Hi again, Hapfor. "What I fear most is that I seem to have lost the ability to love or to be loved after consistently being disappointed." I am quite sure that won't happen. You seem to have enough compassion in you... If it is "friends" you are referring to, I believe the best thing to do just ignore them. Make new and better friends. If it is "family", I'd say just do the best you can. The world reflects upon us what we are projecting, so perhaps a serious effort to change your own perspective of things would help. "They deserve to hate me and I deserve to be hated." Nobody deserves to be hated, Hapfor. I am a believer in compassion and forgiveness, but I have learned this is something that must start from US.