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Scared of death

Blazealiste

Senior Member
To all the fellow sufferers of anxiety,
Ever since I was a young child I have suffered from an extreme phobia of death. If I so much as think about it, I will have hot flushes and feel faint. My mind cannot fathom the thought of being here on earth, creating all of these loving relationships, and then having it all erased.
I'm not a very religious person, so I don't have the comfort of saying to people 'see you on the other side' When for me, I still can't consider my dreams as a solid proof of reincarnation but I'm choosing to believe it because I would very much like that it truly exist.
I believe this fear is a large reason for my anxious and depressive personality.
Does anybody have any feedback on their thoughts, feelings, and fears of death? I think I just need to talk about it.
Hugs to all
 
Hello,
I was, am, in a very similar boat. I understand the lonely feeling. I believe in a Living Spirit, and you don't have to be religious to believe that. I wonder if our interest in reincarnation is being guided by the One Spirit to help us understand death. And the thing we fear, I wonder if we are meant to learn more about or overcome. Your dreams are just as real as your waking life, even if it is reflective of an internal World. It's a great start, choosing to believe. Faith building, learning to recognize the signs of the Living Spirit. What do I mean? I have dreams dated back to 2008 that are very profound, and 10 years later I'd receive further illumination. All the meanwhile, I'm being acquainted with my self- my Inner reality. And through out the years I believe the hard to explain experiences were meant to provide insight and assist my fear of death. It became, an intelligent force is guiding me. And from there, expansive leaps and bounds of conviction were realized. Suddenly the inner world was communicating with the external one, and even the external world was being manipulated to acknowledge my inner one. If you haven't had it yet, I am confident to say you will experience things that reach out to you in ways that exceed logical explanation. For me it is recognizing One behind many. I believe in this philosophy. And choosing to believe is a great step and rewarding experience- whatever that belief is, even if subject to change. We are all going to die in the end- it is your self who faces this approaching reality. And how you live your life now is your choice- I was recently faced with this thought... Should I face a type of dissemination and annihilation, I will live my life the way I choose regardless. My prayers are with you. May you be Blessed with Peace... and Knowing.
 
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Hi Blaze,

I think religion is the way, and I would be more specific if board rules allowed. (I also like what Cloud said above). However, aside from the foregoing, NDAs where people experience the fact that they are still alive after dying generally eliminate all fear of death, and the same seems to be true for those who cultivate "astral" travel (OOBE) techniques in order to experience life outside of the body. We have an entire section on that type of thing and there are many books in that area. So, it might represent another possibility for you.

Cordially,
S&S
 
Well, I guess I can't help. For me death was never the problem. It's the easy bit, it comes along in its own good time, when it will.

No, the really sticky questions for me are all about what to do in the meantime. How to Live. What to do. And Why. I had so many questions about how to live that I found myself almost rooted to the spot, not knowing which way to turn. Death would have been a sweet release from all these concerns. But I couldn't just choose death. That would have involved first finding out why as well. So many questions.

In the end, I found peace through meditation, not seeking anything in particular, other than some respite from endless questions tumbling around my head. But meditation can give a connection to something more, whether part of myself or something external I can't say. But at any rate it did gradually answer my questions, not always answers I could put into words, but somehow things which had troubled me no longer did so.
 
I should add though, especially as this is a reincarnation forum, that at some point my reading led me to find out about reincarnation. I didn't know whether it was true or just some fanciful idea. But eventually I found my own way through that maze and realised that yes, reincarnation is true. And that means in effect that we are indestructible. In the face of that revelation, death seemed even less relevant. In fact it didn't even serve as the "sweet release" that I had imagined. In the end, we can only live, there isn't anything else to do. And even death doesn't change that. We still live.

Well, that's my take on things. I guess it won't add anything much towards the original question in this thread. Sorry about that.
 
Hi Speed,

Just to be a pain, I'm going to observe that "indestructible" should probably be preceded by "as far as we can tell." ;) But "forever" is too long for me to commit to (though I actually believe that this is true). :rolleyes:

Cordially,
S&S
 
Hi Speed,

Just to be a pain, I'm going to observe that "indestructible" should probably be preceded by "as far as we can tell." ;) But "forever" is too long for me to commit to (though I actually believe that this is true). :rolleyes:

Cordially,
S&S

From what I've found research wise is that the soul pretty much is indestructible that even if it were to be deleted it would only be gone for sometime only to return either as it was before or in a new form. I do wish that it was easier to get that across but as ever with the modern mind it is nearly impossible so much so that it is easier to walk on water like Jesus than it is to change such minds.
 
Hi Speed,

Just to be a pain, I'm going to observe that "indestructible" should probably be preceded by "as far as we can tell." ;) But "forever" is too long for me to commit to (though I actually believe that this is true). :rolleyes:

Cordially,
S&S
Oh, you're welcome to interject. I'm actually aware of a number of different ideas in this area, which certainly mean I stated things too simply and too firmly. There's room for other views. I think the idea I was expressing was my initial impression, when I first started to take reincarnation seriously. A preliminary take shall I say.
 
I really wish I could bring you some comfort in some way, being afraid of death must be awful. I can only tell you how I personally feel about it, although my views are largely similar to what has already been said. The way I see it, I think being here on Earth is actually our least "alive" state, if that makes any sense. As human beings we are so limited (some less so than others, of course), we instantly lose almost all of our knowledge, we lose our connection to the spirit world/different dimensions/our greater consciousness, not to mention that our physical bodies weigh us down, quite literally. Sometimes people say that death is like a strange dream, but I personally feel it's the opposite; when I die, I truly believe it will feel like this life was a crazy dream! And as soon as I have fully recovered from this wild ride, I will fall asleep again and start a new crazy dream. :)

I imagine it must be paralyzing to live with such a fear, but it's a very understandable one. After all, from our viewpoint here and now, it's the great unknown that lies ahead. I feel privileged that I am not afraid of death at all. In fact, no matter how insane this is going to sound: I think it can even be one of the most beautiful experiences in one's life (not counting traumatic or premature deaths of course). That being said, I am not planning to go anywhere anytime soon! I'm too much in love with (this) life to leave it behind already, even though things get tough now and then. But when it's truly my time, I will welcome it. I personally am religious, very much so, and it brings me great comfort. But spirituality comes in many shapes and forms.

I don't know if my words can make (even a little) difference or not, but in any case I wish you lots of peace and light, and I truly hope your fears will let go of you. It's gonna be alright. :)
 
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In fact, no matter how insane this is going to sound: I think it can even be one of the most beautiful experiences in one's life (not counting traumatic or premature deaths of course). That being said, I am not planning to go anywhere anytime soon! I'm too much in love with (this) life to leave it behind already, even though things get tough now and then. But when it's truly my time, I will welcome it.

I was thinking, I often hear people, sometimes joking, sometimes not, say something like "I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens". That sort of throwaway line seems to mislead, in my opinion. Dr Peter Fenwick (who is by now of advancing years himself) has studied consciousness and the brain and more recently has turned his attention to how to prepare for a 'good death'. He often advises people to - if they can - avoid being drugged into a stupor at the time. Our medical and care system often has terminally ill patients on painkillers, which makes sense depending on circumstances, but a side effect is a drowsiness or sleep, rather than alert wakefulness.

Peter Fenwick says - based upon real-life reports and data, that it is an experience not to be missed, something where every moment is to be fully experienced. This is not about pain, no matter how severe, that passes. But during the time leading up to, during and after death people tend to have profound and sometimes wonderful experiences. Such things as being met by long-lost deceased partners or parents, grandparents, a great and joyful reunion. These things are reported, 'visitation experiences' prior to passing. As for death itself, there is plentiful real-world evidence from those who have temporarily died and then been resuscitated - the re-starting of the heart and restoration of breathing and bodily functions, they tell joyful tales. Some want nothing more than to go back, and are angry with the doctors for having brought them back to this life.


Dr Raymond Moody was one of the first to bring the topic of Near-Death experiences to the forefront with 'Life after Life'. He has also turned our attention to Shared-Death experiences, where the living present at the time sometimes get to share in the astonishing things which are happening to a dying person, when they are present with them.

Some resources,
Books:
The Art of Dying by Peter Fenwick, Elizabeth Fenwick

Glimpses of Eternity: An investigation into shared death experiences by Dr Raymond Moody

Videos:
Peter Fenwick on "Experiences surrounding near-death and dying"

Raymond Moody, MD, PhD: Shared Death Experiences

There are many more videos by each of these, particularly Raymond Moody where I just picked one at random. The Peter Fenwick talk I've seen before and can recommend.
 
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Blazealiste, it's good to hear from you. I think we all have our reservations about death, it's instinctual. I've been around death in almost every form and have held the hands of a few victims passing over, and in many cases, they seemed so tranquil as mentioned in an earlier post. I think your best bet is to keep an open mind and a seeker's heart. There are so many resources to explore as Speedwell offered above. Just last week I was talking with our forum's owner, Carol Bowman, and she recommended a six-episode documentary series called Surviving Death on Netflix. I watched it over the weekend and would recommend it also. I'm not too "into" mediumship (there is an episode or two on it), but the rest of it, particularly the first one on Near-Death Experiences and the last one on children's past lives were really good. Certainly food for thought that would ease your mind.
With blessings, ~Tman
 
I really wish I could bring you some comfort in some way, being afraid of death must be awful. I can only tell you how I personally feel about it, although my views are largely similar to what has already been said. The way I see it, I think being here on Earth is actually our least "alive" state, if that makes any sense. As human beings we are so limited (some less so than others, of course), we instantly lose almost all of our knowledge, we lose our connection to the spirit world/different dimensions/our greater consciousness, not to mention that our physical bodies weigh us down, quite literally. Sometimes people say that death is like a strange dream, but I personally feel it's the opposite; when I die, I truly believe it will feel like this life was a crazy dream! And as soon as I have fully recovered from this wild ride, I will fall asleep again and start a new crazy dream. :)

I imagine it must be paralyzing to live with such a fear, but it's a very understandable one. After all, from our viewpoint here and now, it's the great unknown that lies ahead. I feel privileged that I am not afraid of death at all. In fact, no matter how insane this is going to sound: I think it can even be one of the most beautiful experiences in one's life (not counting traumatic or premature deaths of course). That being said, I am not planning to go anywhere anytime soon! I'm too much in love with (this) life to leave it behind already, even though things get tough now and then. But when it's truly my time, I will welcome it. I personally am religious, very much so, and it brings me great comfort. But spirituality comes in many shapes and forms.

I don't know if my words can make (even a little) difference or not, but in any case I wish you lots of peace and light, and I truly hope your fears will let go of you. It's gonna be alright. :)


Survivor,

You my dear are truly an old soul. Because what you just stated rings with inner truth which comes from the heart. Having had a NDE myself many years ago I understand so I'm not afraid of death anymore. In my opinion we have all died many times and more than likely will again. However death is nothing more than a transition from one state of consciousness to another. In a way we had to died from our higher self which comes from the higher dimensions in order to be born here were life is limited and can be harsh and cruel at times. However it is also a honor to be here because it is here in this life where we unfold and grow the most.

I think the most important thing we can do when it is time to leave this world is to be a peace with ourselves and the life lessons we have learned while here. Because the only thing we can take with us is our experiences from within. Everything here is left behind. So rather than be afraid of death we should learn to embrace life and all that is has to offer while we are here as our stay here is very temporary anyway.

Because if one is afraid to die then one is afraid to truly live.

Love and peace.

Polaris
 
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Polaris: Thank you for your kind words, and I fully agree with everything you said. :)

I was thinking, I often hear people, sometimes joking, sometimes not, say something like "I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens". That sort of throwaway line seems to mislead, in my opinion. Dr Peter Fenwick (who is by now of advancing years himself) has studied consciousness and the brain and more recently has turned his attention to how to prepare for a 'good death'. He often advises people to - if they can - avoid being drugged into a stupor at the time. Our medical and care system often has terminally ill patients on painkillers, which makes sense depending on circumstances, but a side effect is a drowsiness or sleep, rather than alert wakefulness.

Peter Fenwick says - based upon real-life reports and data, that it is an experience not to be missed, something where every moment is to be fully experienced. This is not about pain, no matter how severe, that passes. But during the time leading up to, during and after death people tend to have profound and sometimes wonderful experiences. Such things as being met by long-lost deceased partners or parents, grandparents, a great and joyful reunion. These things are reported, 'visitation experiences' prior to passing. As for death itself, there is plentiful real-world evidence from those who have temporarily died and then been resuscitated - the re-starting of the heart and restoration of breathing and bodily functions, they tell joyful tales. Some want nothing more than to go back, and are angry with the doctors for having brought them back to this life.


Dr Raymond Moody was one of the first to bring the topic of Near-Death experiences to the forefront with 'Life after Life'. He has also turned our attention to Shared-Death experiences, where the living present at the time sometimes get to share in the astonishing things which are happening to a dying person, when they are present with them.

Some resources,
Books:
The Art of Dying by Peter Fenwick, Elizabeth Fenwick

Glimpses of Eternity: An investigation into shared death experiences by Dr Raymond Moody

Videos:
Peter Fenwick on "Experiences surrounding near-death and dying"

Raymond Moody, MD, PhD: Shared Death Experiences

There are many more videos by each of these, particularly Raymond Moody where I just picked one at random. The Peter Fenwick talk I've seen before and can recommend.

This is very interesting, and I definitely share this sentiment. I think it would be a shame not to fully experience your death, I am convinced that you need this experience in order to move on.
 
Polaris: Thank you for your kind words, and I fully agree with everything you said. :)



This is very interesting, and I definitely share this sentiment. I think it would be a shame not to fully experience your death, I am convinced that you need this experience in order to move on.


For the Survivors, yes I do agree with you. In fact I experience this when I had my NDE many years ago. It's called the samadhi experience. When we die our consciousness becomes expanded as we withdraw from the physical body and go inward into the next dimension of reality. As this happens you hear a loud ringing or buzzing sound. This is caused by your astral-mental bodies detaching from your physical-etheric body.

You travel very fast through a long dark tunnel. What this is; is consciousness (the soul if you will) traveling up the central Sushma channel of your etheric spine (not your physical spine) and out of the crown chakra.

This is what many people experience when seeing the light at the end of the tunnel of a NDE. Our crown chakra is the portal into the next dimension. This point of exit allows the consciousness thread to remain connected, which enables "live" perception of the event and subsequent recollection by the waking consciousness after return.

While all this is happening our consciousness becomes expanded as we perceive things now from a higher state of awareness. We are stripped away from our false self the lower ego and now become aware that all life is connected to universal truth and divine love.

The only difference between an NDE and death is the silver cord. If the silver cord remains intact then the soul can return to the heavy dense physical body and remember the experience it just had. (As what happen to me.) However if the silver cord is snapped then death to the physical body occurs and the soul cannot return but will instead remain in their astral/mental body somewhere within the higher dimensions.

This is my opinion but not everyone is aware of this transition at the moment of death. Which is why some are not aware they are dead. Any why some become earth bound for awhile in the lower astral. But eventually they will make the transition into the middle or upper astral plane where they need to be.

Death is a very individual experience for everyone. The process is the same for everyone in its mechanics, but how we experience it depends upon the persons inner state of consciousness and spiritual evolution at the moment of death.

Love and peace

P.
 
To all the fellow sufferers of anxiety,
Ever since I was a young child I have suffered from an extreme phobia of death. If I so much as think about it, I will have hot flushes and feel faint. My mind cannot fathom the thought of being here on earth, creating all of these loving relationships, and then having it all erased.
I'm not a very religious person, so I don't have the comfort of saying to people 'see you on the other side' When for me, I still can't consider my dreams as a solid proof of reincarnation but I'm choosing to believe it because I would very much like that it truly exist.
I believe this fear is a large reason for my anxious and depressive personality.
Does anybody have any feedback on their thoughts, feelings, and fears of death? I think I just need to talk about it.
Hugs to all

I was not very afraid of death when younger, but it still scared me a bit for the above reasons as well.

Reading Paramahamsa Yogananda's 'Autobiography of a Yogi ', to a large extent, cured me of this fear. There is a chapter in it of his Guru Sri Yukteshwar's physical resurrection after death, and where Yukteshwar eloquently depicts the afterlife and the astral worlds in great detail, along with reconnecting with loved ones who had passed away earlier.

This and reading books on reincarnation like the Bhagavad Gita and the books of Dr. Brian Weiss substantially reduced the fear of death and loss within me, and brought me a greater sense of comfort and relaxed ease.

Hope this can be useful somehow.
 
To all the fellow sufferers of anxiety,
Ever since I was a young child I have suffered from an extreme phobia of death. If I so much as think about it, I will have hot flushes and feel faint. My mind cannot fathom the thought of being here on earth, creating all of these loving relationships, and then having it all erased.
I'm not a very religious person, so I don't have the comfort of saying to people 'see you on the other side' When for me, I still can't consider my dreams as a solid proof of reincarnation but I'm choosing to believe it because I would very much like that it truly exist.
I believe this fear is a large reason for my anxious and depressive personality.
Does anybody have any feedback on their thoughts, feelings, and fears of death? I think I just need to talk about it.
Hugs to all
from a biochemical point of view , there is not much different between an live body and a dead body at some hours to distance before and after the heart stop of beating.
by other way, body cells take some hours for die alls. the fact is, at least for me, that on dead corpse, if the different is not much into biochemical structure, but into the fact that a living body continue exchange molecular substances and have cells activities that miss into a dead. so life is movement, transformation, death is static, stagnation, paralysis.
that's by a strickly physical point of view.
about me, i had ever a dark fantasy. i was really obsessed by nightmare with death into my teen age, expecially on 12 age, when i did a dream very very very scarry.
it not related to my death or death of my family.
when i dream the death.. i dream really ..,the Death. skeleton with black shoroud cape hooded and scythe, understood?
well, so i can understand your fear. i can tell you that i risk my live a tons of time for heal problems so i know something about that, also if i never had true coma or heartbreak, for my luck.
but i drowned on my childhood and i had an anaphilactic reaction to an antibiotical. ... well, what can i tell: is scarrying? yes, of course is it.
is like a horrible force that force to lost coscounsness and fall into "mud" into a certain sense the feelingis that. you have sleep and is not a normal sleep but is a sleep that you Can't move away, is not possible to stay awake.
is like a wall of darkness and total black.
by other way, is also part of life.
can't exist life without death you know?
we need to eat animals and plants for live (so kill other creatures, expecially animals, plants can survive cause we need just some parts of that and not all the plants).
well, also, dead feel into new life with decompoistion process.
i not guess that forest and tree and ground can be good for grow new plants and substain life without the cycle between life and death.
also, without death and with immortality, well, we are 7 billions of peoples now and planet resourches are not sufficient for satisty all necessities of that...
do you image a world with immortal folks? should really come into the biological collapse...
i know, mine maybe are justphilosophical consideration, but the fact is that we are on earth only with a temporany passage.
so, past life or not, cause there will be not however another life when you are what you are into that life, instead of think to death... not get that this become an obsession, instead try to live into the better and happies way everyone of your days, enjoy every single minute and moment that you are into that world and be thanks for that, also if you are not a religious person so maybe you not know what you should thanks for that...
but the point is that now you are alive. understand? ^_^
 
Thank you all for the suggestions everyone, I can't say that I'm awakened now, but everything is a learning process. I hope someday, as I get old, I can tell that to myself how I was afraid of death and just laugh it off, embrace it as my last years are slowly passing by.
 
To all the fellow sufferers of anxiety,
Ever since I was a young child I have suffered from an extreme phobia of death. If I so much as think about it, I will have hot flushes and feel faint. My mind cannot fathom the thought of being here on earth, creating all of these loving relationships, and then having it all erased.
I'm not a very religious person, so I don't have the comfort of saying to people 'see you on the other side' When for me, I still can't consider my dreams as a solid proof of reincarnation but I'm choosing to believe it because I would very much like that it truly exist.
I believe this fear is a large reason for my anxious and depressive personality.
Does anybody have any feedback on their thoughts, feelings, and fears of death? I think I just need to talk about it.
Hugs to all

I too have a fear of death, which I've had since childhood. It started with losing my grandma at a young age. I try not to think of it too much but lately my parents have reminded me that I will not live forever and the thought of being nothing scares me. Because of my fear of death I want to believe in reincarnation and that I'll live again but I have no memories of past lives and what I know about my future life seems like I'm just imagining things. My mom says she had a NDE before having me but remembers nothing of it.
 
I try not to think of it too much but lately my parents have reminded me that I will not live forever and the thought of being nothing scares me.
The idea of 'being nothing' is of course just one of the ideas people have about what death will mean. Perhaps the most we can really say is that it is a step into the unknown. From that perspective, it could be potentially a great adventure. I'm not making any claims, but I would certainly not be fixated on just a single possibility, allow a little flexibility for other options too. :)
 
I try to be open minded to other beliefs especially since I strongly believe in the freedom of religion, but it's just the unknown that has always scared me so much. I really want to believe in reincarnation as I said but at the same time there isn't much evidence for it and in my culture they look at you as weird for believing in reincarnation. However, since I first learned of reincarnation in middle school the idea has given me some comfort and has helped me a little with my fear of death. Part of me just wishes to either remember my past life or to foresee my future life so I can know for certain reincarnation exist.
 
One of the good things that we have as human beings is our freedom to believe in everything. I chose to believe in reincarnation because that's the only possibility that gives me comfort and peace whenever my mind reminds me of death, or whenever I see news of someone's demise. It makes me want to look for reasons why someone was not given a long life while others have fulfilled too much in their lifetime.
 
The idea of reincarnation gives me some comfort too but at the same time I'm not entirely sure I believe in it partly because I can't remember any of my past lives.
 
Yes, only a lucky few were able to have a glimpse of their PL. I also wish that someday, I get to have that chance too.
 
To all the fellow sufferers of anxiety,
Ever since I was a young child I have suffered from an extreme phobia of death. If I so much as think about it, I will have hot flushes and feel faint. My mind cannot fathom the thought of being here on earth, creating all of these loving relationships, and then having it all erased.
I'm not a very religious person, so I don't have the comfort of saying to people 'see you on the other side' When for me, I still can't consider my dreams as a solid proof of reincarnation but I'm choosing to believe it because I would very much like that it truly exist.
I believe this fear is a large reason for my anxious and depressive personality.
Does anybody have any feedback on their thoughts, feelings, and fears of death? I think I just need to talk about it.
Hugs to all

Hello. I have similar experiences. Since early childhood, I had a lot of more or less reasonable fears, including suffocation, death, fire, needles, bugs... I am on antidepressant meds right now (although that specific type is used to treat anxiety and anxiety-ridden psychosis too) and half of my fears disappeared, especially the ones I got later in life. Unfortunately, the ones I developed as a small child are still there with me. I am not saying that medication is a way to go for everyone, but perhaps it could ease your pain. My fear of needles made it impossible for me to get simple blood tests. Now I am getting not only that, but even bodymods like piercing and tattoos!
 
One of the good things that we have as human beings is our freedom to believe in everything. I chose to believe in reincarnation because that's the only possibility that gives me comfort and peace whenever my mind reminds me of death, or whenever I see news of someone's demise. It makes me want to look for reasons why someone was not given a long life while others have fulfilled too much in their lifetime.
A thought occurred to me tonight, that some of the best people go early. It's not that it's early, but I've had friends and heroes whose predisposition towards life meant getting to leave onto their next journey. This isn't a right or wrong thought, if any truth it is always partial. But it made me think it's us grumpy folks who are here for the long hard-trodden journey. :) I say it in slight. But it's made me appreciate those childhood friends and heroes who have left us. Sometimes I think they'd be in hell if they saw where we were today.

Reincarnation is not limited to any particular personality or density. That's the beauty of the unknown, with a faith in the ever living Spirit. I'm happy to read you've chosen a direction, or have found some conviction towards life.
 
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