Why was he so angry ?

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Jaimie, Jun 6, 2019.

  1. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    I've experienced during past life meditation a life that I am not really sure where to place it in time and I can't even say what country. My guess would be in Europe or the US but I can be wrong. Got no name. Emotions all over the place though.

    What I remember was that I was a young woman who was part of, like many were, the campaign of allowing women to vote. Think many of my friends were.

    The father of the house got so mad at me I had to really try my hardest not to interrupt the meditation. I had noticed several others in my soul group and then I think I could see who he was but not from this life but from another past life.

    I don't think I am wrong in my thoughts that this father frighten me in all kinds of ways and the women I knew tried to give support.

    He would humiliate me in front of our family and we had staff too, I think they were mother and daughter and also an aging grandfather or father/husband to them. I think I grew up with all of them. I know they had a different staircase or something, a different part of the house where they were when they weren't out with us ? I loved these staff members even if rules placed us in different worlds. I could see people from my soul group.

    I can't say for how long we battled this but the home really did feel like a battlefield of 2.

    I think I was the only woman in the family to be part of this, wanting women to vote, but still I got the impression that it was modern to do so, from what I could tell everyone got so silent when he started to stare and pick a fight with me. I was only being honest.

    I still don't understand why some men thought it was bad for women to get the right to vote and why he took it so personal, like I had insulted him. I think he gave me education and beautiful clothes to wear and I think his work was important. There was painting of us in the house as if he was proud of us.

    I said the word "disgrace". It was a word he used.

    The worst part was perhaps when he told me I was too old to be punished but since I still was unmarried ( and lived at home ) and did not know better he was in his right to do so.

    It was also as if he did not think I would marry. The word "disgrace" came again.

    I think I was a well raised girl. I was polite.

    I even let him punish me, which was violence really and it hurt, without defending myself. I only stood there and let him talk to me like that and let him do it to me. ( I was angry with myself afterwards for not defending myself but I was a machine, numbed ).

    There was some situation in the living room and in the dining room when I could feel my shoulders getting tense. he made his wife, my mother, or my siblings or the staff to tell him about where I had been at this or that hour and because I did not want them to be in trouble I would confess or say something that would protect them but expose me. I could feel everyone staring at me. Maybe this is where my highly uncomfortable emotion come from when a lot of people look at me ? they thought he would show mercy on me if they said the truth. I did not feel at all as if they wanted me to be punished. One told me almost in panic to please say I was sorry and spoke on my behalf , but I shook my head and said I was not sorry but not in an arrogant way. Again there was silence. Some woman, think it was my mother said "Please!" before someone else took her out of the room. The most emotional part was when she got loose, ran to me, and nearly fell down, looking at me with her desperate big eyes ( I was seated down in a sofa in the living room), holding her hands in mine and telling me to please say I was sorry. If I loved her, please say I was sorry. She was shaking in her hands, her body too it felt like.

    I said to him one time something like the only way you will make me stop is if you will kill me. That was the heart of the sentence at least. His response was something like we'll see about that.

    Tears were running down my cheeks. He told me to do something with my hands. To show them or something. I can't believe I did it. He hit them with something that I don't know the name of.

    I remember his threat that I would be taken away to live in a hospital ? Why would I live in a hospital for ? I don't know if I got there or not or what happened but somehow the thought of going to hospital put real fear in me.

    He was trying to really break me down. How could he do this to his own child ? One got all these fine clothes and way of speaking and then you have this barbaric ways all joined together.

    Could it really have been like this ? Could fathers have lost it so completely ? I did not at all feel that I hated any man, there were men in my family that I loved and in the staff. I could not understand the hate my father showed towards me.

    I'm sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable when writing in this manner.

    /Jaimie
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2019
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  2. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jaimie,

    Corporal punishment was very common up until recently. (It has gradually faded out in many contexts over my lifetime--though it certainly still exists). With children, the two areas that were commonly "spanked" historically were the palm of the hand and the buttocks. This could be done at school or at home. In the old fashioned school house during the bygone era you describe (at least in the U.S.), it was typically administered to the palm. This was done using a flat ruler or a thin cane to give stinging swats to the palm and could be very painful. With you as a young woman, administering punishment to the palm would certainly have been considered more appropriate than the alternate location. However, it would still have been a deliberately humiliating act, as it would be treating you like a mere school girl or child and not as a responsible young woman.

    For some reason, your father apparently took what you were doing not only as an act of rebellion, but as a serious personal affront and offense. In that regard, I can only speculate that this was because of the conflict between your position and actions on this issue and the status of the father as head of household. This was considered to be the "natural" order of things and was not only strongly believed by most in that era, it would have been almost universal. In the mind of the vast majority, that position would also include being spokesman and representative of the household in both the public and political arena (including casting whatever "vote" was to be cast on behalf of the family). So, from that standpoint, you would not only be rebelling against his expressed wishes as a daughter, but flaunting and usurping his societal and family position as head of household and of his own family. Besides that, there may have been concern that your actions would ruin your reputation and that of the family, causing you or the family to be scorned because you were a "Suffragette".

    In terms of hospitalization. Yes, this could have been a threat, and I have heard of that type of thing before. As your father, it may have been possible for him to have had you committed for "treatment" with very little proof of anything on your part. I've read about that type of thing, but I really can't say whether he was sincere in threatening this, would really have done it, or could have succeeded if he tried.

    In any case, it might be better to try to understand and forgive. We've all done stupid stuff in this life and past lives based on what we thought (or society thought) was the right way to behave at that time. Your father was probably, in many ways, just acting like a typical father of his era, and probably thought he was being a "good" father in doing so. You were the one who was atypical and ahead of your time! Unfortunately, people who break new ground and step out ahead of the rest will often suffer some harsh consequences. This may not be fair, but it is the way things often work.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  3. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    Many of us forget to look at things in historical perspective, and judge (or wonder) using modern norms. This makes me wonder what unacceptable things are we, good / decent / reasonable people, doing now that will horrify future generations? Our statues will be toppled for sure ...
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2019
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  4. Klaud

    Klaud Senior Member

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    Why men used to look at women as lesser is a complex issue that can have a variety of answers depending on who you ask.

    It really was a different time, but those unfair viewpoints are how we live and learn. I'm ashamed to admit that a few of my past selves thought that way and it was definitely wrong.

    As for the hospital thing, he might have been referencing a mental asylum. Many perfectly sane and normal people were committed to them for behavior that was considered 'abnormal' or hysterical. A lot of people were unfortunately sent there for things we could easily treat or deal with now.
     
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  5. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Barosan,

    Unfortunately, I could not give your last post more than one "like". It deserves at least a dozen more. Each generation and era smugly decides that it is the pinnacle of civilization, only to be looked down on by subsequent eras/generations--often with very good reason. There are gross and horrific crimes being committed in the current era that will drench our current era in shame when looked back on from a future perspective. Consequently, we have little reason to bask in a sense of superiority. Plus, when we trash the past, and the people of the past, we should always remember that they was us. ;) If we weren't living in one past era doing something terrible we were probably in another past era doing something even more terrible. When I am aghast (which I am at the moment) at what was done by the Inquisition I have to remind myself that I might have been one of the ones doing it. o_O

    Hi Klaud,

    Yes, I was referring to commitment to a mental asylum. And, like you, I have heard that many sane (but non-conforming, embarrassing and/or inconvenient) people were committed in prior years--often by their families. Whether her father was serious in making this threat or only intended to frighten his daughter into submission is another matter. Perhaps Jaime will have further memories at some point in time.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  6. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Thank you everyone very much for replying. I understand things better now. I could feel her surprise at first, it had nothing to do with her father why she and the others believed that women should get the right to vote, that her reasoning came from an intellectual level. That he simply did not understand.

    It was the grandfather or older husband in the staff family that she really looked up to instead.

    I had visions of her and his daughter or granddaughter playing in the garden while he was working and she would follow him everywhere, talking, talking and he would listen. She would sing too a lot and he would teach her songs. He had a different accent I think than her family had. I think she wanted better for them too. She would wait by their door to their staircase and when being little she tried to open it herself, it was not allowed. She wanted to play with the staff's daughter. From what I can tell they did play and did all sorts of things together when being small children but they had different clothes on them.

    Then at some time I was coming home from some big event, perhaps had finished school or been away and then returned home. Behind her family she saw the staff-grandfather or staff-father and she felt a fatherly love for him and wanted to greet him but knew by then that it was not allowed, but their eyes met and he looked so wonderful.

    /Jaime
     
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  7. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    hi, I found this article https://www.thoughtco.com/national-womans-rights-conventions-3530485 and with the fashion and things I saw relate further back in time and turns out the suffragette movement began in 1848. They also brought up other women's rights issues as well. So there were these National Woman's rights conventions 1850-1869.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2019
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  8. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jaimie,

    If those early activities look the most familiar you were not only ahead of your time, you were waaaaaay ahead of your time. Things changed a lot over the 50-60 years between the time you were involved and the early 1900s. They were still nowhere near what we would consider normative, but at least by the early 1900s there was a long record of doing this type of thing. At the beginning it would not only have been seen as misguided, wrong-headed and/or unnecessary, but utterly novel, crazy, bizarre and/or ridiculous. The jeering men in the balconies give a good indication of this. (There is even one making faces on the left side).

    As noted, I don't think your father's reaction would be that far out of line for the era and situation. Others may have been kinder and tried to understand, but the concept was so counter-cultural to most when first voiced it was almost certain to generate an adverse reaction.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  9. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Hi, forgive me before hand if I am going to sound somewhat confused

    It all started with me making in the last hour loose searches for suffragette way back in time which then led me to recognizing one, very much so. Still this woman was not in my meditation. This is the lady
    upload_2019-6-7_21-55-37.jpeg
    Her name was Sarah and she had a sister Angelina Grimke. They were suffragettes, came from well to do families in the South and were against slavery and was for women rights.

    The family truly loved education and although her father was supportive he drew the line and refused to have her daughter learn Latin. Sarah wanted to teach their slaves to read and was close to a slavery girl that was her "own" slave and when her father found out that she had taught her slave read he ( he was a judge ) got violent and nearly whipped Sarah's poor slave girl to death ! ( it was illegal to teach slaves to read back then )

    The sisters also had a brother who would have children with a colored woman who all became well educated.

    The 2 sisters also had a boarding school ( Maybe my suffragette went there or was a relative to them or both ?).

    Could it be that the Sadie I might have been who died in the 1920's came from biracial family but that her husband, 100% blond and blue eyed did not and maybe his "fine" prejudiced family found out about that, having done their research on the "scholarship" outside girl Sadie and not have giving their blessing to their marriage ? Maybe she was part of Sarah's family three?

    Sarah and her sister became Quakers later in life. When I was during meditation and perhaps was this Sadie I wore no nail polish and had very neat clothes, not showing much of anything really, had long dresses. If I got the right father then he would conduct music in churches and in theater all over. I don't know if all this could have influenced the different style that I felt I had unlike some of the other girls ?


    If I got the right Sadie's father's name in my research he lost his wife quite early and I have not read that he remarried. So I know nothing about her mother's side of the family, relatives.

    I have not thought of Sadie coming from a biracial family until Sea and Sky pointed out the possibility due to the South and me feeling familiar with Voodoo during meditation.

    Then I don't know how my "suffragette" fit into the picture, maybe she was a relative way back in time of Sadie's? Maybe influenced by the Grimke family ?


    I have had the strange experience in a possible past life of helping a woman, a friend, give birth and then have her kiss me the way I had only experienced I think a man kiss me before, saying that now no one would take me away from her (as if I was to stay in the family and help care for the new born ).

    When I searched for more regarding Sarah's family, relatives I saw that one of the relatives who it said came from the same biracial family was either a lesbian or bisexual and would in a letter to a close friend want to call her - her wife. She too had a very ugly collision with her father whom they think knew of her true sexuality but it is not known if her friend was bisexual or lesbian ( but likely ? ).

    I have read of some being reborn into the same family or to relatives through time. Maybe it is a very long shot that these are the people but still the glimpses I have of several potential past life seem to fit into this one ?

    upload_2019-6-7_21-55-37.jpeg endslifeinriver.jpg
    Above a pic of Sarah and a pic of Sadie with her husband. Is it just me or do they have the same kind of chin and same shape of the face in general ? I know it is a very poor picture of Sadie but still. Maybe they were related ?

    Only my thoughts and I could be very wrong about this loose theory. It is still spooky and confusing to me at the same time. I apologize if I come across as a lunatic ... It does help to write down these thoughts here anyway :)

    Sorry for my confusing way of telling all this...

    Thank you

    /Jaimie
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2019
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  10. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Jaimie,

    The girl that drowned herself, didn't she have a little daughter or do I mix things up?
     
  11. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jaimie,

    You're starting to think "outside the box"--and that is probably a good thing. However, there are so many possibilities here it could take you a long time to establish the possible connections you are glimpsing. Internet research is good, but it is almost certainly going to require a lot more "glimpses" of the past as well.

    Good luck!

    Cordially,
    S&S

    PS--For some reason I think the Voodoo connection is important. Voodoo was in active practice in New Orleans during the relevant periods, and I think that Hoodoo was possibly even more common. White folks might consult a knowledgeable old "Root Doctor" (Hoodoo) or other practitioner of these arts just like people have always consulted the archetypal gypsy with her crystal ball. But an in-depth familiarity with either of these arts would have indicated a deep familiarity with--and possible participation in--black culture during the relevant time periods. I suppose such knowledge might, in certain circumstances, have been gathered via a very close relationship with the ever present black housekeepers and nannies (referred to as mammies) of that day and age--if she was an adept. However, that seems like a long shot to me. So, maybe you are correct in your speculations.

    PPS--Also, the development of women's rights, suffrage and abolitionist movements in the 1800s seem to have been intimately connected to some of the strong religious/spiritual movements of the time. The two that stand out to me are the Quakers and Spiritualism. In Quakerism, women ministers were common and were accepted as equals from the founding of this movement. Very plain dress and clothing was always a distinctive part of this movement as well as pacifism, abolitionism, social activism, and silent meditative worship practices. However, Quakerism never has had a strong presence in the South, whereas Spiritualism was popular almost everywhere in the U.S. during its peak years. The beginning of Spiritualism in the mid-1800s pushed female mediums to the center of attention, and there have been many discussions of how this particular (very popular) movement affected the status and view of females during that era. Plus, I note that Voodoo and Spiritualism developed a close relationship at some point in Louisiana . What this strange and turbulent mix of religious and spiritual movements may have to do with your past lives I don't know--I'm just throwing out some possibilities to see if any resonate.

    PPPS--I also can't neglect to mention the Women's Temperance Movement, which was very strong during the 1800s. The stern face in that photo certainly looks like the type to wield an axe to break up barrels of "demon rum". Those were some very tough, strong-minded and independent ladies!
     
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  12. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Thank you very much Sea & Sky ! :) I find what you write terribly interesting. / Jaimie
     
  13. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Hi Fireflydancing :) ! I understand that you do since I have been writing about my own daughter in this life having had nightmare and talking about drowning. On top of that I have also described my own nightmare about trying to save a child from drowning. If Sadie was actually me in a past life then there was no mention in the article that she was a mother. The way it might have been was that I was pregnant in midst of boyfriend's important education which was why he married her but then she miscarried.
    /Jaimie
     
  14. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Ok, I got lost within your stories. The reason I asked is the following (and maybe it makes no sense but it's you to decide).
    If we assume that this girl was from the biracial ascent without her boyfriend/husband knowing this, she must have been afraid/scared/depressed when she found out she was pregnant. Her beloved child would become a ticking time bomb as well. We know, she knew, that genes come back in the next generations. The chance that this child would be going to show the world her hidden secret was high. That would place her in an impossible position: admit to the world (read inlaws) that she was from biracial descent or (her second 'option') she would be accused of marital infidelity with a black man.
    You can't choose what would be worse in her position given the attitude of that time.
     
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  15. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    I've slipped into some sort of meditation or flashbacks state of mind now and then since my meditation of the young woman wanting women to have the right to vote
    ( among other things I imagine ).

    Then during this night I have had the same short movie play in midst of my dream and it is repeating itself from the flashbacks I've had and were exploding of emotions. So I have woken up a lot because of these during the night.

    It is about her being in a hurry to leave the home where her family lives, I would guess to run away but am not sure, she was up when the rest were asleep I think, it was darker around her and more silent. I think they expected that because the grandfather/father?-staff man was up as if he was put in charge and they are both at the front door and he is trying to talk her into staying and say he can't let her go and she was frustrated and afraid and in a near panic state. It was as if they were close to whispering when talking. She was trying to make him understand he had to let her go. Then it stops. I don't know if she got out of there or not.

    Then there is another when she is in this really lovely room, I think it could be her room, and I think she has been locked up or something like that. It is on the second floor. Thoughts came to me that she had to apologize, stop being part of it and get married and then restart it again but then she had to find someone who would not be like her father about this.

    She is more convinced than ever before that a lot of people were not treated fairly in society and all the pain it caused. Why some had all the benefits including herself from a financial and social point of view. I have the strong knowing that her mother was part of helping people, poor people and other people, people that were sick and that she was part of this women group but that was all there was - just women there and it felt like there was limited resourced to what could be done but if the men with the money got involved then more could be helped. That legally doors needed to open. It was the limitations that were so frustrating. This came to me just knowing this was how it was.

    I understand that the Grimké sisters were teachers at schools in Philadelphia and Boston so maybe that is where she was living with her family ?

    I had one vision during dream of me standing outside and looking at a home and it had big garden all around. Big home. I don't think I have even seen that home before. Maybe it was hers? On the second floor the windows to her room were of a certain shape so I think it could be her room on the second floor. Then the vision vanished.
     
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  16. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jaime,

    It's hard to know whether the things described are in chronological order. If they are in order, it sounds like you (1) did not leave, (2) developed a plan of action that was all the realities of the day allowed, (3) became even more convinced (and "advanced") in your views, and (4) were part of a wealthy family. Hopefully, there will be more that will help you understand how this story turned out.

    By the way, the elderly man who held you back definitely had your best interest at heart. And, if you take some time to think about it, you will see that you were acting like a very impetuous and emotional young person. From a practical standpoint, running away would have almost inevitably have ended very badly. Without funding in that day and age, and in rebellion from your family, who would have taken you in? Anyone who knew you would almost certainly have sent you back, and there was next to nothing in terms of jobs or positions open other than positions in "service". But you would not fit into that milieu, would not have been able to present references, and would probably have been rejected immediately if anyone was aware of your radical views. Plus, another family in the position to take you as a maid or governess would have been more likely to side with your family. Teacher? No one in decent society would want their children taught by such a "rebel". Then there were, possibly, some agricultural and factory jobs for the lower classes. Do you think you could have done either and not have been far worse off than you already were? Plus, you were a young, impoverished, helpless and unprotected female in that day and age. You would have been unused to the crude and rough surroundings and almost certain to have been taken advantage of in the worst possible ways.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2019
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  17. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Jaime,

    Oops, I did not take location into account above. Based on what you said about the Grimke sisters, you may well have been located in or near two "hotbeds" for "advanced" thinking in that day. Philadelphia was founded by Quakers, of whom I have spoken before. Boston was also likely to contain activists interested in the social issues of the day--as long as they were directed at people they didn't like (e.g., competing aristocrats from the South) and/or didn't threaten their social position. However, both locations were still intensely "Victorian" during that era with a strong sense of propriety, and the idea of suffrage was apparently in its infancy. So, though these areas may have been sympathetic to some of your ideas they may well have been intensely opposed to others. In any case, your chances of finding someone to take you in and give you work suitable to your level of cultivation were not quite zero. Consequently, your chances of making it on your own might have been somewhat better than outlined in my last post. However, going out on your own would still have been a very risky proposition IMO.

    However, knowing the possible location, you may be in a better position to do online research. It could be Philadelphia, but overall (especially based on the situation and the family) it sounds very much like you were a member of what has been referred to as the "Boston Brahmin" Caste. You will find a great deal written on that subject, as well as a lot of possible photographic images to peruse (as these folks were wealthy and could afford to be photographed/painted). You may find photos that include family and home. You may even find one you recognize as yourself. It may be quickest to start here:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_Brahmin

    Here is an interesting quote from the article that sounds very much like your situation:

    "All of Boston's "Brahmin elite" . . . maintained the received culture of the old English gentry, including cultivating the personal excellence that they imagined maintained the distinction between gentlemen and freemen, and between ladies and women. They saw it as their duty to maintain what they defined as high standards of excellence, duty, and restraint. Cultivated, urbane, and dignified, a Boston Brahmin was supposed to be the very essence of enlightened aristocracy.[7][8] The ideal Brahmin was not only wealthy, but displayed what was considered suitable personal virtues and character traits.

    The Brahmin was expected to maintain the customary English reserve in his dress, manner, and deportment, cultivate the arts, support charities such as hospitals and colleges, and assume the role of community leader.[9]:14 Although the ideal called on him to transcend commonplace business values, in practice many found the thrill of economic success quite attractive. The Brahmins warned each other against avarice and insisted upon personal responsibility. Scandal and divorce were unacceptable. The total system was buttressed by the strong extended family ties present in Boston society. Young men attended the same prep schools, colleges, and private clubs,[10] and heirs married heiresses. Family not only served as an economic asset, but also as a means of moral restraint. Most belonged to the Unitarian or Episcopal churches, although some were Congregationalists or Methodists. Politically they were successively Federalists, Whigs, and Republicans. They were marked by their manners and once distinctive elocution, the Boston Brahmin accent, a version of the New England accent. Their distinctive Anglo-American manner of dress has been much imitated and is the foundation of the style now informally known as preppy. Many of the Brahmin families trace their ancestry back to the original 17th- and 18th-century colonial ruling class consisting of Massachusetts governors and magistrates, Harvard presidents, distinguished clergy and fellows of the Royal Society of London (a leading scientific body), while others entered New England aristocratic society during the 19th century with their profits from commerce and trade, often marrying into established Brahmin families."

    Cordially,
    S&S

    PS--I added the underlining in the quote as it seemed to fit the situation you outline and partially explains your fathers extreme reactions to your behavior.

    PSS--BTW--after the destruction of the South, these folks became even more powerful in American politics. They are still a force to be reckoned with.
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2019
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  18. Li-la

    Li-la Senior Member

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    Please don't take this the wrong way, but my own experience with a man being "a man" in the old days included not putting words to all his emotions. I experienced a past life with a husband, 1950 era, who be all angry and strict when I understood that he was afraid. He was never "the type" to say "I'm afraid". If I was to ask "Are you afraid" or "You don't need to fear that..." he would never admit he was. I don't think I could even articulate myself like that to him. To a woman, yes. I think then he would feel shame and shame is very strong emotion and he would want to avoid that. I think that was the limit. That was his wall. Fear to him was sign of weakness.

    From my own experience women were more allowed to show themselves more naked, to identify their true emotion but maybe some of it had to do with me seeing the husband in the military and in that world breaking down with emotions was no way to beat the enemy. I only speak of my own experience so I hope no one minds.

    One of my most traumatic memories was hearing - I heard in my mind - him screaming my name over and over again "Anna!" and sounded so enraged, so animal like, when I have realized that he was screaming like that because I had died. I've spent almost my entire life thinking this husband, Vito, was very angry with me, and angry at me for my death. I know better now, especially when I am an adult (I've had these memories with me from the get go).

    I don't make excuses for the father's behavior but I can so understand it. I'll imagine he was raised the same way and much more rigid considering that this happened more than a hundred years ago. I believe that the bad one do to someone else, especially if it someone you love, will only hurt one self and he must be very sorry for choosing to treat you this way and perhaps without you two ever knowing about it he paid for that in your future life or lives too.

    He did not know better. When one knows better one do better. His reason could be that how he punished you was nothing compared to what you and your family would have endured if you would have bloomed out as a suffragette.

    Him using others when punishing you is a well known tactic, everyone gets punished in the group (your family and staff family) if you have done something and the threat of placing you outside the group. No wonder you don't like people looking at you at the same time.

    (By the way, Sadie's husband look a lot like the actor James Dean to me ; )
    Best Wishes
    Li La
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2019
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  19. KenJ

    KenJ Assistant Archivist and Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I can tell you for a fact that you are correct since I first married in the 50's, tears were a feared give-away. The poets and dreamers among my male acquaintances were seen more as losers than fellow "men". However, without that bravado it would have been harder to do some of the things that we did in our lives - often getting us into trouble. It was a great time to have a lifetime.
     
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  20. baro-san

    baro-san Senior Member

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    Just a note: lately I feel that being male, Caucasian, straight, makes you "guilty until proven innocent" in more and more people's minds. That's not right.
     
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