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3 year old

alison67

Senior Registered
I was sent to this board from a night terror board. I will tell you everything that is going on with my 3 and a half year old. I was originally only concerned with the night terrors but reading the posts here I wonder about everything else going on with her. She is the third child of 4 and the only one with these issues. She has been having night terrors for about two years and they are getting less frequent. She has about 5 a week now. I sleep in a bed beside her and if I get up for any reason she is instantly awake and upset and has to go with me. She always wakes up sobbing whether from a nap or mornings. If I go to the store she instantly is crying, hyperventilating, asking me 4 or 5 times if I am coming back. In the 10 minutes I am gone she asks her dad at least 5 times if I am coming back. If she just sees the vaccuum or lawn mower, or hears our neighbours dirtbike she is panicking, covering her ears, screaming and having trouble breathing. I only vaccuum when she goes on an errand with dad. She started talking early and tells me about her dreams with such detail. The one I wonder about the most was she woke up quietly sobbing and said that she had been rock climbing and the ropes broke and she fell. She said that she looked down and saw her body lying on rocks and one of her legs was severed and lying near her. She would have no knowledge of rock climbing or ropes from anything she had seen or watched on tv. She says that she is never going to school and gets upset if we talk about it. I don't know if the dreams are heriditary because I have always had very odd dreams and as a child had a collection of about 4 dreams I would have over and over in which I died in different ways. I still remember every detail of those dreams. My mother still tells me that from a very early age I would say I wanted to go home to Israel (we live in Canada) and she would listen and just find it odd. Apparantly I would tell her many details of life in Israel. At 4 I was given a beautiful Bible from a relative I just met. My mom says I opened it and there were about 10 pages of maps in the front. I got excited and said this is were I am from. She said I studied them for hours and would say "no this is wrong" or "this has a different name now" or "I know there is a small lake here but I don't see it on the map". The relatives just all thought I was nuts. Mom said I slowly stopped talking about Israel over the years and now as an adult I don't feel a connection. Are dreams reliving past lives or just things you are thinking about in the daytime? I don't know much about past lives, but find it very interesting. Thanks for listening.
 
I forgot to mention that my sister and I slept in the same room as children and apparantly I would talk in my sleep in a different language. Sometimes it would scare her so much she would get my parents and they would listen. My mom once wrote down what I said but it made no sense to us. I wish we had saved them.
 
Welcome to the forum. I would definately say that your daughter is having past life issues. If you haven't already read them, I highly recommend that you pick up Carol Bowman's books Children's Past Lives: How Past Life Memories Affect Your Child and her newer one Return From Heaven. Both have a lot of good stuff in them.

I also recommend our FAQ (At the top of this page is a pull down menu that says show topics from... Change it to show all topics) There are specific discussions on Night Terrors, Separation Anxiety, and Past life Dreams in Children, as well as a fairly comprehensive book list that the moderators recommend.

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There is no such thing as too many books. Too few bookcases can become a problem, however.
 
I would also say your daughter is having night terrors remembering past lives. Based on her behavior, I'd say she remembers some past life where someone she loved left her (probobly you, maybe when she was sleeping) and never came back - so therefor she is always worried about being abandoned now when she is asleap, even though it was a past life. Since she's so little, she doesn't realize that THAT life is over with, and it doesn't mean she'll be abandoned in THIS lifetime. I think you're wonderful to sleep next to her and reassure her. You might try talking to her in her sleep, reassuring her unconcious/subconcious mind that she is safe, she will not be abandoned, you are with her.

The loud noises are another clue - when you descibed it, I imagined something like a child sleeping during the bombing of London during the War, being woken from a deep sleep telling her she'd be right back, and then never returning (as if the parent died in the bombing). Maybe something like that happened, and the abandonment issue and the noise (like bombings) triggers it. Therefore, both sleeping and loud machinelike noises would be scary to her. Anyway, that's my 2 cents.

I would try every night to talk to her while she is sleeping, telling her she is safe and in another life now and that it's OK to sleep. Even though you may feel kinda silly doing it, I think it'll help her realize she is in a new life and that trauma belongs to a past life.

It also sounds like she is remembering more than one life, so there may be more than one trauma she is still workign through. I'd suggest letting her talk it out, and get it out of her system so to speak, or else it'll just fester inside like an infection and cause more problems later.

Good luck, mama!
 
Thank you for your response. I am new to this whole past life thing and find it fascinating. I will try your suggestions and will post in a few weeks with the results!
 
We had a night terror last night after a few nights of quiet. I am glad they are getting fewer. This time she wet the bed during it. That hasn't happened before but this nt did seem more intense than usually. I asked her this morning if she remembered me comforting her and changing her into dry clothes and she just said "mom you are so silly". She also had a vivid dream that she told me about this morning. The dream in her words "I was with a teenager and we were fighting in his apartment and he stabbed me in the eye with his knife. His mom came in and I was yelling why did he do this and the mom was screaming but I couldn't see her because there was too much blood in my eyes. I kept yelling at the boy, I told you not to do it, over and over". That is all she remembered. I asked her how old she was in the dream and she said she wasn't sure but she had big boobs LOL. I asked her if the mom was her mom and she said no it was the boys mom, I asked her the boys name and she said roach. I tried to get her to give any more details but she couldn't. I wonder if this took place in her night terror or if it is separate. Next nt, I will treat it as if she is going through the experience of trauma and gently talk to her. This doesn't seem to tie in with the dream of rock climbing at all. Maybe she is remembering a different past life or just has a very vivid imagination. I didn't know she knew the word "teenager", but then she often surprises us when she walks into the room and says something totally not right for a three year old. The other day our neighbour was starting up his dirtbike and she walked into the room where my girlfriend and I were sitting and said if that man continues to disobey the noise law, I am getting on the phone and calling a bylaw officer. First, it was 2 in the afternoon and he wasn't breaking any law, second his house is quite far from ours and doesn't even bother me or her dad and we have never even mentioned the law, bylaw officers etc. Another day she had a Drs appointment early and I said we better set the alarm for the morning. She said, don't worry, if the rooster doesn't wake me we can call the operator and she will call us when it is time to wake up. We have never had a rooster, they are not allowed to be owned in our city, I don't think she has even seen one and as for the operator, I don't even know if they do that or not.
 
I don't believe that they do that anymore. but in the early days it wouldn't have been such an unusual thing to request, Especially before alarm clocks became the commonplace item they are now.

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Galadriel aka Megan
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There is no such thing as too many books. Too few bookcases can become a problem, however.
 
I am in the telephone business, and you can rest assured that operators have not given wake-up calls for many years. Back in the days before dial telephones, however, one would place all calls by asking an operator to make the connection. In rural areas and small towns the phone companies were often local independent ones which employed local people. Everyone knew the operators. While today's operators are judged on how many calls they can handle in an hour, back then it would not have been unusual to chat with your neighbour, fiend or cousin who just happend to be an operator.

Immagine you have an appointment in the morning. You pick up the phone (which does not have a dial) and the operator answers by saying "number please." You know the voice and say "Oh hi! Becky," and then you mention to Becky that you need to see Doc Harding early and ask if she could call to be sure you are up. She says "I leave at 4:00, but I'll write myself a little note so that I remember to remind Marge." After she makes sure you didn't also need to call anyone you hang up knowing that the rooster will not have to act alone in ensuring your morning punctuality!
Marge calls as expected.

This would have still happend in most rural areas until sometime in the 40's or 50's, but some places still had old-fashioned operator service well into the 60's and the very last operator-only exchange in North America was de-commissioned in about 1983 and replaced with modern equipment.

That how it used to be. Perhaps you can understand someone missing it.

...Rod
 
I have been using the advice to talk softly to my daughter during a night terror. I keep saying things like: you are safe, its ok, I am here. She doesn't wake up but it does seem to help. We watched a program 2 nights ago and a small clip came on about rock climbing. She was instantly glued to the tv and kept saying wow he has good equipment and I hope he is careful. It was our first connection to her dream and real life and it was a bit weird.
 
With my daughters bad dreams, I would always put my hand on her heart and say "I love you" she would calm down instantly, but stay alseep. I find the more we talk about her past life, the more easy it is for her to integrate the memories even when awake. But she gets mad if I ask too many questions!

Marg
 
Thanks for you story.....that make me wonder now. My son is 9 months old, and every time he gets near the vacuum, he screams, I have to have someone take him outside or wait until he goes somewhere with my parents. But, He loves thunder and lighting.

I had the women that has done readings for me for years, do one just before he was born. She asked me who Joshua was. I told her that he was a soldier that I had written to during the Gulf war, and that he had died in an explosion while unloading an artillary truck. She said, that he was Joshua....that we were to be part of each others lives, and that it was not his time. Before, My Ex-husband and I chose my son's name (Evan), I just one day told him that we should name him Josh, but he said no that he already had a nephew named Josh. (Now I know there was a reason).

Everyone always tells me how my son looks like a little man, and not like a baby. I did have a picture of Josh in his uniform once, and if my son looks at me the right way, I would swear that it is him.
 
Wow, SingleMom! What a story. I am a single Mom too. Thank you for sharing. Feel free to write me.
 
We had a frightening experience Saturday night. Grace woke up screaming around 2am and I assumed it was another night terror. She screamed mommy help me. I looked over and even in the dark I could see her whole face was smeared with blood. I was very scared. I grabbed her and ran for the bathroom downstairs. It was a nosebleed and it was so bad she was holding her hand up to her nose and the blood was dripping off her elbow. She sat on my lap on the bathroom floor for about 30 minutes and she kept holding her head in her hands saying, what am I going to do mom. We changed her clothes, her bedding and all the blood dripped on the floor and went back to bed and after a minute laying in the quiet dark she said mom I thought it was my eye. I asked her what she meant and she said when she woke up and saw all the blood on her face she thought it was when she was stabbed in the eye. I assured her it was just a nosebleed and they happen to everyone and to go to sleep. I however laid there for awhile with goosebumps at what she had said.
 
HI,

I am new to this board, but very familiar with night terrors and dreams. I felt compelled to reply to your post.
When you daughter has a night terror or bad dream I would try to picture her surrounded with the protection of white light. Then whisper to her that she is protected by this light and that any negative memory or experience from prior lives be disolved into this white light.
I say a similar prayer to my son at night and he has stopped his waking at night with screams.
I wish you all the best. You are a wonderful Mom for looking into this, I am sure you will be able to get through all of this soon.

T
 
Tracyc and Alison,

Yes, I often did exactly that, surrounded my daughter with soft, soothing light. Often, I would hear her quiet down within minutes, but as soon as I broke my concentration, she would start up again.

The best advise I can give you, coming from a Mom who dealt with daily night terrors for almost a 2 YEARS, is COMFORT, COMFORT, COMFORT!!! ALWAYS be there for your child, no matter how hard it might be because you are so sleeo deprived yourself. Don't ever let a doctor tell you that it's OK to let them CRY IT OUT!!!

I followed my doctor's advise to do just that, and to NOT go into the room AT ALL!! My daughter cried for an hour straight and finally got herself so worked up she was vomiting! NEVER, EVER again did I let her cry for more than 10 minutes or so!

Remember, if they are crying or afraid, they NEED YOU! If you need a break, take one, but ALWAYS come back and comfort them! It is very frightening for our new souls in the beginning. THey have to adjust to a LOT, and also may be having things from their PAST that they are trying to deal with. YOU are their link to the here and now AND to their past in most cases.

Night terrors are frightening for both the child AND the parent. They are also confusing and emotionally draining. BUT they DO pass! Hang in there!

Feel free to email me, if you'd like to talk more!

Tammy

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LOVE

It's really that simple!
 
I just had to add to this thread. After reading this forum, I used some of what you have mentioned here to deal with sleeping terrors and apparent nightmares with a child that I had been taking care of (child care while his Mom worked) for 8 months. He and I have a past life connection and I love him soooo much. (I don't have children of my own.) He started with the sleep terrors a little after he turned 6 months old. I would talk to him as he was falling asleep or if I found him in the middle of a bad dream, I would comfort him by talking to him. I also used the white light for protection. It always worked. I also started telling him as I was rocking him to sleep that he could leave his body and go back to the "other side" and visit with loved ones there while his body was sleeping if he wanted to.

I just want to applaud the Moms here for being so open-minded and interested enough in their children to seek this knowledge...Bless you!

~MoonSinger
 
Our night terrors are finally after two years becoming less frequent. We had one last night but it was the first one in 5 nights.
I am not sure why but we are noticing that Grace is saying more things that make us wonder. The other day she was playing with a fisher price plane and said "this is where I sat when I went on a plane". I said but Grace you have never been on a plane and she looked at me as if I was simple and said "I mean when I was an adult, you weren't there". My hubby walked me into the kitchen and said that he was getting the creeps.
Yesterday I took her to the park and she said she only wants nice dreams from now on. I said me too, and she said "my bad dreams remind me of when I was a mother". Not "mom", or "mommy" but mother. A word I never use. I asked her if she was a mother and she said yes and she missed her kids but when I asked her about them she couldn't elaborate.
I am just fascinated with what she comes out with but I never bring it up. I let her or otherwise I would question if I was leading her into it.
 
I have been reading your posts for some time. I am glad the terrors are getting better. I don't think there is any harm in asking questions. I have nearly tracked down my daughter's past life family details by asking questions. The open dialogue seems to have helped her a lot. And it has helped me too. As we talked more, she got to rememebr the good things too, not just the traumas. For example she used to love getting an Italian Ice called watermelon ice. I had never heard of it, but I was able to get some and it was really fun to share it with her. She said it was just like what she had gotten in Courtice Ontario more than one hundred years ago! And that was fun. I am sometimes so impressed that she can recall so clearly her past. I wish someone had paid more attention when I was younger, and thought to ask questions when that window of time (age 2-7)was open to recall.

Don't you ever wonder what plane she was on? Or where she lived that the roosters woke her up? She may enjoy telling you more. And of course, write it all down. I am planning to take a trip to Canada to visit the place where she and I last lived. She loves trains, so I am thinking of taking an Amtrack there, and going on an old fashioned steam train ride once we get there. A railway club runs an old steamer not far from where we will be staying. As I have done my research, I have met very sweet people. They are so touched by the story, and happy to help out. It has been just wonderful.

Marg
 
Yesterday we took the bus to the Drs and half way up the mountain (we live downtown) Grace blurted out that she remembered being in a car and getting into an accident in a place similar to where we were. She said a very nice policeman helped her get into an ambulance and she was fine. I asked when this happened and she said when she was a mother. The elderly lady sitting beside Grace turned to me and said your daughter is an old Soul, remembering a past life. I thought that was weird, seeing how I come here. I thought later that her first incident was to do with rock climbing and this one was while driving up a mountain in a bus. I would bet the two are related.
Speaking to the last poster, I never bring up these things to Grace but when she says something I ask alot of questions as yes I am very interested. She never seems to know much other than what she blurted out, but it is such weird stuff for a 3 year old.
 
It sounds like you are doing just great! And how amazing that this old woman was there to make that comment at just that time! Validation can come from everywhere!

I guess I had an opportunity to ask a lot of questions becuase for three months I delivered newspapers. I was up at midnight and got home by 5 or 6 am. She rode in her car seat, and mostly slept, but sometimes woke up and talked. She told me amazing things. She asked me to take her places I had never heard of. She told me all about her friends, from her past life. She shared some trauma, and some sentimental stories. I could ask her questions easily, because she was really half asleep anyway, and the motion of the car may have hypnotized her. I don't know. But the dialogue is not the same now that I quit that job, and we now sleep normal hours.

Marg
 
I am really new at this past lives idea but I am truly searching for any answer
My three year old daughter has never slept well, I mean she goes to sleep fine, usually, but she cannot stay asleep- at least four times a week she will wake up screaming, terrified, shaking, absolutely frightened- if she ever talks I usually cannot understand her, I NEVER tell her everything is ok because it truly is not for her in the moment...anytime she has ever expressed what happened I usually don't understand but I listen and hold her and she eventually falls asleep, but sometimes she will have been crying for an hour or more-
She is amazing- she will wave to 'people' that I cannot see, she knows names, what tehy look like, she has 'imaginary friends' at 3 that she will be walking by the front door and say "Kala is here"...we don't 'know' anyone named 'Kala'....I have endless endless examples of this, she will scream at the sight of some strangers and otehrs she will walk up to and say hi...even from a distance she will say, 'I don't like him'...about some guy across the parking lot that I have never seen before...I am trying to embrace this part of her, I want her to feel special, but I think she is starting to get it that I don't always see what she does...how can I reassure her that she is the lucky one when she is so terrified sometimes by what she does see...running out of her bedroom, hyperventilating saying 'there's a man in my room, ther's a man in my room,....help...
 
I handle it this way with my daughter. I tell her I can't see what she sees, so she has to tell me what she sees, and help me. She told me much more once I did that.

The people she sees are often people from her pastlife. She is reliving the past events, only after the sun goes down, it seems. AS SHE RESOLVES THE TRAUMA THIS STOPS HAPPENING. We talk openly about anything she wants to tell me. If I don't understand what she said, I repeat what few words I did get, when she wakes up. I don't tell her she cried in hte night, she won't remember. Sometimes she will tell me what those words meant.

I never told her that she was ok, I guess, but I did tell her that she had died and become a baby again. In her case, I knew where she had lived, so I told her the mean people were in another country. I have since learned that her past life was over one hundred years ago. So, I have told her that the mean people have died and become babies again to learn to be nice. Perhaps they will never be nice, I don't know.

We do get other visitors. They come for one reason or another and she tells me so I know. We've had very nice visitors. She used to see monsters, but they are gone since she made peace with her past.

Her imaginary friends, I ask lots of questions about. Names, ages, where they live. Are they neighbors? COusins? This helps me i my research regarding her past life.

I don't let her sleep alone. I know enough about spirits to want her with me. Even if *I* can't see them. She sleeps better with me than alone.

If there is a spirit in her room, try to get it out! Is it the same one all the time, that she describes? Is it always a man? Some people burn sage or cedar to get them out, some people use a blue light, or use a blessing of white light around the child. Some people get a phychic or medium to come and talk to them and find out what is going on with them. There are lots of posts about these things on this board.

I tend to trust her judgement of other's character, but not always! The nasty characters from her past life left her trusting nasty people who are similiar. Just because a child is gifted, doesn't mean they are always right!

Please get a copy of Carole's book! At the bottom of the page click on Carol's bookstore. "Child's Past lives" is a great book.

Marg
 
Thank you for your response...and your ease about the situation, it has me all tense and stressed for her, yes she sleeps with me most of the time, but I am a light sleeper and even if she has fallen asleep on the couch I am there almost immediatley when she awakes, and if she has had a scary time she will sleep the rest of the night wiht me...thank you for the sage burning idea, we should cleanse our house more anyway...I am trying to search out an energy healer, perhaps Reiki for helping her channel this energy to make sure that it isn't trapping within her, I am completely naive about this stuff but I am open to anything that will help her become more at peace...
 
Yeah, I understand. I don't know all that much about cleaning energy out of houses (heck, I have a hard enough time with mundane housework!). But these are the things I had heard of. I used to burn sage all the time, but I didn't have any spirits around that I knew of!

When going to a Reiki person, a Reiki MASTER is better! Why not get the best! I also think that the Edgar Cayce people might be able to refer someone. Spiritual Advisory Councel, or Spiritual Frontiers Fellowship. I don't know, maybe they are online? Try a search. But keep in mind, it may be her RELIVING a past event too, in which case, it isn't a spirit but a memory that she is dealing with. But a Reiki Master may be able to help with that too.

I have some friends that think I am sensative psychicly, I am not so sure. One friend invited me to a house (long story) where several people would spend the night. I was told nothing, but given my choice of rooms. One room, I refused to sleep in, and another room I was very drawn to. The one I refused, I told her I just felt I didn't belong there.

Turns out, growing up, my friend had the room I was drawn to, and the room I refused was occupied by a sister who commited suicide. I knew NONE of this, she NEVER spoke of it, until after this little experiment with me. I saw the girl (spirit) looking at me through the doorway when I was going to sleep. She wasn't mad that I was there, but rather confused by it. She seemed shy. This was confirmed later by my friend, the shyness, I mean.

Anyway, sounds like you are doing a great job! She is lucky to have such a wise and receptive open minded Mom! I know what you mean about it freaking you out when you feel like you can't talk to anyone about it, talking to others and dealing with it matter of factly really helps. I posted more on "angry at her other parents" if you want to hear my story.

Marg
 
alison67-
hi i would like to know... ask your three yr old if she remembers any thing, any places children are the most likely to remember because they are the closest to this they are younger and have not forgotten so ask her what she remembers and why she doesnt like the loud noises... also while children are in that really sleepy area its easier to talk to their subconscience- just a thought.
 
Thank you for your insight and disclosing your experiences Marg- any feedback on this is very much appreciated because it is such an important issue for me to respond to in the way that best meets her needs...thank you for your support!!
 
Hi Jo, I read your posts in this thread and in another thread. I have a brief comment on your three year old's possible past life connections. It appears to me that both "Maya" and "Kala" are Indian names. Perhaps, she remembers a past life in India as Maya while Kala could be her friend or relative in that life. I have no idea about how to investigate this further. Just my two cents' worth.

Kris
 
Thank you Kris, I hadn't thought of the connection of the names, I have loved the name Maya since high school and when I became pregnant I then found out that in Hindu it means the positive energy that flows between all people, I loved that meaning!! But I have felt connected to that name for a long time....interesting...thanks for your response!
 
So how are things going? Sending love your way!

Marg

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Motherhood is living in a state of perpetual exhaustion and bliss. And knowing your work is never ever ever ever done. LOL!
 
Last night I was reading a book to Grace. When I finished she said "Mom, you read so much better than I did". I asked her to explain and she said that the way I read and do the voices and such is not the way she read to her kids. She said she was a pretty boring reader and she used to skip pages LOL. Dh looked over at me and gave me "the look". He gets the creeps when she starts.
Her night terrors are coming along nicely. We are now down to about 2 a week which is pretty great!
 
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