Were I female in a past life?

Hi Tang,


Very good post!


D.One,


I actually think your chances of being female in your next life are very high. :thumbsup: I previously set forth some links to Stevenson's research on this subject. It seems to indicate that cross-gender lives are the exception (rather than the rule) for most people. (I don't believe he is the only one to come to this conclusion). There is also a lot to indicate that if we do not exactly "choose" the trials we face in each life we may still be able to "refuse" to take a particular life if it does not suit us. It seems that we choose a life like we choose a course at college--for what we can learn, though in this context the lessons tend to be spiritual and relational rather than the type we learn in school. Occasional cross-gender lives apparently broaden knowledge, empathy, etc. You may have just learned--in this life--that you'd rather not seek to broaden your "horizons" in this particular way in the future OMG, and I don't blame you! My sense is that it is not absolutely necessary, though it may slow you down a bit in getting where we all seem to be heading. OTOH, there may be alternative ways to gain the same virtues and traits, so maybe it will never be a problem. Anyhow, though we may all hesitate to say more than we know for sure, I'm pretty sure you will get what you are wishing for in terms of being female in your next life. I think many here would also agree, but once again, the usual caveat: we can only give opinions, not predict the future--especially when your future may involve choices you might make when you are no longer "in the flesh" and may have a completely different perspective on the matter.


Cordially,


S&S


PS--You may enjoy (and get something out of) reading Deborah's story, which covers some of the things we are talking about here. I think it also speaks to the possibilities--and dangers--of getting what you wish for in terms of future lives:


http://debbiebrayma9.wix.com/debbiebrayman#!table-of-contents/c1pz

It does look like we have all agreed that if you want to have a female body in your next life - then that is what you will almost certainly have.


I guess the "worst case analysis" from your viewpoint is that when you are through with this life and are there on The Other Side discussing a possible next life - then you could just do exactly the same as I will be doing personally and literally refuse to reincarnate ever again. The question of what sex your body would be in another life wouldn't arise then anyway.


Everything I've ever read about reincarnation says that there are several possible choices of body we can make and, if none of the bodies meet your specification (ie female) - then it makes logical sense to refuse to choose any of them and stay living on The Other Side.


BTW - I'm not familiar with some of your terminology. What is a CIS female? Am I correct in assuming that means someone who is born into a female body and accepts the sex of the body they have (or, as you might phrase it, was born into the correct sex body)? That being whether, like myself, they aren't particularly bothered about what it is on the one hand OR they are happy with that sex and glad they were born into one of that sex iyswim.

Ceridwen said:

It does look like we have all agreed that if you want to have a female body in your next life - then that is what you will almost certainly have.

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I'm almost certain I will too and even that brings me a degree of happiness.

Ceridwen said:

I guess the "worst case analysis" from your viewpoint is that when you are through with this life and are there on The Other Side discussing a possible next life - then you could just do exactly the same as I will be doing personally and literally refuse to reincarnate ever again. The question of what sex your body would be in another life wouldn't arise then anyway.

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Actually, my "worse case analysis" would be coming back with another male life. But just out of curiosity, why do you not want to return?

Ceridwen said:

Everything I've ever read about reincarnation says that there are several possible choices of body we can make and, if none of the bodies meet your specification (ie female) - then it makes logical sense to refuse to choose any of them and stay living on The Other Side.

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I'm going to do my own personal research on reincarnation but I hope we really do have that kind of leeway. I'm so used to believing that the God I don't believe in decides what body and gender we have that I am not ready to believe anything else.


I really didn't want to sound nitpicky but I did want my female body to look a certain way.

Ceridwen said:

BTW - I'm not familiar with some of your terminology. What is a CIS female? Am I correct in assuming that means someone who is born into a female body and accepts the sex of the body they have (or, as you might phrase it, was born into the correct sex body)? That being whether, like myself, they aren't particularly bothered about what it is on the one hand OR they are happy with that sex and glad they were born into one of that sex iyswim.

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Yeah, a cis person, male or female, is a person who identifies with the sex they were born.

To answer your question - ie the reason I don't intend to return to Earth.


As I say - only half jokingly - the answer is = because I'm not a masochist.


I appreciate there are many millions of people on Earth with a "worse deal" than I have personally. I was born in Britain into a reasonably okay body to parents without much money (but it could have been even worse). My parents are different to me in a variety of ways - but they are basically responsible type people (ie not the type to get up to criminal acts, take drugs, generally neglect their children).


So - life could have been an awful lot worse. I could have been born into a disabled body, born a woman in a Middle Eastern or African country, born to feckless irresponsible parents.


So I certainly didn't "draw the shortest straw" by any manner of means. Though, on the other hand, I could have been born with a beautiful super-healthy body to parents who were both loving and rich and in one of the most advanced societies on the planet (that would be one of the Scandinavian countries then imo).


But - even if I'd got the "best deal on the planet" I doubt very much I would want to come back again. The reason being that I have had plenty of problems of various descriptions in this life and wouldn't describe my life currently as "plain sailing/everything nicely sorted out" and obviously am aware that there could be more problems to come further down the line (which I'm obviously doing my best to avoid...but the risk is there).


Add the fact that I can see huge huge numbers of people on the planet (probably the vast majority to be truthful) have noticeably worse problems than I do.


So - yep my decision not to reincarnate boils down to I can see quite clearly how difficult life on earth is and how high the risk of awful stuff happening is (you've only got to look at how warlike many of the human race still areOMG) and the question is more "Why on earth would I want to return to Earth? I'm not that daft." is how I look at it.


It may (I don't know) take me longer to "progress" towards my maximum personal development by not going through the "crash course" that is Earth ever again - but I figure that's a small price to pay to avoid Earth's problems. Anyway - who says its a given that we must progress anyway? I might just decide to stay at exactly the level of development I'm at now (whatever that is...). No reason why not to after all. It's not a "Must" to progress - it's a personal choice. We, in the last generation or two in the West have learnt to believe in self-determination (ie WE decide how our lives will be - and then try the best we can to get them that way). So - that right to self-determination means we have the right to decide whether we actually wish to progress at super-speed, progress at slow speed or not bother to progress at all.

Hi Ceridwen,


I sympathize, but sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. DivOne has been advised that she may change her mind when the time comes (though she seems very definite that she won't--and I believe her). You may also change your mind when you are no longer on this plane (which is also part of self-determination), especially after a century or two of "vacation" time and even more so if things on this planet are noticeably better by that time.


Your situation is not like DivOne's, which can be improved in one simple way--being born female (which makes lots of choices for future lives available). You might have to wait a long time for things to line up on all the factors you are looking for. But you may finally get an opportunity for a much better life in a much better time--especially since you don't seem willing to settle for anything less. So, you might want to keep that in mind.


Cordially,


S&S


PS--I agree with your take on "life" overall. I'll definitely be glad to finish my course of study/development and "graduate" --whatever that entails.

I see your point that all factors might line up for a good life somewhere along the line over the next hundreds?/thousands? of years that Earth will presumably remain habitable. It is always possible.


However, my reading of recorded history leads me to think it is extremely unlikely to say the least that there would be a good/peaceful/equal/etc/etc society to incarnate in that would stay that way for long enough to me to live a life from 0 to 80 (or whatever age). The odds are extremely poor. There may possibly have been periods of time long enough to get through a whole life comfortably back before recorded history - but I don't reckon the chances are that good of that either.


Add the fact that - even if there were a good society to live in and it looked very stable to remain that way for some decades - there would still be the problem of possible illness occurring. The way things stand at present means there is an extremely high chance of at least one noticeable illness hitting us personally during a lifetime and many people (in Britain 20th/21st century anyway) get multiple severe illness before they are through. I cant see a miracle cure coming up somehow that will quickly and reliably cure all illness or, preferably, prevent it at the outset. I may be proved wrong - but, if I was, then the downside of that one would be everyone else on the planet using it too obviously (as they would have the right to do) and the planet getting even more overcrowded than it currently is.


I know...I know....they say you forget the pain of a life on Earth after some time on The Other Side and elect to come back again. I daresay many people do in fact. After all - look at how many women go through childbirth and, even now they now know personally what its like, have another child or more after that. You would think once would be enough to put them off for life - but nope....they do repeat the experience.


Personally - one of the reasons why I decided not to have children was I got some idea what pregnancy and childbirth were like from watching other women doing this and decided against it (and I didn't know the half of it - as there is still quite a conspiracy almost not to tell women just how bad its likely to be by those who've been through it). But - I managed to pick up enough info. about it from watching those that had gone through it to realise and decide not to personally.


Hence - I feel pretty sure I'm unlikely to have any temporary "Oh lets have another go" emotions overriding the fact that I have a logical mind with a strong amount of commonsense. A few hours of "hovering in the ether" watching what the citizens of Earth are getting up to and how many ways they are hurting each other should be quite sufficient for me to head back Home after my "viewing visit" telling myself just how lucky I am that my last life is over and I'm safely on The Other Side away from all that.:thumbsup:wine**

What is the Other Side is worse somehow? More boring, stressful, lonely, or something? I guess most of the accounts don't paint it as such, but I just wonder why people would come to earth if there was not some compelling factor.

By all accounts the 'other side' is lovely, nothing to worry about. People are reunited with their loved ones. There is no pain. There is no time. There is only 'unity' and peace.


Why then do people come back? Well, that's a tricky one. People 'just do'. Perhaps, just as in this life, their friends all start to 'leave' and they want to be together, so one by one, you follow your soul group because love is the strongest force in the universe?


Perhaps it's a bit like sleep - as lovely and all as it is to be sleeping in your nice warm bed (if you're lucky enough to have one of those) eventually you wake up and want to get on and do things in your day, even if all of those things are not always 'fun', they are things that need to be done. If you don't think this is a natural human state, try keeping a toddler in bed all day. Can't be done short of using restraints.


It's easy to speculate about these things, but hard to know for sure. Personally, if people are having a hard time and not enjoying life, and don't want to come back, my feeling is that this is a sign to them to do something about that. Is there something more worthwhile you could be doing with your time that would give you more joy? Is there someone else you can help? Is there a project that might be useful or helpful to others that you could start, however humbly? Living life only for our own gratification and pleasure is not the way to find lasting meaning and enjoyment.

Hi Tang,


I'm wondering whether there is a "big picture" thread somewhere in re the whole scheme and pattern of reincarnation. I note the differences in opinion on this board fall into certain patterns reflective of certain "Models"--school/developmental, punishment/reward, self-determined, rule determined, etc., with various combinations possible. I'm curious as to whether anyone has tried to chart out and organize the possibilities.


Cordially,


S&S


PS--I comment on this because your post posits a model I had not heard before: coming back because we're tired of rest and ready for action. Not, seemingly, because we have a purpose to fulfill, but just because rest gets boring after awhile. Not being critical here, it just makes me curious about whether all of the possibilities have been charted out and discussed anywhere.

SeaAndSky said:

Hi Tang,
PS--I comment on this because your post posits a model I had not heard before: coming back because we're tired of rest and ready for action. Not, seemingly, because we have a purpose to fulfill, but just because rest gets boring after awhile.

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That sounds like me actually, a bit of both. I need to have a purpose, even if it's to just help people on a one to one basis or even just be a regular person, taking care of my family.


I gather my position is somewhat unique though.. I'm definitely part observer, part leader, part regular joe.. I don't exist within the typical frameworks. I'm here to help, but I'm also here to enjoy myself.

SeaAndSky said:

PS--I comment on this because your post posits a model I had not heard before: coming back because we're tired of rest and ready for action. Not, seemingly, because we have a purpose to fulfill, but just because rest gets boring after awhile. Not being critical here, it just makes me curious about whether all of the possibilities have been charted out and discussed anywhere.

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This is a topic that comes up in the forum again, and again and again. Some people think that everything is pre-ordained, all part of a carefully worked out plan, and that the purpose of it all is 'personal growth' (or 'God's will' - however you conceive Her - depending on their cultural framework). They believe that is all being policed by 'someone/something' in some kind of orderly fashion.


There is certainly some evidence for a certain amount of planning, in that people talk about their life review and they talk about having a 'pre-incarnation' interview with 'the elders / guides' to discuss what they want to do next life and make various choices from a set of options presented to them (including what body they would like). After that, things are either carefully pre-ordained or 'just happen' depending on your personal views on this topic.


However, not everyone seems to go through this planning/decision making process and if they do, not always in a very organised fashion by all accounts. Personally, I think it's a bit like this life. Some people are good at planning and setting goals and sticking to them. Others ... not so much. Some people are 'renegades' and hate any kind of rules.


I personally, don't subscribe to the view that there is very much central planning or organisation going on. I think it's a lot more organic and chaotic than most people are comfortable with. The evolution of nature is certainly very organic and chaotic. Although it appears to be linear and progressive, it isn't really. There are many dead ends and blind alleys that evolution goes down. It's not a nice, purposeful, straight line at all, even if people like to think of it in that way. Some people are not comfortable with the notion of 'pointlessness' or what the Buddhists call 'emptiness' or 'nothingness'.


I personally think we're literally 'making it up as we go along'. We are free to make of our experiences what we wish and are not answerable to anyone but ourselves. Sometimes we're going in circles. Sometimes we are not 'going' anywhere. Sometimes we do indeed 'improve' from one life to the next. Sometimes we don't. But, I've always been a bit of a renegade.


These 'elders' or 'guides' have to come from somewhere. Are they people/ancestors who have lived many thousands of lives, and through their great virtues and wisdom, earned the privilege of staying in 'heaven' permanently in order to help others? This is certainly one idea that the Buddhist system would seem to support. They talk about "Boddhi Satvas" who could choose not to reincarnate, due to their level of evolution, but instead choose to reincarnate in order to help others on their paths towards enlightenment / evolution.


I'm not sure if the option of lounging about in heaven doing nothing for all eternity is offered (or accepted) all that often.

tanguerra said:

There is certainly some evidence for a certain amount of planning, in that people talk about their life review and they talk about having a 'pre-incarnation' interview with 'the elders / guides' to discuss what they want to do next life and make various choices from a set of options presented to them (including what body they would like). After that, things are either carefully pre-ordained or 'just happen' depending on your personal views on this topic.


However, not everyone seems to go through this planning/decision making process and if they do, not always in a very organised fashion by all accounts. Personally, I think it's a bit like this life. Some people are good at planning and setting goals and sticking to them. Others ... not so much.

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I think that's where the rule and law almost, of free will comes in to play. There's no "police" making us do anything we don't want to do.

tanguerra said:

I personally, don't subscribe to the view that there is very much central planning or organisation going on. I think it's a lot more organic and chaotic than most people are comfortable with. The evolution of nature is certainly very organic and chaotic. Although it appears to be linear and progressive, it isn't really. There are many dead ends and blind alleys that evolution goes down. It's not a nice, purposeful, straight line at all, even if people like to think of it in that way. Some people are not comfortable with the notion of 'pointlessness' or what the Buddhists call 'emptiness' or 'nothingness'.


I personally think we're literally 'making it up as we go along'. We are free to make of our experiences what we wish and are not answerable to anyone but ourselves. Sometimes we're going in circles. Sometimes we are not 'going' anywhere. Sometimes we do indeed 'improve' from one life to the next. Sometimes we don't.

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I think because largely, it's up to us to be able to find our own meaning in life and I think sadly, most people have quite a bit of trouble with that.

tanguerra said:

These 'elders' or 'guides' have to come from somewhere. Are they people/ancestors who have lived many thousands of lives, and through their great virtues and wisdom, earned the privilege of staying in 'heaven' permanently in order to help others? This is certainly one idea that the Buddhist system would seem to support. They talk about "Boddhi Satvas" who could choose not to reincarnate, due to their level of evolution, but instead choose to reincarnate in order to help others on their paths towards enlightenment / evolution.


I'm not sure if the option of lounging about in heaven doing nothing for all eternity is offered (or accepted) all that often.

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I think to an extent, the piece of the puzzle we are missing is why would anyone want to come here, if they didn't have to? Surely someone must have said "you don't get to sit up here and be lazy all day, you need to go down there and learn to appreciate what you have".


So I think at some point, the process of reincarnation is out of our control. We then eventually grow and wander about until we've discovered ourselves and the overall direction we want to take with our lives.


And I think absolutely, there are people that stay on that side to help and there are also people that come down here to help as well, or even do both! I really love that episode of the Simpson's where Marge is talking to some Christian scientist parents who won't take their kid to the doctor and she says "how do you know that scientists and doctors and nurses aren't god's answers to people's prayers?"

Hi Totoro,


I'm not so sure about the "no police" thing--this all seems to be a matter of context and degree. There are different rules and consequences that dictate different consequences for "wrong" actions in different contexts in this world. In the criminal context you will bring in the strong arm of the state for enforcement of consequences. So, there is a line beyond which the authorities at that level have to be dealt with. However, we have other authorities that have to be dealt with in other areas, such as jobs, education, etc. where we can also suffer consequences.


We also have differing levels of freedom in different contexts. I may be able to dodge a certain class with a certain teacher, change my job, take a sick day, just play sick and go to the beach, be mean to someone, or even avoid going to work or school altogether, but I may not be able to dodge having to stand before a judge if I shoot someone with murderous hatred in my heart.


I think there are definite analogies in terms of the areas we are speaking about. If you fail a "life" class you may just have to take it over, or you may be able to advance in some other way towards your goals. All in keeping with the rules governing that context. However, different contexts may bring into play different rules.


I'm thinking in particular about one of the cases I read about in Newton, where a soul was responsible for mass murder and would, if I am recalling correctly, have to accept being barred from further incarnations or some harsh consequences meant to rehabilitate it if it ever wished to continue with incarnations.


To me, it appeared to be a situation where the protection of others was brought into play. The game can get pretty rough down here, and that seems to be part of the action (or lesson plan), but go too far and you'll get thrown out of the game or suffer some other serious consequences. Maybe time in the penalty box (if you're a hockey fan). I hate to put it in too much of a sporting context and talk about "excessive roughness" and "egregious fouls", but you get the idea.


Cordially,


S&S


PS--I should also comment that, from my readings, it appears that the consequences a soul may "suffer" in even the worst cases appear to be aimed at the protection of others and/or the rehabilitation of the soul in question. I don't see a lot of evidence for retribution (or "pay-back") as a primary motivator or rule for consequences.

I meant in the most average way about the "police" comment, is that for most part, once we reach a point, we're given free reign and after that, our interactions with the other side, guides etc are more along the lines of friends, counselors and therapy sessions. I didn't mean in extreme cases and I wouldn't disagree with anything you said as there has to be people or a protocol to step in and provide some structure when needed.


I just meant, as I'm used to people fearing, that everything we do is micromanaged, "recorded" and that they'll have to face and ultimate judgement at some point. When in reality, it's no different than simply phoning a parent or close friend for some advice. I think, on average, that the other side is aware that within certain boundaries, people aren't going to change until they've reached some of those organic dead ends and wrong turns you were talking about. I do believe that there is an objective truth towards life and spirituality and we're all working towards it and I just meant that rather than a system of police and judges out there, we're instead helped, nudged, comforted and guided until we discover it on our own.

First of let me say I'm in the same boat. I had this strong sense of reincarnation since I was only 2 or 3 years old. I didn't even know the word, just the concept, I knew it was real. I wanted to be a girl and still do, it bothers me every single minute of every single day. It's hell, I know, but I'm not doing anything like surgery or even being feminine because I know I'll get it right next life and I used to think about suicide but I have a great family who loves, I'm well educated, well-traveled, multi-lingual and I believe I'm the way I am now to fulfill some sort of mission and ending it would just reap bad karma. Perhaps part of the suffering is what will make my soul stronger.


So, after my very young memories of reincarnation faded I was an atheist for a long, but had several paranormal encounters which are not explainable by any scientific means. In the past few years I've read so many books on reincarnation that I'm quite certain it's real, not just based on the evidence but on my own experiences as well. Scientists are baffled by gender dysphoria and I find their reasons rather weak. Instead I believe it is our soul's gender preference and life in the "wrong" gender which causes it. I believe it is said 10% or so of the population which is LGBT, Ian Stevenson also estimates that's the approximate amount of souls which change gender. Coincidence??


Hang in there, make the best of your life. Even if you live to 100, in the grand scheme of things that's just a small blip of time. That's how I look at it. I also, thought I don't want to live any longer than 50 or so, but I'm going to stay here as long as I make it, whether it is 40 or 100. I know what I'm saying is easier said than done but it helps me get through each day.

Hello TheDivineOne,


I know how you feel. I was designated male at birth and I have gender dysphoria, physically and socially. I'm 29 and have been trying to live low-key, pursuing subtle androgyny instead of transition. Sometimes I feel androgynous and sometimes female. The female times are hellish. I am very confused.


Like you I get suicidal (please spare the advice, all, thank you) and cannot bear the idea of reincarnating as male. I would say I'm looking forward to reincarnating as female, but honestly I'm tired of life and do not wish to reincarnate. I don't feel I have a choice about the last part. I relate to your feeling of living a prison sentence.


I've read Michael Newton and Brian Weiss, and they both list case studies where people switch genders between incarnations. They say the soul has no gender. I've had personal experiences where I've had a female astral body and a female physical body, through dreams. I know others who have experienced the same. But don't trust anything but your own memory.


I hope you haven't left this forum already. I'd like to talk with you about this if you're open. Please PM.


P.S. I welcome anyone to share personal experience, and would like to speak with anyone using regression to get to the bottom of gender dysphoria. I don't care to discuss the issue with cisgender people who do not have firsthand experience. Thank you.

Hi Lutenist,


Welcome to the forum. I'd prefer not to start out our acquaintance with a critique, but I find your "cisgender" categorization of people to be more than a bit muddled in this context. There are people on this board who have made it clear that they have experienced cross-gendered incarnations and that they are experiencing some degree of gender dysphoria in this life, and there are those who have experienced cross-gendered PLs and have not stated this. Some of the latter may not want to say anything about the matter (dysphoria or not), some may not be experiencing issues because they are "in" the "right" gender at the moment, and some simply don't believe that it is a relevant issue. If you pre-filter based on willingness to make public what is for some a personal matter, you are eliminating a lot of possible good responses from good people. The same is true of those who are not currently experiencing dysphoria though they can recall cross-gender PLs. Is the last group merely in the right body during this lifetime? Are these feelings being blocked somehow, just as many PL aspects are blocked? I don't know, but I do know that there are many extremely wise people on this board, and you seem to be striving to exclude a lot of meaningful comment and advice based on a filter that has very little relevance in a context that considers people to be much more than merely their current physical manifestation, cisgendered or not.


Cordially,


S&S


PS--I don't speak where I think it would do harm, but I won't refrain just to satisfy someone's preconceptions.

I can empathize with the OP to a certain extent. I was born female and have never felt as comfortable as I would like.. When I was younger I dressed in boys clothing and now I shop in the men's section. I also got along better with other boys. I now know that this is because in my most previous incarnation I was a man.. I don't think that everyone can choose their gender or even their life. Especially if there's karma they need to resolve. I'm not saying changing genders is punishment but it could be part your life's lesson..

SeaAndSky: It's interesting what you said about being barred from further incarntions. It goes along with what I remember happening after I died in my most previous past life; one that I shared on here.. I recall it being dark wherever I was and telepathically listening to two spirits conversing about how I shouldn't be able to come back as I had broken too many rules.

Totoro said:

I think to an extent, the piece of the puzzle we are missing is why would anyone want to come here, if they didn't have to?

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Love?

EternalAgony said:

I can empathize with the OP to a certain extent. I was born female and have never felt as comfortable as I would like.. When I was younger I dressed in boys clothing and now I shop in the men's section. I also got along better with other boys. I now know that this is because in my most previous incarnation I was a man.. I don't think that everyone can choose their gender or even their life. Especially if there's karma they need to resolve. I'm not saying changing genders is punishment but it could be part your life's lesson..
..

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People change gender all the time from one life to the next. It is very normal and is not in anyway a 'punishment' in my view. It's just what is. I know societies make a fuss about this, but I don't think the soul has a 'gender'.

Hi EA,

I'm on the other side from Tang in a rather long debate on gender on the board, and believe that the soul/entity does have gender (though what that means at different levels of existence may be vastly different). Interestingly, there seems to be a whole lot more gender dysphoria on the board than in the general population. I think this is because "remembering" is often the result of discordant emotions/reactions that seem to have no connection to the present life. Cross-gender incarnations (as you have observed) seem to be associated with such emotions/reactions and seem to lead people in this direction.

Also, I have long worried that I was too hard with you in your prior thread discussing a putative PL as Bonhoeffer. Please accept my apologies.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--Tang--Love would be the thing that would bring one back, but I'm not sure that the love in question is always of the romantic sort.

SeaAndSky said:

PS--Tang--Love would be the thing that would bring one back, but I'm not sure that the love in question is always of the romantic sort.

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I think we like to hang out with our soul groups. Perhaps we would get lonely in 'heaven' without all our friends?

I am female and believe I was male in a few previous lives. I had quite a few vivid military dreams over different periods of history; French Revolution, Army in World War 1, American GI World War 2, and American in the Vietnam War (the latter 3 being 3 short lives lived in quick succession). I had a deep phobia that I would die by the time I was 24/25 but, obviously didn't because I'm still here hanging on at 42! Strangely, my military dreams stopped around this time. I've always felt like I was in the wrong 'uniform' in this life. It felt very painful when I was younger and I always felt like 'something was fundamentally wrong and I don't fit in socially or physically' and ocassionally I verged on suicide. But, as I've gotten older it's been a little easier to live with because I've wondered about reincarnation and pondered how this fits into my own life.

I believe I was probably your usual dyed in the wool male mysogynist who no doubt treated women terribly, like those kinds of men do. The only way for me to become a more evolved 'man' and to fully comprehend who, why, and what women are fundamentally, was to become a woman myself. I'm beginning to wonder if my own mother is part of my negative karmic cycle. From the day I was born she has disliked me, but oddly, she hates it when others like me and will do what she can to destroy any relations I build with others. I wonder if I treated her like property in a past life? I had always looked to her for love and approval and now know I will never recieve it. But, I do not hate her - I just want to move on and evolve. It's a strange energy that I don't fully understand but hope I can break out of it, even without her input, so we can both move on spiritually?

I didn't grow up with strong women who looked on both male and females as equal (boys were looked on as the better species than girls in my family) and when I was put in a female box with your typical cultural ideaologies of the time that; girls have to do the housework, girls will never earn the same money as men because, well, they're girls, girls are not allowed to go on the front line, they can't box or fly helicopters or be professional footballers - I'd be soooo furious about it. I thought and sometimes would say, 'How dare you! Who the hell do you think you are?!' I wonder if the male privilege that was 'my birthright' in previous lives bubbled up to the surface. For the life of me, I just couldn't understand why boys were allowed the fun and girls had to run round cleaning up after them. I felt a huge disservice!

So, for me personally, I feel what I've learned in this life, even though I am still not completely comfortable in my female 'uniform' and I haven't had a great female role model, is women rock and are incredible. I want to be born a man in the next life to a family of strong nurturing women who will make me the best version of myself. I feel the men I have met who have had a strong positive female influence on them are the best men there is. They 'get it' when it comes to understanding women, being a husband, a friend, and a father, I think, because they understand both their masculine and feminine energies within and are very comfortable with them. And they have a live and let live attitude too. If somebody finds themselves in a vulnerable position in society; support them. Don't denigrate them. They are part of our own soul family. In my opinion, these men are wonderful role models in society too and we need more of these types as well as these great women to further move society along the evolutionary scale of consciousness, as well as individually. Mysogynists and homophobes (you will find they are always both sides of the same coin and something to do with despising anything that has female energies/qualities that they just cannot relate too, and usually men) they bring out a primal disgust in me be they male or female. I think it's extremely important for both genders to emotionally support each other equally, be it as individuals or in our collective society, if we are to move forward spiritually. I'm thinking I probably never understood this in previous lives.

Totoro said 'I think to an extent, the piece of the puzzle we are missing is why would anyone want to come here, if they didn't have to?' to which tanguerra replied 'love'. To that I wholeheartedly agree.

Yes, it may well be deeply masochistic to keep coming back here into these lives which can be problematic and deeply stressful, but I think that is the reason. We iron out one or two problems in one life that we will be equipped to deal with in the next life - only to have another set of problems to contend with until we are so fully realized we are able to manifest heaven on earth. Pure beautiful consciousness, which at the heart of all of us and the unvierse is who we are eternally. A diamond doesn't come about by sitting on it's arse and watching life flow by (yes, I know it's not really alive). It comes about from millions of years of elements and pressure compressing it within its environmental construct. Every year of it's life (if it were a living thing) is as important as the last in making each and every individual diamond, which is, it's fully realized form. I believe this is the same journey for the soul.

If reincarnation does exist, then human life, as dreadful and horrific and stressful as it can get, I believe, is an onwards and upwards cycle both for us individually and collectively to something beautiful but it will take a long time for some of us. But, what's the rush? We are only competing with ourselves. I believe everything happens for a reason. Even the nasty, traumatic stuff. Sometimes when I've thought I'd rather not be here, I try and remember something like, 'You might not want to live but the fact your heart is beating, you have consciousness, you of all the many millions of potential lives from your father's spermatozoa that could have come into being instead of you, and YOU won the mother of all marathons - You are here for a reason. You just don't know what the hell the mission is! That is the undoing of you and your current frustrations and you need to learn what it is.' That's what I'm trying to figure out for myself; what my mission is. If there is no such thing as reincarnation then Christ, most of us are going through a tsunami of emotional crap that just doesn't make one iota of sense!

I think it was Martin Luther King who was quoted to have said, 'The moral arc of the universe is long and it always points to justice.'

I would like to believe the same for the eternal soul, with justice, love and compassion being our universal targets which unifies us all.

Sorry for the huuuge ramble

Well said Oceanlabyrinth, you appear to have accepted the factors associated with reincarnation and I applaud your position. Welcome to the forum!

KenJ said:

Well said Oceanlabyrinth, you appear to have accepted the factors associated with reincarnation and I applaud your position. Welcome to the forum!

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Thank you KenJ

It's nice to have found somewhere where I can read other comments that is as 'out there' as my thoughts and be able to sound off without family and friends looking at me like I'm some muppet who has been drinking the Kool-aid and spent the night hugging some trees!

Hi Ocean,

Welcome aboard! I'm pretty leery about judging past eras by current standards. We all (whether we were male or female then or now) thought a lot differently about things back then. E.g., go back to Ancient Rome, and slavery was commonplace, and certainly not a moral stigma for the slave owner. That being said (though the word had probably not been invented yet in its current sense), some would have been thought "misogynistic" back in the 50s-60s, as wife beaters and such, but most men and women felt pretty much the same when it came to male/female roles. My current lifetime extends back into these periods, and I can tell you that "them women's libbers" were thought to be a bunch of crazy "bra burners" by my mother, aunts, sisters, female friends and etc. even more than by me (who was a bit more of a hippy at the time). Actually, it seems to me that women have generally tended to be more "traditional" in my memory (and from what I can make out from my reading, etc.) than men.

Times change, and attitudes as well. So, if you're having to balance out here during this lifetime, it may mean you were a real meanie in terms of women back then. But I doubt it was because your attitude was "not modern" in terms of women, and merely reflected the attitudes of the times. Being female this time around could just mean that it was time for a different perspective, especially after playing the macho soldier role in a variety of lifetimes.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--Sorry about the life problems and frustrations of this lifetime. We all face that kind of thing one way or another, but it can really hurt when it involves someone close like your problem with your mother. I have to wonder what is going on there in terms of PL relationships?

Thanks S&S

What you've said has made a lot of sense when you put male and female behaviours into their historical context. Even by our cultural Westernized standards, Rome looks utterly barbaric. And yet, at the time it was ahead of itself and perfectly 'normal'. Same when you read the Homeric epics and their heroes' attitudes to women and property.

Perhaps I'm colouring my PL views from my current relationship with my mother and assumed she's been there throughout? She's narcissistic and does it in such a covert way that I can never pin point or prove to others what she is doing, a behaviour I now know called gas-lighting. I do still have a semblence of a relationship with her (currently looking after her pets whilst she's away) but, it's healthier for me to keep a distance amost of the time. I just don't understand where all that ugly energy comes from because her reaction to me is not from any action I've done to her - not in this life. I've been in and out of therapy but it hasn't really cleared away the 'deadwood', so to speak. So, I'm wondering if it goes way way back over other life times?

She confessed to my friend last year she knows when she's hurting me and my friend asked, well why don't you stop if you know what it's doing to her. She just flippantly said, 'I can't'. Which in narcissistic terms is, 'I don't want to. It empowers me.' If I try to broach our problems she either gets very evasive or shouts 'how dare you!'. It's got to the point I'm not too bothered about it anymore because I know what she is and I can't change it. For years I tried to make her see I wasn't bad. So, I'm glad I gave it up - but, I need to change myself and move on. Her behaviour has blighted my life. I've had depression on and off since I hit my teens due to all of this.

I'm looking at how I have related to men/women in my life and I find it's always been pretty easy to get on with men (I'm often classed as one of the lads) and women either like me or hate me for some reason. I had a great relationship with my grandmother when I was young. Had a really good group of friends at an all girls high school in my teens for a couple of years. Had a good friend in my twenties and my current friend is much older and more of a mother/grandmother figure to me. I think I come across to people as quite intense when I get to know them but, I thought it was always down to going to so many schools as a kid (went to 30 schools in 10 years from age 5-15!!) i.e; you cut the fair weather talk out and get to the nitty gritty of a potential friend's likes and dislikes and what makes them tick and how you fit into a group and you have a laugh. It works as a kid. But, I think it frightens off the adults and it has caused quite a bit of distress for me because I find it very difficult to connect with people just talking about stuff that seemingly to me, doesn't make sense of life, like they are living it in a shallow manner and don't question anything. Why should they? They quite rightly assume I need to lighten the hell up and should stop being so deep trying to find the meaning of things that they deem silly or boring.

I tried one of Brian Weiss' meditations last night and nothing came to light but it's early days. I'd like to try a hypnotherapist at some point but not until I've done some work on myself and to see if I can go under with one of the meditations. I'm trying meditation generally because I have such a monkey mind anyway and in the couple of weeks I've stuck with it, I think it's made an impact. It's nice that my thoughts are not constantly connecting into my emotions and lighting them up like a christmas tree and making me anxious For a long time I was deathly afraid of death itself but it's eased off a little but it's one of the reasons i'd like to connect with my past lives. Just to put my mind and anxieties at rest and work on myself. Funnily enough, my younger brother has the same phobia of death. When he was a small kid of about 7 or 8 he used to freak out about dreams of being a female prostitute in Victorian England and having his neck sliced open and left to die . Even though I have difficult members in my family we're all open to the idea of reincarnation and the paranormal and I've thought about it on and off forever. But since this Christmas past I've suddenly become obssessed with it. Maybe I'm being nudged forward to do some work on myself?

I can't edit either of my previous posts unfortunately but i wanted to add -- I can't wait for that feeling of having been born female in my next life so i can have that sense of finally being back in my right gender.

TheDivineOne said:

I can't edit either of my previous posts unfortunately but i wanted to add -- I can't wait for that feeling of having been born female in my next life so i can have that sense of finally being back in my right gender.

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Hi TDO.

Several of your posts have been hidden because they contain content that is not permited under the forum guidelines. Please respect the forum guidelines and refrain from posting about suicide.

Thanks.