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Is It Wrong

GalaxyDreamer90

Senior Member
Everysince I was about 12 and started learning about different religions I have craved a connection with a higher power whatever it might be. At around the same time I began to see human relationships as not as important as they say they are. I mean from my experience friends can be hurtful and not always understanding. However, people didn't understand that about me back then. They just seen me withdraw from other people and forced me to socialize. They would tell me friends are important and that I was stupid for not wanting to socialize with others. Eventually I was given the impression that people who don't socialize as much are stupid and eventually by the time I entered college I began socializing with others more and managed to make some friends. However, I'm not usually the type to get stuck in the past, but to this day I'm still haunted by memories of being forced to socialize in middle school and high school and it's been causing me problems lately. Because I was given the impression that I was stupid for not socializing as a teenager I tend to see introverted people as stupid sometimes. Also I'll sometimes force myself to socialize even when I don't want to just to not appear stupid. Now I'm wondering if I was given the wrong impression growing up and there really is nothing wrong with being rather introverted. Besides since I was a teen I have seen having a connection to a higher power and the universe as more important than human relationships. So is it really wrong to be introverted?
 
Can't find a good example article or video, but from what I've heard, it rather is the opposite: it's highly intelligent people (and also highly spiritual people) who like to be alone.
I'd bet you would socialize with people if you are sharing interests with them. People you can have deep conversations with rather than smalltalk. People with whom you can do creative things rather than just have party. You'd still need time alone, of course.
You can't delve into spirituality with zero time you spend just with yourself anyway. And I am certain that people in the science or creative sector need a lot of time to think. You don't get good or even genius ideas when there is noise all the time.
You also need time alone to recharge. Even more so as an introvert (and I think I have read somewhere that introverts often are highly intelligent).
So no, not wanting to socialize is not stupid at all, and neither is it a sign that you are stupid.
 

GalaxyDreamer90

Senior Member
Because of my upbringing and being forced to socialize and told that I was stupid for not socializing I find it hard to believe introverts are actually smart. But you do have a point as a creative type I find it hard to work on something creative when I'm forced to socialize all the time. Though sometimes it's a good thing to share my artwork with others especially since I want to be an artist for a living someday soon I need time alone to come up with my ideas. Perhaps thats wht my boyfriend is so introverted because hes also the creative type. Also as much as it can worry me I also find that im mote attracted to shy quiet guys then loud extroverted ones. I think it has to do with my upbringing. Growing up it was very loud with my older sister who was a teenager at the time constantly getting into arguments with my parents. That is also why I figure I didnt talk much as a little kid. Another reason I might be so imtroverted is because growing up I always had to play by myself since my older sisters are much older than me. Eventually I got use to it though. Anyway I'm surprised to hear about introverts actually being smart. I'll have to research that myself. Maybe there are some scientific articles on that somewhere. I know in the media there is the stereotype of introverts being smart and also empathic and caring but I thought that was just a media stereotype.
 

Cryscat

Senior Member
Because of my upbringing and being forced to socialize and told that I was stupid for not socializing I find it hard to believe introverts are actually smart. But you do have a point as a creative type I find it hard to work on something creative when I'm forced to socialize all the time. Though sometimes it's a good thing to share my artwork with others especially since I want to be an artist for a living someday soon I need time alone to come up with my ideas. Perhaps thats wht my boyfriend is so introverted because hes also the creative type. Also as much as it can worry me I also find that im mote attracted to shy quiet guys then loud extroverted ones. I think it has to do with my upbringing. Growing up it was very loud with my older sister who was a teenager at the time constantly getting into arguments with my parents. That is also why I figure I didnt talk much as a little kid. Another reason I might be so imtroverted is because growing up I always had to play by myself since my older sisters are much older than me. Eventually I got use to it though. Anyway I'm surprised to hear about introverts actually being smart. I'll have to research that myself. Maybe there are some scientific articles on that somewhere. I know in the media there is the stereotype of introverts being smart and also empathic and caring but I thought that was just a media stereotype.
It's not a media sterotype. I am an introvert. Introverts tend to have a rich inner life, full of imagination as well as interesting dreams. Some of us are empathic, some of us, not so much. We always, though, need to recharge our batteries alone. We can power up for social interactions, but they always drain us. If you were around extroverts all of your life, it is possible to grow up without an appreciation of your gifts. In some cases introverts are bullied for being who they are. The gifts are cut off. Then the introvert has to fight to be who they are. Introverts, because of that inner life, do tend to be more intelligent than others. Take it from someone who had fought the battle to be who I am. Its never easy, but worth it. The book "
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" may be of some help..
 

GalaxyDreamer90

Senior Member
Reading a free sample of the book you recommended and though I had read it before on the highly sensitive person website I still find it interesting that about 70 percent of highly sensitive people are also introverted. Of course there is the media stereotype of the highly sensitive introvert. However, I use to think that was a stereotype, but there seems to be research to back this stereotype up as real.
 

Cryscat

Senior Member
Since extroverts are busy with social lives, most don't stop long enough to notice changes in the room or shifts in the energy of people, places, events. Its always an introvert who will notice. So yes, I agree, their does seem to be research to back up that stereotype. But not every introvert will be highly sensitive.
 

There and back again

Senior Member
The whole extroversion bias that many are faced with growing up much less later in life is pretty toxic and does ruins lives though for most of the population are somewhere in the middle where there is some natural balance. This bias really didn't surface in any noticeable manner that people would bother to mention until the late 1800s when people began to take notice of how society was shifting from a culture of character to one that of charisma however after WW2 it all took off like wildfire becoming what it is these days. I think of it as partly due to the soul demographics having shifted which greatly affected modern culture so those who are different are at a disadvantage when it comes to this.
 

GalaxyDreamer90

Senior Member
Sorry to bump this topic but it's seeming more and more like I'll never marry and have kids due to my financial situation. I'm starting to realize being married and having kids would require a lot of money. Besides I'm much happier alone anyway. I have even read most of my generation has decided not to marry and have kids for similar reasons. Still I worry what others will think of me if I never marry and have kids. Maybe I'm worrying too much what others think though. As I have mentioned here before I have an older sister who has no kids and out of all my sisters she is the most successful because of the fact she has no kids. She currently works in the medical field as a rad tech. Still I worry others will think I'm stupid for not getting married and having kids.
 
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