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meeting loved ones vs ones who hurt

kemetic18

Senior Registered
the thread about meeting loved ones in the afterlife holds a lot of interest for me, but it makes me wonder about the people in our lives who hurt us. (and I apologize if this topic has been discussed before)

What about people who hurt us - the murderers, the abusers, the rapists, the drunk driver who kills a loved family member...are we bound to keep meeting them again?

I'm having a very hard time wrapping my mind around this concept because its very personal for me. I grew up in an very abusive, dysfunctional home and I cannot believe that the person who treated me so horribly in this life could *ever* have been someone who loved me in another life. I guess all the stories I hear of people who see loved ones waiting for them "on the other side" and how they meet loved ones again in different roles makes me wonder...could a soul decide, "okay, I loved you so very much in that life but now in this life I am going to torture you, but its for your own good so you experience something/learn something."???
 
Very good question.

What about people who hurt us - the murderers, the abusers, the rapists, the drunk driver who kills a loved family member...are we bound to keep meeting them again?
I believe we will meet them again. It's possible that we were the rapist, drunk driver, or any of those things in a previous life.


I really do think that we forgive once we cross into the spirit world. Maybe, as an earthbound spirit not quiet ready to cross over, we may still have hatred towards a person who has brought harm on us, or we are filled with guilt over harm we have brought onto someone else.

could a soul decide, "okay, I loved you so very much in that life but now in this life I am going to torture you, but its for your own good so you experience something/learn something?
I don't think so. Remember that free will most likely not be seen by the spirit world. Our actions during our incarnations towards family members, or any other life form for that matter, may not be planned at all when we were choosing our next life. As humans we will always make mistakes. We may make much bigger mistakes in one life than in another, but no human being is perfect.


There is many different ways to look at the question you have asked, and there will be many different opinions. And on subjects like this it really does just come down to opinions.
 
I personally feel that the concept of "trading places" for the sake of some kind of Karmic balance or justice is a totally twisted and romantic Western misinterpretation of what Eastern writers described as the Karmic wheel. Although it is true that we acquire a certain degree of empathy for others by walking in their shoes, I feel that it is also true that we acquire bad habits and patterns of living by repeating certain behaviors; and these patterns can cause us to be repeatedly abused or repeatedly the abuser. I don't believe that the abused victim becomes the abuser in a next life, unless the person is in a cycle of vendetta. However, the original abuser, by this time, may have either moved on to new adventures as an abuser, or could have ended the cycle of habit and moved on to different experiences.
 
A very good question...


I agree with Nightrain that you don't play opposite karmic roles. Just because someone did you wrong in this life doesn't always mean you will do them wrong next time - that would be revenge.


If they constantly make bad choices & mistakes, and you make good choices, I think over time your roles with each other become more distant (as long as there is no unfinished business that needs worked out first), and you can choose (with free will) to surround yourself with more positive people in the future.


That's what I believe anyway.
 
Somewhere I heard or got an idea that we must feel all things. So in order to feel all things we must experience all things, but if that were true then would we have to fill all sorts of shoes. Perish the thought but it could explain the evil as well as the goodness on this earth.
 
Leesea said:
So in order to feel all things we must experience all things, but if that were true then would we have to fill all sorts of shoes.
I believe that we do need to experience all things. However I don't believe that we have to walk in everyone's shoes in order to do so. Our compassion and empathy for others is what permits us to understand the suffering of others. When your heart breaks because someone else has lost a child, it can be as if you have lost one yourself. Evil, on the other hand, comes only from a lack of compassion.
 
Kristopher said:
There is many different ways to look at the question you have asked, and there will be many different opinions. And on subjects like this it really does just come down to opinions.
You're right. Sometimes I think that our brains cannot even begin to comprehend topics like this so we look at things like this through our cultural and societal filters and try to come up with some answers that make sense and make us feel good.


Personally, I don't believe in the notion of swaping roles to experiences exactly what someone else has felt. I can recall many different past lives and none of them appear to be role-reversal situations. Role-reversing seems awfully simplistic, I think examples of role-reversal are likely far more complex than just "I do it to you, you do it to me, then we're even".


I also think there could be many possible explainations for the presence of people in our lives who do us harm, one of which is simply random chance. I wonder if its possible that the bad things that have happened to me (and certainly to others) are not necessary part of some larger karmic retribution, but more along the lines of 'you take the good with the bad'.
 
Nightrain said:
I believe that we do need to experience all things. However I don't believe that we have to walk in everyone's shoes in order to do so. Our compassion and empathy for others is what permits us to understand the suffering of others. When your heart breaks because someone else has lost a child, it can be as if you have lost one yourself. Evil, on the other hand, comes only from a lack of compassion.
I prefer your way of thinking about this above what I had heard about and might half way believe. There are some who would debate that you can't feel something if you've never experienced it, yet I think I feel empathy and compassion and sometimes even painful feelings for people who have some hurt in their life. But then maybe it is that we have experienced something in another life that gives us the background knowledge even though subconsciously.


Sorry if I went off topic here.
 
kemetic18 said:
the thread about meeting loved ones in the afterlife holds a lot of interest for me, but it makes me wonder about the people in our lives who hurt us. (and I apologize if this topic has been discussed before)
What about people who hurt us - the murderers, the abusers, the rapists, the drunk driver who kills a loved family member...are we bound to keep meeting them again?


I'm having a very hard time wrapping my mind around this concept because its very personal for me. I grew up in an very abusive, dysfunctional home and I cannot believe that the person who treated me so horribly in this life could *ever* have been someone who loved me in another life. I guess all the stories I hear of people who see loved ones waiting for them "on the other side" and how they meet loved ones again in different roles makes me wonder...could a soul decide, "okay, I loved you so very much in that life but now in this life I am going to torture you, but its for your own good so you experience something/learn something."???
Well guess what, those who SEEMED to have been supportive towards you in previous lives can come back and TURN on you. It happened to me in this life. So now, there is karma between me and this woman and after what she did, I will never ever forgive her. Nor do I want to see her again. But I know I will have to face her at some point, and have it out with her in the afterlife.
 
For some years now I have been pondering the actual meaning of two things: FORGIVENESS and KINDNESS. You may splutter on your coffee (or merlot) at the notion that these concepts could possibly require close inspection.


I have met, loved, and passed on from my share of cruel, stupid people. I really do not think we need fear the AWFUL possibility that we are locked into some kind of Soul Club, endlessly performing on the earthly stage in a fixed array of roles. I believe we are FREE to associate with whoever we want to be with. When we are finished our time with them we can move on. I LOVE the idea that we are FREE souls. We are here to learn and to love. And we suffer on the way. For me kindness is a universal truth. I think it is the only way at present that I can interpret "universal love" in a humble, earthly way. Forgiveness means drop the impulse for revenge; drop your stone axe and walk away from the one who hurts you. Keep moving. Be Free. ;)
 
Thanks, Gerania, for posting that. Today I feel like wielding that stone axe. Not that I will, be figuratively, that is.


I think the relationship I had with this person was quite intense, maybe he was here to teach me not to be so trusting and to keep my eyes open, that people are not who they pretend to be.


It is heartbreakingly sad that I really thought for a very long time that this person was my soulmate. I hope that I am wrong. Or, if he really is I wonder why I would allow myself to be so hurt by someone that I cared so much for?
 
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