Why do people not want to reincarnate?

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by TheDivineOne, Nov 22, 2018.

?

Would you want to reincarnate after this life? Why or why not? (my first poll thread!)

  1. Yes, I would like to, love to, or wouldn't mind reincarnating.

    11 vote(s)
    44.0%
  2. No, I would not like to reincarnate at all.

    14 vote(s)
    56.0%
  1. gauss576

    gauss576 New Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    1
    "I have to say that no matter the hardship, Life on this beautiful planet is a wonderful experience when experienced with open eyes" - if you can say this so easily, it just means the hardship you've experienced in this life just hasn't been hard enough. Have you been blind? Been burned? Been deaf? Been raped? Been discriminated against to the point you cannot get a job or earn an income? Have you been homeless, begging on the streets? I don't think you can say "life is beautiful" in a mature way until you have seen the real negative side of life. I certainly don't want to experience any of these. That's why I'd rather not come back.
     
    Angie Brown likes this.
  2. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    436
    I don’t think Benjamin is saying that. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but to appreciate true beauty, one has to suffer. And this is not superficial beauty, although I’m honest even the beauty of a landscape or flower would be lost on those who have not transcended their suffering.

    And that is the key. All of us inevitably suffer, few of us transcend our suffering. I’m not talking about external suffering but the place where suffering happens, which is inside each and everyone of us. And I’ve experienced excruciating pain and still do so on a daily basis. I’ve not transcended my personal suffering, but have had glimpses throughout my life and lives of true beauty. It is not seen with the eyes. True beauty is a feeling within.

    My avatar is a quote from the Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh. The full quote is: Most people are afraid of suffering. But suffering is a kind of mud to help the lotus flower of happiness grow. There can be no lotus flower without the mud.
     
  3. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2018
    Messages:
    119
    Likes Received:
    279
    Thank you for giving such an enlightened opinion on my life. I am sorry that life treated you so hardly that you feel the need to contradict the words of an optimist.

    You are most right, I am very far away from having experienced every hardness life has to offer. I am also of young age, having not yet reached my thirties, so I am yet to experience more than the other half of my estimated remaining life. I also have the benefit of having both my legs and my arms intact.

    That being said, and I do not wish to make a catalogue of every hard thing I have had to go through in my younger years, but before I embraced a positive outlook on life, I did face death, I faced hunger, I faced the loss of my home and had to face a lot of things that I don't think children should face. Before I embraced the willingness to carry on no matter what, be it this one or the next life, I lost the will to live my current life and planned leaving this planet many times. And when my past life came again and echoed in my daily life, when some people could hear songs and happy faces,I found nothing but gunfire.

    I am also deeply aware of how unfair life can be, given that my current work is to take care of the heaviest cases of pediatrics cancers, the ones that no one can treat in China, and to try and save those who can be saved by transfering them to the most advanced units in Europe. None of my little patients and their families deserve such hardness, I agree.

    And yet, I refuse (it is both a conscious choice and a mindful wish) to see this experience of Living as negative. I do see a lot of beauty in it, and poetry in the way Life can teach its lessons. and choose to commit to safeguard every beautiful thing I see.

    I hope that you will understand from my message that my optimism is not blind positivity, but a mindset that came from a lot of hard lessons learned at a young age. Life is a gift for me, and I mindfuly chose to shine as much bright light as I can because indeed Life can be very dark.

    Thank you Landsend for such a beautiful quote, I will write it down and meditate on it!

    Benjamin
     
  4. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2018
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    364
    Location:
    England
    I'm uncertain now whether I want to come back or not. I can't even sort out the mess that's my own life, let alone thinking about another one!
     
  5. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    436
    None of us have a right to say whether ones suffering trumps another, or indeed if any of us have suffered enough. None of us. All pain is individual and different people react differently to each and every situation. Ask any combat veteran. The way they suffered and experienced suffering is different from the next and so on, so forth. There’s so many factors as to why that is.

    I reacted very negatively to high school. I couldn’t finish my schooling. I dropped out when I was fourteen. Everyday I asked myself why could 900 odd other people put up with that, but I could not? The truth is I had my own pain and suffering to deal with that went beyond that environment. It comes mostly from the deep past (former life). So I reacted drastically to an event that caused others some suffering but to which they could deal with. I could not. For years I have taken it as a weakness till I realised I was carrying an unholy amount of pain with me. The pressure of that environment at that time of my life bought it all to the surface, and there was no way to cope apart from withdrawing from life.

    As Benjamin said ending the life I’m living seemed preferable. At times it still does.

    No one here is saying let’s gather around and make daisy chains and sing la di da hymns. It’s just if you’ve ever hit rock bottom, and you know the darkness that is all consuming and you have nothing left... absolutely nothing — then you come to a realisation. As the quote says, you become aware you are the lotus born out of the mud.
     
  6. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2018
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    364
    Location:
    England
    Absolutely right, landsend, I was also about to write something along those lines on that subject. I find, in general, people often belittle someone's else's suffering as being lesser than their own or another's. I've particularly experienced this after bereavement ... I keep saying to people, it's not a competition. I'd rather be left to my own grief than someone telling me I'm better off than they are. In my world I'm not. Whatever the situation, we all suffer, for whatever reason, and one would hope we all had the right to be comforted.
     
    landsend and SeekerOfKnowledge like this.
  7. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    436
    My partner experienced the same when he lost his mom at age eleven. The teacher even had the grace to point out to his class how ‘well’ he was coping with his moms death.

    People deal with things on their own terms as you say. I know for one my partner still grieves his mother. And her death of course altered his entire life and view of life.
     
    tanker likes this.
  8. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2018
    Messages:
    430
    Likes Received:
    346
    Location:
    Germany
    I once read an article about how the level of body pain someone feels is individual. Has to do with how the nerves are transmitting the signals. There are people who barely feel a broken bone, while for others even a scratch is painful It probably is the same with the pain of the soul. Some people feel it stronger than others, and it would be wrong to judge people by the level of pain they feel.
    "Pull yourself together" is something heard often, but what one individual can shrug off easily, might be unbearable pain for another.
    Impossible to know how a situation or problem really feels for another person. We might be able to relate to certain things, but not more.
     
    tanker and landsend like this.
  9. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    436
    It's interesting that pain, even physical pain, can be related to past lives -- whether from a previous life's physical or emotional trauma. Often the pain feels more severe when it has a deep rooted trauma for the person, and when I say 'deep rooted' I mean not necessarily originating from the current life. I've experienced that without even understanding my pain was from the deep past. An example here if that I've suffered bad anxiety in certain situations without quite knowing why. One example is that I realised it happens in certain lighting conditions/areas. I could pinpoint the anxiety to my past life's death, and now it makes sense. Yet the anxiety is still there, even after realising that, but feel more assured to know it's source. It's as if the deep rooted trauma has its own consciousness and is aware, and is trying to protect me -- even before I even knew what on Earth it was.
     
    SeekerOfKnowledge likes this.
  10. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    436
    Look what I found, which I feel is related to this subject:

    “The day my mother died I wrote in my journal, "A serious misfortune of my life has arrived." I suffered for more than one year after the passing away of my mother. But one night, in the highlands of Vietnam, I was sleeping in the hut in my hermitage. I dreamed of my mother. I saw myself sitting with her, and we were having a wonderful talk. She looked young and beautiful, her hair flowing down. It was so pleasant to sit there and talk to her as if she had never died. When I woke up it was about two in the morning, and I felt very strongly that I had never lost my mother. The impression that my mother was still with me was very clear. I understood then that the idea of having lost my mother was just an idea. It was obvious in that moment that my mother is always alive in me.

    I opened the door and went outside. The entire hillside was bathed in moonlight. It was a hill covered with tea plants, and my hut was set behind the temple halfway up. Walking slowly in the moonlight through the rows of tea plants, I noticed my mother was still with me. She was the moonlight caressing me as she had done so often, very tender, very sweet... wonderful! Each time my feet touched the earth I knew my mother was there with me. I knew this body was not mine but a living continuation of my mother and my father and my grandparents and great-grandparents. Of all my ancestors. Those feet that I saw as "my" feet were actually "our" feet. Together my mother and I were leaving footprints in the damp soil.

    From that moment on, the idea that I had lost my mother no longer existed. All I had to do was look at the palm of my hand, feel the breeze on my face or the earth under my feet to remember that my mother is always with me, available at any time.”
    ― Thích Nhất Hạnh, No Death, No Fear
     
    Kenz1010 and tanker like this.
  11. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2018
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    364
    Location:
    England
    Interesting. My parents 'trained' me not to cry or show pain. 'Brave soldiers don't cry' was the phrase. I can tolerate quite intense pain - both physical and mental - without showing it on my face (even a broken bone), even though I have quite a low pain threshold. I just scream inside instead. I don't show weakness. That's probably not a good thing. It also means you don't get much sympathy!
     
  12. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2018
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    364
    Location:
    England
    Beautiful story, landsend, and beautiful idea. I wish I felt like that.
     
  13. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    436
    @tanker That's a problem a lot of men have, having been bought up to swallow their emotions. I was bought up the opposite way, that it was absolutely fine and expected to show all and every emotion there is out there. Despite that it doesn't make it any easier to show emotions.

    Being emotional = being weak = vulnerable. But conversely if we don't show our emotions, and accept some vulnerabilities, we lose out on letting anyone into our space. Then that space becomes isolation. To quote the the Simon & Garfunkel song, 'I Am A Rock' -- 'A rock feels no pain, and an island never cries'.
     
    tanker likes this.
  14. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    436
    @tanker I think that all individuals grieve individually. Can take moments, can take years. I think grieving is natural, and needs to be done. Even animals grieve! Our problem is that we think grieving shouldn't happen, that we just need to swallow it all up and move on with life. Ain't true. I'd even go as far to say I'm grieving my past selves death, and his life. Very bizarre to realise it, but it's true, since I feel a grief in me.

    I think the quote was just demonstrating how he could recognise that his mother lived on in himself. We can see how even our past selves live on in us now. The Vietnamese people have a strong belief that ancestors should be recognised, and they have strong firm roots. This I feel was fundamental in a lot of cultures. We here in the West, as a whole, have forgotten the importance of having strong roots.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2018
    tanker likes this.
  15. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2018
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    364
    Location:
    England
    Too right! Welcome to my world ...
     
  16. Kenz1010

    Kenz1010 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2018
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    92
    I don’t think I’d want to come back. I feel like I’ve already been here 1,000 times, everything seems too repeated. But don’t get me wrong, I want to live the life I have now to the fullest. Keeping a positive outlook on the future and bettering myself as a person. But if I had the choice to come back, I wouldn’t.

    @TheDivineOne
    I’ve heard many people who remember the ‘life-in between’ say that they remember choosing their next life path/ plan. Like they were given options.
    Do you have any memories from the life in between? Maybe you chose to reincarnate as a male?
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2018
  17. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    436
    I think none us are qualified down here to say if we will come back or not. I’ve found that we actually know very little of all the ins and outs while we are stuck down here.

    And to clarify the biological sex can be different from the internal gender. Most times the two align, but sometimes they don’t and it creates a conflict which leads some to transition. Whether this is pre destined or not remains to be seen. Many folks say we do choose our circumstances. It makes the most sense to me that we do.
     
    KenJ and tanker like this.
  18. Kenz1010

    Kenz1010 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2018
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    92
    I agree. I don’t think any person will fully understand how the reincarnation process works. I think we just have some little ideas on what happens, but definitely not close to the whole thing.
     
    tanker and SeekerOfKnowledge like this.
  19. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    436
    Yes, there’s so many factors that are unseen to us. What might seem undesirable to us down here, we might see a different perspective to up there, such as we may see difficulties as challenges and learning experiences.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2018
    tanker and SeekerOfKnowledge like this.
  20. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2018
    Messages:
    119
    Likes Received:
    279
    Hello @Kenz1010

    I am taking the freedom to anwer your specific point regarding the aspect of "choosing" your life prior to be reborn.

    I have the clear memory of going through a similar process, although it was in such a specific context that I am sure you would be interested in knowing how I remember it.

    I was taken to a specific "location", if I may say. The surroundings were different from all the others I remember in the life between lives, I was "summoned" in a place that felt "higher" by a very wise and loving being, seemingly female. She was, as far as I remember, accompanied by what seemed to be two other male being, but she was the one who made most of the interactions. I felt that the "place" was ..I would say, very cloudy, in a dominance of blue shades.

    She explained that she felt it was time for me to go back and start again, but I was at first very much opposed to the idea. I was still heavily influenced by my previous experience that was violent and sad, and I had grown accustomed to being in the other side and found relief there.

    She then, in a very welcoming wave of the arm, invited me to look down and there I saw what I think was my life now (I don't remember what I saw, but am sure it is was she showed me), and explained that there would be progress for me, along with what I believe is a good way to close the experience of my previous life.

    It is very important to understand that, while I had no choice in choosing, let's say, my exact location (it's not like I had the freedom to pick from a lot of different scenarios), I was in no way forces to go back. I was very positively impressed by the chance she offered me, and as soon as I was hit by the realization that I actually wanted this to happen to me, she smiled and slightly pushed me, I felt like I fell down and it is followed by an intense feeling of being submerged by sensations, and then I have my first memory of my current life.

    It is interesting to point out that, when telling this to my dad, who witnessed my birth, he actually confirmed that the colors I saw on the wall, the colors of the doctor's clothes, the position and shape of the window and where my father was standing were actually consistent with the room I was born in.

    I also have a somehow odd memory of a vision (that I still remember) of the first meet of my parents. I can see how and in what setting my parents met, and cannot decide wether it is imagination or a vision I was given to see prior to my birth, since I think my father might have told me how he met my mother, altough I am sure he never went in such deep details. One thing he told me, not long ago, and after I had these visions, is that the first time he met my mother, he was hit by this realization "I will have children with this woman".

    I find it very beautiful, and frankly very important to my current outlook on life, to know that I was the one who chose to come back, no one forced me even though I feel that it is this wiser female force that "picked" my family. She offered me this beautiful gift and I accepted it.
     
    landsend and tanker like this.

Share This Page