Holocaust memory

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Jajac, Jan 18, 2020.

  1. Jajac

    Jajac Member

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    Hi, I am hoping that somebody can shed some light on this as it is something that has stayed with me for as long as I can remember.
    I was always hiding as a child, I would never sleep in my bed, always slept underneath it and my dad would have to come & put me back into bed fast asleep. I was also quite a solitary child. I used to keep a spare bag of clothes hidden in case I suddenly had to leave, although there was no reason for this as I had a very settled childhood. My nightmares were always about being chased. I read most of the Old testament by the time i was 9 or 10, although probably didnt understand it. I am also quite claustrophobic and have to check where the exits are all the time.

    At the age of about 20, I had a very vivid dream which is still crystal clear in my mind.
    I was standing in the doorway of a building and looking out over a very flat landscape with tall trees and either side. I could see one white building in the distance. On the left of the doorway was a long room, I think the floor was tiled as it had a gutter running around the room. The walls had pipes running round the top and the end of each pipe stuck out, no showerhead and no windows. It reminded me of an abattoir but there was no blood no stalls no table in the middle. I was in the doorway along with an old man with a long beard and a young boy aged about 7. I knew I was Anna and I was 12 years old. There was a tall blonde man in a black uniform and silver buttons, I believe now he was SS but at the time of the dream, I knew nothing about the war or holocaust. The blonde man said 2 of us had to die and 1 could live. The old man said he would die, and I started screaming and crying and saying I didnt want to die and i knew that meant the boy would die. The soldier then laughed and said he was joking and we all had to die but i would be going to hell.for what i did. He then took out his gun and I woke up & knew I had been shot in the side of my head. I was also thinking i should have protected the young boy. I have a large mole on the side of my head above my left ear & my younger brother has the same birthmark. My brother and I have the same birthmark

    About 10 years later i was regressed and I recalled Anna aged 8 living on a farm in France with both parents and a younger brother. It was Friday before sunset and my mother was in the kitchen preparing food for the sabbath. I could see a field full of poppies. I spoke and answered questions in french and mentioned a nearby town called Aux. I have never been to France and do not speak french at all. I had no idea that a placed Aux or Aux existed in France. I became very upset during this regression. Afterwards I read a lot of holocaust literature but I have never heard any description of a camp that would match my dream or anything matching what the room was on the left hand side of the doorway.

    Does any of this make sense to anybody ? I have visited Auschwitz and whilst I found upsetting, it did not cause me any other issues Apart from Block 11, the punishment block were they tortured and shot people, were I felt sick and very claustrophobic. I have tried looking at other camps online but nothing matches my dream.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2020
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  2. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

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    Welcome JJ, it would "make sense" to everyone here I would imagine. I'm glad that you chose to share your story, it appears that you have done quite a lot about finding information. The building you described reminds me of what was mentioned in The Cover-up at Omaha Beach by Gary Sterne, no idea if that is correct, just an impression.
     
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  3. Jajac

    Jajac Member

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    Do you know what the building was ? I've had a quick look at the book online. I couldn't see any reference to a building. I suppose I am looking for validation that such a building exists and it wasnt just a dream.
     
  4. Jajac

    Jajac Member

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    I think it might have been Aix. I know there was an internment camp there that was a former brick works and children were detained and transported from there. During the regression I mentioned I went to school in Aix or Aux.
     
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  5. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi Jajac,
    Welcome to the forum. Interesting story you told us.
     
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  6. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Hi, I held my breath reading your story as I found it very fascinating. Poor you to have gone through that when you were a kid. Did your parents believe in reincarnation ? Did you tell them anything or did your memories first surface only later when you were 20 ? Sounds as if you "only" had the symptoms of this dark past when you were so young ? Thank you so much for sharing. Wish you the best luck with this. I experienced a past life in France during meditation, but hundreds and hundreds years ago I am afraid so I am of little help. Besides these experiences of memories are too diffuse for me to be any helpful. I am hoping someone from France or someone with knowledge of this can help you. The only thing I know is that France has always seemed a little bit like home to me, why I have never known til my experience. Maybe if you have the chance to return to France you will naturally get flashbacks, remember more from this life, and hopefully good memories :)

    /Jaimie
     
  7. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    There had to be more than the historical facts known about the ways and places of the Nazis .
    Maybe this building was destroyed before liberation or that building taken down before and another built on top so no reference is around for that building ever existing ?

    I myself remember things of my life in the holocaust that I have not seen referenced in biographies of the survivors. Some things were just kept so secret ..

    But sone of those memories do ring true to my own .. I had three lives in the holocaust..

    your story with the old man and boy reminds me of my memory of being brainwashed.. ie the Nazis played with our devotion to our Jewish culture and to our people..

    . In my second memory as a four year old they brought me into a room .. this room was dark .. They brought in a Jewish woman who looked very ill and dishevelled. They were saying things like " Look at this woman , You would not like to become like her would you ? You would not like to become a mother like her ?" Then they brought in a Jewish man and did the same scenario .. >> I believe it was at this time they brought in my twin sister and forced me to hold a gun to her . Again using words to influence my thoughts about being Jewish .. I could not allow myself to remember if I was forced to pull the trigger.

    In another memory I saw a room with white tiled walls that had limbs .. ie human arms and legs hanging from the ceiling .. Maybe your memory was this room when not filled with the body parts ? This room had no windows and felt like it was in a basement . .. ie dark not like yours with the view to the outdoors It had a big window like in a freezer where you could see into the room just on walking by ...

    In that same life I was a twin used for experiments by Mengele . Me and my twin sister were sewn together on our arms. I have found reference to us in a biography of a surviving twin .. And then I remember my arm being amputated and a monkeys arm being translated on. A scenario I have not seen referenced ...
     
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  8. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    Do you know what date you were in this room ? My timeline for that life was 1944-45
     
  9. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Hello Jajac,

    My poor you, those are terrible things you remember.

    Coming from France, and having had the urge and desire to visit the places in France that are related to the Holocaust, I can give you some personal reflections regarding some city names or places you describe:
    - Were you to have been sent to an internment camp that was used for the displacement of Jewish people during the war, you would have probably spent some time in Drancy camp. Mind you, it was not a concentration camp per se, but rather a purely transit camp that did not have the purpose of hosting inmates for a long time - rather, host prisoners until the numbers allowed for a full trainload to be sent East to the concentration network. It was administered directly by the SS for most of its existence.
    - The name of Aux is a bit tricky, as in French it means "for the" (plural) and as such is very, very common in city names. It does, though, look similar to Aix-en-Provence, but is commonly referred to as Aix by locals (pronounced Aiks). Incidentally it hosted an internment/transit camp (Camp des Milles) that was mostly dedicated to the internment of male prisoners, until it became a transit camp. It was rather common for Jewish and/or political adversaries of Nazi administration and their French collaborators to seek shelter south of France, as until 1942 the southern part of France was not occupied by German authorities.

    If you need any help or guidance in how to verify any insight you have, you are most welcomed to either post here or message me privately. I would be extremely happy to help you in any way that you feel adequate.

    All the best to you, and welcome here, I pray that you will find peace in searching for answers to your questions!

    Benjamin
     
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  10. Eva1942

    Eva1942 A Walking Enigma...

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    I was a Holocaust Survivor, but because I died two months after I witnessed the Liberation of the camp I was in, I was classed as a victim.

    I was in: Theresienstadt Ghetto (late Nov 1942 to Jan/Feb 1943), Rīga Ghetto (Jan/Feb 1943/Ghetto Closure - October 1943) and finally Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration/Extermination Camp (October 1943-March 1945, witnessed the Russian/Ukrainian Liberation of the camp in January)

    I hope you find your healing, as I can attest it is not easy, but wonderful healing and liberation occurs when you face this. Currently, I am working towards my goal of revisiting both Theresienstadt and Rīga Ghettoes.

    Don’t be shy to ask me questions, I don’t mind.

    Eva x
     
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  11. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

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    Alright,, I'll ask you a question, can you describe the feelings that led you to believe in those lifetimes?
     
  12. Eva1942

    Eva1942 A Walking Enigma...

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    Are you asking me or the OP Ken?

    Eva x
     
  13. Owl

    Owl Super-alt Mitglied

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    Hello Jajac. As Benjamin was saying, you should look mostly at interment camps. If you saw a man with a long beard some time after he had arrived to the camp, that was not Auschwitz. I was looking at some pictures of interment camps in France with white buildings, you may want to check out:
    _Royallieu-Compiègne internment camp
    _ Les Mazures
    _Camp des Milles: while I do not see any white buildings at first glance, according to Wikipedia :Camp des Milles near Aix-en-Provence in the Bouches-du-Rhône, which was the largest internment camp in the southeast of France. 2,500 Jews were deported from there following the August 1942 raids
    _ Perhaps even Natzweiler Struthof?

     
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  14. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    In regards to the long bearded man would not be found in Auschwitz

    .The scenario as to my case any man could have been saved just for that purpose.. IT would be more familiar with someone with a long beard.. reminders of home .. and easier to bring fear and have more affective brainwashing influence on the young victims .
     
  15. Owl

    Owl Super-alt Mitglied

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    I think it is more likely that he was in a camp which was not as strict with shaving and disinfection as Auschwitz, than that he was used as some form of psychological torture.
     
  16. Jajac

    Jajac Member

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    I knew it was 1942 which fits in with the deportations from France
     
  17. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    ****, you'll be surprised, but I grew up 20 kms away from the Royallieu-Compiègne camp and it was never mentioned by anyone, ever, during my childhood.

    I guess you could say we have a very selective memory when it comes to our local history.
     
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  18. Jajac

    Jajac Member

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    Thank you all for your replies. I am not even sure the building was in a camp. I have tried to find out what the room leading off the doorway could be as that would help me to understand the setting. I wondered whether I had been discovered whilst hiding and killed there and then rather than being deported ?
     
  19. Eva1942

    Eva1942 A Walking Enigma...

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    I’m probably just poking about in the wind here... but some thoughts to maybe consider if you wish:

    Do you feel as if you were hiding? Jews in hiding literally hid anywhere — the ones that were not protected by marriage, just simply hid in attics, basements or any other sort of hiding place. Most actually hid their yellow stars too.

    I’m most curious about your ‘long bearded man’. Rabbi’s had often long beards and often conducted secret Torah readings in attics and basements for those game enough to seek them out and attend.

    The black uniform of the SS was phased out around 1940 and replaced with a green-grey closed collar tunic. Then roughly around late 1940, a field grey uniform was introduced to the SS too. These remained in uniform regulations until the end of war.

    Eva x
     
  20. Jajac

    Jajac Member

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    Hi Eva
    I might have been hiding as there were only 3 of us killed at the same time, and apart from the soldier there were no other people about. The landscape was very flat and you could see far into the distance. As for the uniform, it is interesting that black was phased out in 1940, as I feel certain I was 12 years of age, i gave the date 1938 in the regression and said I was 8 years of age. I just wish I knew what that room was so I could understand it all much better. I did wonder if 'aux' was Auxerre in Burgundy.
     
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  21. Morgan VK

    Morgan VK New Member

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    Hello,
    I was originally led to this forum by looking up, " SS whore and entertainers." Sadly, about 15? years ago I started having the most lucid dreams about the Holocaust and Nazi Germany. I remember that I was for some reason confirmed in a Lutheran church and could mimic fluent German at the age of 6. My mom was blown away (whom I believe to have been a brutal WF SS. ) I was pulling myself up and bopping around everywhere by the age 0f 1-year-old even! I am still dancing to this day...quite well. I remember my whole life having germans/german descent guys all over me or stalking me, but I was pulled to France and the Kaballah? Anyways, it was a "series" of dreams. One was me wearing sheer, black pantyhose with a loose garter, backed up against a wall with peeling paint, drunk with many others. (a dancer?) The other, I was in the 'front' of an old, wooden horse cart? looking back at all of these females, with a Star of David on the 'front' of their coats. (red?) There was one girl and we were just staring right through each other as we moved somewhere on the cart. It was like I could see her soul. There were a few other regressions, but I'll wait until later to tell. I go through phases of watching both German and Holocaust documentaries/movies (they have not made one yet on the bordellos). I've had many common themes. I have also lost a child to suicide, and my other son has ADHD. I've been a drunk before, a flirty lush, buying 4-hour energy drinks to stay awake with him as he gets up too early in the a.m. for me.

    I cannot fathom the wars of this planet. I am a vegan too. I care deeply for "special needs" children as they are beautiful souls. EVERY man I have married either can speak some german language, Russian and or one Jewish man who gave me my last child who is growing fast! Strange, eh? I also love both Jazz and EDM.

    I am very pulled to old TB hospitals and asylums as well. I have yet to see another female incarnate in my family but have 5 male descendants including my own two boys.

    I'm fading out now. I apologize. It always comes back to me. Are there any others like this out here? Again, I was "led" to this site I am sure, for a reason.

    To add: I met a dutchman online who absolutely said things to me that nobody has ever said to me before. Like after he ditched me; things such as, " You are a cheap whore and I am going to come to shoot you. You bit**. You slut..." (I was never with him ever?) He has been the worst thing verbally to ever happen to me yet. His blue eyes pierced my soul it seemed. Also, yet another narcissist peeling thru victim after victim on social media. The thought of this "dutchman" scares the crap out of me.

    Thank you for your time and for reading this. I look forward to joining in conversations on this forum.
     
  22. Morgan VK

    Morgan VK New Member

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    Well, as said in my 1st post on the forum. I always.always. hid from my mother somewhere. That, or would pull away from her and run as far as I could. I know now that there was nothing wrong with me, but her. More later.

    THAT building in the video that I can see above was a "watch post" for the fields. That's what I feel, anyway...
     
  23. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    Last edited: Jan 26, 2020
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  24. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Morgan,

    Welcome to the forum. I found your memories very interesting as I had never heard of the concentration camp brothels before. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_camp_brothels_in_World_War_II). I think the badge worn that had red in it probably was the red over yellow Star of David that was used for Jewish inmates who were also "political" prisoners. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_concentration_camp_badge). I couldn't help but be reminded of "Cabaret" (1972) starring Liza Minelli. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabaret_(1972_film)). If you've never seen it you might enjoy doing so. It has been almost 50 years since I saw it, but it still stands out in my mind for its portrayal of a debauched era that became ever darker with the rise of Nazism. Plus, it has some great music!

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
  25. Morgan VK

    Morgan VK New Member

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    Hello, and thank you!

    Cabaret is one of my top 5 favorite all-time movies! I love the theme and the music is something that I have danced to many times in the past.

    BTW- I am not at all surprised about the political prisoner badge discovery that you have just helped me discover. I was always pulled to "spying" on just about everything. My late husband even had a real KGB badge that is still in my possession somewhere not at my home. (not a coincidence)

    I remember memorizing all the 80's german pop songs like, "Der Komissar" and "99 luft balloons" like nursery rhymes. It is no wonder that I became a "sub" per se in this lifetime, but a few gents went too far, but maybe I had it coming to me too. Karma...

    I am so delighted to have been led to this group finally. Does anybody have a child with Asperger's in here, btw?

    Going to listen to my Cabaret soundtrack now. Ha ha.

    I forgot to add that one of the lucid dreams had me with someone who kept making me write the name or word " Nazra", over and over and over... Sounds like Mszna or Maszna a little. Look at the letters.
     
  26. Morgan VK

    Morgan VK New Member

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    I just saw a photograph of "Feld-Hure" and had two revelations. First, I REFUSE to have a tattoo for some reason. 2nd, where this feld-hure tattoo is, I have three moles on my chest that make an upside-down triangle. One small mole on each boob, and one in the middle.

    I'm feeling kind of odd right now. sorry
     
  27. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    ...I was chronically ill with what would be diagnosed as autism if I was young.. SO I had mild Aspergers as a kid and got totally debilitated age 25 two days after taking a drug to kill off parasites which set my body into severe inflammation .. I am just finding a lot of healing and feeling " normal " for the first time since being a toddler..


    Why do you ask > ?
     
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  28. Morgan VK

    Morgan VK New Member

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    BOTH my son and I also have a very mild form of Asperger's... I blame Karma and mercury. My son? He was a victim of the Holocaust with other children. I KNOW IT.
     
  29. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    I have near been healed of my severe problems .. Just this month my long standing movement and chronic intestinal pain of 45 years has been going away ..

    I have had help mostly through homeopathy. A few remedies were given to me that are specific for my memories of my past lives.. I plan on writing soon about this on this forum ... Alot of my problems started with vacsine damage .... Plus the ancestral stressors I was born into. Homeopathy can help with this as well ..
    Best wishes in finding relief ..
     
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  30. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    [QUOTE="Morgan VK, post: 122900, member: 11529

    I forgot to add that one of the lucid dreams had me with someone who kept making me write the name or word " Nazra", over and over and over... Sounds like Mszna or Maszna a little. Look at the letters.[/QUOTE]

    Not sure if you noticed that the book by Sue Randall is named Masza > Sue had flashbacks of her life to the time she spent in the brothels in Auschwitz.
     

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