1888? a dream of a certain building

I have not posted of any pl dreams in awhile on here. Life got busy But actually, this one odd dream I had after I did a regression probably a year ago, and I never took the time to share.

I fell asleep sitting upright in my bed in my work clothes, I just dozed off for a cat nap I guess, and I was sitting at nighttime in the rain, completely drunk, disgustingly dirty, with a long beard, and old ratty dirty clothes in a beautiful garden entrance to a home. I was that man, I was between 50-60 and I remember feeling overwhelmed with bitterness and cynicism. I was angry, highly resentful, and just negative as anything! (in this life I suffer from anger and frustration issues and also can be a little witty sarcastic and cynical,). This old man was a much worse version of the anger I feel today, but I was able to directly connect and identify with that feeling as one that was MY OWN but heightened, which was how I know it was me. I had nothing to lose, and was standing staring at this beautiful large brick estate and well kept hedge and thinking, "F*** these people. So these are the people who did this to me, I might as well go in there and kill them." But I was not even close to capable of that. However, I looked in my left hand and I had a gun with a very distinctive barrel. Also I knew* it was 1888. Although I felt so bitter, I knew I wasn't going to kill them and I had brought the gun just to mope and feel sorry for myself.

I would like to know if anyone knows of this place or where these type of buildings are from b/c I believe this IS a past-life memory for 2 reasons. The anger thing was so specifically what I have struggled with now but magnified, also (I hate to seem this ignorant) but I wasn't really aware of when guns were made and upon waking up I thought, what a weird dream they didn't even have guns in 1888! lol. However, when I googled gun 1888 I saw the same style gun in my dream. So perhaps this was a pl memory. At the age of 3, my parents took me to a children's psychologist because they noticed I had an unusual amount of anger and frustration with everything around me, life in general and they didn't know how to handle me.

Now for some help if you guys can : the garden was more of a very well kept hedge entrance, circular hedge very very high and regal, with a fountain in the middle and some cement benches lining the inside. It had an entrance and an exit that cut the circle in half, and standing in the circle peering up towards the back exit part, you see the large brick mansion .It had pointy ceilings, and what seemed like many panes in the windows, some built like the kinds in the churches, but not with different colors. I knew it to be a family that lived there?? and they just did something that realllly made me hate them. (sorry if this description sucks and this message is long, i would just like to know if there was anything specific this house reminds anyone of? I haven't seen anything close to it, just a painting in museum d'orsay in paris france that had a house kind of like it in the background, stopped me dead in my tracks.I took a photo, I am going to try to post it now)

Oh noo! I can't find it. ugh, well any suggestions would be much appreciated!

Which country did it seem to be to you? If the U.S., in 1888 it could be a lot of places east of the Mississippi or along that same river. I don't think many places in the west were too built up by then. I used to rent an apartment in a house in Minnesota that was built in 1868. Back in its day it would have been a good sized house. There are a lot of really big old houses in the same area.


There have been guns of one type or another around for centuries, so those aren't new, but different style where made in different time periods so that's cool you found the one you saw in your dream.


Are there any particular jobs or hobbies that you are drawn to that would have been common in that time period? Any movies on certain topics that get an emotional reaction, positive or negative. That might be a clue to what your lifestyle was before these people ruined it for you. You must have lost something big if you were that angry. The likely ones I can think of was either spouse(affair with homeowner, hers, not yours, I'd think) or money (job) or both, but there's for sure other things less common that could too.

Hi thanks for your reply.I was sure that it was either in England or Europe. I also have always had inclinations towards european things, as in my interests, preferences, and just general lifestyle habits although I was born in America. I am very unfamiliar with that time period completely. As for preferences: I collect teacups, I have always preferred hand written letters to email or phone messages which I am teased about, I paint and am very drawn to the styles of that time period, and very young I watched on repeat Little Women and Meet me in St. Louis for some reason? Just the clothes, and something about it, I can't really describe what it is. I'm drawn to "victorian" style furniture and homes as well as french decor. (these are random things about me). And when I see french, I feel like I can read it. ( I know that sounds crazy) but words seem to make sense to me, I can navigate through it for never having learned a single word and it stays in my memory. I have no interest in french as some people do so this was a surprise to me. So maybe something with France. . Although this building was all brick and somewhat "midevil tudor style.." from what I have seen in google images, this is always the closest.In the dream, in my frustration, when I was staring at the house, they were home, and it felt a bit like they were very powerful people. **Another instant thought was, "So THIS is where they live." I had NOTHING. I felt like a worthless old man who's attitude contributed to his misery in life. And I just drank out of anger. And I had lost everything That was a prominent feeling. It could possibly have been a government issue, (I have found this follow me throughout lives, including this one now, and I was born on a war holiday. Government and war seem to be a common theme with me. Even in this life I did a job for the government I took begrudgingly & DESPISED it. It caused me much frustration , resentment and anger in this life I had to learn to work through. So perhaps something with family and government? Money and family who were powerful? I guess that intense bitterness resounded with me deep in my heart. Ever since that dream I have wanted to see that building awake in a photo..the dream was a "glimpse" so maybe to feel out more those emotions. I just haven't come across one like it yet..I found a photo on the web but not exactly, my building had the circular hedge in the entrance that was much closer to the house, and it was avery old building without fancy white window dressings..Also this is almost exactly like my gun. Old, silver, heavy, long nose, and that bulging revolver that in this life I always thought belonged in the wild wild west movies. lol :tongue:I must say that in this life, and my dad pointed this out to me when we once talked about this and anger, I am very big on justice and not discriminating based on money, status, or factors that are beyond our control like looks. I can't stand it. I feel that people are valued by their souls.





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Ok, that house is a little bigger than I was picturing, lol. Which should make it easier to find. I know I haven't seen it though. All my 19th century knowledge is about the western U.S. so someone else needs to jump in here if they know about that period in Europe.


Don't ever give up on finding the place if it starts to look futile. Sometimes buildings get face lifts or burn down totally or partially, so even if it's not exactly how it was today there may still be pictures.


Do you feel that you were wealthy at all in that life at one point? If you were a person who had some power and money in those days it will be easier to find records also.


When you wrote, "so this is where they live", that sounds like you came from a ways away to find them, if you were local I'd think a place like that everyone would know who lived there.


I had to edit in some of this. I have the house to myself for a few minutes, which means I have the computer to myself

Hi Teacup!


The example image of the house is quite typical of an English or Scottish country estate. And, the pistol is a very American style, which would not have been common in any of the British Empire of the time. What would have been most common is probably an Enfield Mk II Revolver, or a Webley MK VI revolver, both of which were military issued sidearms. They were somewhat shorter than a typical American pistol of that time, and would have been loaded by "breaking" the pistol at the breach using a pivot hinge just forward of the cylinder. A typical feature of British sidearms of the period was a ring pin at the base of the handle, which was used to attach a lanyard to keep the weapon from being separated from the holster.


The circumstance that you described reminds me of cases in which the father of a violated daughter may have been seeking redress from the estate owner for whom his daughter had been in service. This may sound like a Victorian melodrama, but was actually a fairly likely occurrence.


When you speak of uncontrollable anger being something of a theme in your life, I can identify with with you; and I can only imagine the anger and bitterness I would feel in a similar situation. Certainly, there could have been an entirely different set of circumstances, such as having one's entire family thrown out of their home over a debt. However, the first impression I had involved the first scenario.


Of course, this is a reach on my part; but it sounded like you wanted to hear from anyone who might relate in any way. Please do keep us informed, if you have any additional impressions.


-Nightrian

Thank you for the replies!

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When you wrote, "so this is where they live", that sounds like you came from a ways away to find them, if you were local I'd think a place like that everyone would know who lived there.>>

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I could have been wealthy, but really I didn't feel anything indicating this specifically to me in this dream.I do know at some point in the past I did have a lot of money because of one thing that happened to me 8 months ago. I was about to receive a sizable check from my job and I was thinking about how my life would possibly change and how I would help my parents as I drove to work that morning, and then instantly without hesitation or any real thought process of my own doing I said to myself, "well I had it before and it didn't really mean much." And I almost drove off the road! lol I was on the highway and I thought, where did that come from?? It was a memory of experience like, "Happiness comes without money, Money comes and goes, so its role is not that important overall in life so why not help those who need it? I think I learned some important things about "desire for money" in the past because in this life I never felt that burning need to be "rich" or find value in myself through this.Yet financially I felt fatefully rewarded in this life through work endeavors with the same effort that I saw others apply without the same luck. In this life, I have spent a lot of time pondering the universe's "ways" with these things.. must be from the past that this is heavy on my mind (life slapped me hard in this area in the past I guess so now its giving me a break lol ) Also very insightful that maybe I traveled a long distance to get there!! never thought about that!! I do know that I walked there, and I was so tired that I had to just sit and be drunk in their courtyard. lol. and then it started raining and I was like, " this just figures."


Nighttrain, thank you so much for the info on the guns. I have very limited knowledge of gun types, I am going to look this up right now. I couldn't find an exact mach online, and this is what i needed to search. I don't know much else about what this was about, other than that anger is a monster! I often admire those who have this serene quality about them even in the midst of chaos and stress..I do not know anything about the victorian time, would the daughter be in service as a maid? I know that I felt very alone, and so I feel that I had no one to go home to or love me. No family. I may do some meditation to elaborate on this more. May help with my anger now.

teacup said:

Thank you for the replies!
I do not know anything about the victorian time, would the daughter be in service as a maid? I know that I felt very alone, and so I feel that I had no one to go home to or love me. No family. I may do some meditation to elaborate on this more. May help with my anger now.

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Hi Teacup!


Yes, my impression from your description seemed relative to a lonely widower, who's only daughter had to be sent away, or, perhaps died as a result of something that happened in the manorhouse, where she was employed as a maid. Be aware, however, that you may not wish to put stock in my impressions, which may stem from an entirely different place than yours.


-Nightrain

Enfield Mk II Revolver, This looks more similar to what I hadin my hand. I don't remember my gun having that little "tab" on the nose of it. And yes, the nose was not super long, but long to me is all of the photos I saw for all these guns I can't remember if it had the ring on the bottom because I was so drunk in that dream, when i looked in my left hand i remember not having even decent control of that arm and it swinging up and across me in the air, like the elbow didn't bend and my vision was blurry. I got a decent look at it though to know that it was very similar to this model. I will not be able to ever identify it exactly unless I go to a regression and do a more detailed analysis of this dream. it was so much anger and emotion and the details were distorted because I also felt very very drunk which was so weird.

Teacup, it's 8 years ago this went up. The photo of the 'manor house' is a bit reminiscent of Hampton Court Palace. It isn't that building but there is some similarity in style. Of course, royal families had many familial links across the European continent and not least in France. So it wouldn't be surprising if similar were in France or at least in a French speaking area of a directly neighbouring country that had once been part of a French province and had kept its historical identity even if not its legal identity whenever new boarders were set.
Neither would it be surprising if you had crossed the English chanel either way, if your anger was such that you wanted to kill 'them' - even if you ultimately realised it wasn't in you to do so. 'They' might have been nobles, minor royals. The terraced cottages to the left look like some 'Grace and Favour' residences (you can look up the term as it would be more to write here). There is no doubt that royals world over never attained their great power and wealth by being good people. I don't understand why so many fawn over them. They were extremely cruel to those whose land they and their ancestors invaded and ruled over. Mind, by 1888 the invading was hundreds of years ago. Nonetheless, they still ruled cruelly and without conscience where the conquered were concerned. Even so called 'constitutional monarchs' had and still have a lot more covert power than the public are led to believe.

By the appearance of that building I would think it may well be part of a smaller palace or mansion which could be built in a square or oblong block enclosing a large courtyard. A manor house is much smaller and less grand.

I wouldn't worry about the hedge which almost certainly died between then and now, and may not have been replaced. The area covered by the hedge could now be paved, lawned or put to flower beds, even parking.
The building may no longer exist. Being expensive to upkeep, many were demolished throughout Europe. Others did get burned down, or were left to go to ruin. Others were given to the National Trust (if in Britain) or any similar charity in France 'for the public to view'.

I don't know if you did or if it's good for you to re-visit that particular life. If you do, you may have more success by trying to establish your name and area, family - particularly your parents surname as it was likely the same as yours if they raised you, and your friends names, type of work, colleagues, affiliations perhaps to a political party or a workers union, if you were allowed to vote at elections (was then land owners only), if you had gone to school (many didn't), national events, and the name of that seemingly horrible family and what was done by them or in their name to cause you such distress.

Maybe try and remember whoever greatly wronged you and yours will possibly be quite different in their natures now, whether or not they also came back (which they likely wouldn't remember).

A word; forgiveness? Not for their benefit but for yours. It may take time to forgive. It may be 2 steps forward 1 step back, but maybe forgiveness and letting go come into it. You will know.

Best wishes.

I felt like it had to do something with land. Perhaps you worked their land and felt you had not been paid fairly. It made you angry to see how much wealth they acquired on the backs of the working class.

Maybe it was something to do with inheritance and you felt you had been unfairly been kept out of the inheritance. Or maybe a family member became rich while you were the prodigal son.