Deborah's memories

Discussion in 'Member's Memories - Archive' started by Deborah, Nov 21, 2000.

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  1. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Continued....


    I had had several past life experiences regarding my life in England as Kayln when in the late 1990's I was participating on a private forum with some extraordinary people. Judy (Carl Sagan's sister in-law) Elizabeth Hallett (Author of Soul Trek) And others whose understanding of life as a daily spiritual walk changed mine - forever. I am truly thankful for all that they shared with me.


    One of the women (Pam) and I became close friends. We talked about spiritual books, dreams, visions, PSI and of course past lives. I had not shared my memories of Kayln but had recorded five pages of memories in my journal over the preceding year. In fact, it never came up in our conversations.


    Pam had a group of friends that invited a local psychic in Ohio where she lives - to do a group session. Pam told me that as soon as everyone sat down, the psychic looked straight at her and said "You have a friend on the West Coast, you have had a past life with. In England. Your parents owned an Inn along the coast and you and your friend worked there. Your name was Kalyn and hers Samuel, and you both later sailed to the New World working as deck hands."


    Pam had been having flashbacks of this life time but had not said anything to me or the psychic. Once the psychic stated this - she knew exactly who she was talking about. Me! She e-mailed me a long excerpt from her session, and of course I was shocked and copied and pasted from my journals everything I had recalled as Kayln. My memories, her memories and the psychic reading all matched. The only thing the psychic got wrong - was the names were reverse. I was Kayln and she was Samuel.


    Pam and I have meet several times since then - I flew once to Ohio for an exhibition and stayed several days; and she and her husband drove it California once and stayed for several days. We chat on the phone from time to time and when we meet - or chat -it's like we live next door to each other and have known each other forever. Memories flood in and as I am talking she is filling in the blanks and visa versa.


    The shared experiences with my son and with Pam - brought a whole new meaning to past life validations for me. :)


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread Memories of England - 1600s
     
  2. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Update:


    Regarding Eevee's question :

    I e-mailed Pam and she said there was none that she could think of off hand.
    She also said -

    Pam clarified some things for me from her perspective so I thought I would share.


    It wasn't with the female psychic the first time that she learned of our shared past life. She went to a channeling session with a group of Friends. This was in Indiana, not Ohio.


    She asked the channeler if she and I had ever shared a lifetime. He told her that we had a past life together in England in the 1600's. That he thought it was near or around the Liverpool area.


    He said that my name was Samuel and hers was something like--Calvin. He wasn't sure that this was accurate. Later when she shared this with me, we realized that he had gotten the names mixed up. He said that her father ran a small pub. That she and I were good friends who grew up together. That she and I worked together in the pub to help her dad out when we were in our teens. He said that we also helped the shipbuilders and learned that craft.


    The second point is she later visited an older female psychic in Indiana. The channeler and the psychic did not know each other. The readings took place in 2 different cities in Indiana months apart from each other. She had written a question asking on a piece of paper if we had lived together, folded the paper and handed it to her. She never looked at or unfolded the paper. She simply held it in her hands. Pam said:

    So -it was a great reminder to me - that her validations came from a channeler, a psychic and her own memories - as well as my experiences journaled years before we ever met on the INTERNET.


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread Memories of England - 1600s
     
  3. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Black Slave woman


    The other day I did a meditation and in the experience I was churning butter in the south with a wooden churn.


    One of my favorite things is butter - real butter. To me it is a delicacy. I know -we can walk into any store and buy it now - but there was a time when we worked hard for the butter. I have to say it tasted better then, it isn't special to people now...but it is to me. : angel


    As a slave I wasn't allowed to have any -or just very little. Sometimes when I butter my bread..there is a cozy feeling -of the old ways and the specialness of real home churned butter.


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread Memory triggers
     
  4. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    My PL experiences of India began in 1987. Twenty years ago. My mother and I share many past life memories..one of the most clear and new to both of us at the time, was in India as sisters. In 1987 the following happened:


    We were at a mediation retreat and we were sitting across from each other in a big room meditating. Suddenly I was OB and so was she. Our physical forms changed. I was a little Indian girl and so was she. We met OBE in the middle of the meditation room.


    Our reality had shifted and suddenly we were back in another time and place -in India holding hands and swinging in a circle and then dancing. We both laughed and giggled. There was such joy in the experience I cannot put it into words. We lived in a palace, our father was very important. We often hid under a near by table in the entry way to spy on the adults as they talked about national affairs. But our giggling always gave us away.


    When the group was done meditating the look on my face and my moms said volumes.


    My mother met with a few of her friends and began telling them what she had experienced. I met with a friend and began telling him mine. When we finally got to talk about our experience -- they matched! Those who had heard us tell it before we shared with each other were amazed. So were we.: angel :D :laugh:


    Sharing an experience with another brings past lives to a whole new level of awareness - it becomes much more 'real.'


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread India - the time of the British take over
     
  5. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Sharing is an important component on the forum, and although hard to do sometimes, I cannot help but feel that it helps others to understand and validate their own experiences. So I will share from my point of view what I experienced.


    I started the original "OM" CD in order to help us get into the meditation quickly. Which never seems to be a problem but it does heighten the awareness considerably. In silence I asked to help Aili and I heal from our past - and help us understand our connection. The meditation was filled with vibration, in fact it felt to me like the whole bed was shaking..such a strong vibration that I almost sat up and asked her if she felt it too - but instead continued on.


    The light was pulsating in my inner vision, and many lives flashed before me, but nothing that stood out as important at the time. About half way into the meditation I felt myself going deeper and deeper, as if sinking....I heard bombs dropping and planes flying overhead. I ran for a closet to hide and protect myself...I had my hands over my head and my eyes forced shut in fear. I was aware of my situation....but the gift for me in the meditation was I experienced it from Aili's POV too. I could see her up against a wall, screaming for pappa, ash and flying debris everywhere. Fire...there was fire....


    In the meditation I began to cry, tears softly running down my cheeks.


    Then the time and place changed - it was only a few days after my family had been buried. I was standing looking at the gravestones. I read their names through my tears and could see them clearly Nicoletta, Luca, Pappa.....and I looked down to what I was holding. I was holding a necklace - the necklace Nicoletta had thrown on the table before they left for town. The trip I had refused to go on.


    Several older woman had come to stay with me, I was then in the house - numb. I could see them but I could not hear them. It was as if I was submerged under water. One was doing the dishes, the other laundry. I wished they would just leave.


    There was a time lapse - I was older and my uncle had come with his children and wife. They were very upper class and he was very successful. I wore my father's old boots in his memory, a knee length skirt and dirty apron; my hair was tied back into a scarf. Today it would be called grunge. LOLOL ....Of which I am prone too. ;)


    Then I was outside with one of the little girls. She was so cute and I noticed she had black patton shoes on and a pretty dress. I was thinking that her mother was going to be mad because her shoes were getting dirty. I picked her up...and she didn't like that so much. Then I was pointing to the big tree and the view. Italy has the most beautiful sunshine, green rolling hills and the vineyard was full of red grapes and green leaves. She was a very curious young thing - and I felt especially fond of her. My family was buried close to that tree. I was not so old - only about 37, but I knew to this little girl, I was ancient.


    Then the phone rang and the doors banged open and shut. My son came home not knowing we were meditating. It only lasted 30 minutes....but I can now see that part of my healing was to realize that Nicoletta had come back to me - in the same family. First she was my sister, and then my cousin. Now she is my friend. I even kid her about being my long lost adopted daughter...because I cannot help but love her.


    Finding those we have loved and lost in a past life is a healing experience. It is also a gift - to be cherished. I feel very thankful to be able to share with her my memories, and blessed that she shares hers with me.


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread Italy - Our Story Continues
     
  6. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    ....I was about 14 -15 and Samuel and Kayln where on the shore near the docks. An older woman in a light blue dress with a white apron and a little girl holding a wooden horse came to the shore with us to say goodbye. The woman brought a "wedge of bread" wrapped in cloth for us to take on our trip.


    Another young man about our age walked up with a three tipped hat on his head. I was teasing him and tipped his hat trying to knock it off, and said something similar to "Blimey Joe"...only I am not sure it was blimey but something close to it. I was teasing him that he was pretending to be a statesman.


    Then time and place shifted. Samuel and I were on the decks, braiding ropes. We where wrapping them tightly and securing them for future use. My hands hurt and were raw. It was a lot of work. We were sitting on the deck floor - one end was attached to a secure foundation (metal ring) and the rope was braided from there.


    I was aware that we were deck hands, and did common chores for passage and training purposes. Low on the totem pole you might say. ;) I was thinking how much I wanted to sleep in the hammocks below deck. I was very tired.


    BTW - Pam says she has had memories of the hammocks below deck, where we slept. She said she saw them in rows - so evidently there were many deck hands or youth in training. :eek:

    This is one of the things about past life memories that is frustrating. I heard the name. It was not spelled out for me. I was a five year old boy during the memory. The psychic Pam saw said he thought the name was Calvin -or something like that. It sure sounded like Kayln to me, but it could have been Kegan which is an English, Irish name or Colin as you suggested. In the thread - Does consciousness go to what it is familiar with - it's easy to see how and why odd old names can be so difficult to pin point.


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread Memories of England - 1600s
     
  7. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    I did a meditation today and thought I would share. It was funny. Even if poor Nicoletta didn't think so at the time. ;) *S*S*S poor sis


    Nicoletta and I were walking in a field. She was about five years old and I was ten. We were picking flowers for Mama's table. I had a handful and we were loading up a small cart full of them. They were very beautiful poppies, and a small variety of little field flowers. Nikia bent over to pick a bunch and was mumbling something to herself. She picked a flower and then let out this blood curdling scream - dropping them everywhere. Tears coming down her face- she was horrified!


    I came running over --- it was a huge spider! I started laughing in the meditation...then and now and so much so that if any of you were there it would have been hysterical to see me laying on my bed laughing like crazy! Poor Nicoletta didn't think it was funny..she was so upset. I said something like baccela (spelling?)! Which felt like a big sister picking on her little sister big time.


    There was a neighbors dog with us - he liked to hang out following us everywhere. The laughter erupted from the inside out...it was hilarious; sorry Aili it was so funny from my perspective as your older sister; to see your poor horrified face over a spider. ;) Tears just a streaming -...: angel :D :cool


    The only Italian word that comes close to what I was saying was baccalĂ  which according to the language translator means moron. :butbut: Any other insights for translation? Again Aili - I apologize for my juvenile ways - last life time that is. :laugh:


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread Italy - Our Story Continues
     
  8. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Europe, 1300's NUN


    I finally found some time to meditate the other day. It was an interesting experience. I had remembered this life time back in the early 1990's and recorded it in my journals. This meditation seemed to be an extension of the last one.


    I was immediately drawn to Europe the 1300's. I saw several nuns in an area doing chores. Folding cloth, preparing food, cleaning utensils. It was so cold - VERY COLD! It must have been winter. I was one of them. There was a sense that we had taken a vow; a vow of silence. Although we were all aware of each other - the hard part was staying focused within. Not projecting outward to others and respecting their space... as if scared.


    At one point I was walking in the halls of a tall stoned building with candles lit way above head level. I passed a stained glass window; it was not in an important part of the chapel - but near the back. It had a lot of blue glass and was my favorite. I held a rosary in my hand - the beads were blue. Funny it felt tied around my sash - a sash that acted like a belt, and then the cross was tucking into my pocket on the right side. I have no idea if this was how they would carry them but that was what it felt like.


    At one point I was seated, I had just pulled up woolen socks to my knees and was tying the moccasin type boots/shoes on my feet.The leather was buffed-and the metal loops held the strings. The shoe went only half way up the leg - not to the knee. When I stood up and looked down,I saw what I was wearing, heavy linen undergarments, and a gray habit over the undergarments.


    Most of what I got I would consider the little things. I was dusting off a chair that had a rose patterned seat. At one point I was seated and another nun was cutting my hair very short. She used a curved blade not scissors. :eek: Then I was praying and later at a ceremony there was priest giving a blessing .I stood before him, bowing my head in his presence and in the process noticed his gold chain - his rosary.


    I spent most of my time behind the Church, in the living quarters, in the garden, and focused all my attention on praying, reading the Bible, doing chores, washing, and cleaning. I did experience several times the feeling of being in prayer..deep in prayer and entering an altered state. It would happen so FAST and I would go so deep it would scare me.


    Some where on the forum I have posted about this life time and helping orphaned children whose parents had died in the Plague. I am also looking for historical clues to help me validate the experience. I am very curious about the shoes I described, if nuns wore sashes around their waist, and if they wore linen under garments.


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread Europe, 1300's, NUN
     
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  9. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Europe, 1300's NUN


    I finally found some time to meditate the other day. It was an interesting experience. I had remembered this life time back in the early 1990's and recorded it in my journals. This meditation seemed to be an extension of the last one.


    I was immediately drawn to Europe the 1300's. I saw several nuns in an area doing chores. Folding cloth, preparing food, cleaning utensils. It was so cold - VERY COLD! It must have been winter. I was one of them. There was a sense that we had taken a vow; a vow of silence. Although we were all aware of each other - the hard part was staying focused within. Not projecting outward to others and respecting their space... as if scared.


    At one point I was walking in the halls of a tall stoned building with candles lit way above head level. I passed a stained glass window; it was not in an important part of the chapel - but near the back. It had a lot of blue glass and was my favorite. I held a rosary in my hand - the beads were blue. Funny it felt tied around my sash - a sash that acted like a belt, and then the cross was tucking into my pocket on the right side. I have no idea if this was how they would carry them but that was what it felt like.


    At one point I was seated, I had just pulled up woolen socks to my knees and was tying the moccasin type boots/shoes on my feet.The leather was buffed-and the metal loops held the strings. The shoe went only half way up the leg - not to the knee. When I stood up and looked down,I saw what I was wearing, heavy linen undergarments, and a gray habit over the undergarments.


    Most of what I got I would consider the little things. I was dusting off a chair that had a rose patterned seat. At one point I was seated and another nun was cutting my hair very short. She used a curved blade not scissors. :eek: Then I was praying and later at a ceremony there was priest giving a blessing .I stood before him, bowing my head in his presence and in the process noticed his gold chain - his rosary.


    I spent most of my time behind the Church, in the living quarters, in the garden, and focused all my attention on praying, reading the Bible, doing chores, washing, and cleaning. I did experience several times the feeling of being in prayer..deep in prayer and entering an altered state. It would happen so FAST and I would go so deep it would scare me.


    Some where on the forum I have posted about this life time and helping orphaned children whose parents had died in the Plague. I am also looking for historical clues to help me validate the experience. I am very curious about the shoes I described, if nuns wore sashes around their waist, and if they wore linen under garments.


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread Europe, 1300's, NUN
     
  10. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Mentors


    There was a group of us, (African American ex-slaves); four women doing laundry by hand, in a wash tub, with a press and then hanging the clothes on the line to dry. Everyday chores and everyday life. The clothes line was shared by several families. There were no fences between the property lines. We were talking about an older woman in the community -her name was Gordie Mae. The work was hard -the pace of life was slow. It was just everyday life - a simpler time.


    I am living in Oklahoma in an all black community near Oklahoma City, but not in it. I am in Church and it is Sunday; there is a community congregation but today it feels more like a political assembly. An old woman is seated in the front row and strikes her cane on the ground. It is Gordie Mae. She is speaking loudly and firmly about our rights, as human beings, as Americans, living in the land of the free..........


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread Past life mentors
     
  11. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Chinese Ribbon Dancers during Ming Dynasty


    I did a meditation yesterday that brought me to an interesting time and place. I was talking with a young girl, she was Chinese and she was showing me a blue bowl - that was round like a ball with an opening at the top that went into the center. It was beautifully crafted with delicate designs all around it.


    I looked down and felt my small bound feet - and saw my own flowing gown. I have recalled this life before but never an aspect that displays the arts of the culture so profoundly. I was a Chinese woman, a governess and I was entering a performance that had dancers with long - and I mean very long ribbons flowing through the air.


    After the meditation I did a search and found that the Chinese did in fact use very long silk ribbons in dances. The were called Chinese Ribbon Dancers and it dates back way before the time period that I lived during the Ming Dynasty. There were drums playing in the background and the dancers were dressed with very fancy silk clothing. It was the LONG RIBBONS and the flow and beauty of the dance that struck me; they were so eloquent and yet at the same time so powerfully strong was the impact -- visually.


    If you have never seen a ribbon dancer (which I had not) you can see a young woman dancing with red ribbons in this link.


    Anyone else struck by the beauty or power of an ancient art form within their past life experiences?


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  12. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    Triggers and shared validations


    Ailish came to visit this month and after shopping in SF, doing art and visiting friends we finally did a meditation. We had put off doing a meditation until the last few days of her visit. Meditations take time to do; emotionally they can be very taxing. So taking two to three hours to do it wasn't easy. Visit time was precious.


    Aili had mentioned she wanted to try holding hands during the meditation - like I had done with my son Daniel when he was only seven years old. I was interested in finding IF holding hands would allow us to have a deeper and more connected experience. Expecting something to happen usually only prohibits it from happening. But in this case - the connection by touch brought on a heightened experience!We listened to William Buhlman's CD "OM" - it is NOT a guided regression CD but made up of Tibetan Bells chimes and bowl music.


    Immediately - I was in the light- violet and blue light; then I was running....there was the sensation I was chasing Aili! I was running after a small girl who I knew in the meditation to be Aili now. There were stone walls with rounded corners. Water was running run down the sides of the walls and moss was growing up from the bottom. The smell of moss was strong, and the little girl was very quick. It was a Monastery...I was a nun....I knew the child thought it was funny to run, and dang it anyway - I could not catch her.


    Time shifted and I found us in the garden. Another nun was hanging clothes on a line to dry, it was early fall. I was picking vegetables from the garden and the little girl was being instructed to place a rabbit snare next to some leafy vegetable. It was made of metal, and had a small noose that lay on the ground. I was assuring her that the noose would not hurt the rabbit - but that we had to stop them from getting our food. The rabbit would be taken "elsewhere." Deep inside - I knew that if certain people found it first - it would be dinner. We spent the days doing many chores..at one point she and I were folding small handkerchiefs or napkins into a specific form. I was teaching her how to fold them.


    Time shifted and we moved to a place of prayer. I was instructing her to learn the prayers in Latin and to hold her hands in a certain manner. She did not want to hold her hands that way and I had to keep reaching over and moving them back into position. She was maybe four years old.


    The interesting thing with this meditation was the overlaying of similar situations from one life into another. The Light became stronger...time moved forward from the 1300's to the 1900's. I was in Italy; my niece Alessandra had run off...and I was going after her. She was upset and hiding from me. I had seen her run to the house and I followed suit. I heard small noises coming from the closet door in the hall. I opened it carefully. She was under the lowest shelf - her foot sticking out from behind the stored goods. I paid careful attention to how I felt about her in the meditation. Although I knew her to be my niece - there was this awareness that she was also my sister Nicoletta who died in a bombing in 1917. I called my sister Nica for short - pronounced Neeka. Which as Aili has posted before and is the case. I notice the jars with metal lids of jam, and jellies, boxes of baking soda with early advertising designs that really fascinated me in the meditation. I began trying to coax the child out of her hiding place -but she refused.


    Suddenly time and place shifted - I was sitting in a train. Sudden and unexpected movements like this can be shocking. The train was waiting to leave the station when BAM another train pasted by us REAL FAST! Shocked the bajesus out of me in the meditation - and while I was on the train. I didn't hear it coming! My mind was elsewhere.


    Time shifted again - it was like a fast forward on a movie - flashes and images of bombs - fire buildings burning....then tears. Someone reached over and placed a rosary in my hand. I was numb, my family was gone. They had all died in the bombing in town. Tears...more tears..silent tears. We were walking outside of the church - the bodies would be moved to the burial ground soon. I hear the steeple bells ringing...then suddenly a small plane flew overhead...people were scrambling running it was so loud and so low! I could see it, the fear was intense but then the reality that there was a small plane that flew over my house --- NOW in this life in real time tripled the experience.


    It was so loud and so low and the timing of the experience and the plane! Extraordinary. Extraordinary because I never hear planes flying over my house or hear planes flying that low. It not only triggered the fear and sadness to a deeper level - it was happening then and now. The people at the church in 1917 soon realized it was an allies plane - there was nothing to fear.


    continued................
     
  13. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    I cried for the rest of the meditation, but tried not to disturb Aili's experience. The tears flooded down my cheeks - like a faucet. I could not turn them off. I was soon in my home with family and friends from distant places who were rallying their support for me. I was only seventeen years old. I could see photos of my mother, my father and my sister and brother that had been carefully placed on the fireplace mantle. The photo of my mother was a profile shot and in sepia tones. Red maroon candles were lit in the room which set off a deep red glow about the house. There was the smell of incense, I was numb; I could hear the others crying. I felt my blood pressure dropping, I felt I was under water....I passed out and collapsed on the floor. I could hear people scrambling around me and then...nothing. Everything went black........


    Toward the end of the meditation (which had been almost an hour), I was at Alessandra's funeral - looking at the rosary placed in her hands as she laid in her casket. I was reminded of my families death, and how a woman had placed a rosary in my hands in 1917. Alessandra's hair was in long curls and placed carefully on each shoulder. The strange thing was that in the meditation I could feel her spirit with me - she was not "in" the casket, but in front of me. I could see her spirit. I didn't know what to do or say and I felt alone - there was no one to talk too. :'( It was very strange for me - to be aware that she was my sister who had died and come back as my niece. Even stranger -- she was there in spirit with me - even after death.


    I look forward to Aili sharing her experience. ;) !


    This post and discussion is continued in the thread Triggers and shared validations.
     
  14. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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