I'm so alone

[Miss Kelly]

I keep reading these posts about people finding their soulmates and having people they connect with, and I've come to realize that I've never had any feelings like the ones described, and I don't have anyone I feel connected to in my life, not even my family. I've always felt like an alien, outcast, whom even my relatives don't understand. I've never shared my inner feelings with anyone but myself. I literally have conversations with myself because it's the only way I can let off steam.
Will I ever find a soulmate, someone who is like or at least understands myself, or is it possible that I have none?

 

[KenJ]

I don't have anyone I feel connected to in my life, not even my family. I've always felt like an alien, outcast, whom even my relatives don't understand.

I'm sorry you are having those feelings Miss Kelly, I think that we all have experienced that at some point in our lives. As far as a soulmate, I've often wondered how often that actually works out, the people that I've known that have said they have found their soulmate in this lifetime have become disillusioned about it later - the "happily ever-after" life did not happen as they thought it would. However, finding someone to live with and share with is very likely as long as you allow it open yourself to the possibility. Having really good friends at your age is often a challenge as that is the age where people are having to decide their path following high school and insecurity is running pretty high.

 

[baro-san]

You're still so very young ... but, no matter how old you are, or how long you've been alone, it would be a mistake to rush things, or to compromise your standards, hoping things will turn out for better. From what I've seen, after marriage things never turn for better.

You can always try to change some of your habits, your circle of friends, your place of work, the city you're living.

I'd suggest to find a way to ask your higher self for guidance on your situation. I'm almost sure that one answer will be to be patient.

Sorry for your feelings of loneliness.

 

[SeaAndSky]

Hi MK,

I didn't really have anyone until I found the right one. Interestingly, both of my older sons and my older daughter have been the same way. Nothing, and then someone who they met and eventually married, one son and daughter in their early 20s and one son in his late 20s. So, take heart, better to reserve your heart until the right one comes along. However, having said that, I find that (like art) relationship is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration in the sense that it takes a lot of work to make it work. Likewise, not only will you never (IMO) find someone who matches up with you 100% in terms of likes, interests, opinions, etc.--you'll do best to not expect that kind of things. The best "soul" mate is not actually a person you match up with in that way (though it helps), but someone who you can work with cooperatively to build a life and family (if you're blessed with one). So, better to think of a "work" mate instead of a "soul" mate. In considering this, you may want to put that very high on your list and ask yourself, "Is this someone I can work with for the next 50+ years?" "Are we headed the same direction, building for the same things, and do we mesh and work together well on things?"

I can still remember doing things with my wife to be, and how well we seemed to mesh (and how much fun we could have) when we were engaged in a common or shared task/endeavor. It took awhile, and we always have some disagreements, but generally she acknowledges when I am right about how to get it done, and vice versa. Well, that is all a bit meandering, but I'm going to re-emphasize my primary point. You are looking for someone to be a partner in life, and to "build" a life together. This is long and arduous task, but it can definitely be worth the time and effort you put into it--just choose your life-mate as someone who will also be your work-mate as well as your friend and love-mate, and you should do well. My wife and I are still "working" at this joint project, and closing in on our 40th, so it seems to have "worked" out for us pretty well.

Cordially,
S&S

 

[Spirit Sword]

I would say not to be afraid to reexamine what you have in your life currently. There isn't always an immediate "clicking" when you meet someone. It took me years to realize that I had a spiritual bond with a friend of mine because being together was just relaxing. Only after close examination did I realize that their presence was calming because it was familiar to me (and then I found we had a lengthy history together much later). Our interaction is not necessarily exciting, but it just feels better to be together, even when doing something like watching TV and not speaking. I consider it to be a platonic soul mate connection (which are not really discussed enough, in my opinion), but it took some digging to find. My point is that the connection will probably come at some point. It might take just looking into something with a different view. Or you might have to wait for the right person or the right time. My friend and I actually met as children but did not really become friends until high school because we both needed to grow up a bit first.

 

[bellaDonna09]

well your not alone...i felt that as well.but eventually i met them in the most random way ever(im still alone as hell thought because i want to be loved but havent been in relationship at all)everytime im going to enter a relationship with someone ihave mutual feeling with it never happen for the silliest reason and it annoy's me)they will come along dont worry.but dont rush into it and dont force yourself to it.it should be natural plus not all soulmates can be recgonized by the first glance.some take time.the first i was in love i was comletely deluded which leaded to unrequited love.o felt i was living in fantasy.something about it wasnt real.i want to punch myself in the face when i remmember how i acted lol.so i used to tell myself he's the only one ive ever felt connection with.but iwas wrong.so wait they will come you'r still young

 

[Isacosmo]

Hey!

Go out and find your better half Now, this person may become someone you will be happy to remember in your next life!
I have a special friend from a past life, we met out of the blue more than a decade ago. In that PL, We were blood-related, we loved each other, we were a great team, and ocasionally we were friends "with benefits" (may that person never know I said this). Certainly I have had some romantic stuff in my mind years ago, but then I learned that remembering a past life, or several, is a ways to settle some things which haven't been settled then (or even a way to deal with a nasty trauma), not something that will arrange things for me, I mean, love life and so on.
So, cheers to the Present!!

 

[John_L]

Hi Miss Kelly,

I used to be in a situation very very similar to yours, wondering if I was going to be alone forever as people around me connected to each other and formed relationships and families and whatnot. I'm almost twenty-four at the moment, and I haven't even been in a real relationship, all of them (namely, three) short and lackluster and/or ending in abuse.

Now, however, I have found my person. This is the fourth life we have together, and when we met the feelings came crashing in, I've never even thought it possible for me to fall so hard and fast. I didn't even believe myself *capable* of loving someone so much, trusting them so much, and yet here I am. Traits and postulates about myself that I considered an unshakeable part of me are now just dust, easy to brush off and forget.

I am rambling, yes, but I'm saying all this to tell you one thing: please have faith. I know very intimately, believe me, how much it frustrates to hear other people tell their stories as if they are definite proof that the same thing is going to happen to you. And they are not proof, no, but they show you that it is *not* impossible. Everything changes, and tomorrow you might wake up and encounter something that will turn your very core beliefs and convictions upside down, and you'll look back at you-now with sympathy, wishing you could tell yourself that your despair is not forever. The greatest favour you can do yourself right now is embrace the possibility of change. I promise it will come, it always does.

Best of luck to you!

 

[Angie Brown]

I keep reading these posts about people finding their soulmates and having people they connect with, and I've come to realize that I've never had any feelings like the ones described, and I don't have anyone I feel connected to in my life, not even my family. I've always felt like an alien, outcast, whom even my relatives don't understand. I've never shared my inner feelings with anyone but myself. I literally have conversations with myself because it's the only way I can let off steam.
Will I ever find a soulmate, someone who is like or at least understands myself, or is it possible that I have none?

Hi Miss Kelly,

You aren't even out of your teens yet. Your real adult life is only just starting to begin. Very few people meet someone they settle with HAPPILY for life when they are young, because they have yet to grow properley into being themselves, and into knowing who they really are, what sort of life they really want, what values and standards they have that are absolute (like honesty, integrity), what their own goals are - and goals like career choices and where we want to live can change a lot between 18 and mid-twenties, believe me. When we are still forming ourselves as adults and haven't yet worked out what sort of person we are and what we really want, then we can't possibly have a clue what to look for in a life partner.

All those other young adults you know who seem happy in coupledom? I'm going to be blunt and explain something a lot of people don't know until they get quite a lot older. Those relationships are often driven by normal healthy hormones. Sexual desire. Which teens to early thirties tend to have a lot of. In a year or two you will see those happy twosomes moving on from each other because they went in deep and wholly without really knowing who they were, let alone what they needed from a life or long term other half.

Far better to take a bit more time - it won't be forever - to learn to connect with, like and love yourself. To find out what makes you happy. No one can make another feel happy and loved but being with the wrong person can sure make someone feel miserable and hated. We need to be happy with ourselves first, and ensure we avoid those who rob us of that.

I am an old lady, speaking from experience. Please believe me, you will connect with others as you connect with who you are becoming - and it will take a bit more time at your age but it won't take forever.

Best wishes,

Angie