Hi, I'm new here. I'm very interested in reincarnation and have read many books including carol's and Michael Newton's. It's facinating. My question today is is it possible to prepare now for a better future life? I'm currently going thru a miserable period in my life. I'm dealing with some very toxic people and am in some unhealthy relationships....unfortunately they are siblings so I can't exactly end these ties. I often wonder why these toxic family members are in my life. I often wish they weren't. They have hurt me terribly and this pain makes it so hard to enjoy the good people in my life. I feel like the pain is ongoing because they are my family and I'll never be able to put the bad experiences behind me. I've been beaten down so much. I feel like my only hope is that my next life will be better BUT what if they end up in my family again?? I guess they are in my life for a reason. I just wish I can look forward to a day when they are not in my life anymore. I want to be happy and I feel they make it hard. What is the lesson here for me? Is it true that we have a choice in planning our next life? I, like so many people, wish I can do it all over again. I have so many regrets. It seems family members keep reappearing in our lives. I want to be done with these people. I wonder what your thoughts are about choosing our family, the lessons and what can we do in this life to have a better, happier future life? Also can we choose to keep the ones we love in our future life and choose to not have those who hurt us in our next life? Thanks!
Can you prepare for your future life NOW?
- Thread starter mom710
- Start date
Hi mom710 and welcome to the forum.
I would like to share some of my thoughts with you.
I am sure that we, as spirits or Beings of Light, do not necessarily carry the emotional and behavioral baggage into the next life that weighs on us in this life. As beings of Light, I don't believe that the emotional content of this life is natural to us and we leave the negative aspects behind us when we leave this world. We are not mean or selfish spirits as those traits are human traits that die with the flesh. Your family members are beautiful spirits even if they are not beautiful human beings and in your next incarnation they may be your best friends. I know first-hand how you feel so these are not empty words.
My family - whom I love and avoid - are the products of generations of human beings before them and they are having to grow in this life to become the beautiful spirits that they naturally are - they weren't born with the knowledge of past lives to help them understand their place in the universe and they have had to learn the meaning of life the hard way. My parents were born into dysfunctional families and their parents came from even worse circumstances. Each succeeding generation tries to to do better and I am trying to not be just another negative in an already negative atmosphere.
When the human being becomes one with their spiritual nature they are transformed into someone beautiful and extraordinary. Sometime in your life you may meet someone like that - an enlightened individual - who just stands out from those around them. I believe that the evolution of the species is one of the goals of repeatedly being born into into this world. We want everyone to be enlightened individuals. We try to make a better and better world for the next generation. We try to make the world safe and nurturing for the children so that they can further the advancement of the human race.
I personally believe that you don't necessarily have to return to the same family - I don't want to do that but, I feel that I am lacking in knowledge about what the "big picture" is all about and maybe I would want to be with them if I understood that we had a life plan that we were following. I do believe that we are following a plan but that we can get off track and that things can go wrong. We should strive for discernment, the ability to see our place in the scheme of things and to keep ourselves on the path that we were meant to be on.
I don't know how karma works and I have generally despised even the concept of karma most of my life. I don't believe that I will have any issues to settle or work out with anybody in the next life. But... just to be sure that I don't, I try to harbor no ill will toward anyone - not easy. I want to depart this life with love in my heart and come back the next time to accomplish something really worthwhile for the human race and not work out some kind of issues with others. Believe me, I have plenty of work to do on myself: anger management, laziness, etc., etc. But, like you, I am seeing my place in the world in a way which allows me to question what life should be and maybe make some changes no matter how small because I think that is the most important thing we can do given our circumstances. We are fortunate to realize that no matter how hard life seems now, there is a purpose for us to be here. The next incarnation may be wonderful beyond our imagination!
I would like to share some of my thoughts with you.
I am sure that we, as spirits or Beings of Light, do not necessarily carry the emotional and behavioral baggage into the next life that weighs on us in this life. As beings of Light, I don't believe that the emotional content of this life is natural to us and we leave the negative aspects behind us when we leave this world. We are not mean or selfish spirits as those traits are human traits that die with the flesh. Your family members are beautiful spirits even if they are not beautiful human beings and in your next incarnation they may be your best friends. I know first-hand how you feel so these are not empty words.
My family - whom I love and avoid - are the products of generations of human beings before them and they are having to grow in this life to become the beautiful spirits that they naturally are - they weren't born with the knowledge of past lives to help them understand their place in the universe and they have had to learn the meaning of life the hard way. My parents were born into dysfunctional families and their parents came from even worse circumstances. Each succeeding generation tries to to do better and I am trying to not be just another negative in an already negative atmosphere.
When the human being becomes one with their spiritual nature they are transformed into someone beautiful and extraordinary. Sometime in your life you may meet someone like that - an enlightened individual - who just stands out from those around them. I believe that the evolution of the species is one of the goals of repeatedly being born into into this world. We want everyone to be enlightened individuals. We try to make a better and better world for the next generation. We try to make the world safe and nurturing for the children so that they can further the advancement of the human race.
I personally believe that you don't necessarily have to return to the same family - I don't want to do that but, I feel that I am lacking in knowledge about what the "big picture" is all about and maybe I would want to be with them if I understood that we had a life plan that we were following. I do believe that we are following a plan but that we can get off track and that things can go wrong. We should strive for discernment, the ability to see our place in the scheme of things and to keep ourselves on the path that we were meant to be on.
I don't know how karma works and I have generally despised even the concept of karma most of my life. I don't believe that I will have any issues to settle or work out with anybody in the next life. But... just to be sure that I don't, I try to harbor no ill will toward anyone - not easy. I want to depart this life with love in my heart and come back the next time to accomplish something really worthwhile for the human race and not work out some kind of issues with others. Believe me, I have plenty of work to do on myself: anger management, laziness, etc., etc. But, like you, I am seeing my place in the world in a way which allows me to question what life should be and maybe make some changes no matter how small because I think that is the most important thing we can do given our circumstances. We are fortunate to realize that no matter how hard life seems now, there is a purpose for us to be here. The next incarnation may be wonderful beyond our imagination!
Alexnovo
Senior Registered
Hi Mom710 and welcome to the forum.
You raise an interesting question. The subject of planning our next incarnation comes up frequently. I am listing below some threads that you might finding helpful. I will also note that the subject of planning also comes up in threads that are on many topics.
The Inbetween Lifetime's State, what happens?
Karma is not Punishment
Choice, Planning and Guided Sessions
As to your specific situation and question, I am sorry that you are having a hard time with family members. I don't know whether you have had a regression or discovered past life memories through mediation but wonder if you recognize the family members with whom you have difficulties from a prior life.
I personally am uncertain whether we plan our reincarnations while in between lives, but IMHO whether we do or do not, I don’t think we can “plan” our next life in this one, at least I do not think that we can plan now which family we will be born into the next time. However, I do think we can change our current life for the better (and perhaps learn any lesson we were suppose to learn and thereby make it possible that we do not need to repeat the lesson the next time). I hope that makes sense. What I am saying is if you learn to deal with negative people in this life, you will improve this life and possibly the next one as well.
I know that it is hard to confront family members, but I have found that I have to set limits on those around me who are having a negative effect on my life and if that person happens to be a family member, while it maybe harder to set those limits, it is not impossible. First, and this is just the way I have dealt with similar situations so it might not apply to you, I tell them to stop doing what they are doing and explain how it affects me. Generally this has only a modest impact on their long term behaviour but I have found that, by confronting the issue head on, it has changed my reaction to their actions. I feel more empowered and thus more in control. Thus while they may not have changed their actions greatly, I have changed my reaction and they bother me less. Also, in some cases I have told people that I need to limit my contact with them. I am always calm and firm in these conversations, and let them know that I love them, but that I just need space from them.
I don’t know if any of this could help you, but I urge you to search for ways to deal with these issues in this life. IMHO it might make you happier now and in your future lives if you do.
You raise an interesting question. The subject of planning our next incarnation comes up frequently. I am listing below some threads that you might finding helpful. I will also note that the subject of planning also comes up in threads that are on many topics.
The Inbetween Lifetime's State, what happens?
Karma is not Punishment
Choice, Planning and Guided Sessions
As to your specific situation and question, I am sorry that you are having a hard time with family members. I don't know whether you have had a regression or discovered past life memories through mediation but wonder if you recognize the family members with whom you have difficulties from a prior life.
I personally am uncertain whether we plan our reincarnations while in between lives, but IMHO whether we do or do not, I don’t think we can “plan” our next life in this one, at least I do not think that we can plan now which family we will be born into the next time. However, I do think we can change our current life for the better (and perhaps learn any lesson we were suppose to learn and thereby make it possible that we do not need to repeat the lesson the next time). I hope that makes sense. What I am saying is if you learn to deal with negative people in this life, you will improve this life and possibly the next one as well.
I know that it is hard to confront family members, but I have found that I have to set limits on those around me who are having a negative effect on my life and if that person happens to be a family member, while it maybe harder to set those limits, it is not impossible. First, and this is just the way I have dealt with similar situations so it might not apply to you, I tell them to stop doing what they are doing and explain how it affects me. Generally this has only a modest impact on their long term behaviour but I have found that, by confronting the issue head on, it has changed my reaction to their actions. I feel more empowered and thus more in control. Thus while they may not have changed their actions greatly, I have changed my reaction and they bother me less. Also, in some cases I have told people that I need to limit my contact with them. I am always calm and firm in these conversations, and let them know that I love them, but that I just need space from them.
I don’t know if any of this could help you, but I urge you to search for ways to deal with these issues in this life. IMHO it might make you happier now and in your future lives if you do.
Jody
Senior Registered
Personally, I think we're a lot smarter and more knowledgeable about these sort of things on the other side of the veil (if for no other reason because we probably have a better perspective on others' points of view over there), so as far as making actual plans, I personally think we'll have an oppurtunity to do that between lives. But I certainly don't think it hurts to ask your higher self/higher power to guide you into doing things now (they can be little, seredipidous things that you don't even consciously know about) that will best pave the way for your future life's plan.
Solysombra
New Member
You can think about what kind of future life / lives you want or if you know how to talk to your guides / friends than you can make plans to go back with them in your next life but all the official planning and whatnot takes place when you go back home.
Hi mom710,
I can't add much to the excellent replies other than welcome you to the forum. There is an old saying that sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, and I think this is the case in your situation from a soul point of view. You may well have agreed to this current relationship with your family members before you were even born, and like Alexnovo said, you could find yourself sharing a future life with your siblings where you could find that you are the best of friends.
When you are able to see the big picture in between lives, you may realize that there is a reason and something to learn from what you perceive to be a 'miserable life'. I do believe that you can prepare for a better future to a certain extent, by trying to put the negativity behind you and focus on the good things that you have, you did say that there are good people in your life, try and surround yourself with the more positive things and then you draw more positivity towards yourself. Try it ..... it works! You've already made a good start by joining this forum! :tongue: Looking forward to seeing you around ....
Chris
I can't add much to the excellent replies other than welcome you to the forum. There is an old saying that sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, and I think this is the case in your situation from a soul point of view. You may well have agreed to this current relationship with your family members before you were even born, and like Alexnovo said, you could find yourself sharing a future life with your siblings where you could find that you are the best of friends.
When you are able to see the big picture in between lives, you may realize that there is a reason and something to learn from what you perceive to be a 'miserable life'. I do believe that you can prepare for a better future to a certain extent, by trying to put the negativity behind you and focus on the good things that you have, you did say that there are good people in your life, try and surround yourself with the more positive things and then you draw more positivity towards yourself. Try it ..... it works! You've already made a good start by joining this forum! :tongue: Looking forward to seeing you around ....
Chris
W.A. HEART
Senior Registered
Hi Mom710!
I'm afraid I can only second what the others have said - and I really have to say that I think you got some excelent replies there - Chris is absolutely right - you are already taking a good step towards positive things by joining this Forum!
Welcome - and thanks for sharing!
I'm afraid I can only second what the others have said - and I really have to say that I think you got some excelent replies there - Chris is absolutely right - you are already taking a good step towards positive things by joining this Forum!
Welcome - and thanks for sharing!
soulfreindly
Senior Registered
I do not think we can control who we are with. It is in the nature of growth to not be able to remain complacent and to make changes. To do this it can take road blocks so that we come to understand we are not taking the right path. I see these road blocks as being created for our personal growth in such a way that we are also being instructed on how after reading the blocks to be able to decipher the root of their meanings.mom710 said:
I see family as at the core and what has remained with us from our beginnings. The family is the structure through which we must learn from. I believe that as we progress from life to life we are grappling with our ego as it has been affected in the family dynamics. It is up to us to have a look at how we relate to the family members so that we grow as a child does into having the wisdom of an adult.
I have found regression work a marvellous tool for understanding how I relate to family. I doubt I could have grown without regression work as so much of myself was locked in my past.. as I think we all must be.
I have had a mother and father this life who stiffled my ego , have had severe health challenges > But from that void I went looking for the ties I have to past families . This has given me more of a sense of my feelings and character and also now have a better perspective of how other people tick .
Are you considering doing regression work mom710?
soulfreindly
msmir
New Member
I have done a lot of research on my past lives while working with some renowned mediums who can read everything from the Akashic Records. In fact I am writing a book about this. I unfortunately did have a lot karma to balance AND I was a Holocaust victim in my last life. I thought that my life has been a miserable one but really I had a lot of lessons to learn and karmic issues to balance out with some people. As much as I hated my experiences, I have learned a lot. Honestly I don't want to come back either but that is my ego talking.. whatever my soul decides is what is important. So much torture happened to me in my last life that I probably will have to come back to heal the rest of it...because much of it I cannot face at all and don't think I will during the rest of my life.
I have heard we do actually plan our future lives, sometimes... while we are alive. This happens when we are in a very deep sleep, and projecting out to the mid astral planes.
I really hope this rough time passes by for you quickly. I know how it is to go through a miserable period.. I have had many.
Miriam
I have heard we do actually plan our future lives, sometimes... while we are alive. This happens when we are in a very deep sleep, and projecting out to the mid astral planes.
I really hope this rough time passes by for you quickly. I know how it is to go through a miserable period.. I have had many.
Miriam
Bondy
New Member
Hi Mom710. I really enjoyed Michael Newtons book too.
Ditto to pretty much everything else that is written on here.
But, my first post and have to add my two bob's worth. :tongue:
I must admit that some of whats going on in your life resonates with me....toxic families and the like. I do believe that current life events are to balance past life, and future lives are to balance our current one......basically, Karmic balance.
But, in each life there are several lessons we need to learn. From what your going thru with your family there could be a millions reasons (lessons) why...ie maybe in past life you were the one being negative and causing unhappiness/toxicity. So your having a taste of your own medicine .....sorry, I dont like that suggestion. Or possibly in previous lives you struggled with boundaries, so this life has given you an opportunity to create 'boundaries' with your siblings. Which inturn will gain you happiness and freedom. Yes, boundaries with family is very difficult...but, most lessons we have to learn are.
As you know, Michael Newton suggests that if a lesson isnt learnt in one life, you may come back in the next to give it another shot....maybe not with the same family (not like Groundhog Day). But, different characters and scenery, same plot!! So, in a way, you do have a say in what happens in your next life.
That said, if you do eventually set boundaries (or fulfil whatever lesson you are meant to) that will eventually create your happiness, in your next life you still may end up with the same family. But, chances are they will have different personalities becuase you will have different lessons to learn. Some of the posts people have made on this forum explain encounters with the same souls thru several lives. In all cases the souls have changed in personality/character. But, in essence they are the same soul. So, Mom710 you shouldn't be scared in thinking that you will keep encountering your siblings as they are in this life....they will change.
I do hope you find the strength to make your life happier.
Blessings.
X
Ditto to pretty much everything else that is written on here.
But, my first post and have to add my two bob's worth. :tongue:
I must admit that some of whats going on in your life resonates with me....toxic families and the like. I do believe that current life events are to balance past life, and future lives are to balance our current one......basically, Karmic balance.
But, in each life there are several lessons we need to learn. From what your going thru with your family there could be a millions reasons (lessons) why...ie maybe in past life you were the one being negative and causing unhappiness/toxicity. So your having a taste of your own medicine
.....sorry, I dont like that suggestion. Or possibly in previous lives you struggled with boundaries, so this life has given you an opportunity to create 'boundaries' with your siblings. Which inturn will gain you happiness and freedom. Yes, boundaries with family is very difficult...but, most lessons we have to learn are.As you know, Michael Newton suggests that if a lesson isnt learnt in one life, you may come back in the next to give it another shot....maybe not with the same family (not like Groundhog Day). But, different characters and scenery, same plot!!
So, in a way, you do have a say in what happens in your next life.That said, if you do eventually set boundaries (or fulfil whatever lesson you are meant to) that will eventually create your happiness, in your next life you still may end up with the same family. But, chances are they will have different personalities becuase you will have different lessons to learn. Some of the posts people have made on this forum explain encounters with the same souls thru several lives. In all cases the souls have changed in personality/character. But, in essence they are the same soul. So, Mom710 you shouldn't be scared in thinking that you will keep encountering your siblings as they are in this life....they will change.
I do hope you find the strength to make your life happier.
Blessings.
X
soulfreindly
Senior Registered
I do not think we always have to work out things in the family we have. Or they do not need to be around for a long time in our future as there are too many things to learn and much time is needed to do this.
In my case , the family I have now are but a reminder for my soul that I need not accept such behaviour from people in general . I can see how in many lives from now they may reenter my life but I wonder if they and I ever need to reunite as family.
We all need to be working towards being good at love. This is our job. For those who are not going to do a good job , we do have the right to fire them. The world is huge . They will find their way in another part of the world.. The time we reincarnate is also a long time.. ie lots of time to grow and learn how to handle those more difficult challenges in life.
soulfreindly
In my case , the family I have now are but a reminder for my soul that I need not accept such behaviour from people in general . I can see how in many lives from now they may reenter my life but I wonder if they and I ever need to reunite as family.
We all need to be working towards being good at love. This is our job. For those who are not going to do a good job , we do have the right to fire them. The world is huge . They will find their way in another part of the world.. The time we reincarnate is also a long time.. ie lots of time to grow and learn how to handle those more difficult challenges in life.
soulfreindly