Holocaust PL--effects?

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Tourmaline, Apr 13, 2016.

  1. Tourmaline

    Tourmaline Active Member

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    Hi, I'm Tourmaline. I've been reading this forum for a while, but have avoided posting until now for fear it would open up a can of worms that I try to keep at least half-way shut. But I want to share with others with similar possible PLs, so here goes.


    From infancy/toddlerhood, I had a severe phobia of dogs and trains despite never having a bad experience with either. When I was two I had never seen a train, but my parents tell me I screamed if one came on TV and when they bought me a toy train. (Soon hidden safely away, after many tears.) It would be interesting to know what my thoughts were, but of course I don't remember.


    Neighbors knew to lock up their dogs when I came over to play. They thought a dog had bitten me, but it wasn't true. I was just scared of them. I was scared of a lot of things. I had terrible separation anxiety. My earliest memories are stomachaches, panic attacks, thinking I couldn't breathe. (18 months-3yrs.)


    I had what I believe to be a past-life flashback when I was nine. I lost touch with reality and entered a "deportation scene." Train station, people in 1940s clothes, fear, chaos. I did not per say know about the Holocaust, so I did not connect it with that or the train phobia.


    When i was 11 we studied the Holocaust in school. I was so terrified of learning about "it" that I had nightmares every night and went to school trembling. My feeling was a lot of fear but also shame, like I couldn't bear for my classmates to find out the "shameful" things that had happened to me/us.


    From that time on I was obsessed. 24/7, awake, asleep, that time in history seemed more real than my current life. If it makes sense to any of you I kind of --age 30--feel like I am seeing my current life through the gray lens of the past.


    For a few years I have entertained the idea of this being a past life. I have an open mind but also some skepticism. Not too interested in doing a regression or in-depth research right now. I am getting in contact, on my own, with my past life holocaust self (I'm sure you know what I mean) and just trying to tell her she is safe and good and loved. I believe she/I internalized the anti-semitic messages of the time. I am hoping this will help with severe depression, anxiety, numbness.


    I don't know if I had a holocaust PL or am just an anxious person. I am wondering how Holocaust past lives have affected people's current lives, and what it feels like to heal that.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 14, 2016
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  2. Isha

    Isha Senior Registered

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    Hi Tourmaline.


    I am also new here, and have recently started a thread about my Holocaust PL memories and the healing from it here .


    I was told there are several members on this forum with PL memories of the Holocaust too. Have you done a search on the topic here on the forum?


    I'm glad you posted, that in itself is a start to possible healing!
     
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  3. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    Hi Tourmaline,


    Welcome to the forum.


    Sounds like a past life memory to me. It's far more common than most people think. From what you say I would tend to agree that these feelings relate to a past life.

     
  4. Isha

    Isha Senior Registered

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    You hit the nail on the head! That's exactly how it feels!
     
  5. Tourmaline

    Tourmaline Active Member

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    A belated thank you for your replies, Isha and Tanguerra. Isha, I read your powerful story. Triggers--yes Tanguerra. That is exactly what it is, and there are a million. I am connecting seemingly meaningless fears and quirks to things that happened then--and I realize I am afraid of something in the past, not now, and am not crazy. So helpful.
     
  6. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    Not crazy at all. Perfectly understandable.

    The more you do some work on it, the more sense it will start to make. You don't have to relive it all or anything like that. You're fine. You're safe. But just being aware of what is happening is the first step to putting it in some kind of perspective.


    Start keeping a journal if you have not already. Keep us posted on anything else that comes up or anything at all you want to share.
     
  7. Isha

    Isha Senior Registered

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  8. ZeonChar

    ZeonChar Senior Member

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    There are things you describe that are very familiar and are similar to what others describe in relation to having past life memories. Mainly your reaction to the subject as well as the interest in learning more about what happened. I can relate a lot to saying you view your current life through the lens of the past. I hope you find peace.
     
  9. Tourmaline

    Tourmaline Active Member

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    Thank you Tanguerra, Isha, ZeonChar. So it's been about a month since I made the decision to treat myself as someone suffering past life trauma rather than someone who was crazy/bad. To accept my memories as real. I decided to stop beating myself up for my emotions and fears related to that life. The results have been sudden and astounding. Accepting this has been a relief. I am actually feeling things like relaxation, happiness and peace for the first time in my adult life. I am starting to feel like I am in THIS lifetime. Most people I know have commented on the change in me. Of course the work is ongoing--but I see I am on the right path.
     
  10. Isha

    Isha Senior Registered

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    That's wonderful to hear! It's a huge step to be able to realise that' date=' accept it, and treat yourself as someone who [i']has been[/i] traumatized in a PL, which you were! I also can completely relate to the previous feeling of being bad/crazy/something "wrong" with you. That's a horrible feeling and so difficult when it impacts your current life. And such a relief(!) to be able to shed that negative self talk for something that wasn't your fault, and to now be able to treat yourself with understanding and kindness.
    And this says A LOT! You are definitely on the right path. The fact that you feel relief, relaxation, happiness and peace for the first time just confirms that you're correct about the trauma/negativity stemming from a PL. And the fact that other people are noticing the change in you further proves that you are indeed on the right path. Much peace to you as you continue on in THIS life, without the baggage from the the PL! hug2.gif
     
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  11. Tourmaline

    Tourmaline Active Member

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    hug2.gifIsha. So wonderful to hear the kind words of someones who understands.
     
  12. Isha

    Isha Senior Registered

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    You've made a big positive change, and I just want to tell you how great it is!!! :)
     
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  13. Eva1942

    Eva1942 A Walking Enigma...

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    The word Holocaust is " a sacrifice completely consumed by fire, a burnt offering." The Hebrew is "Shoah". Do you recall what year in the 1940's it was? It didn't really start to get very bad until late 1942 until early 1945, but from 1940 to middle 1942 it was controllable but not in the fashion they had hoped. This maybe confronting but a lot of those images you recall happened at the larger camps such as Auschwitz-Birkenau, Dachau, Sashenhausen and another I cannot recall the name. Could it be possible that this relates to one of the these? Also when researching this please don't use modern media as it dramatises and exaggerates the Holocaust. Instead search for Yad Vashem Museum's website and also the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum's video collection. Some will be confronting but it may/will give you the true answers you need.


    There is a thread I posted today about my journey with the Jewish Final Solution and the Holocaust just search for 'I loved a Nazi' ( I can't work out how to post links yet) I myself am still struggling to comprehend my past life around this time too. Not as a victim as but as a spouse/girlfriend. Let me know how you get on :)


    Eva x
     
  14. lilly

    lilly New Member

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    It is important to remember that Holocaust victims were not the only one who were sent by train to camps. But it was also happening in Soviet Union for example and for much longer. Just saying it, maybe it will turn out helpful to someone :)


    But I must say Tourmaline, that I am very very happy for you! I am glad that you finally feel relaxation and happiness! I hope that when time is right, you will find all the answers you seek and most importantly, peace. And that this past you will finally get deserved rest :)
     
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  15. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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  16. Tourmaline

    Tourmaline Active Member

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    It's been a little over two months...still feeling better at times, but one interesting thing is that along with the new positive emotions, I have started to have severe anxiety. Sometimes it seems to be triggered by PL things, sometimes I am not sure. Now anxiety is nothing new for me, as I have said, but I wonder if once I accepted that past life trauma was affecting me, now more explicit memories are wanting to come through and that is causing anxiety.


    I'm thinking about writing my whole story, but of course it is very personal and I am kind of shy on public forums. I may write it up just for myself, at least.


    It is funny though...paradoxical...the more I take all this past life stuff seriously the more I feel "in the present."
     
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  17. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    HI Tourmaline.. rather coincidental as I have not been on this group for a while and have returned as I am having problems with my holocaust experiences..and this was the first thread I saw ..


    I was like you .. had a flashback to a holocaust life { I saw my body being put into an oven } and from then on was obssessed with reading . all the biographys of survivors I could get my hands on , movies and documentaries.. I belonged to a yahoo group that has not gone quiet specific for people with holocaust past life memories . called Unlocking the Door .


    I am finding a need to get help physically along with doing some regression therapy.. .. I have suffered from chronic fatigue, seizures, crohns , food sensitiivities etc for 40 years and just now getting help through energy work using Heilkunst homeopathy.. It is helping me to get more in touch with my strengths to be able to face my memories and stop triggering .. seeing that those were indeed in my past and i no longer need to worry about those traumas..


    Heilkunst is good in that my practitioner recognises the affects of stress from past lives. If interested I can share more ..


    I am having difficulties with the worst.. I had three lives in the holocaust .. yep three.. dying young I packed in three.. I have had to go and do regression work to my time spent between lives .. called the bardo .. This regression work has given me alot more insight into how my feelings have evolved and helped me to release some of the triggering. I had one regression done by a professional , then due to financial limits have done self regression since..


    It can be difficult to take it all seriously but glad you have chosen to as it does make our life easier and yes feel more in the present..
     
  18. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    Sometimes when people begin to acknowledge their past lives, understand what has happened in the past and bring up all those old feelings it can be unsettling at first. That's normal, and that's OK. I strongly recommend you start your own journal and write it all down for your eyes only. You can share just the bits you want to share here, or talk about things that are bothering you and get some reassurance and advice from some of the lovely people here.


    Sometimes, especially when you first start you will get a 'flood' of memories coming through. Don't be afraid, it doesn't mean this is your life now. It usually stops after a while. Again, writing it down is very helpful and can stop you going over and over it in your mind.


    You will most likely find that it will settle down after a while and you will just not worry about it so much. Like with most emotional things, bottling it up usually makes it worse.
     
  19. Leaf

    Leaf Member

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    Hi Tourmaline and everybody.


    I’m new in this site and English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes.


    Tourmaline, I can relate to most things you told on this thread.


    I also want to share with others with similar possible PLs, as you said above.


    I've had quite a few problems with anxiety and depression during my current life. Three years ago I started having memories of a life in WWII and an extermination camp where” I” died.


    This agrees with other signs throughout my life, for example since I was small I was very concerned about issues such as war, death, torture, prisons, although fortunately I had no contact with any of those things in my childhood. And when I was a teenager, I was obsessed with the Holocaust. I can’t remember exactly when it started but for several years I've been reading books and watching movies and documentaries about Jews, about WWII and the Holocaust. They actually made me feel terrible sometimes, but it was like I couldn’t help it. The issue of concentration camps always gave me an emotional storm, but at the same time I needed know more, it was like I was looking for something very important for me.


    For the last three years I have been researching about reincarnation and trying to get more memories and more data about my former self. I’m a woman in her fifties now but in these memories I am a young man about 22.


    I know that talking about these things is not easy at all, share what you are ready and want to share… but I think talking is often very good to integrate those emotions gradually and understand yourself better. If you can express yourself, you are already getting rid of a burden, in some measure, and also it serves to organize your thoughts and gather feedback from others. All this has been a great help to me.


    I think that remembering such a past-lives experiences gives us the chance to process and overcome traumatic events we lived. We could not do it then and as a consequence, now we have both the problem and the opportunity to finally transcend it.


    I think this is a long distance race, but step by step we get closer to be more complete persons, stronger and freer.
     
  20. Tourmaline

    Tourmaline Active Member

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    Well, it has been a hellish year. My levels of depression and anxiety have caused me a lot of impairment and suffering. No therapy or medication works. I have trouble sleeping. I am not blaming this all on past life issues, who knows where mental illness comes from, but it does seem to be a factor. I am scared to do a past life regression, although I guess, how could I feel worse?

    I think of that time constantly.

    Two things triggered the past life survivor inside me--holocaust art that I was making, and the current political situation.
    I don't know if it works that way for other people, but I connect to my past life personality, her memories, fears, opinions, likes. My life goes okay when I love her, comfort her, believe her. It falls apart when I don't. But I am afraid to believe myself, to take this as reality, despite evidence.

    I have started writing, as many suggested. I hope that helps.
     
  21. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

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    Tourmaline, I can not help with parts of what problems you write about, but I can help with one. The anxiety and fear of the recurring visions, if there any of those. When you see an image that is causing a problem, intentionally change it, change the color of something in it, change the size of something it, do something like that to it so that you come to realize that you can control it.
    In this way you can allow it to be seen and thus be dealt with and resolved, probably in a short time.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2017
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  22. Leaf

    Leaf Member

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    Hi Tourmaline. I know that can be a hellish time. In my case, writing was good for me because I could express all that stuff and get it out, in some measure. Talking with people that understand me helped too.
    As you say, maybe not all feelings come only from this past life. Some situations/issues/emotions belonging to this current life but at the same time related to a past life can exacerbate anxiety and depression, because they are a problem now and also trigger your anxiety for the problems of before. You can more easily solve those of this life, you have them now in your hands. This can help with the PL issues, too. Sometimes it seems that my PL self needs that I am happy in this life so that "his" story has a better end. On some occasions, the hardness of the old times even give you strength to face challenges of the present.

    I guess your PL self needs you to take care of her, after all she is a part of you that is hurting. But although you were this same person, now you are not living her life. Remember you have your own.
    I hope you get better soon... but take it easy, processing takes time. Cheer up! you can do it.
    I wish you the best, from the heart.
     
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  23. Yael

    Yael Member

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    Well, I'm coming into this late, having found this forum while searching this very topic: memories of the Shoah that we could not possibly have lived. Tourmaline, the way your memories have affected you is very similar to my own experience, and to what I've heard from others. There used to be a support group specifically for people with such memories, but I believe it is no longer active. But no, you are definitely not alone!
     
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  24. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    Another one with a related memory/memories of a Jewish Polish boy who died at outbreak of the war. Will probably start my own thread with the little memories that I do have. Lately, my little life (as I call him) has been pushing through. I think that such suffering, as hard as it is to recall, does need to be recognised.
     
  25. yvettebruneau

    yvettebruneau Senior Member

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    Another victim of the Holocaust here.

    An Anglo-French woman working for the English Secret Services, who was captured on her second mission [just after D-Day, though that's unimportant] and sent ultimately to Ravensbruck. She was worked to within an inch of her life, but maintained her optimism of escaping. Eventually, the Reich gave the order for her execution, and she was shot in the back of the neck.

    I am only just starting to discover my past life, after months of confusion as to who I was, so I've not yet unlocked the darker memories. I'm still lingering in the joys of the relationships made and experienced. But, I have long felt that I was French, to some degree, and that I was killed in the Holocaust [rather than just the war, it was the Holocaust specifically] at an age that could still be considered youthful. My past self was killed at the age of 22-23.

    As for the effects, I have felt something of a deeper depression since discovering my past. But, I have also experienced the determination she felt, the not wanting to give in, and it's somewhat... affirming? There are positives in my past, as well, despite the horrors. She was determined until the very end, or stubborn. Which has carried on into this life. I am stubborn, and I don't give in easily.
     
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  26. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    Glad you are finally getting answers, Yvette.

    I’ve not seen my death as Yosef fully. Yesterday something came to me but I’m reluctant to research it till I have more answers. It was something like a shower, and a fine mist that clouded over us, it was almost opaque. The imagery was so far from me that I am not drawing conclusions. That possibly relates to something I hated as a child. I could not stand having water poured onto my head and would stand crying and try to climb the bathroom tiles when my mother washed my hair. Was not much than a year old old when I did that.
     
  27. yvettebruneau

    yvettebruneau Senior Member

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    Sounds like the gas chambers, landsend. Sometimes, the prisoners would be tricked. It would either be gas or water. So, your childhood ‘fears’ could be linked to that. Yosef would not have known, from day to day, what was going to come out of the pipes.
     
  28. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    Ah... you know I'm fearful about all this. He was so young in all my visions. Barely over five years old, I'd say. Everything was confusing. The only comfort he had was his mothers hand, and his Teddy. I will have to face it at some point because it won't leave me alone and still causes me much sorrow. Am leaving the research for later, as I want to receive more impressions first. Will make a post with my reflections at some point.
     
  29. yvettebruneau

    yvettebruneau Senior Member

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    I can completely sympathise/empathise [I never know which to use]. As mentioned above, my past self was executed by a bullet to the back of the neck after months and months of various tortures [some unspeakable, at the hands of the Gestapo].

    I have an underlying fear of what I'm going to see, but I feel I need to witness those memories. To both confirm that I had the past life I believe I had, and to know that there can be strength and hope even in the darkest times [the tortures, not the ending]. But, right now, I feel some of those souls who were with me in those days are keeping me from them, until I am prepared enough to know the truth.

    I'm even actually using my past self and one of her companions [Harry, who I keep mentioning around here] as inspiration for characters in a story based around the idea of The Man in the High Castle [an interesting view of how the world would have been, if the Axis Powers had won the war].

    Try to focus on the good memories, seek the happier times, until you feel 'comfortable' enough to unlock the darkened door [as I call the nastier memories]. See if Yosef's mother can guide you through early childhood and their pre-war days. Harry keeps taking me dancing, in my subconscious!
     
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  30. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    I definitely can relate to that. Even thought it wasn't the Holocaust. The fear and the need to still see more and confirm a few things still is similar.
     

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