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Assassination in Wales

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I think I should start with what seems to be my most recent past life. This, or it - however I should say it - made itself known to me mostly in a series of poweful recurring dreams that I used to have constantly when I was a very young kid. The dreams were always the exact same, except every once in a while, the dream would continue some times, and show me other little details of something I beleive that I must have witnessed in a past life. I think the thing I saw was an assassination. Basically in those dreams I had, so long ago (I think I stopped having these particular dreams around the age or eight or nine), I was a girl, perhaps a young teenager. I don't know why, but I always get the feeling that I was about thirteen years old while I was inside those dreams. I even felt that way when I was dreaming this stuff at the age of three!

In every one of these dreams, things would start out the same: I'd be awakened in the night by something, and I'd light a battered-looking tallow candle, which was pressed into a crude candle holder, and, with the candle held out a little in front of me, make my way down a very cold, stone corridor or something. In the dream, I knew that there were thick tapestries covering parts of the stone walls on either side of me, though I couldn't see them in the darkness that surrounded me. But I'd walk carefully and silently down the corridor, holding that candle - until I got to the end of the hallway, where I would automatically blow my candle out and hide directly behind this sort of stone-wall-material ledge of some sort, which was part of the wall closest to my right, and wait, and watch...

The thing I'd be watching would be this fairly large, very shadowy room, with the same stone floor and everything as the rest of the castle or manor I was in (I'm assuming it was a castle or manor, because of all the stone it was evidently built with). The floors of this room were partly covered in dark, shadowy red, sort of dirty-looking woven rug. There was a large fireplace in the room, which I couldn't see, because it was concealed by the ledge I was hiding behind. But I could see the warm, flickering glow from the fireplace touching nearly everything in the room; there was this man, whose age I couldn't really tell - he could have been twenty-four or a bit over thirty - sitting crossed-legged on the floor on the red rug in front of the fireplace.

This post and discussion is continued in the thread Difficult to explain
Past Life Memory, Pt. 2

I'll never forget how the man in my dreams looked. He had sort of curly, brown hair that was cut in a straight line at the bottom, and was fairly long, a few centimeters past his shoulders...I remember the details of his face perfectly, but they're hard to describe anyway. How can I say it? He had a sort of long, straight nose, eyes that I suppose were dark, though even that was hard to tell in the dark room, amidst the flickering firelight, kind of high cheekbones and broad, flat planes to his face - and he was wearing what looked like a very old-fashioned nightshirt, which was full, down to his ankles, and white.

As I said, the man was sitting crossed-legged in front of the fireplace, looking very sad, and seeming to stare intently into the light of the fire. Behind him, though almost everything was totally dark, I could still see a few tapestries on the stone walls, and other objects of little or no consequence in the room...But I was hiding, and looking at the man. Staring at him, but not in a creepy way. I don't really know what I was doing.

However, this is when things get rather scary, in the dream - because all of a sudden in the room, while the man with the long hair and white nightshirt is sitting on the floor and looking into the fire, this other figure whom I somehow know to be a man as well, steps very silently out from behind a tapestry near the corner of the room. This man is evil. I always knew that in my dreams. Something bad was wrong with him, and also, I know for a fact, somehow, that he's the uncle of the man seated on the floor. The uncle is wearing what look like long, completely black robes, as if to better his ability to hide in the darkness of the dark castle if the need arises - and the man's carrying what looks like some sort of old, sort of Gothic-looking battle axe.

At that point in my dream, like when the uncle-figure steps out from behind the tapestry, he positions himself behind his nephew, takes the axe in both his hands and swings it back, as it to sever his nephew's head. The nephew, still gazing sadly into the fire, feels nothing and suspects nothing. He also hears nothing whatsoever from his uncle being so close behind him. But the uncle decides to take the first strike with the axe - he makes a motion with the weapon as if to chop from the side, and actually comes into contact with side of the nephew's neck, but then stops right there, and brings his axe back a little bit.

However, this has made a slight cut on the nephew's neck, and he feels this...In my dream, the nephew always made this very quick movement, with a rather horrified expression on his face, and touches the side of his neck...He brings back his hand, and there's a little blood on his hand. I'm still hidden behind the stone ledge at the opening of the corridor, mind you, and no one ever sees me in this dream. But then the nephew looks behind him seconds after seeing the blood on his hand, sees his uncle, and his uncle quickly makes the same chopping movement with his axe - and I suppose he decapitates his nephew.

I've had that same exact dream more times than I can count, and it always left me freaking out when I was a little girl, each time after I had it. It was so, so strange. The detail I think I remember most clearly about the dream, was the uncle's pale-white hands, as he gripped the axe. There was a large ring or two on the fingers of his right hand. I don't know, was this guy royalty or something else? And why did he want to kill his nephew?

This post and discussion is continued in the thread Difficult to explain
Past Life Memory, Pt. 3

These are the details that I know for sure, and knew from the very beginning, even though I've never known how I could have known, about the people and goings-on in the dream:

1.) I knew that I was a thirteen-year-old girl, possibly a servant in the manor

2.) The man with the axe in the dream was definitely the younger man's uncle, his mother's brother

3.) I was witnessing an assassination in the nephew's own home

But that's about it. I've tried meditating on this dream, but with little or no success...I don't know what to do, but these dreams have really haunted me all throughout my life.

Here are a few other, much smaller memories that I have from what certainly must be this particular past lifetime:

1.) A basket of red and yellow apples in the stone-floored kitchen of the manor, or castle, or whatever; there is a very old woman, wearing a black woolen shawl and voluminous dark brown skirts seated beside the apples in a rickety wooden chair with a woven-reed seat. She is sitting next to the basket of apples, peeling the apples with a short-bladed, tarnished-looking paring knife, and putting the peeled apples into a shallow wooden bowl next to her somewhere. The woman's hair is thin and nearly all white, with just a little gray, and it's pulled back into a tight bun at the nape of her neck

2.) I remember a lot of other stuff about things that were in the kitchen part of the house, including a broom made of long birch twigs, which was propped up against a wall

3.) I remember looking out of a window in the kitchen at some kind of rolling, green countryside, like a moor or field

4.) I remember something about a river, and a small wattle-and-daub house by that river

This post and discussion is continued in the thread Difficult to explain
I was thinking even more today about that other past life I was talking about previously, the one in which I watched some guy get assassinated. I'm beginning to wonder if that past life might have taken place in Wales, sometime in the 1100's. I don't know why. I had never thought of Wales before, but then when I was going through the memories in my mind, once again, Wales suddenly came up...And so, thinking of the castle I'm pretty sure I watched the assassination take place in, and the way it looked, I began to do a little research concerning castles in Wales just this afternoon. The results I found were pretty amazing. Apparently, there's almost nowhere around in Europe that has as many castles as the whole of Wales does - but many of them have been completely destroyed over the years.

I've got this one specific memory, from the ''assassination lifetime'', of standing somewhere relatively far away from the huge stone edifice - which was actually pretty small, as far as your average castle goes, or so I think - and I found this one picture of a castle in Wales that reminds me a lot of how it looked, from my memory. If you look on this webpage, and look at the small map it gives of the old castle, it really reminds me how the one in my dreams always looked. Especially the relation of the kitchen area to the part of the castle known as the Keep. But of course, I have absolutely no way of knowing if this was the castle I lived in in a past life. There seem to be literally tons of them that were built, in the correct age in history, along these lines.


I hope that link works. Try to imagine the castle as though the whole thing wasn't in ruins. I wish there was some way for me to know if that particular castle is anywhere near a river, possibly the one I recall so clearly from my other life. Oh, and as an afterthought, I really wish I could know what my name was in that past life. I've tried meditating on it, but to no avail.

This post and discussion is continued in the thread Difficult to explain
I thought I should add that today, while I was meditating on all these seemingly random details about my past life, something came to me: I think that old woman peeling apples, whom I was talking about, was my grandmother in that past life. I feel astoundingly sure about it now. And I think that her name was Rebecca, though I'm not sure if Rebecca was a name commonly used in the period of time that I've slowly but surely come to think of as possibly the late 1100's in Wales. My parents were dead, and had been dead for a long, long time...Rebecca was my maternal grandmother. She and my mother in that life had never been close, but she always took care of me. That wattle-and-daub cottage by the river was Rebecca's house, but I think I lived and worked and slept in the castle in which I was a servant girl. I think I worked mostly in the kitchen and the herb garden, which was located right outside the kitchen area of the castle. That I remember especially clearly, because I know that there were some beehives located not too far away from the garden. There were special herbs of some kind grown in the garden, which were supposed to attract bees.

This post and discussion is continued in the thread Difficult to explain
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