended up as pretty much the same person. It was my adult struggles that changed me, not my childhood. My childhood merely tooled me up for a different kind of battleground to the one I fought in my last life It's true some people are born into wealth or status or whatever but they still have their life struggles just like anyone does. I don't resent the well born at all. I don't know what mountains they have to climb so why would I envy them? I have enough on my own plate to deal with.

    So you hedge your bets with God then? I've been living in fear of God for three years, ever since I started remembering my past lives. I wonder if it's too late for me after everything that I've done. The truth is I don't know. But what I do know is that considering who I've been in my pasts lives my current life doesn't feel like punishment for it. It just feels like another lesson in the curriculum.

    Many people are too wrapped up in life to see beyond into more spiritual ways of thinking. Maybe they aren't ready for it? Who knows. Just be thankful for what you know and don't worry about what others know.
     
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  19. DiscoKitten

    DiscoKitten New Member

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    JustinTime, I hear you. I feel the same way. I have a mother who was like your parents. She had a great childhood and brags about it yet has no compassion for others with difficult lives. It makes me angry and frustrated like you are explaining. I am sorry you are having to go thru this. Why do you want your parents in your life? Break contact with them. It will make you feel better. DO you have siblings? Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. I feel your pain and I often wonder the same things you are saying.
     
  20. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    "I am extremely ambitious as well"

    Hi Justin, I know this problem... ;) Being ambitious and being an empath at the same time.
    I don't know where and when exactly I already learned my lesson that reaching the top is lonely and always comes with a price to pay. In my heart it is always connected to China, a lot of centuries ago. In this life, I reject any prize that keeps me away from my soul-life. And guess what, at a certain point I figured out that a lot of my soul friends are people that rejected their (often rich) destinies after childhood and choose deliberately a different direction where money was not abundant. Not a principal choice against money but a choice against the price to pay.
    I don't believe in punishments (nor in rewards) but I do believe that at a certain point you'll be able to realize how things work and free yourself from misconceptions about power, money and fame.
    My personal ambition is still there as an impersonal life force but kept asleep...:p:p:D
     
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