I had a very traumatic death or more in past live

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Diana88, Jan 26, 2020.

  1. Diana88

    Diana88 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2020
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    I am new here.

    I don't see visions or something. But I know that unexplained fears in this life time is from past lives. I have extreem anxiety about death. It drives me crazy. I can't sleep at night because of this. I am very scared to lose consciousness very fast. Especially when accepting death. I am so scared to get a very light head. Sometimes I feel this very light head and I associate it with dying. I think you get very light headed when your energy in your head is leaving your head. Also when your soul leaves through your head. I am also terrified of air hunger when dying.
    How do I get over this? I don't need past lives fears in this lifetime. I just see it as an opportunity to get over it. Is it possible to get completely over fear of death including how you died in a past life? For me it's crazy that I fear death so much. I died a million times because my soul is that old.
    Thank you for replying
     
    Jaimie likes this.
  2. Sheeply

    Sheeply Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2019
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    44
    Hey,

    I know what having death anxiety is like. It’s terrible. It’s hard to get over as well because, even for me who does believe, you just have that inkling that you’re wrong about all this and then you go around in circles.

    I’m super glad I found this forum because it really helped me with that.
    I don’t know what country you’re from but you could try getting referred to a CBT therapist. In the UK it’s free. I did it for my health anxiety as that was was fuelling my death anxiety. It really helps. It basically gets you to realise that your anxiety is fuelling itself and gets you to work on noticing when you’re having a panic attack and how to deal with it.

    but yeah, it’s really scary. My tips are try and distract yourself. If you find yourself falling down a hole of anxiety about dying, just get up, turn on the light and go watch TV or get a hobby.
    !!DO NOT!! Look up stuff about death online whilst having an anxiety episode. Trust me, it makes it worse.

    Here’s what my counsellor told me: Recognise the thoughts when they come into your head. Maybe tell yourself “oh, it’s that (name it whatever doesn’t matter) it’s there... cool” and then just move it. The anxiety is like a needy person X3 and if you don’t give it what it wants it’ll go away. If you pay attention to it it’ll get bigger and make you distressed.

    In short: 1) recognise when you’re having an anxiety attack

    2) don’t try and fight it. It’s going to happen. When it’s happening try and block out the thoughts by turning on the light, watching tv, turning on radio. Anything that has sound so you don’t have to listen to your thoughts.
    or if you live with someone talk to them/ call someone up and talk to them about something other than the death stuff

    But the number one thing to remember is if you fight it, maybe by screaming or running away or hitting stuff, you’re just conditioning yourself to get even more scared the next time it happens. The Number One thing is to get out of the situation and relax!
    maybe try breathing techniques and calm music if the tv or radio doesn’t work for you.

    3) just remember an anxiety attack can give you symptoms that make you feel like you’re gunna die (inc or dec heart rate. Fast breathing. Light headedness, feeling sick etc). Just tell yourself this is anxiety. You’re not dying.

    I hope this helped. I’m so sorry you’re going through this because it can feel like hell on Earth. I really suggest looking for free or subsidised counselling in your country.
     
    fireflydancing and Jaimie like this.
  3. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2019
    Messages:
    669
    Likes Received:
    377
    Hi Diana88 !

    I'm sorry for you having it so difficult. i wrote a long reply before, but regretted it as it got to be way too long. I will try to shorten myself in this reply instead. I use to have a childhood returning nightmare about being a woman who died. It was as if she died from the within. I could not explain it more than that the last person she saw did not help her, did not call 911 even if it was so obvious something had sadly gone wrong. They had a fight just before.

    Many years later I found out about my past life. But what I read about her death did not at all summon up what I remembered had happened.

    It was not until I had the rare opportunity to get access to a private investigation that had been going on as well, beside the police report, with the support of her family and ex husband ( who was her friend when she past away after years of a stormy past. ) as either her family nor her ex husband were pleased with the result from the police's work and the police was of cource frustraded too as they knew things had been tampered with, but lacked enough proof.

    When a friend of mine had an allergic reaction and I went through her bag like a crazy person to give her medication as fast as I could, I saw with my own eyes the type or reaction she had and it was like this echo in my mind. This was how past life me had died. It was as if I had been trapped on the inside, and my poor friend showed me just that, that this could be possible. She is well today, by the way, but she always has to have her meds with her just in case.

    Nowadays I am not bothered by it like I use to be. I knew it happened the way I remembered it to have happened. I know it happened in that life. Not in this one.

    It is like another past life of mine. I drowned. Still I have always loved to swim, but I have had this thing about not wanting to be out on a boat and swim where there is dark water, where I can't see if I dive under. After remembering it and going through it step by step ( I died in dark water trying to rescue a little kid from going into it ) I am strangely now less afraid of it, but I still have respect for it.

    As your fear is so strong, and believe me I am the last to blame you, I think what Sheeply advised was very wise. If you can get the anxiety away or make it smaller you can perhaps identify if it is past life related, and go through it step by step, and see that it belongs in the past and not in the present, almost like a distant dream. I know this is easier said than done, but please don't give up. You will feel so much better later on.

    /Jaimie
     
  4. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2014
    Messages:
    1,874
    Likes Received:
    1,198
    Location:
    SW Ohio, USA
    Hi Diana, what do you feel like you would be losing other than your life? I suspect that there is more to it than what you stated.
     
  5. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2005
    Messages:
    83
    Likes Received:
    56
    Location:
    ontario, canada
    I have found it has to do with the health of my body .. ie anxiety with weakness and fears can also be tied in to different states of the our organs.. IN Chinese medicine fear is associated with weak kidneys .. anger to liver , grief to lungs and large intestine >
    One can get to not being able to differientiate between how your body is affecting emotions and ones thoughts.. I plan on writing soon about this as I had been having a lot of problems with triggering to my past life memories . Now that I have found help physically through homeopathic treatment it is easier to differentiate.. and tell where things are coming from ..
     
  6. Diana88

    Diana88 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2020
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    I am associating a very light head with dying. I actually had a panic attack when a doctor gave me local anesthesia. Because that local anesthesia is going through your body.
    And because I have read in december about air hunger jt just makes me more terrified. Thinking back in my live I associated air hunger with drowning. So I think death feels like drowning because at some point your brain will scream OXIGEN. I am also so super scared to get unconscious very fast. It freaks me out. For me accepting death is losing your consciousness very fast.
    Each time I had a very light head in my head I panicked completely.
    I need to go to the hospice to see people die.
    And for some very odd reason I am also terrified of morfine
     
  7. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2019
    Messages:
    669
    Likes Received:
    377
    This may not make it feel better but I will try. I have lost unconsciousness, fainted and had been given morphine -- all 3 different times. It was all pleasant. I was in physical pain and was then released temporarily from it. Could your fear come from not being in control perhaps ?
     
  8. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2014
    Messages:
    1,874
    Likes Received:
    1,198
    Location:
    SW Ohio, USA
    Thank you for breaking it down into pieces that can be dealt with. Several of those pieces are about losing things about "your" body as if it is "you", which is only a temporary vehicle that you use to play the character in this theatrical performance called "lifetime". If you live long enough, you will come to the point of wanting out of that vehicle. The ad libed/free will performance gives way to the next phase of the cycle.

    You have a choice, you can die a thousand-deaths by dwelling on it, watch it happen, or simply do it via an extra-point that you have agreed to before you were born IMO.
     
  9. Diana88

    Diana88 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2020
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    Yes I am terrified of losing control of myself. Of my body, emotions. But on emotional level I am getting a little bit loos and that it is ok to cry etc. But my body? Terrified as hell.
     
  10. Diana88

    Diana88 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2020
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    When I am too old for my taste I will be hungry to die. I am very sure of that. Probably even get frustrated that my body doesn't shut down when I am 8p years old and older. I know I will go home. I see ghosts my entire life etc. It's just the dying process. I even asked a question on quara if people will panic when they are dying and loosing oxigen. He replied that people are beyond panic. I need to expose myself to see people dying. Because I am so terrified to see it. I am also terrified to see dead people. It's time to go to the hospice. But still. Accepting your own death is different lol. I know I will have angels. I know if my sister is dead before me she is gonne be there
     
  11. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2014
    Messages:
    1,874
    Likes Received:
    1,198
    Location:
    SW Ohio, USA
    Having been under Hospice supervision now for two months, I think I can claim some knowledge in this area.
    You can choose to hate it, fear it, examine it, or welcome it. I chose to examine what was going on with my body, how people now avoid me, etc., and learn the information I'm being given.

    I become acutely aware of my own actions and reactions in similar circumstances when I was in their position. From where I see things, attitude is pretty much a method of dealing with everything.
     
    SeaAndSky and Speedwell like this.
  12. Li-la

    Li-la Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2019
    Messages:
    282
    Likes Received:
    210
    Hi, I think if you find the source where you had this death you will fix this fright you have. But before so imagine to store away the fear in a box. Ask guardian angel to stay with you during the meditation. You can fix this.

    Best Wishes
    Li La
     
  13. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2019
    Messages:
    669
    Likes Received:
    377
    Ok, Im so sorry about that. Ive read one of your replies where you were told people were beyond panic. Ive seen lots of deaths in my work. The person is weakened and dont show sign of panic. We have meds to relieve if there is any pain so the person wont suffer physically. If there was to be panic which I have not seen then logically it will not last long before the pleasant feeling come. Someone I loved in my personal life I had to hurry to get too, afraid I would not get there in time, his breathing was hectic, but his eyes were closed when I got there. I came close and talked, held him, his breathing stopped being so intense and slowly on its own stopped. Later the doc said to someone that he should have died predicted hours before I got there. I cant tell you how relieved I was I came in time. I loved, love him so much. Later, days, weeks, I can not remember all of a sudden in my car I could smell him and then the radio channel began mixing on its own and one of his favorite song played through, yellow ribbon. That I never heard otherwise on the radio, when he played it to me he had to get one of his old records. Maybe in the car it was his sign of letting me know he was fine, he had come home, as it goes in the song. I think your fear is at the stage of phoebia which you cant help at this stage. In your case because you suffer so much of it right now you need to take it slow, bit by bit using help of a therapeut that will work alongside your own inner work with this. Wish you the best.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2020
  14. Diana88

    Diana88 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2020
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    I am also terrified being conscious before I am dead. I am so scared to slip away fast. If I slip away when I am sleeping than ok. I don't want to be conscious with the death rattle because they choke and I understand that because lose of oxigen. I don't want to be conscious with my last breath
     
  15. Cyrus

    Cyrus Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2018
    Messages:
    367
    Likes Received:
    271
    Location:
    Spain
    What I can't understand, is how can death - any death - matter, when I am firmly sure that there will be re-incarnation after all.
    Some unpleasant moments of my material biological body dying could be well worth while knowing that my spiritual existence is eternal, and even my physical existence can be freshly re-started anew as soon as I'm ready for it. It's more like an actor suffering for a death of one of the movie's characters, when he/she has already interpreted and will yet interpret so many of them. This can hardly be taken seriously.

    All these sufferings and talks of traumas and healing after some tragic events in one of our so many PLs are only due to the fact that we are NOT at all sure of the re-incarnation and that somewhere deep inside our consciences we are convinced that THIS existence, which is now coming to a real and definitive end, is the ONLY ever possible, and that there will be no fresh restart.
     
  16. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2019
    Messages:
    669
    Likes Received:
    377
    alright, I understand. Have you ever fainted in your life ? Or have you , like under operation been under sedation ? I've fainted and it was not unpleasant, it was right before but it went so fast, and then when I came back again, but there was something very pleasant in between. The sedation under operation - I thought they were gonna have a problem doing it to me, one count but think to one self, yeah, right, this is not gonna work on me so easily -- and then you're out. It was a slow return, but pleasant too. It was alright. I suppose what I wish to say is please don't worry about this, but it is easier said than done, I know.
     
  17. cloud potato

    cloud potato Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2013
    Messages:
    302
    Likes Received:
    295
    hello,
    i haven't advice for you but wanted to reply because i can relate. recently i felt it very important to welcome death and become familiar with it. i can say that i am scared to die, that my faith will be tested when the time comes. i believe in god and the soul but i've become so identified with this immediate reality and i appreciate *my* life. breath is the most intimate, to lose it is terrifying. still, i don't want this fear to rule me. so it is a choice, and it is a choice to go out like a bad *** when the time comes. will i be scared? yes. will i fight? most likely. i know like anything else here it's all momentary, and in the meantime, i will better prepare myself. with that said-
    there's something else to consider- though we have these fears, how many of us are willing to take the discipline necessary to overcome them? whatever you decide- do you want to be riddled with anxiety over the inevitable?

    i was reminded of this quote from autobiography of a yogi but i can not find it. i believe in it yogananda describes how even the well-trained guru who on his last breath had a tinge of fear as death approached him- basically describing what looked like a domesticated bird scared to leave the confines of its cage.

    but here is one i could find i also thought to share with you...
    "Remember that you belong to no one and that no one belongs to you. Reflect that some day you will suddenly have to leave everything in this world - so make the acquaintance of God now. Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by riding daily in a balloon of divine perception. Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones, which at best is a nest of troubles. Meditate unceasingly, that you quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence, free from every form of misery. Cease being a prisoner of the body; using the secret key of Kriya, learn to escape into Spirit." - Lahiri Mahasaya.

    and, when asked- what happens when you die? the teacher replied, "that is a question for someone that will die. i will go on and live"

    death is a part of life, more like a shadow to life- not really anything more than energy transference- we're scared because we think this is our only means for intelligent operation.
    good luck to you! welcome to the forums :)
     
  18. Diana88

    Diana88 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2020
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    I am terrified of sedation. The faster it happens the more scared I am. So losing consciousness so fast is so terrifiening to me. If it just like falling asleep. I need a few hours to fall asleep than ok
     
  19. Diana88

    Diana88 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2020
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    I want to em race death as a friend. That is my goal. I am going home. But man. The dying process is so scary.
    I just want to be with my sister when she is dead. When I die I want to leave a positive impression. I don't want anyone to cry but celebrate. I want to fill up the room with love and respect and loyalty. But still. I have to get over this
     
    cloud potato likes this.
  20. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2014
    Messages:
    1,874
    Likes Received:
    1,198
    Location:
    SW Ohio, USA
    I feel as though I'm not being heard here, I'm speaking about what is going on with me right now. The process is usually without trauma beyond that created by the dying person themselves because of their being faced with their own convictions and truly having to trust them to get you through it.

    I can talk openly with the Hospice nurse and chaplain (as I do here) about my experiences and beliefs, surprisingly, they are unfamiliar with reincarnation! Yep I have a captive-audiance that I take advantage of.

    Now, back to the topic - as I said to a friend earlier today in another country...
    Years ago, when I was just a boy, my Dad told me a story about someone (real or fictional) that imprisoned a man in a cell. He told the imprisoned man that he would unlock the cell door the morning after the full day he had not thought about a RED BIRD.

    I think that each of us have our Red Birds that keep us imprisoned, what are your thoughts?
     
    SeaAndSky and Speedwell like this.
  21. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2014
    Messages:
    1,552
    Likes Received:
    1,311
    Location:
    Florida, USA
    Hi Ken,

    Agreed in terms of the "Red Bird". OTOH, I know what it is like to have something I cannot stand to think about. I have mentioned this before. It doesn't directly involve death, though I suppose that would be the end result with enough time. And, I do assiduously avoid thinking about it, though I can kind of slide around it as long as I don't focus on it for too long.

    However, Diana's big fear apparently has to do with loss of consciousness and a variety of other things that have to do with death (at least in her mind). These things don't bother me too much, and I assume they will just be temporary issues on the way out of the body. I can't diss her too much on this. Each of us has his/her own special FEARS. Also, like Tanker, I definitely "mind" how I get there. I'm a total chicken when it comes to extreme suffering, etc. I want to "transition" as "smoothly and painlessly" as possible! o_O

    Still, in terms of the overall concept, I'm just talking the talk. You're the one walking the walk. And, I like the way you're doing it. ;)

    Cordially,
    S&S

    PS--Interesting that the nurse and chaplain are dealing with reincarnation as something they haven't dealt with before. There must be a lot of Christians who are "holding their peace" on this subject during Hospice care since the various polls show about 25% of Christians are reincarnationists.
     
  22. Diana88

    Diana88 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2020
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    Like I said. I want to embrace death as a friend. Not with fear. And thankfully because of my fear of dying I am thinking what I want to leave behind.. Love. Respect. Loyalty. Honesty. I don't want people to suffer and mourn and cry about me. I want them to celebrate. I don't want no heart break that I give to people when I am dead.
    I am just so terrified to be light headed. For me that means the soul goes out of your head and not your chest. I am terrified of losing consciousness so fast. And I do wonder why on earth people are dying during the day in general and not when they sleep at night. I just want to sleep at night and go. Can your loved ones who already are crossed over pick you up when you sleep at night or do you have to be conscious with your last breath and than they pick you up? It's very strange to me if they don't pick you up at night when your sleeping. I just can't wrap my head around this. Or maybe those people who died in their sleep can't tell the story of they were alone or picked up. I just don't know.
     
  23. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2014
    Messages:
    1,874
    Likes Received:
    1,198
    Location:
    SW Ohio, USA
    Diana's need for control is understandable, everyone wants to be in charge of their life. The first (earliest) paper I typed and kept was about my desire to be on my own independence of my parents as a teenager. We think we know things that we don't, only to discover it piecemeal until we have our Ah-Haah (gestalt) moments of it coming together. I'm awe-struck by tanker's post about crashing through an automobile windshield yet fearing death. There are many sources of pain. I've had gall stones that led to a three-week hospital stay after surgery, kidney stones for about a decade, other self-induced pains like smashing a second time a broken finger. It doesn't mean that I don't know what body-pain is like, I still have 99.9% of kinesthetic sensations. The only nerve that I know of that is gone is the one that tells me where my left arm is - probably hard for you to imagine unless you have experienced it being 'asleep' yourself.

    I'd go into detail of the various parts of my body that are fighting against their death or have become swollen from lack of exercise to pump the fluids through my failing kidneys, trying not to strangle on pills needed to regulate this and that through a throat that needs opening again (for the fourth time) from scars from GERD. It is just my vehicle that is getting banged-up, I'm fine!

    The OTHER pain is at the soul level, where I have a soul-mate that I've stopped communicating with because my wife is jealous of her, but that is a private story.
     
    tanker and SeaAndSky like this.
  24. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2014
    Messages:
    1,552
    Likes Received:
    1,311
    Location:
    Florida, USA
    Hi Ken,

    I'm sorry we have such a limited set of emoticons to choose from. I wanted to just insert a bit "thumb's up" image!

    Way to hang in there! (Also, sorry about the missed communications, but I know that is only a short break--you will be able to be back in communication soon).

    S&S
     
  25. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2014
    Messages:
    1,874
    Likes Received:
    1,198
    Location:
    SW Ohio, USA
    I was surprised by that as well. They are all pretty young (from my vantage point) 30-50 with the young chaplain working on his doctorate degree I think. I am really in the USA Bible-belt that others talk about.

    There is yet another pain that I didn't mention previously, there are plenty more for each of us to participate in, but the one that bothers me now is isolation. I stopped driving, my heavy power wheelchair can not get into any houses other than the ones I have built or businesses that are forced to comply with newer laws. Laws give rules that often don't fit the need and I find engineers that are too dumb to just go rent a wheelchair for a day to see what needs to be done for themselves, duh!
     
  26. Klaud

    Klaud Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2019
    Messages:
    361
    Likes Received:
    449
    Location:
    USA
    I'm afraid of a painful death, but actually dying never really bothered me all that much. Much like Tanker, I had a brush with possible death, although it involved a massive tree and not a car. When it was over, I remembered thinking about how I wanted to go real peaceful.

    I've always tried to look at death as being the only guarantee in life. When my time is up, there's nothing I can do to stop it. We go when we go, daytime or not. How people grieve after I'm gone is up to them, but I don't want them to remember me and go "thank god she's dead. I always hated her."

    You may want to do what Sheeply suggested and look into seeing a professional. It could really put your mind at ease better than some of us could.
     

Share This Page