Feeling unsatisfied with current family

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by AssassinAnime, May 11, 2021.

  1. AssassinAnime

    AssassinAnime Active Member

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    Grand rising, I'm new to the forum.
    I feel a bit unsatisfied with the family that I choosed and wish to be with one of my past life families. I grew up being with a Christian Southern Baptist family. In 2017, I decided Christianity wasn't for me so I became an atheist. Then last year, I had a spiritual awakening and on a spiritual journey now.

    So on this year Mother's Day, I had expressed to my family that I was an old soul and they automatically told me that "You aren't an old soul, you shouldn't believe everything that I hear, and etc." Each time I express myself with my family, they dismissed anything that I say. For a couple of days, I have been mourning for the lost of the family I wish understand and accepted me. My biological current mom is emotional unavailable, my father is absent, and three younger brothers. My family has a generation curse of emotional and mental abuse and unhealthy eating habits. I feel so isolated in my biological family and I don't feel any joy being around them during holidays. I thought at one point that my grandma was my mom in my past life but it was just a memory of me calling her mom because she had to take care of me while my mom was in the army. I tried to explain to others how it's impossible for me and my mom to have a loving relationship.

    I have a unbiology twin who is my best buddy. He seems like an older brother that I never had. I want to find my soul family now but I don't know where to look or someone in my past life.
    Should I just cut myself off from this family or continue to suffer in their presences? I hope that I get an accepting family in my next life.

    (Note: I was a preemie baby.)
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2021
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  2. Speedwell

    Speedwell Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Eventually we all have to start to build a life for ourselves which is separate from the family we were born into. That's just part of the shifting from one generation to the next. I don't have anything very practical to say. Except for this. I would try not to cause harm or animosity with my family, its not an "all or nothing" game where you have to be in total agreement or total separation. Try to keep a connection via the things which you do have in common. It might just be sharing certain food or visiting certain places, you might think of other examples. There may be things which we can use to connect with others in a more simple way without concern for the serious questions.
     
  3. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

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    From experience like many others have found that the modern western mind to be pretty useless when it comes to spiritual matters especially when it comes to communicating to others something outside the immediate mainstream. It really does feel alienating so my advice is to not push anything with them and leave them be, as for your situation just do the best you can and give yourself all the time you need. Personally I look forward to new and hopefully better experience elsewhere in creation the next time around.
     
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  4. Lia1992

    Lia1992 Senior Member

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    Although I don’t have any conscious memories of past lives, I have a similar situation with my parents in that we have ideological political differences and also wildly different views on how to raise children. I’m a preemie too (born 6 weeks too early) and as a result I have a weak eyesight, weak hearing, a weaker finger motor control and weaker mouth muscles which meant that I couldn’t be breastfed. And since my parents have denied me the us of baby bottles and pacifiers when I still needed them, I have developed a weakness for them which led to my support of attachment parenting with extended breastfeeding, self-weaning, co-sleeping and unschooling.
    But I got a bit lost in the negativity of it blaming my parents for the life I had. True, they made some mistakes in raising a preemie with lots of problems who also happens to have Asperger‘s. But they didn’t so out of malice. It was a combination of being overwhelmed and the general consensus of the times on how children should be raised (younger parents already use wildly different methods). There are methods they could have done which they absolutely should have in my opinion but I can’t demonize them over that, which is my main point. Now I don’t know your financial situation or your job and don’t know whether you could afford it to break contact with your family. If you feel like it and are able to live independently from them, go for it. But only if you’re absolutely sure that reconciliation is impossible! I’m facing that question myself because in addition I’m also queer (trans/nonbinary) and I can’t come out to my parents because they would just see it as either „one more problem“ I have or a rebellious provocation to get their attention. But I can’t tell them why I feel misgendered if they keep calling me boy or use male pronouns without coming out. So I ponder over severing contact as well. What I‘m going for is: there is no easy immediate answer.
     
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  5. cloud potato

    cloud potato Senior Registered

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    Hello, welcome to the forum.

    There is a path that will allow you to respect your family, without jeopardizing your health. The best way to honor your ancestral lineage, the family you were born into, is to find your self. The eating habits you disagree with- the patterns or curse you wish to break... You can change all of this, and you can do it without animosity towards your family.

    I believe in God, a living Spirit. I believe you when you say you have another family out there. I also believe we are subject to the rules of this reality(not like we know them that well)- our experience in time/space with a changing body and mind. People come and go. And there will be so many you disagree with. You may even be taken by surprise by those you once found so agreeable.

    In the end, for me, it is between God and I. You may prefer to take the word God out of the equation. Let's just say it is between you and yourself. And then you will die. Something your family will go through too. For some- leaving their family was the honorable thing to do and others, unimaginable. The answer to your question isn't so black and white and I think it's because you have more to experience with your family. Even if that means you live in another state, or country- your bloodline and upbringing are still a part of your reality. But they aren't the only reality.

    So it comes back to what a friend taught me... honor your self. As you learn your self and practice the things in life that make you happy, you may find a greater understanding of your family and their behaviors. It is a step towards peaceful resolution, and a wonderful service for the bloodline you were born into.

    Best of luck, enjoy this journey. It sounds like you have many more beautiful discoveries ahead of you. :)
     
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  6. AssassinAnime

    AssassinAnime Active Member

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    Thank you, everyone who have replied to my thread.
    @Lia1992, I have read some of your reply on a previous thread on here about being a preemie. You seem like a kind girl in my eyes. I kinda of read through some of the forums before signing up on here.

    The most problem I have with my family is my mom who apparently doesn't accept the way that I dress (a tomboy) and thinks anime is immature. I try to explain myself in that regard and she just dismiss me.
    I think I will be able to spend Halloween with my chosen brother at some point or spend the holidays with a different family like one of the members on here does.
    I don't have anything in common with my mom at all except having each other astrology signs in our natal chart. I remembered that I spent eleventh and twelve grade trying to figure out why my mom was being the way she is. Maybe it's just projections and insecurities in her. I told her multiple times to stop but it doesn't work. Also she makes fun of me having a learning disability. It's bad that she treats me and my oldest younger brother bad but gives love and care to her my two youngest brothers.

    I only tried to force my beliefs in the past with an associate which was a horrible thing I done so I will not try to do that again. I will have to leave my mom's house because I can't deal with the spirits and I don't think my mom wants me to live with her forever. I hate hearing voices and an animal crawling between the walls randomly during the day and night.

    I'm excited to come back here on Earth again in my next recarnation and I will be thinking about getting a hypnotist for my two past lives. I will always have to remember that everything is a bit temporary. Maybe it's time for me to mediate and talk to Ping (tiger spirit guide).
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2021
  7. Polaris8

    Polaris8 Senior Registered

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    AssassinAnime, I can relate in terms of feeling like you don't belong to your family in this life. I was raised an only child as my mother had me out of wedlock. Back in 1959 that was considered a very big strike against you as I was a bastard child. What added insult to injury was later I came out gay. So my birth family did not want to have anything to do with me. I knew as a child I was different not only because of the gay thing but also because I felt I was an old soul as I was raised Southern Baptist like you but question everything I was taught in Sunday school. At 13 I left the church. And for awhile I was not atheist but agnostic for a few years as a teen and young adult. However when I was around 23 yrs old I had a NDE. That event changed everything. As I was out of the body above the earth looking at the sunrise on the other side of the planet. I was in all reality among the stars and during the NDE I experience briefly cosmic consciousness. It was in that moment that everything made senses to me. I became aware that not only was I eternal as soul but that I had lived thousands of lifetimes before as did all of humanity. And that all things in the cosmos are connected by divine love.

    After the experience it took me awhile to make senses of what happened to me and what it all meant. I realized that the family I was born into was karmic in nature that that I had in a way out grown them on a soul level and needed to move on to find my own soul group on my own. Over the years I realized that blood does not make a family love does. So over the years I have development a small group of souls from very different paths in life that share the same state of awareness that I do. And they are apart of my soul group as they have always been. As I have gotten older I am more at peace with life and all its craziness. As I realized that both the good and bad, the ugly and the beautiful are all apart of the duality of life on the physical plane. And that everyone and everything is exactly where they need to be in this moment. And that we are all apart of divine love or what man terms as spirit.

    So you sound a lot like me when I was young trying to find my way. In time you will as this is your soul journey you are on. I am sending you a favorite poem of mine I have always loved that would relate to you. Enjoy my dear and glad you found us on the board.

    Love and Peace.

    P.


    The Road Not Taken
    Robert Frost - 1874-1963


    Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
    And sorry I could not travel both
    And be one traveler, long I stood
    And looked down one as far as I could
    To where it bent in the undergrowth;

    Then took the other, as just as fair,
    And having perhaps the better claim,
    Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
    Though as for that the passing there
    Had worn them really about the same,

    And both that morning equally lay
    In leaves no step had trodden black.
    Oh, I kept the first for another day!
    Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
    I doubted if I should ever come back.

    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    Somewhere ages and ages hence:
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference.
     
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  8. Lia1992

    Lia1992 Senior Member

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    That's so sad to hear! I don't have siblings, unfortunately, and my parents aren't that cruel to me although I will never come out as trans/nonbinary/genderfluid to them which is sad. I also wish to reincarnate (to progressive parents and at least one sister, as you probably have read if you've come across my replies :) ) but I'm hesitant in the sense that I don't know what a world I'll be born into because as it stands we likely won't meet out climate goals which means that our next lives will likely be more difficult than those we have now.
     
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  9. RedSunshine

    RedSunshine Senior Member

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    I am sorry to hear that AssassinAnime. What we need to uncover is to know our purpose in life. Our purpose in life is to find our purpose and give our whole heart and soul to it.
     
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  10. AssassinAnime

    AssassinAnime Active Member

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    I've forgiven her for what she did to me as a child. She thinks I currently hate her but I don't anymore. I just tolerate her and other people. I experienced body shaming still by her and others but I'm learning how their hurtful words don't matter. I'm unable to love everyone like normal.

    I don't know what my spiritual purpose is but I do know that my physical purpose is to draw comics based on mental and emotional health. Why I want to draw those things is because I want teens and adults to read some things to explain their circumstance. As a child, I had anxiety, depression, and social communication disorder or SCL. I thought I was alone with dealing with my disabilities for a long until I did my research. I'm doing research on social anxiety to understand my brother and my soul twin.

    I will make a comic on social communication disorder and body shaming too. At least I want to do the uncommon ones. After that I finish the mental and emotional health ones then I will move on spirituality, different types of gods and goddesses, and other new age things. Then I could work on publishing my first journal entries into a book and other writing material. I might do storyboards for independent films or help someone else with their drawing or writing.
     
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  11. Lia1992

    Lia1992 Senior Member

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    Wow! That comic idea is great! I used to draw comics too but I switched to writing stories since then. So far I‘ve only written fanfiction, though (for Harry Potter and Doctor Who). I worked on an epic sci-fi novel for twelve years before I have it up before I was so immersed in the world-building (which is probably my actual strength, not the writing itself...).

    Since then I have created the premise of two new potential novels: one is a sci-fi one where three characters from our present wake up in a utopian future (since politics is banned here I won’t go into detail here - but it’s really progressive and inclusive) and have to figure out how to live in this society that is so alien to them.

    The other one is a fantasy novel where the main female protagonist (Who also can’t sleep from dreams about a PL) finds out that what people knew as witches are actually people who have retained the ancient wisdoms that are lost in the materialistic society that we live in and that a paradigm shift is about to take place, led by the youth of this world: souls who have realized that we can’t continue to live like we do...
     
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  12. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

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    To think most anime is more advanced and generally less toxic than most western content these days, as for your parents not liking it isn't the least bit surprising. I like to try to understand things on a deeper level that once one understands the nature of various kinds of souls one begins to see common themes that explain the traits of individuals better. This is partly why I feel like calling it quits after this round and searching out somewhere more compatible.
     
  13. AssassinAnime

    AssassinAnime Active Member

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    I used to criticize things without exploring it like her until I realized that I was wrong and changed my way of thinking. I'm not going to explain to her that's a hobby of mine because it's going to go over her head. I will retrack my statement on only having similar zodiac signs. She did talk about black culture a lot when I was growing up. I tried to enjoy it as much as possible but it got boring watching tv shows and movies. I would try to have a discussion with her on the same shows but she brushed me off.
    I might just try to stay in contact with my three brothers and two cousins.
     

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