An usual past life

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories for teenagers' started by Leeoooo, May 3, 2021.

  1. Leeoooo

    Leeoooo New Member

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    Hello, I have decided to come here in hopes of getting some clearance as this has been on my mind for quite a while now, my whole life in fact. I will leave a warning though, my story is deep and rather dark, so read this with caution.

    I've always had small pieces that I remember but it wasn't important since it was too young to make out anything but I think it was around June last year, I kept getting these awful nightmares night after night; one night was extremely vivid though and it felt as though I was literally concious in this dream. In this dream, there was this demon thing, my room was black and grey and everything was just monochrome- this demon came up to me and led me into another room where these girls were, I don't remember how many there were but I estimate around 5-8 , this demon told me to kill of them, honestly I was so terrified that I did it. After they had perished, their limbs started turning into blades and their corpses were chasing me so I ran out outside and I forced myself to wake up then because I was genuinely horrified. Nonetheless, Since then I've been getting more and more signs indicating that... I was a murderer. Obviously I don't have those intentions in this life I think it's absolutely disgusting but it just becomes more and more clear since I have this huge fascination of seeing people get cut open, or injured, I can't stomach it since I hate blood but I can't stop watching those nasty documentarie. So just recently, I decided enough is enough,and I attempted a past life regression session. I remember I had these expensive black shoes on which were really shiny, it was probably new, but definitely expensive, I was in an alleyway and behind me was this wall which was a dead end, so I walked forward and it looked like Europe, like the Victorian era Europe. It was extremely odd; one side was dark as night with rain pouring down and the other side was sunny and very bright. I went to the end of the alleyway and saw all these people walking and selling their food in the marked. There were carraiges riding through and it just seemed like an ordinary day in the Victorian era. For some reason, I got really nervous and walked back down the ally way, that is where someone interrupted me and I went out of the hypnosis.

    But what could this mean? Was I really this bad person that I believe I was? If so, is this life my "second chance"?
     
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  2. Cyrus

    Cyrus Senior Registered

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    Hi, everybody. Hi, Leo.

    To my mind, what we have here, are two different things.

    What you saw under hypnosis might have been a memory of some of your PLs, a usual life, nothing very special.

    And the nightmare, is, as I see it, just a nightmare, generated time ago genetically or by some traumatic experience, surely in this life, maybe some horror films you took too close to your heart, maybe combined with some secret fantasies you have deep in your subconscious. But it's not a PL, PLs have no magic elements in them, however exotic, they are usual ordinary lives, though lived some time ago.

    Magic elements mean some fantasy, some secret - maybe even erotic - desires, that somehow got planted in your subconscios. A case for a good psychiatrist, nothing to do with reincarnations.

    IMHO.
     
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  3. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    Welcome to the forum, Leeoooo!

    Thank you for sharing your experience.

    As for what it could mean, what do YOU think it means?

    It is possible, of course, that you WERE a murderer in a past life, but your dream and what you got during that regression also could be more symbolic.

    In case you did kill people in a past life, no one here will blame you. Most here remember at least one life where they did things they aren't proud of.

    As for symbolism, there is the concept of the Shadow. Parts of ourselves we suppress and often aren't even aware of, because we have "learned" to judge them as inacceptable. Not necessarily something as dramatic or "evil" as wanting to kill people, can be something way more harmless, even something that isn't so bad at all.

    It's interesting how you saw the bright side and dark side, literally, the Victorian Era is a very good example, by the way. Gentleman with their fancy hats and walking sticks, politeness... on the other hand, children working themselves to death in factories, inhuman conditions in asylums, and so on. Suppressed sexuality. Severe punishment for inobedient children.

    Also interesting that you saw a demon. Like, you did not want to kill the girls, but were forced to in your dream.

    Of course, the name "Jack the Ripper" came to my mind, but this doesn't necessarily mean that you were him. First, there surely were other murderers in that era. Second, your experience not necessarily means that you were a murderer at all.
    Maybe it's just about the dark side of things in general and about your shadow self. Others probably can explain it better.
     
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  4. Leeoooo

    Leeoooo New Member

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    Thank you for replying to me, I really appreciate it.

    Now that I really think about it, I think the "dark" side and the "bright" side of what I saw could possibly have been a representation of my life; meaning my life was both successful, and horrible at the same time. That is how I view it, although I am still unsure if this is true.

    To further prove my point on my life being successful, while I could only see my shoes and trousers, I could already tell that I was rather posh. Possibly a noble or just a normal rich man. This part might have resembled the "bright" side. As for the gloomy side, I believe this resembles the main idea I've written in my thread.

    It's an interesting thing to think about, but it's also mentally exhausting, therefore I have decided to come here to get some peace of mind.

    I just wish I had more clearance on this. Unfortunately, I could not see my face or shadow when I was under the hypnosis, so I don't know what I looked like, all I can go on is my wealth.

    Lastly, I do believe the odd dream I had was related to this past life. It was not influenced by any horror movies or stories. I might have been forced to do heinous crimes in my past life, judging from the dream I had.
     
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  5. Speedwell

    Speedwell Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi @Leeoooo. There was one part of the description which really stood out for me:
    This is a very evocative image, yet it doesn't seem to be a literal description of an actual place. In my view, it is an indication of the choices we all face, between the dark and the light, doing good or doing harm. It seems that was a choice you faced in the past, and maybe out of curiosity, picked one of these possibilities. Also, given some of the other things you wrote, probably this choice is placed before you again in this life. Looking to the past may fill in more of the details. But it is going forward where life leads us.

    I'd say the nightmares at least were a reminder of your current-life purpose - which I hope is to walk on the bright sunny side of the street.
     
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  6. Leeoooo

    Leeoooo New Member

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    Honestly, this is actually a great response. I thought the dark and bright side resembled how my life was, but not that I think about it, it could've also resembled choices, which is interesting. I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but I walked forwards out of the alleyway to get a better view of my surroundings, however I walked back into the alleyway to the dead end where both the dark and bright side faded, although I'm not sure if that part is important.
     
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  7. Speedwell

    Speedwell Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hmm, I'm speculating a lot here, so please feel free to disregard my comments. When you say here "I walked forwards out of the alleyway to get a better view of my surroundings" it reminds me of something like launching a drone into the air, to get an overview of the area. Then walking back into the alley I think does mean something. Otherwise I guess the scene would have faded or ended before that happened. So what I'm thinking (again, feel free to ignore or disagree), is that you were walking back to your present location (metaphorically, not physically). Kind of saying, here is an overview, and then return to the current situation. Which would mean - hypothetically - that you are currently in that dark/bright place. The next move is whatever you do from now on.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2021
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  8. Leeoooo

    Leeoooo New Member

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    That could be it, I did "wake up" right after I walked back towards the dead end of the alleyway, but that was mainly because I was disturbed by someone in my surrounding at that very moment. I would have liked to see more though. But I am wondering why I did do that now; initially I thought it was because I got overwhelmed with all the people walking past and the busy streets, I was very nervous to be there.
     
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  9. Jim78

    Jim78 Probationary

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    Hi Leeooo.

    I just read your topic and it really upset me. Not because I found it creepy or anything. But because I think its a terribly brave thing for a girl your age to be so direct and honest about the darkness you struggle with within yourself.

    When I was a teen and young adult I also struggled with light and dark and now, decades later, I also have struggled with the darkness within me.

    In my experience demons are merely subconscious manifestations representing fears we all harbour that we are not consciously aware of. Therefore they are extremely disturbing.

    But remember...they are merely the monsters under your bed. The things that go bump in the night. What is real is you, everything else that manifests in those dreams are mere illusions IMO.

    Here is a link to the last post I made in a topic a while back. I think it may be of use to you:

    http://reincarnationforum.com/threads/i-have-a-big-problem.9344/#post-128915

    Just remember...fears aren't real luv. If you were this disturbed by them then that means you a decent, good person.

    Also don't forget how many horror stories are set in Victorian times. You may have struggled with light and dark in a similar experienced way in another life or your regression could represent something buried in your subconscious. Some Victorian gothic horror you read in this or another life.

    Just go easy on yourself and take good care of yourself.

    :)
     
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  10. Leeoooo

    Leeoooo New Member

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    Ah, thank you for responding to my thread so kindly. I am quite ashamed, or, well scared of opening up? But honestly this has been bothering me for so long that it has gotten to a point where it's really affecting my real life, therefore I figured it would be best to seek out some sort of help? My first intentions were to confess to my mother about it as she's a very spiritual person, but she's also the most fragile and softest person I have ever met, so I just can't tell her about this, it would either break her or just terrify her and I'd feel way too guilty.

    On the topic of my mother actually, she has told me stories of my childhood which I don't recall, as I was too young. It's probably not that relevant to the topic, but I'm wondering what you would make of it?

    When I was very young, according to my mother, ghosts were really attached to me? There was this boy who looked identical to me, as though he was my identical twin. I always just assumed he was my twin who died or something? But that doesn't make sense since I was the only child my mother conceived. Anyway, it was this boy and a few other spirits which I believe were ladies? Not sure how many. They affected my life so harshly to the point where I went mute, which is actually something I do recall. I only started speaking again at the age of 7 , mainly because I started school. Either way, my mother could vaguely sense there spirits and at times saw the identical boy and even mistaken him for me several times . When it got to the point where I went mute, supposedly because of these spirits, my mother apparently performed something, I'm guessing something similar to an exorcism? So they would leave me alone.

    I'm a very skeptical person when it comes to stuff like that since I genuinely don't remember any of that, I was too young, but whatever happened did really traumatize me to the point of mutism, that doesn't just randomly happen to a child who loved speaking before.

    Anyway, since then, weird occurrences have happened, but not very recently since I've become really skeptical, I guess I just don't take notice anymore. Funny thing is, when I became skeptical I've been getting those dreams as I described, and it really felt real, as though I was really controlling myself, it was only the only one that really "scared" me, mostly because of the murders. There were other dreams where the very same "demon" Was in them, but they weren't really doing anything just staring? So those ones didn't scare me at all.

    Oh gosh, I'm sorry for writing an entire essay, there's just so much on my mind, haha.

    I also read through your blog; this may sound weird, but I'm glad someone else truly understands as they have gone through it themselves, or similarly. But I'm also sorry you had to experience all that, I know how much of a toll it can have on your mind. It's been so year now since I had that dream, but it's still haunting me.
     
  11. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Hi Leeooo,

    Welcome. Thank you for sharing your experience. There are a lot of great reference posts on the forum and we have an excellent book section. Let us know if you need any help finding something in particular. You can also use the search tool. I hope you feel safe here. The forum is 25 years old and we have a great team. My step son stop talking at 5 years old and didn't open up until he was 9. So I can relate to your experience.
     
  12. cloud potato

    cloud potato Senior Registered

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    Welcome to the forums Leo and thank you for sharing your experiences. :)
     

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