Why the same old song ?

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Jaimie, Nov 27, 2019.

  1. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Hi

    I have experienced a lot of past lives at this point. Something that has complex me is that in several of them I can see the same old song / the same events happening over and over again with one particular soulmate.

    Now if I understand it right there is a belief that once the lessons are taught that this song will be played no more.

    But what if that is not the case ? I can't help but feel as if I am in some loop of some kind. Has anyone else felt this ? Please tell :) Or knows something about this ? Please share.

    From what I can tell we have tried everything to solve this. I was kinda insulted nowadays when realizing after meditation that we have met with the same issue way back in time, during the witch hunt era! Such a unbelievable long time ago. All the lessons should have been learned long ago and yet it has continued into several others lives. Why is that ?

    The situations for us is that he stands between choosing between power/success and me. Power/success was very important to him, first priority. On his way to get the bigger bite of the apple he has planned to eat - that is of course, when we meet. He can't have both, due to the special circumstances built up around us each and every time. In each and everyone I am in the way, sort of like a huge stone on his path to his success. I did not think there was anything wrong with him wanting to be successful, and I too wanted what ever he wanted for himself, and I have always thought he was a beautiful person.

    Seeing this being a theme again and again make me think that maybe it is not true then, maybe the song does not go away ?

    Maybe one is just "cursed" forever dealing with this, that there is no right answer. Even if we have handled it the right way it still always returns. Either there is something wrong with us that I have not spotted, if so please help if you can see something I can't, or we have done it the right way but it makes no difference. It will always be this way.

    /Jaimie
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2019
  2. Eva1942

    Eva1942 A Walking Enigma..

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    I’m not sure if my words will help, but this lifetime for me was all about relearning what I had lost after I was denounced in WWII. This means that I’ve done ALOT of things that I did in WWII, and previous lifetimes, because I have to ‘relearn’ that feeling again.

    I don’t so much think one is ‘cursed’ it just means that perhaps you chose to learn those lessons again until you fulfilled some sort of purpose?

    Eva x
     
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  3. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Thanks for telling. I just feel despondent when experiencing that this went on so very long ago. Then I figure it can't be that we are so slow that we keep repeating the mistake all the way from the witch era period well into the 1950's.

    /Jaimie
     
  4. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jaimie,

    It is hard to know who is learning the lesson--you or him or both. It appears that it takes both of you for this situation to occur. Like many people caught in abusive or toxic relationships, you apparently keep giving him one more chance to choose love over power/success/etc. And he keeps choosing the wrong one. At least until now. Do you suppose you may finally have had enough and are giving him a break to mature spiritually? It could be that the reason you are recalling all of these lifetimes is in order to evaluate what has been happening for so long and to come to some conclusions. It may be that the next time you meet you will have an innate suspicion that requires him to absolutely prove his commitment to you before you commit to him. I don't know. I'm not a "love doctor" with a radio show that advises callers. o_O But one way or another it seems like this guy needs to get his values straightened out, and your current break from him may be a reasonable response to his past failures as well as a recognition of your own silliness in playing the doormat for him time after time. :cool:

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  5. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Being at the threshold, I'd say for me it is to learn about true love, as corny a that sounds.
     
  6. Speedwell

    Speedwell Senior Registered

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    Ken, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

    I'm not in your situation, but more and more as I go about all parts of my daily life, it seems to me that love is all there is to do, there is no other path available to me. Of course there are other paths, but I've been down so many, love is the only one still there, as it always was but I didn't see it before.
     
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  7. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Hi, it is in his very core that what ever he set his mind to he wanted to be the best at. In these 3 past lives he had a choice between being in short a winner or a looser, facing poverty, being stepped allover or you know the other way around. From the meditation things ended very badly for us both in the witch hunt era, he could have walked away and have kept his position but it was as if he woke up. He has throughout these past lives been very protective of me, and that combined with an intense anger could and would led to bad things happening.

    In the life in the 1920s I remember it as if his dads money and promise to support him throughout an higher education was what he gave up when he chose me. And I always think I felt real shitty about that. I felt as if I had destroyed his future. I had tried to sort it out with his dad, but sadly this did not help. I can not say if the two ever mended things after. In the third life in the 1950s he had me really confused in a pressured situation. When I felt the threat to us was too strong I asked him to marry me right away, it was as if I saw things so clear then and there, but in that situation he did not cave in to my pain but told me to wait.

    It was only when I accidentally got pregnant with his baby that he told me to marry him, but it was on his terms, you know, and the way he told me it was gonna happen was not the way I wished for it to happen. He was frustrated with me. I also felt like I had been some disobedient child, that he would think I had not used the protection, that it was my fault, that I had done this to force marriage between us when he had told me before to lay off the wedding thing, giving reasons then about his career, and him not being the man yet that he wanted to be.

    I wanted to be cool about it, but yes, I had felt like a doormat then. With the wedding plans coming so suddenly along with the sudden bomb I dropped about the pregnancy, and as we almost argued about it he said the words I would never forget: You're on your own then. Words that would led me to take distance from him, even in times when he pretended we were ok, and we were still on. I did not dare to confide in him, not even about the pregnancy, not then. He did ask me, though. When he could tell I was independent and told him not to think, worry about it, his eyes were at once filled with tears as he tried to physically get a hold of me, but I got away.

    I don't think he knew the new trap I was in, that was about to happen quite soon. About a year after the break up I could already see the change in him. It was almost as if success had poisoned him or that it was not what he had thought it would be. I genuinely complimented him on his success, was happy for him, so many good things happening now in his life. When I said that it was all downhill for him. Then he had to say "Don't you know, you're my life?".

    From what I experienced he then regretted choosing his career when he did. I think after this last meeting with him I was very sad. I still loved him, I had always loved him, but I had not been able to stand the pain, of being inferior, to watch us take second seat like that, but he had not been able to see that, until sadly it was too late for us.
     
  8. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jaimie,

    Well, I'm baffled. But you're the one who was there. In each situation, what should you have done differently and what should he have done differently? How could these situations have been worked (by both of you) to make it come out right? Is there actually even an answer?

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  9. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jaimie,

    I was thinking about this some more and realized that as much as you may have to seek a workable "solution" there may not be one. My questionable source for a comparison comes from "Star Trek" where one of the problem scenarios that a new command officer candidate faces in training is an unwinnable battle scenario, where he/she must determine how to deal with defeat and destruction with courage and grace.

    I am not saying that the situations you have faced repeatedly are of this type, but that this also has to be considered as a possibility. However, I am at a loss in terms of how to define courage and grace in the situations you describe, just as I am unable to predict a workable "solution". All of these things are perhaps for you alone to determine.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  10. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Hi Sea & Sky !
    Thank you so much for your thoughts and 2 replies. :)

    I have been given it a lot of thought. It is so difficult to say what would be the right thing in each of these 3 lives. I will try to give it more thought and see if I can come up with something and get back to you. I appreciate your 2 replies. Thanks again.

    /Jaimie
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2019
  11. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Hi Sea & Sky ! I am back here with my thoughts ... it is a long answer and I understand if you don't have the will to read it all.

    In all these 3 lives he spots me first. He studies me from a far. I look slightly different in all these 3 lives. He has some kind of superior mainstream looks to him, where we then are. ( I actually still do, but I have not given it a thought til a random of events happened when people, here and there, told me they did not think I was born in my own country. Turns out I have foreign blood in me, which I only think is exciting. No one in my family has spoken of this. Where this blood come from has been put down in generations, sadly ).

    He has a natural pull for what ever stands out, why only he can say, even more so if someone is outcast, has an injury or sickness. He go and help them. Or the way he speaks with them, is with dignity, restoring dignity. I don't think it was the mainstream idea that I would have been his type, by the way that I can see others react. I read his words that I was "hauntingly familiar" when we first met in the 1950's, to a relative of his.

    In all 3 lives he seemed more, not relaxed, I don't even know the word for it, but he seems to be a different guy with other girls, than with me. Even though he was with me playful too .He was light. He was charming. He was like a sun at times. Even so he was very serious about me. Serious when he touched me. Careful. Attentive. He had a dignity about him, a dignity in how he treated me, how he looked at me. I needed not to feel threaten. I was a shy one. He was not imposing himself upon me. He kept in line. There are many fragments of memories when we just hang out. In the 1920's he would go on a bicycle and I would be seated in the back on the side. He would carry me for fun on his back so my feet would not meet the sand when we were at some beach in the 1950's.

    There were all just every day simple things, nothing arranged romantically or fancy. Yet in it's own way it was powerful. It was a powerful feeling when he looked at me during the witch era. At times when our eyes met and I kept contact he sort of went inwards, sort of froze. He was then shy. He had very kind eyes in all 3 lives. But they could also swift. And be very intense. He could also have a sort of explosive temper. But he never wanted me frighten. He was quick to respond when he thought someone stepped on his toes, or on my toes. I would chose to handle things differently from him, but in that regard he was so quick, that he sort of jumped to my defense . I deliberately kept things from him because I knew how he would get. He could get in physical fights because of his temper, with boys, men.

    One typical thing he did around me was to clutch his hands into fists, while trying to keep his cool, but his eyes were intense. In the 1950's as he once surprised me by appearing in a room where I think was at work, his hands were like that. I took my hands over my face because i did not wish for him to see my tears or the fear that was creeping up inside of me. He wanted to talk. But i did not know what words were allowed to be used. I felt trapped. We were not suppose to talk. He was not suppose to be there. ( I was forbidden to tell him that I had not at all cheated on him, which was a story that went out. It was all arranged to be this way. I understood his rage. I would have had it too, if I had thought he had cheated on me when our relationship was still on. ). Because of his fists I thought perhaps he had come to beat me with them. But I don't think he thought of that even. His intense eyes changed. He looked more worried. Compassionate. Yet frustrated. He would hit things, like in the kitchen, the cabin doors in the 1920's. I feel as if he had absolute no interest in hitting a woman or making a woman feel physically inferior to him, I don't think he would be able to do it no matter how explosive he would get.

    Well, now I have described him through my memories. So to me he was both a complicated, yet a simple boy, man.

    In these 3 lives I am on the alert as I smell danger before he does. He thinks he can handle it. We're fine, he thinks. I try to get through, but I can't. He still is mesmerized by the promise of more power, success, career. But this is in a way a struggle too in him. On one side he wants me. On another to wait. On a third he thinks he is OK as long as he has both, even if I am now in an inferior position. It is as if he wanted me to prove my love to him by being in this type of situation, to love him no matter what. He was in those lives thinking he would be a "real man", the main provider. I think he just really thought he wanted a better position in the future, for himself, and in time, for me too, for his family. But this seemed almost just like a dream, with no clear date how, when he would get there, to make it real.

    Then comes the time when he reacts. When he is alerted. By then I am sort of numbed. By then I have trained my thoughts to put his career in the first room, and me, us in the second. I have become inferior and has sort of become OK with this. I become afraid what will happen to him. I have not been able to break free because my love for him was too strong. Yet I am not particularly happy either. But i have accepted my position, at the time. I don't feel strong. I am weak. He looks down on weak people. So I have tried to fake that I don't feel weak. I don't show my vulnerability. he had a good humor and could make me laugh. We could move in this field of being light, and easy, almost like friends, but I think he did not dare to be anything else at this point. He was loosing me, and had been loosing me, in a way he did not wish to address, but I think he felt it. We were avoiding this field: to really talk. I remember I would sort of shrug my shoulders, as if I didn't care, that there was not much anyone could do about it anyhow, what did it matter.

    Then comes the moment during the witch era, when he does not care about any consequences. He just sort of took me. He got me up on a horse, kept his weapon pointed at certain men. I think I was at the time traumatized. It is a flickering experienced memory. I think they wanted him to see me die, see them have the upper hand, before they injured or killed him too for having taken me, or if he had not suddenly stopped being bewitched. It is hard to say as I was leaving my body and it all got further away.

    In the 1920's the moment came for him when he chose poverty and chose me, us instead. It was something to do with his father. I just don't think he could stand the inferior position his father had placed me in. That this made him walk away. He would not accept the terms on which he was to get money from his father and continue his education. He had had enough of putting me in darkness.

    And now to the third life, in the 1950's. I have had this repeated scene where he wants me to leave my home, where my parent stand in between, and the situation is a threatening one. I stand paralyzed. He had intense eyes. He reaches out his hand to me. He then hit the door with his fist, like come on! tome or shut up! to the parent. This was the time he knew he would loose everything else; his career, his secured position of money. But he didn't care. He wanted me to go with him. He had made the decision then and there. So that was his time. I have not thought of this scene like this until today. I have not been able to analyze it much.

    I think the mistake I made though was that I made the decision for him -- to still have his dream of career come true. I thought it was too late for us. One should not make decision concerning someone else like that. It was his decision to make, not mine. Another mistake was to exclude him from the pregnancy. When he had said you're on your own then it was a direct answer, hurt emotions. When he came around after that I held him to his old words. I wouldn't let him back in. One should not confuse the romantic relationship and the relationship, the right to the child. he had a right to come around, if not for me ( but he tried with me ), then with the child.

    /Jaimie
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2019 at 11:22 AM
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  12. Polaris8

    Polaris8 Senior Member

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    Jaimie, I tend to agree with Eva on this. Soul mate relationship are very intense in terms of the karmic relationship. There is something very deep that we need to learn from the other soul about ourselves and vise a verse with them. And until that lesson is learned on a (soul level) it will be repeated until it is learned. After all we have all eternity to learn it. I had a somewhat similar situation with my first partner Glen. We had a long distance relationship as he lived in Ohio and I in San Diego at the time. During the course of the relationship I realized from the start this was a soul mate relationship not a karmic one which many relationships are with most people. Glen at the time was not fully out of the closet as I was. I was 35 then he was 50. So there were many things he did not want to deal with in this lifetime. So the relationship was back and forth during the time we were together. I knew he had a friend back there name Max. What I did not know was he was having another relationship with this person at the same time. To make a long story short I found out about the other person when I called Glen to let him know I was back from my trip to see him. However the other one picked up the phone and said Hello. I said is this Max? He said yes. He knew who I was. I told him to let Glen know I was back he said he would. As I walked away from the phone and stop in mid stride and turned and called back. Max answer; I said can I ask you a question do you love him. He said yes do you do you? I said yes and said we both had a problem. During the phone conversation we found out that Glen was telling him one story and me another. So we both agreed for him to call me after I got back from visiting him back east. When he called back he knew he had been caught so he said on the phone (were do I start?) I said well how about the truth this time. He had fallen in love with two people and did not want to let either one of us go. But I told him he created this situation so he had to make a choice which one to continue the relationship. However he could not. So he mention about flying back to the west coast for a business trip in SF and that I could met him in SF and we could try to work things out. I was so mad at him at the time that I told him, no this is what we are going to do. You are to fly down to San Diego, get a rent a car, pick me up and drive up to SF and get a hotel room and you are to pay for everything. So he did. During that time while up in SF the other one kept calling asking if he had broken up with me or not. But Glen just could not do it he was a torn man.

    It was then I realized this was a soul lesson for me! That real love was not about power or control over the other. Love just is. And that I had to love myself enough to say no more. As this was not love it was ego. So I told him that I loved him, and that I would always love him but I had to break it off with him because I deserved better then this. For the first time I saw him cry. He look at me and understood. That day we left SF I going back to San Diego and Him back to Ohio. Three months later I lost my job of 11 yrs and was dealing with being unemployed. During this time Max (the other one called). I thought what could you possibly want! I lost my soul mate to that of another what now? However Max called to inform me that Glen had died. It was totally shocked! and it was then I let go all that bad feelings I had about the situation. I said I was sorry and both of us talked and over time became best friends. I went thru a dark night of soul period after that but came out of it a changed soul from the experience. The soul lesson was never repeated again. This is how karma works. I also realized we have more than just one soul mate. That there were others of like mind and spirit out there and that I would meet them when I was ready to open my heart again to love.

    So until you love yourself enough my friend the lesson will repeat itself until the lesson is learned. When you do, you will have grown to a new level of spiritual consciousness and because of that new souls will be drawn into your inner circle where you will form new relationships with them that reflect the same state of awareness as yourself as the old state of consciousness drops away.

    Hope this helps some.

    Love and Peace P.
     
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