Complete lives

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by HBC, Jun 8, 2022.

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How much of a past life can you remember?

  1. vague bits

    4 vote(s)
    28.6%
  2. full scenes

    7 vote(s)
    50.0%
  3. striking details

    1 vote(s)
    7.1%
  4. way too much, make it stop!

    2 vote(s)
    14.3%
  1. HBC

    HBC Senior Member

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    Does anyone else remember an entire past life? Not just snippets or hints, but just about EVERYTHING, as though it happened in THIS life? And if so, how do you cope?

    About a year ago, quite randomly (and vividly) I remembered a whole separate existence, replete with details of historical events and places I couldn't have possibly known. The emotional impact was totally overwhelming, and turned my life upside down. I wrote it down and published it as a novella ("Unthreaded" by H.B. Cavalier if anyone's curious), and healed a lot in the process, but I still don't feel I can fully integrate everything. I'm not sure how to close the door and get back to living THIS life. I fear I may have an unhealthy attachment to things that are long gone, and often wish I couldn't remember them at all.

    Logically, I can see why I remembered: the end of my mostly uneventful life was fraught with trauma and I ended my life by myself. Understandably, I carried a lot of that into this life. But I've faced that, yet still feel torn between two very separate worlds. I miss feeling grounded in the here and now. I don't really have anyone to talk about my past life with, which feels like not being able to talk about my childhood, and I have no pictures or documents to validate my memories -- the combination of secrecy and lack of evidence makes me feel crazy sometimes. Even though remembering has so much healing potential, it's also done damage. I feel so isolated in the intensity and detail of my memories, and am surrounded by people who typically don't even believe in reincarnation at all!

    Anyway, if anyone can relate to this level of madness, do share! I'd love to feel less alone. And if you have any coping tips, I'm all ears. I've found that most people seek out past life memories on purpose, through regressions and such. I did NOT. So I'm not looking to remember MORE or dive in DEEPER, I'm looking to feel sane again. I don't mean to be a downer, but if anyone else ever feels overwhelmed or ashamed or awkward or filled with doubt, let me know! It's been very strange.
     
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  2. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi HCB,

    Welcome to the forum!
    I understand your situation, unfortunately, I don't have tips for coping mechanisms. I guess time will do its work.
    I am just wondering, you started remembering a year ago and you already published a book about those memories? Maybe you rushed through your experience without taking enough time for the psychological aspect of this process. Remembering is about healing yourself, nothing else.
    So don't be too harsh on yourself. A year is not much time for processing past life memories. Especially when there is a lot of pain and trauma involved.
     
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  3. melon04

    melon04 Senior Member

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    I just looked up your book and it does sound interesting! I actually have the idea of wanting to make a series of graphic novels centering around my past lives (will be accurate for the most part but some artistic license will be used). The only thing is that I can't do it now; I don't have enough information yet.

    I'm sure I could easily pass them off as normal historical fiction though.
     
  4. Speedwell

    Speedwell Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Oddly enough, my actual memories are mostly brief fragments, but the impact is in other ways - I have felt that this life was just a continuation of where I left off last time, the feeling was overwhelming, the sense of being.

    This part,
    ... I can associate with the overwhelming impact, and that as you say, this came to you not in childhood but much later. My interpretation, with the benefit of hindsight, was that it would have been overwhelming as a child, there's a need to reach at least early stages of adulthood to be strong enough, mentally and physically, to receive, to open up to aspects of yourself.

    From my own experience, it took a number of years, for a while everything seemed to be in some way influenced or a consequence of that past-life persona intruding into the present. I was immensely relieved when about a decade later I got myself into a troublesome mess, one of life's traumas, and realised it was entirely a present-life problem, something which I had caused. So ironically, it was when something bad happened that I felt glad, relieved to be fully engaged with the present, it was the first time in years that I felt in charge of my own life again.

    Perhaps I can only say - since we're all different and things may not be the same for you - that this is like a changing of the seasons, not bad or good, just a change, but something which will pass and things begin anew after a while.
     
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  5. Emma66

    Emma66 Once a Marine, always a Marine

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    Welcome to the forum.
    I remember several past lives. For some, just a few glimpses or hints and I don’t need to know more.
    But for others, even if I don’t remember the full life, the memories of the most emotionally intense moments are there almost every day and it’s already quite disturbing. On one hand it’s enough for one soul, but on the other hand I feel like I have partial amnesia and I absolutely have to recover my memory to feel better. As I already wrote in the thread "Too many memories for one soul."
     
  6. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    A warm welcome to you, HBC!

    Like many others, I got fragments and scenes. Sometimes something triggers a spontaneous memory, but like Emma said it so nicely: it's like having partial amnesia. From what must be a dozen lives or more.
    There still were times when it was overwhelming, and especially the things I do not remember often felt like they were driving me crazy. When you know that there is something lurking in the shadows (I even know when and where, just the actual memory and the details evade me), but you can't quite grasp it.

    Doubt, yes. While my heart and gut say it is real, my mind sometimes begins arguing. Lack of validation doesn't make it easier. Delving into spirituality until I was able to detach myself from my thoughts and what's referred to as the "ego" helped here.
     
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  7. Klaud

    Klaud Senior Member

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    For most of my past lives, there's a few full scenes here and there, but it's mostly bits and pieces, which I'm undoubtedly grateful for. There are some things that are probably better off forgotten at this point.

    The only one I can fully remember was my life in Mongolia where I saw pretty much the entire thing. I wasn't anyone notable that even the local historians would know of (at least I hope not), but I remember all of it. It was fairly traumatic, not so much for me, but more for everybody else. I'll spare you all the details, but let's just say I did a lot of things that would get me a life sentence now. I can vividly recall what it felt like to be that disturbed and reveling in power.

    Remembering who I used to be and all the damage I caused left me feeling almost physically ill at first. It took a long time for me just to accept it, let alone try to yeet myself over that hurdle. For me, once I convinced myself that I did all that stuff and that it happened, and now it was all over, the healing process could start. I was allowed to be angry and hurt, but there's simply no excuse for what happened. That feeling of absolute chaos is one that still haunts me, like I can hear what it sounded like and at one point it left me feeling totally out of my mind, but I know what I saw was real. It was too weirdly specific and detailed to not be.

    Trying to repair 1500 years worth of trauma has not been easy, and while it's still an ongoing thing, it's been unbelievably rewarding.

    I'm not sure I really have any advice, but I will say that things are the way they are whether we want them that way or not. The most we can do is try to make peace with ourselves and each other. I have no desire to go back to that life, but to make things right with the people I hurt, in the hopes that one day things will be better.

    I may use some of it for a fictional book I'm working on though. Some of the hunting scenes were pretty cool.
     
  8. HBC

    HBC Senior Member

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    Oh yes, I definitely rushed the writing of the book. I was so afraid I would forget! Instead, I've continued to remember even more -- jokes on me! And you're right -- I imagine time will indeed heal all wounds. It's famous for doing so, after all! Hearing someone else say "a year is not much time" is also helpful. For some reason I expected things to level out after a year. I have no idea why, but I'd developed some weird superstition that on June 6 (the anniversary of my first remembering things) the memories would magically go away or lose their sting. I honestly don't know where that idea came from, and it clearly didn't pan out -- so I was having a bit of a mini-crisis when I wrote my post. It's silly now that I think about it. There's really no logical reason why I'd be faced with 34 years of a whole other life only to have it evaporate after 12 months o_O Hopefully I will behave more sanely in the future, though based on my past that's kind of wishful thinking :p

    Thanks for your kind reply!
     
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  9. HBC

    HBC Senior Member

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    I love graphic novels! I was pressed to make my little book into a graphic novel, and I probably could have, but I fail miserably at drawing things like cars. Seriously, cars -- they're the worst! If I had remembered a life before cars, I probably would've made a graphic novel. Sadly, I distinctly remember many vehicles and spent considerable amounts of time inside of them -- the curse of the 20th century :p

    I hope that you gather enough information, either from memories or other sources. I would love to check out anyone's creative work based on their past life. I found one book randomly in a store recently, "Northumberland Dreaming" by Mary Rhees Mercker, which is apparently about a past life of hers in the middle ages. I haven't read it yet, but it's on my shelf. Personally, I was blown away by how much my own experiences of the early 1900's don't "match" popular collective memory (though I've managed to verify the vast majority of them), or how "wrong" I could be politically at times (hindsight is 20/20!), so I'm extra curious to see what surprising information might come through someone else's personal memories of the past.
     
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  10. HBC

    HBC Senior Member

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    Ha! Isn't that the dream! That's exactly the sort of feeling I long for, honestly -- to be fully engaged in this life, even if means doing something completely foolish!

    Looking back on my own life, I'm right there with you -- my last life blended seamlessly with this one, to the point that I was almost consciously making decisions based on things that had happened a hundred years ago. It's very hard to parse the two, emotionally, but knowing the details of what was going on -- whoo! Totally knocked the wind out of me.

    I was also just thinking this morning about how "asleep" I was in the past -- I drank a lot when I was younger, but in the years leading up to remembering I started to become very, very sensitive to every little thing: food, alcohol, drugs, people's moods, loud noises, and any toxicity in my relationships. I stopped going out, stopped watching most things -- I mostly existed in quiet, empty space to spare myself the overwhelm. It was almost like a forced meditation retreat. I can imagine, in retrospect, that you're right -- I'd reached a point where I was strong enough (adult enough, if you will) to face the complexity and intensity of my past life, but in order to do so I had to shed all the layers of distraction I'd been using to block out the memories -- eating out all the time, going to parties, etc. There were a lot of "warning signs" that this was coming, now that I think about it, and maturing in general is probably the biggest one.

    It's certainly interesting to think about.
     
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  11. HBC

    HBC Senior Member

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    I have to say, I laughed out loud when I saw that people were skipping the "striking details" option in the survey. It's like, once you reach a certain point in your memories, it all cascades down and caves in on you. You can peer through a hole at it, but if that hole gets too big the whole dam breaks! Or so it seems :p
     
  12. HBC

    HBC Senior Member

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    I couldn't help but laugh at this -- I find myself feeling the same way. I didn't do anything too atrocious (though my suicide wasn't exactly the kindest gesture toward my loving family), but sometimes I find myself wishing I'd made a name for myself so that I could find evidence of my existence . . . and then other times I'm really, really happy with the anonymity ;) I mean, what would the newspaper clippings look like?! "Famous Fashion Designer Weeps, Loses Mind on City Bus" -- No thanks, I rather prefer being nameless!

    I have vague, patchy memories of of being unsavory in previous lives that I've mostly forgotten (the one that stands out most was in Victorian India, aiding the imperialists despite being Indian myself -- not my proudest moment). I feel like I lost patience with myself after that, like I got fed up with my propensity to cause harm and really took it out on myself in my last life -- not so much as punishment but more to force myself to "straighten up" or something. Not sure if I recommend that tactic, but I think it did play a role in my remembering in this life. I've always had a sense of having a "mission" in this life, and remembering my last life has really clarified the kind of healing and self-awareness I'm aiming for. It's certainly a strange feeling -- as well as an exhausting one -- to recognize the sheer quantity of time one has to put into healing. My heart is definitely with you on that one. Reincarnation is . . . unforgivingly epic in a way.
     
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  13. Klaud

    Klaud Senior Member

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    I'm good with total anonymity at this point, although I have a suspicion my then treasured dagger might be in a museum or a private collection somewhere.

    In that life and most every one after that, someone has taken me out in some pretty brutal ways, so it's not like there weren't any consequences. The first person I hurt in Mongolia was the one who took the final potshot at me in my last life after a few centuries of struggling. I had it coming tbh, although I'd like to think we're good now since there's a lot of hugs and a very sincere 'I love you' when we see each other.

    Like you, I've always know that purpose as well. My goal isn't to make a name for myself or live a lavish life, but to clean house.

    There's nothing but time and endless possibilities.
     
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  14. melon04

    melon04 Senior Member

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    I also love graphic novels! Also I can't draw cars either so you don't have to feel bad about it (plus the past life I was speaking of was in the 1600s so obviously there were no cars).

    It is the only past life I know of so far and even then, I barely know anything about it because I have only done one regression as of the time of this post. (I would like to do them again though). I have looked at your past life though, and it sounds very interesting. I'm sure you have heard about my past life as well. I would really like to read your book but unfortunately it is impossible for me to buy it in my current situation.

    But with as much as I know about said past life, I do feel like it has the potential to be an interesting graphic novel. That, plus I wonder what other past lives I've had.
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2022
  15. HBC

    HBC Senior Member

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    There are several past life regression guided meditations online that I've tried -- and at least one "quantum jumping" (or whatever it's called -- time slipping? When you try to align yourself with a different reality -- whatever that's called, I can't remember) video that mid-way through surprisingly turns into a past life recall video. That one was actually the most profound and healing for me, I think because I didn't know it was going to go in that direction! I ended up seeing a medieval life in which my secret lover was burned at the stake (secret lovers are a theme of mine -- I've got some issues :rolleyes:), and I was forced to watch alongside a jeering mob, but couldn't bring myself to jeer nor did I have any opportunity to mourn. It was just a snapshot of that life, and took only a couple days to integrate -- and I recovered from a bad case of unrequited love in the process that I'm sure was related. It was great!

    Anyway, those videos are free and fun, but I've found you never know what life they're going to take you to -- they take you wherever you need at that moment, I suppose. I've seen lives all over the world and all across time with those videos, but almost never the one I wrote about. But maybe I simply don't need videos for that one; I already remember it just fine! My life in London was remembered differently, too. I began to recall snippets when I was pregnant with my now-5 year-old daughter, and finally remembered in full the day that she asked me why I'd given her the name I did (which is its own story). I've always felt like we had some kind of history together, and our relationship is a bit surreal. I get the feeling she was my mom in my previous life, but she claims she was a cat :p I do my best not to push any of this on her, but every now and then, if she throws a tantrum or refuses to eat or something, my husband will say, "She's your mom, this is your karma!"

    And oh man, if you're aiming to draw a past life from the 1600s, cars or no cars, that's quite the undertaking! What's your style like, if you don't mind me asking? Did you draw your avatar? (If so, just go make your graphic novel already!!!) I took some of a year-long comic class once, and with the right tools found I wasn't half bad, but my comic heroes -- Craig Thompson and David B. -- left me feeling inadequate and tried for patience. Probably due to my last life, I've yet to make peace with mediocrity in drawing :oops: I still dream of making a graphic novel someday (I have one that's almost complete as a draft), and I try to tell myself, "I'm not THAT bad at drawing, it'd be a waste not to do something with it." But then I remember being an illustrator in the 20's and 30's and get lazy, feeling, "Screw it! I already DID that! I'm takin' a life off!" :D

    I can't stress enough how much I admire graphic novelists though, of all stripes. It's my favorite way to consume a good story.

    Do you know where you were in the 1600's? I just think of that era as so lush and ornate for some reason. I have no idea what I was doing at that time, but for some reason I'm like "I could illustrate the 1200's, maybe the 1400's -- but the 1600's?! No way!" That might just be a "me" issue, though ;)
     
  16. melon04

    melon04 Senior Member

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    I did in fact do a regression on YouTube. It was the video I was recommended to do when I told someone about wanting to try a past life regression (I didn't believe in reincarnation but I still wanted to do it out of curiosity, and surprisingly I got something).

    I did not draw my avatar. It's actually a character that kind of reminded me of my past life self due to having overall similar vibes (he's a minor character from a popular franchise) so I just kind of permanently associate them with each other. My art style is kind of unique, and I've had people mistaken it for anime/manga and although I can see the resemblance, it's actually not. But if you'd like, I could draw my past life self and post it in a different thread.

    The only reasons I'm not starting on my graphic novel yet is because 1. I've never written one before and 2. I don't have enough information. I have this issue of always coming up with really cool ideas and then never doing anything with them. But I really want to try to make my graphic novel and I need to get more information to do it.
     
  17. Tinnos

    Tinnos Senior Member

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    Oh look you're just like me. I have a whole journal of ideas I haven't done anything with. Although, in my defense, they are starting to coalesce into something moderately resembling a form.

    ...hey, "coalesce into something moderately resembling a form" would make a good line in the story. *jots down more notes*
     
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  18. HBC

    HBC Senior Member

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    Yeah, writing a graphic novel is a daunting freaking task! That's why I only have a draft of one -- which I wrote in 2015, no less!! I have a PLETHORA of excuses for not finishing that thing -- not the least among them being that I have books I'd like to write. But I also don't know any artists right now, really -- I imagine if I knew artists rather than lit buffs and novelists, I'd at least be able to feed off of the peer pressure ;)

    Yes! Post some of your art! Sometimes a little positive feedback is all a person needs to get down to work on a project -- I know sharing small bits of my writing helped give me the strength (AKA patience) to churn out a full novel. Maybe if you drew yourself in your past life, I'd feel the pressure to try to draw MY self in my past life (probably the hardest thing, as I scarcely remember my face -- I remember everyone else's faces, as THEY were the ones I was always looking at!). Maybe it would inspire other people to try to draw THEIR past lives as well. I wouldn't be surprised if there were several artists hidden in this forum. I feel like there's some overlap between creativity and spirituality -- something about fluid thinking or something. I'm sure there's a book about it. Let's just pretend I know what I'm talking about :D
     
  19. melon04

    melon04 Senior Member

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    I've actually made a few drawings of my past life self before. However, I did take some artistic license because I saw myself only briefly which means I didn't get the full details. If you'd like I could try to describe what I can remember.
     
  20. HBC

    HBC Senior Member

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    Go ahead! Whatever memories you have of your appearance probably surpass mine! I remember my glasses, which were circular with tortoiseshell frames, and I remember a pair of Italian suede gloves that I adored. I struggled with my hair, which was curly -- it was the style to sweep it back with a lot of pomade; I did my best, but sometimes looked like I'd been electrocuted. As a teenager I parted it in the middle, which was probably a mistake :cool: My weight went up and down with my heath, and I was usually pretty thin. But my actual face? My partner was quite handsome, so I couldn't have been that bad looking, but I sort of avoided the mirror. As far as I recall, I thought I looked like a weird owl o_O
     
  21. melon04

    melon04 Senior Member

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    When I saw myself, I remember I was wearing a mostly brown outfit except for my hat which was bright red. If I can recall correctly I believe my shoes were black. I don't really remember the specifics other than that the clothes were typical for the time period.

    I am fully aware that there is no such thing as "looking Jewish" but I had some of the more stereotypical traits and I most likely couldn't pass as an ethnic German. (And when I say "stereotypical" I mean as in prominent nose and darker features. My wasn't super dark but rather around the same color as Jeff Goldblum.) I looked older and had grey hair, but I am almost certain it was black/dark brown when I was younger. I would guess I was around the late 50s-early 60s. (I got the year 1645 when I saw myself so this, along with knowing that I died in my 60s, was how I was able to estimate my birth and death years.) My face wasn't really long but was still longer than that of my current life's (which is more round) My hair texture appeared to be about the same as my current life's (2a), and the same could be said about eye color (dark brown). I don't remember if I had facial hair or not since I couldn't see myself for long enough or clear enough, but if I did it was a relatively small amount. I don't know exactly how tall I was but I was on the taller end of the spectrum and a few inches taller than in this current life (so maybe around 5' 8" - 5' 10"). I was thin but not skinny, rather slightly muscular.

    The weird thing about is that although the physical features were notably different (I am East Asian in this life), I could still recognize that was me. I don't really know how else to explain it but in a way I still looked the same. Even the expressions and mannerisms were the same.

    I only saw myself in third person very briefly, as most of my memories were from the first person.
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2022 at 12:18 AM

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