My 2-yr-old obsessed with past life... Need help

Hi,
Just started reading Carol´s book, but my husband and I need some urgent help and support right now... My little one is almost 2 years old (22 months) and started talking about a month ago, and as soon as she started to communicate she began talking about her past life. She remembers very detailed aspects of what I think was a very violent death, possibly during war or a dictartorship, maybe as a prisoner somewhere in Latin America (both my husband and I are from Latin America). She uses very specific references such as "muchachos", "no quiero morir", "los perros se comen los vestidos y los pies", etc. There is a man with sunglasses and a half-grown beard, that she calls "el papo" who comes to take her in a car with a siren (police car?), kills her mom and her little brother. There are a lot of more details that I really don´t want to go into (like her being tied down)... But I´m really worried because is seeping in into her everyday activities, such as taking baths which she´s afraid of, she´s having recurring nightmares, she´s afraid of alarms, fireworks, dogs barking, when people knock hard on our door, fear of falling... I feel like she can´t have a normal kid´s life, and I don´t know what to do. We try to distract her, take her to the park, listen to music, do some painting, visit family, but it´s getting worse by the day.

I understand that past life regression really helps, but I feel like she is too young to understand and to be able to split that reality with this one. We don´t let her watch any violent shows or anything, but even very gentle shows are starting to trigger memories (like Caillou... Pocoyo, anything that reminds her of her little brother).

A friend told us that maybe we need to "close down her chakra", but I don´t know what that means... But if anyone has gone through a similar experience and has some advice, we´d really, really, really appreciate it.

all the best and thank you,
sofía

Welcome to the forum. This is Carol Bowman's website and forum. I think you should contact Carol directly through this forum. You will see something on the main page about contacting her. In case you don't already know she is a therapist and also knows therapists all over the country and beyond. She can advise you better than any of us. You might try and tell your daughter that happened a long time ago and she is safe now. I'm sure you know Latin America has had a bloody history just in the last 50 years or so. Chile comes to mind. Also Argentina and Nicaragua.

I do agree, Carol is who you should speak to. I would not be afraid of regression with your daughter, she is obviously dealing with the end of that past life in a horrific way and hopefully by working with someone qualified she can get closure to that lifetime and become the happy little girl she is destined to be.


I do not know what religion you are but I will end my day with a prayer of peace for your little girl, and for your family.


((Hugs))

thank you


Thank you both so much. I will contact Carol directly as you suggest. Thanks for the prayers.


peace,


sofia

I have come to believe that we are, none of us, "normal". My oldest was with me when I was stoned to death. My middle child, Emily, was drowned in a tub or vat. And my youngest, who is three, we are still learning about, but she seems to know what the effects are of scurvy, and what to do about it.


Your child just has an advantage in that she is very verbal apparently, she has parents who will listen to her, and most importantly, who will not dismiss what she is saying as imagination.


My advice is, try not to worry. Treat her as you would anyone who had suffered such things. When she as sad, tell her you are sorry for her loss. Tell her, that in the fullness of time, her family can be together again. When she is scared, tell her she is safe, and loved, and that you are glad she is here with you now.


If she wants to talk, listen. Don't be surprised, though, when you ask a question and she looks at you as if you are crazy. The veil of remembrance goes up quickly, and in a second, slams back down.

sofiajt said:

But if anyone has gone through a similar experience and has some advice, we´d really, really, really appreciate it.

Click to expand...

Hi Sofía


Welcome to the board. I feel you have found the right place. I feel your daughter is very blessed to have parents who take her seriously enough to seek advise and guidance. Carol is a devoted professional with many years experience dealing with cases like yours.


I just replied on another message how my Mom said that at a very young age - I too started speaking of past lives. What I can recall of it now - it wasn't just one - it was several past lives memories flooding me at once. It was a very traumatic time for my young mind. They worst thing I can recall going through at that age was - not being taken seriously and having my parents try to discredit my 'recall' with theories of something other than what it was.


The one thing I do recall during that time was 'visions' or 'dreams' with what could only be called 'spiritual guides' who also consulted me on the matter - yet they took it very seriously and knew I was dealing with real issues concerning past lives. What I can recall of the 'spirit guides' during that time was the explanation that a 'foundation' was being laid with something like 'wet cement.' It would harden with time and I wouldn't get bogged down with the past life recall as time progressed.


It took many years to convince my parents of the 'reality' I was facing in my young mind. It was hard to convince them of the reality of reincarnation - but - I did convince them of the reality of my own personal 'spirit guides.' Around the age of 10 or so - both my parents and grandparents told me of receiving a visit in the night and their own vision of meeting my 'invisible friends.' They informed me that they felt they too received guidance and understanding of how to deal with the situation as it arose from an undeniable 'spiritual source.' (I don't recall what age my parents or grandparents said I was when these spiritual visions occurred for the sake of their own personal minds.)


As I grew older - my parents sincere advise to me was either to ask my 'invisible friends' for help - or - to turn it over to God for direction and understanding. They also told me to seek out older minds (or other young friends) with a better understanding of it than they walked with.


Have you read of Dr. Jim Tuckers two books, Life Before Life, or Return to Life. Dr Tucker documents the extraordinary cases involving parents and their children who have past life recall.


I think it is important to know - you not alone.


Wishing you the best in your own situation.


Sincerely,


DKing

I cannot add anything else to these excellent suggestions given before this post, except to suggest, that if you have any type of Audio Recording device, to record your Daughter when she starts talking about Past Lives.


These recording files could be taken (or sent to) the Therapist so that he/she can hear what the little girl is saying.


Any Audio Recording device is fine (from boombox, all the way up to a dictating recorder unit) as long as it clearly picks up her voice, if she is soft spoken, like some children are, then a hand-held microphone on a long cord might help.


Just a suggestion.

Welcome to the board


My mother was my sister in at least two past


lives. I recognized at very young age my mother


was my sister. I was told she was a twin sister to


me. I would seek Carol's help as other advised.


A long time ago a very well psychic who passed


away late last year. Said the veil was lifting


on on this world an the next. it's really astounding,


how true that has become with so many children


remembering there past lives.

Sofiajt, thanks for sharing! Please, don't have a regression performed on your 22 months old babe. A responsible therapist will not do this, anyway! And, like it has already been recommended, read Dr. Tucker's book, especially the new one. He is a trained childrens' psychatrist and very approachable...I wish you and your kid all the best!

Carol has said in her book she doesn't like to regress young children.

Just so you know, I've been corresponding with Sofia via email about her daughter since yesterday.


You're right, there really isn't any way to traditionally regress a child that age. That's why I wrote my first book about young children who have spontaneous, traumatic past life memories, and offered advice on how a parent can help a child process and release the memory. It will be interesting to see if Sofia can help her 22-month-old. If the techniques work, I will ask Sofia if she would be willing to post on the Forum and tell us about it.


I know the techniques have worked with children as young as two. We'll see. I hope she can help her daughter with her fears.

I also want to add that Drs. Stevenson and Tucker dismissed my claims that in some cases you can help a young child heal a traumatic memory by talking them through it and acknowledging what they're experiencing. That is the point where my work departs from theirs. As far as I can tell, Jim Tucker is still following Ian Stevenson's lead and continues his quest to verify memories and analyze the patterns in the cases.


I'm more interested in the healing potential of the memories, because both of my children had memories, and both were healed of phobias relating to their past life deaths. Their memories and subsequent healings were a profound personal experience for me, too. It completely changed the way I looked at children, my own life, my past lives, and about death. I wrote the books so I could help other parents navigate the territory and help their own children who might be remembering traumatic lives, since there are very few therapists and psychiatrists who work with children's past life memories. (I feel that I'm repeating what I said in my books, but I'm speaking to those of you who haven't read them.)


I prefer to focus on healing, because I found that after 25 years of researching this phenomenon, it's very difficult finding cases as rich in detail as the case of James Leininger that can be verified. Actually, his case began when Andrea contacted me about James's nightmares in 2001. She used the techniques in my first book and Jame's nightmares immediately reduced in frequency and intensity. After that, he remembered more and more detail, which is unusual. Because he had so many specific memories, his parents were able to figure out who he had been in his previous life. Eventually, James felt complete about his former life. In my opinion, his soul had a healing from his traumatic life as a pilot after he was able to talk about it, and then go back to the place where he had died in his previous life. It's really an amazing story of healing and awakening for the whole family.

Carol, I think you are a pioneer or "Trail Blazer" in this field. Maybe after enough children are helped by your technique it will someday become standard treatment.

Here is the NPR podcast. Scroll down to the bottom and you will find it. You can even download the .mp3 file.

thank you...


Dear friends (which is what indeed you are),


My husband and I are both crying here reading your responses, your advice, your love, really. It´s been a very hard day for us today because my daughter started talking about torture... Seeing other people being tortured and experiencing it herself.


Needless to say, it is very painful to hear her talk about these things because we have both met people who have gone through that... And it brings up painful memories in us. We know exactly what she is talking about...


But because of this, exactly, I know deep inside that it is very important for her to talk about it, to let it out so it doesn´t fester inside. And I guess I should be thankful that it is happening now and not later when she is an adult, or in adolescence, that we are here for her and we are giving her all the love that we can. We are also trying to balance between not triggering her painful memories and letting her flow with them. That´s a hard thing to do.


But seriously, your words of encouragement are very helpful to us. To know that we are not alone. Carol, tonight right before going to sleep she went into a trance and talked about very specific memories, she relived them. You were right about that... trance is easy.


Tomorrow we have an appointment with an energy specialist, wish us luck. I´m also going to seriously ask my dad who passed away a while ago, to look out for her (thanks DKing).


all the best and peace,


sofia

All the best to your daughter and your family. May you get through these trying times together. I hope that with time these tough memories fade from consciousness and she learns to be the happy little girl she is meant to be.

Sofia, your story is so moving, and of profound interest to us on the forum. I feel sure Carol's healing approach will help your little one. We're sending you good thoughts, and prayers.

sofiajt said:

Needless to say, it is very painful to hear her talk about these things because we have both met people who have gone through that... And it brings up painful memories in us. We know exactly what she is talking about...

Click to expand...

I often write and share memories of my own childhood experience and sometimes limit my expression to my point of view and the hardship it was to break through the barrier of 'dis-belief.'


When I was 12, my parents finally started taking a very serious look at the issue and speaking directly to me about it in a way they had avoided before. I feel they had spoken to other parents and I was told that other parents who went through that with a young child - usually reported that the 'stories' (or memories) went away as the child got older. (This was in the 60's and early 70's.)


My Dad made me realize what a shock it was for them and how they had to deal with their own level of trauma and pain listening to some of the tales I told about my own past life memories. (I could describe in rich vivid detail a battle in a war zone from the past that makes the opening scene in Saving Private Ryan look like a walk through Disneyland.)


For me, I feel it is very important for the parents of children who go through this sort of ordeal to recognize and seek the healing they need for their own level of trauma as well.


My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family during your crisis.


Sincerely,


DKing

Carol said:

I also want to add that Drs. Stevenson and Tucker dismissed my claims that in some cases you can help a young child heal a traumatic memory by talking them through it and acknowledging what they're experiencing.

Click to expand...

For an adult who went through this firsthand as a child - I absolutely agree with this.


For the first decade, my parents approach was what my Dad called an 'ostrich sticking it's head in the sand.' They wanted to pretend it wasn't real and that there was some sort of logical and rational explanation grounded in a physical reality rather than a 'spiritual connection.' (They often tried to tell me that I had stayed up late watching TV and heard a program that was 'planted' in my mind that made it seem real - rather than fantasy.)





It wasn't until the age of 12 that my parents, grandparents and family members started addressing it with a sense of reality and allowed me to talk about the memories in a way that did start a healing process. (Not only for myself - but for them as well.)


The final healing moment came when I turned 18 and met another young man who had been on the same battlefield I had been on. I came face to face with another living person who had grown up with the same 'trauma' associated with the very same past life memory. For the first time in my young life - I never had to say a word about that past life memory and the horror associated with it. He knew everything I knew. Even though our words were brief and short - I felt we exchanged a million stories, and a billion words - just gazing into one another's eyes and embracing the soul of one another.


What had been 'chaos' and disorder for 16 years - got turned into harmony and I realized there was an order and organized spiritual flow in the undertow of human life.


For many years - I felt I was blamed for 'tripping' over some sort of 'hidden' wire - or turning on some sort of 'forbidden switch' that gave me the memories such as it was. It was only when I met the other young man (from the past life) that I realized - it was my destiny. Prior to that moment - I felt cursed and burdened. After that moment - I felt blessed and enlightened.


The first step in that direction was 'talking' about it and having others allow me to process the experience by taking it seriously.


Thank you Carol for all your hard work and devotion to children and families seeking the inner harmony for their own healing process.


Sincerely,


DKing

shadowsofmypast said:

Welcome to the board
My mother was my sister in at least two past


lives. I recognized at very young age my mother


was my sister. I was told she was a twin sister to


me. I would seek Carol's help as other advised.


A long time ago a very well psychic who passed


away late last year. Said the veil was lifting


on on this world an the next. it's really astounding,


how true that has become with so many children


remembering there past lives.

Click to expand...

I think I was my Mother's mother in a past life, she died when my Mother was 3 yrs. old. I have memories as a baby before I could talk, thinking to myself..."remember to tell her...." (when I can talk) but of course I cant remember what I was to tell her.

An OLD Soul in a YOUNG body.


Carol's approach to treating very young children is CORRECT while the research by Dr. Stevenson/Tucker in regards to this approach in treating very young children is WRONG.


The Dr. Stevenson/Tucker research does not approach their patients from a spiritual point of view, but rather from an outmoded secular point of view which does not take into account certain things.


That we, by ALL appearance's are a spiritual being temporarily encased in a mortal body of flesh and bones, whose task is, but one thing, to carry the Soul around so that the Soul can fulfill it's planned purpose thought out before the Soul's acquisition of a new body.


Every now and then we hear someone say "He/She is an old Soul" when looking into the babies eye's and I have certainly found this to be true in the past.


Consciously the child acts, talks and behaves like a child, but sub-consciously the child has a more mature Soul that responds as an Adult might respond to another Adult.


So, IMHO a child will often respond to regression therapy in a positive manner when the sub-conscious mind is addressed in a manner that the conscious mind can correctly and properly access the sub-conscious mind.


Just a personal viewpoint of mine.

Hydrolad,


Drs. Stevenson and Tucker are doing something completely different with these memories. As far as healing goes, they aren't addressing it. I wouldn't say they're wrong, and I'm right. We're just doing two different things with these memories. I am surprised that after all these years, neither of them would acknowledge that there is healing potential in these memories.


There are some excellent past life therapists throughout the U.S. and in Europe I know of who are working with children's memories. Unfortunately, there aren't too many of them.

Sofia,


I thought I'd post this on the public Forum so everyone can read it, since you are getting great support here.


I agree that it will probably be easier for your daughter to release the memories now, if she is able to talk about them freely. Keep reassuring her, maintain some physical contact with her--hugging or massage--while she's talking about it. As I said, use your mother's good intuitive sense and at the right moment, after she's said what she needs to, or cries, or has some physical release (trembling, shivering), assure her that what happened was before, when she was in a different body, and that it will not happen now, and that she is safe.


I think it's a blessing that she is releasing this memory now, as painful as it is for her, and as scary as it is for you to witness. She does need a witness. She needs to tell her story.


Send prayers to her, or guardians, or whatever your belief system is. It can only help.


Take some good deep breaths while she is experiencing it, to help you let go of what she's releasing.


Hang in there, and keep us posted!


Carol

Thanks again to all of you, and particularly Carol, for all your support and help. Otherwise, I think we would be going a bit nuts with this and probably react negatively.


Ok, so yesterday we went to an energy therapist (per Carol´s suggestion and also coincidentally, my cousin had just gone to see her). I think it was a very successful trip. Even though the therapist herself seemed very skeptical about my daughter talking about a past life (she´s never seen a case so young talking about these things), she did tune in on the fact that whatever it is, it was important to deal with it.


(The therapist suggested that my daughter might be dealing with "genetic memories" that passed on in our family. My husband and mother-in-law are both survivors of dirty wars, but my husband insists that nothing that our daughter is talking about specifically rings a bell... I myself rather think that it is true that kids chose their parents. She needed to be heard and we opened up because we recognized immediately what she was talking about. But then again, maybe it´s a mix of both? Who knows...).


Anywho, the therapist suggested several things, from us parents dealing with "ghosts of past", to blessing our house, to ALWAYS staying open to our daughter. So rather than saying, "No, there is no papo here" (that man-men that hurt her-them), acknowledge that you understand she is afraid of el papo but that she doesn´t have to be afraid anymore because we will take care of her, and that she´s left him behind. I mean, I think most importantly she said that at her age saying "no" will only confuse her because she can´t really differentiate reality from "memories" (or past from present, I guess). It is very important to acknowledge her visions, her fear, her pain.


THEN, she said something that I thought was very helpful (it´s amazing how although the therapist never acknowledged my daughter´s past life, she was definitely using her intuition when giving me advice). She said that maybe what I should do is help her tell her story fully, that is, re-tell her what she is telling me but as if in a story book. She said I needed to end the story, because my daughter hadn´t been able to do so... That is, talk about her death. Carol, at this point it really clicked for me! I totally understand I can´t do a regression with her, but maybe I can help her get some closure? I mean, I thought, if she goes in and out of trance anyway, couldn´t I help guide her through it by playing with her? Let me finish the therapy session first...


The therapist then did a reiki session on my daughter, which I´m sorry to say didn´t seem to help (before going to sleep, like every night, she started talking about her past). BUT my daughter really liked it (so I guess it did help). She was really into it and then she was mimicking the therapist and doing reiki on me! So that was fun, at least...


This morning she was NOT doing ok at all... She was constantly talking about her past, scared of the sirens outside (there are a LOT of sirens around here, **** it!) that are coming for her, she said, our landlady knocked on the door and she started crying about el papo, she was telling me her "dress hurt" but she didn´t want to change (she always remembers dogs "eating dresses and legs"... short digression here, I don´t like dresses much, never have, was a bit of a tomboy, so I didn´t buy dresses for my daughter until about 2 months ago when she insisted she wanted to wear the only dress she did have - a present - all the time. And then, a month later, her regression began. Can I call it that? I guess is like she´s in and out of one all the time. Anyhow, all the women in her memories are wearing dresses, which makes us think it´s was an indigenous community).


Gosh, can I just say how MUCH it helps me to write these things here... thanks again for listening, seriously.

(sorry it didn´t take the entire text...)


Ok, so I decided to give her a warm bath in her blue baby tub, she´s too big for it but she loves it. And she has a thing for the color blue which the therapist said it was a good thing and it was ok to encourage it (does anyone know why? i forgot to ask her). She loves baths, but they always trigger her memories. So undoubtedly, she started talking about it again. But this time, I got into it... I grabbed her toys and started retelling her (not with all the gory details) what she´s been telling me. Wow, she loved that! And she started getting into it with me and correcting me, or adding things. And then I got to the part of her death (which she´s never talked about), and I just decided they were all going to die. I said, "Look they all closed their eyes, her mom, (I was talking in the 3rd person), her brother, she did too, and el papo. And look, a white light was surrounding them, and they were finally at peace, and el papo wasn´t angry, he was sad." And all her toys said, "don´t be sad papo, let´s be friends again!"


She was listening... I don´t think she was that convinced, but she really like it when everyone became friends again. And I felt better too, to be honest. I can´t go on with my life having a grudge for a man-men who hurt my daughter in a past life but who no longer exist...


So anyhow, Carol, what do you think? What does your instinct tell you and do you have any suggestions?


One thing is true, acceptance is EVERYTHING (DKing... I´m sorry to hear about your parents, but it is such a scary, painful thing to hear your kid talk like that. To see your kid re-experience it in her head... It´s incredibly stressful). I mean, once we made up our minds my daughter was indeed talking about a past life, we haven´t doubted her. Once we started accepting that we HAD to listen (as painful as it might be), I think things have started flowing... And it is getting less shocking I guess... She did mention el papo in the afternoon several times, so it´s not like she´s over it. I´m sure it´s a process...


Ok, enough for now. Thanks to EVERYONE for all your support and prayers, every bit helps.


much love goes to each of you,


sofia

Sofia,


I'm glad you took your daughter to a healer. She gave you some good advice, even though she wasn't totally on board with past lives.


ALWAYS acknowledge what a child is saying about a past life. Enter their reality and acknowledge what they're saying. That will help keep the flow of memory open so they can express more.


Souls choose or gravitate to a family based on what they need. In your daughter's case, I think because of your husband's and mother-in-law's experiences, you recognized that what she is talking about, and there is natural empathy to her situation. (She chose wisely!) I think that sometimes a soul is drawn to a family because of family patterns--a matching energetic pattern to feelings or experience.


I like your approach of repeating your story to your daughter when she was relaxed in the bath. (Please re-read the "Blake" chapter in my first book. It might help you.) You entered her reality and tweaked it talking about everyone dying. You said she liked it, but wasn't convinced. As I said in my private email to you, which I will now share: I think her memory is so intense, it has to come up gradually, or it would be completely overwhelming. So my suggestion would be to let her tell her story at her own pace. The climax of her story is probably going to be her past life death. I would wait until she gets to that point and see what she says. If she needs help, you might ask her, "What happens then?" I've heard of other children who remembered their traumatic deaths and spontaneously started talking about heaven or the after-life, and then they matter-of-factly say that they came back as a baby. Some kids remember being in the womb. Full circle. That gives them the completion or closure they need. Since this death is so traumatic, she might need your assistance in getting to that point and understanding that she came back to another body, that whatever happened is over. Just see how it plays out. It might get very intense towards the end. There might be a catharsis (an emotional release) she needs.


If your storytelling (or re-scripting) helped her, you'll know by a change in her tone tomorrow, I would imagine. It may work. But if you said she didn't seem convinced, she might need to keep telling her story until she gets to the death.


I wonder if the dress somehow triggered her memory. Anything--even something as insignificant as a dress--can trigger a child's past life memory. Her insistence on wearing the dress could be some kind of re-enactment of that life. Sometimes children will re-enact a past life through their play activities, or dress, or food preferences, or behaviors, etc. I think that the dress has significance in her memory of her past.


This is very interesting. Sofia, you're helping all of us by sharing this.

Hydrolod, you can only compare methods with each other if they referred to the same issue. Jim is a scientist at the University of Virginia doing academic research so it is ridiculous to assume Carol's method that aims at treating trauma has the potential to "work" for his goals. Carol, Jim said explicitly your methods worked in the Leininger case (his new book). He emphasizes your role in the case, by the way, in case it might matter to some individuals here on the forum.

Thank you Sofia, for posting your journey with your daughter. I've been reading, but have not commented until now.


I kinda wish that I had parents like you and your husband and someone like Carol around back when I was a kid and dealing with those night terrors. But that was back in the 1960's and 70's and no one was doing anything like this, back then. I only got to the source of the night terrors in the last few years and now feel comfortable with it.


Keep up the good and loving work with your daughter.

sofiajt said:

Ok, so I decided to give her a warm bath in her blue baby tub, she´s too big for it but she loves it. And she has a thing for the color blue which the therapist said it was a good thing and it was ok to encourage it (does anyone know why? i forgot to ask her).

Click to expand...

The forum has a . . .


Blue Light Thread Here


I am a big fan of the color blue, too.


Keep up the good work! No one knows your child the way you do. It sounds like you already know what to do, and when.

My daughter is doing better!


dear friends,


I am happy to report that it´s been like 2 days and 3 nights that my daughter has been doing better. Her therapy session happened on Tuesday and Wednesday PM she had her "last" strong episode in which a work friend reminded her of someone or triggered a memory and she started crying hysterically (she is not someone who cries a lot). Needless to say, I am going to keep her away from this work buddy just in case... Not because I don't want her to remember but who knows...


At nights she has been doing much much better, and has only mentioned el papo a couple times. She is not going through her past life trances anymore.


I was telling Carol in a private email that she even tried to use her "fear'' to manipulate her parents into giving her french fries instead of juice. "Mami, I'm afraid of the juice, I want french fries!" hahaha, oh really? She's done that a couple times already to try to get her way, and we're just loving it.


So, this is not to say ''she's over it'', I'm totally aware of that, but I think this major crisis is behind us... For one thing, at least, I am definitely convinced of past lives.


What helped? I guess everything. Us opening up. Carol's book and counseling. The support of all of you here (thanks again... I don't even dare tellilng my mom or brother, for fear that it will stigmatize her). The reiki session and the story I told her. I think that really did the trick, for now. Some day maybe she'll get back into it and want to talk about her death on her own... I'm going to be ready.


Carol has asked me to write more details of our story here, and I promise to do so soon. I hope it helps other parents.


big hugs all around,


sofia