Why this life?

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Jim78, Sep 28, 2018.

  1. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Here are some excerts of some more poetry I wrote as a teenager:

    "A Tricolour expanding over fields of blood
    Dragging innocence along its trail.

    Will they wake to a dead Republic
    And leave guilt to its citizens
    With a bigots eye left to their children."

    That quote was about the Irish Troubles which was still ongoing at the time. The first part was a reference to the Irish civil war. The second part was a reference to the generational sectarianism in the North of Ireland.

    After I remembered reincarnation I realised that my views on the troubles didn't come to me independently. They were a result of a life being lived during the war of independence and the civil war.

    As a result I was always in opposition to the terrorism of the provisional IRA. I refused to support it and I viewed anyone that did as being foolish.

    I was also against the Iraq war. I went on all the protests and signed all the petitions. I knew it wouldn't change anything but again I took an anti war stance.

    Then I had dealings with a powerful sociopath. That was much simpler. Sociopaths are shamelessly evil after all. I fought for years. It never entered my head to take an "anti war" stance with a sociopath. They were evil after all, not bigoted or misguided.

    Then I discovered that I was wrong about them and that "evil" was simply an erroneous perception I had of them. Again I took an anti war stance on a large scale but I still fought my private war.

    I fought enough wars in my past lives to know its futility but it never entered my head not to fight for love. I didn't see a real war in my current life yet I've learned the most profound lesson on conflict out of any life that I remember.

    Why have I lived a life without grand scale conflict only to learn that all conflict is wrong?

    Also here are more excerts:

    "Beware of the black soldier,
    A warrior impaling forests of expendable skulls,
    Touching everyone.

    He longs to wage the bloodiest war,
    Battering the morals of peacemakers
    And comforting his Generals."

    I wrote that also as a teenager with the idea of an entity that encourages men in conflict and feeds off of their misery. I thought I would be just another soul entrapped by this entity. Yet since remembering reincarnation I wonder if I am the black soldier. Incarnating again and again to enjoy the organised chaos of battle and being lionised by others who don't understand my true nature.

    Is my soul living such lives as an expression of my nature or did I simply have to endure all aspects of conflict before I realised its futility?

    My current life gives me hope that I don't have to be the black soldier because I found a generally peaceful solution this go round.
     
  2. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    You probably will feel much better if you see it that way. To me, it makes sense. It took you many lives, but you have learned something. And you do not have to be the "black soldier" ever again if you do not want to.
     
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  3. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Thanks SeekerOfKnowledge. I talked about the battle between good and evil in men in the week leading up to my first pl memories.

    Since remembering my mind has been in a struggle between light and dark and part of that is not knowing if I'm a positive influence or a negative influence.

    It creates tension in me.

    I have learned though and I did make a correct choice before I learned so maybe I was heading for that awakening. I just wish I knew where to go from here.
     
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  4. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    Same here, in a way...
     
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  5. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

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    Could be worse at least you don't have the anger or rage but I am hopeful that you get through it all before old age so that the cycle is broken for good.
     
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  6. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jim,

    I have usually found that I have an idea of where I want to go or would like to go "from here" (in an ideal universe with an ideal me), but realism usually makes me discount my ideas as it seems impossible to me after looking at all the "facts".

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  7. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi There and back again.

    I have anger and rage at times. Little bursts of anger that it seems like other people who have been involved in conflict haven't gotten to the point of seeing the wrongs in combat.

    I have rage at myself at times for the way I've behaved.

    I also get defensive about my experiences around disbelief.

    Then I chastise myself for not changing immediately.
     
  8. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi S&S.

    Yup. Reality is always a slap in the face but I'm totally lost. It seems to me that God expects people to behave with utter powerlessness in the face of evil and trust in Him that everyone will be alright.

    That seems to me to be an impossible goal without cutting all ties to friends and family and locking myself away in my home. Suppose something happens to someone I care about? According to what I've learned I'm meant to do nothing about it.
     
  9. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jim,

    You say, "According to what I've learned I'm meant to do nothing about it." What did you learn, and who did you learn if from?

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
  10. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi S&S.

    I've talked about it in other topics. I made a moral choice where I realised that combating an evil would have created a greater evil, so I stopped fighting the big fight.

    Then as I said in that demonic topic I had an encounter with true evil and all it had to do was shine a light on the evil that my souls done.

    Then my old love rejected me because I hadn't realised the hell I'd put her through by refusing to stop fighting evil.

    Its a very long and complicated story with many details I wouldn't post in a public forum but its enough to say that my life lived and my utter powerlessness in the face of true evil illuminated for me the futility in combating evil. One never beats it, its just perpetuated.

    If every man refused to fight evil evil would have no power. Even terrorists think they are fighting an evil, a belief system, a heretic, whatever.

    https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/a-salute-to-michael-collins-1.1092808

    How many young men have been inspired to violence by my past selves? In my opinion when we stop building men of violence up as heroes our children may have a chance to live in a peaceful world.
     
  11. LaurelH

    LaurelH Member

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    I have respect for what you’re sharing. I tried to reply in a helpful way but deleted them all realizing I just don’t know enough of the answers to the issues with which you grapple. I just couldn’t get the words out right. You sound weary and I’m sorry for your suffering but also appreciate that you reject evil and I try to do the same to the best of my ability. I wanted to show my support and wish you rest and peace. You’re not alone, though your suffering is substantial.
     
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  12. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jim,

    You seem to mix, without distinction, the life and pursuits of a violent Social Justice Warrior (SJW) with the much more limited right of personal and family self-defense. I'm not sure where the exact dividing line is, but to my mind there is a big difference between the person who undertakes to change society by violence and the one who is minding their own business and is attacked. The ordinary SJW (of whatever type) is, so to speak, invading public space and often other people's personal space to facilitate some change they believe in. He/she is taking the battle to the infidel of whatever kind, and when non-violent methods do not succeed, some proportion of SJW's resort to violence. That is a far cry from the father who shoots an armed intruder in his home threatening his wife and children.

    Cordially,
    S&S

    PS--I use the term "Social Justice Warrior" though it is a modern invention, as it is descriptive of a "rallying cry". They may be fighting for one thing or another, but their rallying cry is always based on some idea that they are advancing the cause of Social Justice. As I use the term, it could include the ones I agree with as well as the ones I detest. I.e., the Founding Fathers of the U.S. as well as the wild-eyed bomb throwing anarchist (or Jihadi). In my day, the SJWs included the Students for a Democratic Society. The SDS wasn't radical or violent enough for some, and we then got the "Weathermen" and the "Symbionese Liberation Army", etc. There was a lot of bombing and violence. It hasn't quite come to that with the current iteration of SJWs in the U.S., but it is rapidly heading in that direction.
     
  13. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Thank you LaurelH.
     
  14. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    What you learned through experience was told through stories/tales when I was a youngster. It is a shame that political Correctness and Racial Issues reduced the availability of Song of the South because that lovable Uncle Remus helped my understanding of what you are expressing on a couple of different levels perhaps. The "Tar-Baby" tale came to mind while reading your post and I recognize that the wisdom I found there reappeared as a reminder at a number of times in my life - Remus was a hero to me at the time because of the understandings the tales brought.
     
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  15. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi S&S.

    For me there is no distinction anymore. Don't forget that in my current life I didn't set out to change a country or fight for everyone's freedom. I fought for my freedom and the freedom of the woman I loved. It was a deeply personal fight.

    Its because of that that I've lost the distinction between an SJW and a man protecting those he loves.

    I'm reminded of the AA steps:

    "We must practise those principles in all our affairs"

    Or Captain Jean Luc Picard:

    "How many people does it take before it becomes wrong?"

    Doing evil for any reason is wrong. We can justify it. I used to justify it.

    "There are necessary evils"

    "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs"

    Its a slippery slope.

    There is precedence for this thinking...Jesus. He could have ran, he could have fought, he could have sold his disciples out. He didn't. He let evil happen to him and trusted in God.

    I'm aware that man says man has the right to defend his home but what do people say that the Almighty says? "Trust in me"

    I'm paying in my current life for millennia of sacrificing morality for a greater good and I've learned that committing evil for any reason is wrong.

    My own "rallying cry" has become a trauma to me. I only hear myself inspiring others to do evil.

    So I ask again, why this life? Why did I have to learn such a foreign concept?
     
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  16. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi Ken.

    All the stories and tales I read as a child were of heroes fighting evil. I figured since it had most peoples approval surely it would have Gods approval.

    My own last life death is the "Tar Baby" all over. I didn't have to fight. We could have driven on.

    But what of those times when you feel you have to fight? Such as when a sociopath is abusing someone you love? That turned out to be the "Tar Baby" too. Life can be very deceptive. If I'd my way I'd retire from life completely.
     
  17. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jim,

    I think you are basically an old fashioned Quaker at heart. Whether you would find their theology palatable or not, you have definitely come to the place most of them occupied. After the carnage of the English Civil War and the seemingly never ending internecine battles of religion that continued after (and in which the Quakers were viciously persecuted) the world and the causes and results of violence looked the same to them as it does to you (from what I can make out). They adopted their Peace Testimony in the midst of persecution and violence, and have largely been non-participants and conscientious objectors in all conflicts and wars since then. They remain as a whole, however, tremendously active "do-gooders" and SJWs in the peaceful sense. The current variety have my grudging admiration, though I do not necessarily agree with all of the stands taken by their modern sons and daughters on various issues. (Plus, the modern variety--in the U.S. anyway--has abandoned the theology and religion of their founders, though they still adhere in most cases to the Peace Testimony).

    Anyhow, it seems to me that most modern Quakers, like many others in this latter day, have abandoned their first love, and become something quite different from what they used to be. This is unfortunate from my perspective, as I find their initial beliefs to be quite revolutionary, insightful and positive. That doesn't mean that I agree with all of them, but still . . . . I can't help but be a bit wistful about what has been lost there. Modern is OK as far as it goes, but Quaker faith and practice at its best (in the past) was legendary.

    Cordially,
    S&S

    PS--There is a charming movie available on Youtube: "Friendly Persuasion" starring Gary Cooper about a Quaker family trying to live their beliefs while the U.S. Civil War is going on around them. I think it is about $2.99 U.S. to watch.

    PPS--You can also look at a free version over-dubbed in Russian if you like. Interestingly, a copy of the movie was given by a U.S. President as a gift to a Russian Big-shot at some point. So, this is probably what was done with it over there.
     
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  18. AlexD

    AlexD aka Shadow

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    S&S, in my understanding Jim didn't stumble into a theology or a set of beliefs. It is a universal, intuitive and absolute concept that seems to be unreachable -at least at the present time- by the majority of human beings.

    I just wanted to share a quote by Nietzsche that seemed befitting in this case: "He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee."

    That also reminds me of a quote from the movie Ghost in the Shell 2 - Innocence:
    "Who can gaze into the mirror without becoming evil? The mirror does not reflect evil, but creates it." -Major Motoko Kusanagi
     
  19. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi S&S.

    I know nothing about the Quakers. All I know is that I fought my way to understanding.

    I'm also not a conscientious objector. I'm a soldier whose seen enough fighting to realise the futility in it.

    What I don't understand is why I was given this lesson when most of humanity is walking around oblivious though.
     
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  20. Jim78

    Jim78 Senior Registered

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    Hi Alex.

    Your right. I didn't stumble on a belief system or a theology. I learned a hard soul lesson.

    Your quotes speak to the mirroring that I saw in my vision of Hell and the abyss certainly gazed into me. It was a very traumatic experience.

    I wouldn't bother going out and preaching what I've learned though. Man has to arrive at the same conclusion by himself or he will not fully integrate the lesson.
     

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