It is almost 3 months since I lost my infant daughter. She lived 47 hard days fighting every single day to be with me. The doctors kept telling us they don't know what kept her holding on for so long as infants with her condition don't make it through a few days. Finally when her body became too weak, she gave up. I have not seen death so closely except for my grandparents who lived till old age and their deaths were acceptable. The time I held her lifeless body was a big revelation for me. I realized that I am in love with that soul and not the body. But my actual quest started when- me, my husband and my mother were meditating in a Buddhist monastery. A japanese prayer was being recited and its an alien language for us. Much to our surprise my mother started saying that prayer word by word. We were taken aback and my mother later told us that somehow she knew that prayer, it was in her mind may be from her past life. I started looking up on the matters of Life and death as I realized that there is something beyond this physical body and my daughter still exists. We have had many experiences where my daughter has tried to establish a contact with me and my family. The last time I held her I kept saying things like - " Come back again fit and healthy", "Don't go to any other mother", "I will wait for you, come soon". When i reflect back it makes me hard to believe that i was actually saying all this, as according to my way of thinking death is the end. Shortly after her passing I had dreams about her growing up in my house. My sister has had a couple of dreams - In the first one, a voice kept telling her that my daughter will be sent back again at the right time and even a name for her was suggested . In the second dream she saw me deliver a girl, and i kept crying and telling that my daughter has come back. My mother had a visitation by my daughter the other day, she saw her face on top of hers and she was smiling and my mother kept requesting her to come back again. I get random thoughts usually after i get up from sleep. Thoughts like - "Get me from the same hospital you lost me " (I was scared of that hospital that i would turn my head away when i used to pass that place), "The love that you share with your child, no other does" ( I got this thought on the night i slept weeping after seeing my colleagues deliver healthy kids and i thought how unfortunate I am as a mother). I wrote a poem with some thoughts entering in my mind and a line of it said " Mamma let me go for now, but I will come back to you somehow". I came across a lady who has authored a few books and autowrites with her spirit son. Her spirit son found my daughter and sends me messages about her. All the messages say that she is dreaming of home with me and will find her way back to me when the time is right. The messages say she feels an urge to be more and more with me. I had no idea about a communication like this but all this just kept happening on its own, as if my daughter wants me to move ahead and get her back again. And then I stumbled on this forum and Carol's book. I haven't yet read the book but ordered it already. Besides this, messages like this come through different people as well. My doctor told me the other day "That soul was trapped in a weak body. She is still there, you just have to make a body for her. He also mentioned that though he is a doctor, he doesn't know what makes him say all that. We are considering another pregnancy as soon as I am physically and emotionally little better. I somehow feel my daughter will return again in a fit body. I would like to know what you people feel about our experiences and how would you interpret them?