Mayan Memories

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by fireflydancing, May 4, 2019.

  1. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    A human sacrifice

    Before I started this newly found video about guided self-hypnosis, I had two questions I wanted an answer for. The first one was why I do have so many skills in this life without ever remembering being a skilled professional in a former life. And the second one was that I wanted to see whatever life that gave me some insight into my current life.

    I used a new video that I had never listened to before and I didn't want to lay down on my bed but instead, I made myself comfortable in a big chair.

    The relaxation part was great and then the adventure started. The voice in the video said I had to climb up a staircase and I suddenly saw in all the mist the back of a foot of a girl in sandals. Just one heel but I felt a flood of love for this girl, knowing it was a former 'me'. My heart felt warm and the visions of a possible life still had to take place.

    I went to a hallway full of doors. You all know. I choose one and opened it with a big iron key. As always, there was a lot of grey mist. I had the impression of very dry sand under my feet. I saw greyish big birds. Not real birds but realistic drawings in grey on a grey background. Vultures.

    I was wearing a skirt, naked legs and sandals when I looked down. When I looked from a distance to myself, I saw I was a native Mesoamerican girl/young woman.
    The fabric of my skirt had a difficult pattern. I tried to focus and I saw a hand weaving the pattern, showing how to mix the colored threads. I saw pottery standing next to the door of a house/hut. At that point, I realized that a lot of skills generally were integrated into daily life in the past. That served as an answer to my first question.

    The environment was beautiful and green, trees and hills. Maybe there were pyramids but I am not sure about that. It could have been settlements on a hillside, I don't know.

    Next thing I saw was the completely naked body of a female carried by probably one of her brothers. The young man had his head shaved. It was more or less a symbolic ritual. There were no other details in a soft grey background, except for the lines of some very big circle. The young woman was placed outside of the circle. I understood what this scene represented. I felt instantly a weird and sick feeling in my current body.
    She had been stripped off 'all' in her life and had been placed outside of the family circle. There was no way back.

    When she was climbing up the mountain along a small footpath, she was wearing clothes again, including a big shawl wrapped around her shoulders, so I assume the nakedness was symbolical for leaving all behind she had ever owned, given or valued. I tried to look around and saw a huge view: I was high above trees and hills, with mountains at a distance. Some manmade structures, maybe settlements, maybe pyramids pointed through the deck of trees in the landscape.

    Somehow I knew I was going to die. I kept on walking up the mountain and tried to see more but I entered greyness again. I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here, went repeatedly through my mind. I felt so highly uncomfortable that I felt the need for a trusted guide to help me go through this process. Then I decided it was better to break off this session. Which I did. I opened my eyes and stopped the video. I felt awful.

    So I skipped the part of my death in this memory. This girl went voluntarily to her death but only because she had already been declared dead by being expulsed by her family. They loved her, so there must have been some religious or political reason for this. Maybe she had been given something to drink to avoid blind panic during the trip, I don't know.

    mayan girl.JPG I don't know the timeframe, nor the culture. It was Mesoamerica for sure. She looked like her, same age, same hair, and face.

    My second question was answered as well in this session. Recently I have been furiously overreacting to a similar situation in real life. Not as dramatic as this story. Some people that I trusted did something without consulting me first and I fell into some sort of soul shock. And sometime later, a fury broke loose in me about broken trust. The trigger was the feeling of betrayal by people you trust blindly. The actual events are too trivial to mention, I admit. Really not comparable to the situation in which a family member is chosen to be sacrificed. But there were elements that served as triggers, I guess.
     
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  2. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    I have heard of such sacrifices, there was a documentary where they reconstructed the life of a mummified girl they had found in the mountains.
    I searched for it and found this: https://news.nationalgeographic.com...ce-coca-alcohol-drug-mountain-andes-children/
    Looks like the Inka did this kind of sacrifice and gave the chosen children and young girls drugs. Could this be the culture and time your life took part in?
     
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  3. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Thnx. That's a highly interesting article.
    • Juan de Betanzos wrote of widespread child sacrifices, up to a thousand individuals
    Was it only the Incas that performed these rituals? Maybe it was more widespread among Indian cultures.
    In my memory, there was not a moment in which some drugs were given, but I assumed that this had happened. I mean, what lamb goes willingly to the butchers? There was no way back to her old life, but there is still something called blind panic.
     
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  4. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    I don't know. It would make sense if there had been similar sacrifices in other meso-american cultures.
    Just remembered that I had heard the story of a mummified girl in a documentary and then looked it up.
    Maybe they put the drugs in the food or something, because you are right, lambs normally don't go to the butchers willingly.
     
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  5. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    A human sacrifice (2)

    Although I hadn't seen very much in my regression, the impact was big. I think I really would like to return to that life in another session. I want to pick up some beautiful aspects as well from that life. I just feel there have been strong and good influences and people. Several times the word 'grandfather' pops into my mind. I also would like to explore why I saw pottery and weaving. Ok, it should be obvious, because of the weaving techniques from those cultures that are spectacular. I hardly could see anything from the fabric my skirt was made of but inside this regression, I knew I had to pay attention to the color mix. It was mainly white, red, black in small alternate blocks and maybe some other colors as well, but white, red an black were the basic colors. I assume this means that this is a way to identify the makers/weavers. I think I had done it myself or a relative but the colors are not used randomly. I think every tribe or maybe every weaver had her own colors and patterns.
    The sandals I was wearing were not plain and ordinary sandals. They were made of brown leather and both the left and right sides of the foot were protected against little stones by decorated pieces of leather that still left the top side of the foot open.

    mayan weaving.jpg this pattern is close to what I saw. It's Mayan weaving.

    I also saw some unglazed pottery. Huge vases, not for flowers but for storage. Taller and smaller than these:
    pottery.jpg The big vases were not used yet, maybe still drying or waiting to be glazed or painted. They were standing against some kind of 'wall' made by natural materials: wooden poles that were placed with a space of a big hand in between them and there were some kind of big dry leaves woven in between (like palm leaves).

    Well, since my last post I have discovered that human sacrifices were very common in the ancient cultures of Mesoamerica and even stretching out to South-Amerika as well. They were part of the culture. The World would have stopped existing without these constant offerings of fresh blood to a range of deities. I don't feel comfortable to investigate this further for the moment.

    I copied a piece of text I wrote elsewhere on this forum. I just wanted to put it here as well. I felt physically very awful afterward.

    Although I was aware of reincarnation my whole life, it has only been recently in the past couple of 5 years that I actually started to consciously examine and evaluate my past lifes on a deeper level. And then the emotions come to surface as well. My most recent example from last week (remembering being a girl who was designated to be a human sacrifice in an indian culture in Mesoamerica) brought a lot of intense sadness, depression and hidden anger with it.
    I even had a hunge about the person who I could find at the end of my walk up to the top of the mountain. One of the reasons I broke off my session of self-hypnosis. I didn’t want to see my fear confirmed. To see the one who actually killed me that time. Someone I know in this life very well.
    Forgiveness is the key to loose negative emotions. I use it over and over again after painfull memories. It makes me feel powerful and in control. It’s me who decides to end awful energy bubbles.
    So what did I do? You can’t aproach someone saying: hey, I suspect you to be my killer in a past life. Actually, I am not sure myself. It’s just that several years ago I had seen this person in a memory flash as some sort of Mayan priest (or another neighbour indian culture) wearing a huge ceremonial mask.
    So I aproached this person and at a certain point I asked whether he felt a connection to those ancient cultures. He did. He told me he had always had a more than strong fascination to the rituals and magic of them. And I detest masks, he added without cause. After some chit-chat about this topic, I felt this depressive and intense sadness inside of me breaking up and leaving my body. Ofcourse I wondered if it was just my vivid imagination but I didn’t care. It felt good.
    It had been the implicit confirmation of my feelings during this talk, the implicit confirmation of ‘guild’ that set free the sadness and hidden anger.
    And forgiveness and love.
    (Needles to say that revenge is not an option towards healing your soul)
     
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  6. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    a human sacrifice (3)

    I went back to this life two more times last week, just because I feel the urge to do so. Sometimes months or a year go by without memories of a past life and now suddenly I really need to know about this life.

    Until now, I think I was a Mayan girl, living in a rainforest in a small community, long ago, no modern influences.

    structures rain forrest.JPG

    parrot
    What happened in my next regressions? In the second one, just before the wooden door would open in my self-hypnosis, a great grey ara or parrot came to me and sat on my shoulder. We both went together into the greyness behind the wooden door. I felt secure with my bird on my shoulder and I was able to stay for some time in this greyness. Sadness rose up in me and I started to cry (in real life). The bird was supportive to me, pushing its head against mine. My hand went down to the pocket of my skirt and I gave the birds some pits and nuts all the time.
    This time I was a little bit younger, about 12 years old I guess. I was with my bird all the time. I think he was multi-colored but somehow I perceived him in grey most of the time. It was a really big parrot with a large tail. He was tame, no cords, no cage. I saw him flying in the sky while I was running towards some other children and that was a wonderful view.
    papegaai.JPG vogel2.JPG
    There was also a small green bird but my favorite was the big one. His name was Petu or P'tu. I loved him like my life.

    Food
    I happened to see some of my food. I saw a kind of yellow paste, made from dried, roasted, milled corn that was cooked afterward. I just knew there was some sauce with it with hot peppers and sweet peppers together.
    Eating my meal meant sitting on the floor of our house/hut. the house was not made of stone but made from wood and leaves.
    Outside the house, I've seen a small and broken beehive on the ground. No more bees or honey in it. It was the size of two small hands width and the length of two hands as well.

    gathering
    I went back in time to a moment of significance to me. I was around 7 years old and I sensed that I was very excited and very proud. Still forest all around, with some open spaces of course. I didn't see much but I felt as if a gathering was taking place. People from the same tribe or related tribes were supposed to gather every now and then just to reinforce the mutual bonds between all of them. People dropped in from far and some ceremony would take place. A reinforcement of the bonds. I would be there too and that made me very proud.
    I was irritated that my vision was so blurry. I hardly couldn't see anything. I asked my parrot to help me see clearly. Next moment my vision was so clear and sharp! But not useful because now I saw the trees and bushes very sharply, lol. But I did see two men, not fully dressed, with arrows, who were about to go for a hunt.

    Suddenly I heard the voice of the video say: now we go to the moment of your death... In less than a second, I pulled off my headphones... no way I was able to go there. This abrupt ending was ok. I felt so relieved and good for all those images I had seen.

    P'tu.jpg It seems P'tu was a macaw. He was like this in the air.

    third visit
    The third time I went back to this life started a bit strange because somehow I had skipped the intro without realizing. I guess I must have fallen asleep just before the wooden door and waken up a few minutes later. I had skipped the Grey Area from my consciousness. ;)

    And there she was. I saw her from a close distance between 50 to 100 centimeters. This time I asked her age and she answered very slowly: hare... I didn't understand and I did. She repeated: I am a hare... like: you should know. Like: I was born in the Year of the Hare and why do I have to explain this to you??

    In this session, I had more difficulties than in the former. I saw other things as well. At a certain moment, I was in a structured place, like in front of a temple. I was in the open air and could see very clearly. I could see some kind of rectangular water tank. Like a swimming pool, but no swimming pool. I was just moving my head from right to left to right to left. I was so absorbed by being able to see clearly that I didn't mind that nothing happened at all. In the background, I had a view over the landscape, as usual: trees. In front of me was this water basin. And grey stones everywhere.

    The last scene was shocking and confusing. It came without trigger or warning. I saw the back of an adult man who opened some kind of underground space. There were two young children in there: a girl and a younger boy. The children were quiet and had difficulties to adapt to the sudden exposure to light.

    Once again I stopped this regression immediately without thinking.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2019
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  7. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Mayan life

    My process of reconnection to my Mayan life(s) is at full speed. It's not comfortable because it concerns much more than just 'remembering' a life story. It's an overwhelming process that rocks my entire existence. I try to use this place as a kind of notebook for myself and not only as a personal diary because I think it might be interesting for other people as well, especially if they themselves have vague memories of those times.

    First of all, I hope that it is clear that my memories have nothing to do with the Mayan hysteria from the year 2012. All kind of people thought that 'the Mayans' had predicted the end of the World in 2012 which was ridiculous because the main belief had always been a circular one.

    Secondly, I don't feel nostalgia for a lost culture. It was living in Paradise and extremely cruel at the same time on a personal level. These days, these hours, I see so many insights and thoughts on a great spiritual scale and so many synchronicities and leads in my own current life.

    I've been discussing my memories with my friend F. (who used to be a reincarnation therapist) and he quickly commented that this life must have been a game-changing life (he used another more professional word for it). A high impact life, on the soul, with new implications for next lives to come. I agreed. This life must have been taken place before my European lives. And I had already noticed that in my European lives at least in three of them I died as a girl around the age of 14. My friend said that this was not uncommon for a soul after a highly traumatic death: to reenact the same trauma over and over again under different circumstances. He said that he was absolutely sure that the Mayan girl had died while being heavily drugged. An unconscious death is the one that leaves most unresolved trauma which will be carried over to later lives.

    I said simply dying had not been my biggest soul shock (although I still can't face it). It had been the expulsion from the family circle. I had lived in complete harmony with Nature and with my relatives. I had been thrown out of Paradise and decided to never come back again, never trusting relatives again.
    In my European lives, I don't recall much family life. A lot of loneliness over and over again. Living in Europe means exploring individuality to me, in contrast to being part of a group-soul as before.

    Mayan family life
    I've been reading a lot in a short time. The Mayans believed in reincarnation and they did all they could do to persuade souls to be reborn into the same family. They buried deceased relatives into their actual homes as a way to capture their souls after death. Body and Soul among the Maya: Keeping the Spirits in Place
    This reminds me so much to my recurring dreams as a young girl. I even wrote on this forum and only now it starts to make sense to me. This is what the Mayans did: recollecting the dead, bringing them home, digging them up (!) to reinforce the connections.
    So yeah... when they put you out of the holy family circle... it is a soul shock.

    The Lacadon
    I had already figured out the circumstances of living in the rainforest: very, very basic. Not boring at all. So hard to explain. I would change immediately if I had the chance. Life was so full and rich. Well, maybe a little bit of nostalgia here. ;)
    Yesterday I was just surfing the internet for more background information when it suddenly happened. I came to see a picture of Lacadon people from the rainforest in the Mexican/Guatalmaltecan area. I immediately recognized them from my regression earlier this week. They were the people who came to the gathering when the Maya girl was about 7 years old.
    mayan memory.JPG
    They were dressed in white and dropped in in small groups of three or four people at the time. When I saw this in my regression I thought it was odd and thought those white dresses were symbolic for their long journey. I was hit by a huge hammer when I saw these people actually existed in the rainforest and that they were actual Mayans.

    (It gave me a huge migraine right away. I became sick in my stomach and my throat started to pulsate heavily. )

    Since I remembered myself wearing a multicolored skirt (and a white blouse, btw) I couldn't understand why I reacted so extremely to those pictures. I found out they are the Lacandon, who call themselves the true Mayans and they are related and in fact the same people.

    Northern Lacandón men usually were knee-length tunics and Northern women wear colourful skirts under their tunics, whereas both men and women of the Southern Lacandón wear ankle-length tunics. The hair is customarily worn long and loose by both sexes.
    https://www.britannica.com/topic/Lacandon

    maya hut.JPG
    Ignore the people, it's about the hut. I saw this style in my regression: poles as walls and big leaves like banana of palm leaves on top. In my vision, I saw more space between the poles and some leaves interwoven near the ground and open higher up. Maybe I lived in a hotter place or there was a shortage of poles, who knows... Because there was pottery outside, I thought it had to do with drying clay or burning the pots.

    colorful skirst.jpg
    Men wearing white, women wearing colorful skirts

    Apart from recognizing particular details on pictures from this tribal life, I think the most impact at this moment is recognizing patterns from this life. In one of the sessions, I sensed the presence of my then mother, who felt precisely as how my actual mother feels. My actual mother was very much into pottery when I was a child. She once made a mask, absolutely not one of her best works. It survived decades and my father forbids to throw it away because it contains 'her thoughts and emotions'. Nobody likes it. I made a picture of it yesterday because it still takes a prominent place in his house.
    mask.JPG It was on a wall together with an Indian bow for several years. We thought it was funny to do, but nothing special. But now in retrospect, I recognize a lot of similarities from my early childhood in this life and from that Mayan life. Rooming around in the woods, climbing trees so I could admire the view above the tree decks. Searching for fine clay to take home, to make things with it. Loving my pets as family members. I was not a girly-girl and preferred trousers, except for some woven skirts (dark red) that I would wear beyond expiry date. Me trying to reach unity with the soil and Nature and my sadness that I couldn't reach the ultimate merge (when I was about 8 years old). After puberty, my focus in life changed (except that I started to study the history of Latin America at the university but I cannot remember classes about those Indian tribes). I also cannot say my whole current life is influenced by this Indian live(s) (I assume there have been a lot or at least several) but the more I think and contemplate, the more I see coming above the surface, more than I can mention.
    I think maybe the tribal life became activated in this current life because I was born to the same mother again? Probably more relatives as well, including my friend F.
     
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  8. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

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    That is very interesting firefly! So nice to have managd to be able to get past the bad memories and learn so much about that lifetime.

    Are you pursuing more information in a regular pattern? What methods do you normally use?
     
  9. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I think I don't understand your question, Ken. Do you refer to my personal memories from a former live or the information on the internet?
     
  10. KenJ

    KenJ Moderator Emeritus

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    The central-America memories.
     
  11. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    They came without a trigger when I wanted to try a new youtube video for self-regression.
    But once the memories started to show themselves, I couldn't stop wanting to return to that life. So I did a few regressions to that life (normally this doesn't work like that for me).

    So far, every session has been full of emotional backfire to my (current) body. I've cried, shaken, panicked, got a migraine, got extremely nervous, felt sick and so on.

    This is not a normal procedure for me, usually, I just see images when I am relaxed and concentrated. Usually, I don't get this tornado of feelings and emotions.
     
  12. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    Amazing... what confirmation you have here. They remind me very much of the Kogi people in Colombia who I'm very drawn to.
     
  13. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Landsend, I know the Kogi. They look similar but their spirituality is different especially on the role of female energy.
    When I saw people in white moving in my regression I was confused and thought my mind played a trick with me, because I love the Kogi but they live far away in Colombia. So I concluded that the white robes symbolized a large journey. My surprise was great when I found out that the old Mayans were also wearing white robes. And an even greater surprise when my body reacted so extremely to finding the old Mayans again.
    Last year I wrote a series of articles about the Kogi. I was highly fascinated by them and felt close but I never ever experienced an emotional breakdown like I did these days.

    Their similarity is that both the Kogi and the Lacardon went into 'exile' within own territory, hiding from Western influences. They both wear white robes. Both belief in reincarnation. Both have structured social cohesion with not much space for individuality. I say living like a group-soul.

    There are also huge differences. I haven't found this obsession with blood with the Kogi.
    https://www.academia.edu/38316642/M...truation_and_Pregnancy_in_Lacandon_Daily_Life
    (Scroll down to read the full article. It appears half way.)
     
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  14. landsend

    landsend Senior Registered

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    Firefly, are those articles you wrote up here by any chance?

    I’m fascinated by this and your memory of the Mayans. It’s also interesting to know the differences. Do you think you were drawn to the Kogi because you were innately recognising their similarities to a past life memory of your own?
     
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  15. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    @landsend,

    Difficult to say. And to be honest I don't know. I'd rather liked to recognize myself as a former Kogi Mama (shaman) than as a sweet little Mayan girl. Maybe as time goes by I'll unravel more native American lives in that area. Maybe my interest in the Kogi was because of the superficial resemblances between the old Mayans and the Kogi.
    The articles I wrote about the Kogi were in dutch but I still have a lot of links, I'll post them in a separate post.
     
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  16. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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  17. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Videos Kogi Indians





     
  18. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    As far as I understand today, the origin of Life according to the Kogi is female. We came out of a formless womb full of consciousness. All Creation starts with Intention. First intention and the matter will follow. The purpose of Life is to guard the balance between the female and the male energies.

    Mayan society thrives on male domination, warfare and the obsession with blood. According to the Mayans, Life did originate from intention but it was a male decision and a male Creation.

    This is shortly the essence as far as I understand today.
     
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  19. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    This new adventure has become a slight obsession for me. But a nice one. It's like gathering information in a three dimensional way. It's like finding myself in an empty space and I have to move in all kind of directions to catch little particles of information without an overview.


    My main question was and is: Why? Why was I chosen for this ceremony?

    I discussed this briefly with two different friends. The first one said: it was your birthday, you were destined from the moment you were born. The other one said: to maintain the power of the cast of the priests. A personal and a political entrance and both friends reacted intuitively without hesitation.

    fourth visit

    I opened the wooden door and I entered the Grea Area. To me, this is the 'death zone', the situation around the death of a certain life. In my first visit, I saw pictures of vultures. When my subconscious shows me pictures I can tell the real information still contains unresolved trauma. It seems to be my personal system. I still leave open two options: first there were real vultures involved, second, the vulture had been the Mayan symbol for this twilight zone between life and death and maybe I perceive this image in the mindset of my former me.
    This time, it was not a grey and thick fog. It was like the wind had blown through the fog and some bright colors were seen at the edges. I also started to see glyphs in grey. Single glyphs like tiles. I told myself: I am not afraid, I am ready for the truth. Nothing happened and I wished my parrot back. He was not there and I realized why my pet had been a grey parrot the first time: he was already dead too when I died myself. I had to go back two years in time to see him in full colors.
    After realizing this, he showed up in my regression. He was dancing on my shoulder and very excited and happy to see me. Then he annoyed me with his beak in my hair. I saw my hair was not loose but bound. I lack the proper words in English to describe the hair. In my regression, I dismissed this image directly because this was not possible but the parrot, macaw actually, kept on pushing his beak in my hair as if showing me this, was something important. Vaguely I thought maybe I was made beautiful before dying. I got the impression I was a young woman and no longer a girl. I refused to look at myself when this suggestion came by the voice of the video. I hated to look at myself and I had the impression my clothes were far more beautiful than I was used to wearing.

    I started repeating to myself that I was not afraid and that I would take the things as they were.

    I changed the place. I floated in space, high above the Earth. This happened all through my fourth regression. Visions and scenes could suddenly alter. Sometimes I was above the trees, sometimes in dark space with twinkling stars, sometimes I saw beautiful skies after the sun was set. I also saw a nice vision of the Earth looking down, when you see the curves of the planet.

    In the meantime, I was in a chamber or hall made from stone. My vision was very vague.
    The more I tried to see, the less I saw and those moments when I was distracted I was flooded by images. I had the feeling I was dressed up. Long robe and beautiful hair. I started to see golden artifacts in the size of a hand or a bit smaller. They had meanings, but I really don't know what it meant.
    Suddenly I was outside. There was a crowd of people and I looked down from above. In the crowd, there were two men dragged by ropes around their necks. They were choked by this over and over again but not dead yet. I had the impression that I had to watch it as a duty.

    The guiding voice from the video asked: Where did you go after you died? Answer: to the city.
    The voice guided me into this process and I really did see white lights. Not very bright but I was guided outside this former life.

    • And then... I saw all kind of scenes from previous lives. Nothing I had expected. I suddenly floated above the imambaras (Lucknow, India) and they were still all bright white and a white kind of imam dressed in pure white was in the air, hanging with his legs stretched in complete stillness above the domes and he looked me in the eyes with pure joy, radiating the message: surprise!!!
    • I saw all kinds of scenes from previous lives but I can't recall anything except some swamps, beautiful swamps in the colors of late summer and a path going through them.
    The voice of the video pulled me back to the Mayan life. Asking for one word to describe that life. I came with: Precious. Then he asked for the meaning of that life, what did I learn from it? I realized that this trauma had exactly been the purpose of that life. I grew up in Paradise in absolute harmony with Nature. I was a complete soul in the beginning and then I was lured into some cruel environment that crushed my soul.
    From a Higher perspective, this had been the purpose in itself. Like an eternal movement of building up and destroying after its completion. Over and over again.
     
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  20. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Fifth visit

    In my fifth regression, I asked about what had happened to me at the end. Spoiler alert: I still don't know.

    I started my session, very relaxed and curious about the missing parts of this ancient story. The missing parts are: who were my family members in the first part of my life (are they people who are around me in this life?) and how did my life end?

    At the beginning of these series of regressions, I felt the longing to go back to this world of the young girl. Several times the name 'Anzu' showed up in regressions. The first time it was the answer to the question in what region she was living. In another regression, the same name (or word) came up when I asked her own name. I tried several online Mayan dictionaries to find the name P'tu (petu, patu) and Anzu, but no luck.

    Later, when I was tapped into the last part of her life, I really didn't want to be there. She didn't and I didn't want to be in the regressions. The fifth time took a lot of effort for me to stay there. I was distracted, felt the urge to go to the bathroom, felt the urge to drink something, wanted to sleep, my mind wandered off to unrelated scenes from this modern world. And this chaotic state of mind was altered with very clear images now and then.
    Like: I saw my vision towards a path at the ground. Broad daylight. The sand, the grasses, the little stones... I saw them so sharp and bright as never before. It felt like I was walking with my head down, only watching the soil in front of my feet. I guess this was the walk away from the small settlement where I grew up and towards the next stage of my life.

    There were more visions, seemingly unrelated. I saw a rather big group of people gathered in a field, around thirty or forty persons, not dressed in white, but Indians. Don't know what happened there. It was like a hasty gathering of men.

    conquistadores
    I've seen helmets, lots of them. I've felt waves of pure fear pouring and flushing through the forests. The first indication that my memories are post-Columbian. I didn't see Spanish soldiers, just metal helmets. Those helmets seemed to rise up out of the soil between the crops, rise up from the water. Like a mystical appearance out of nowhere. Maybe it was only the stories and the fears that reached us. It was like there was an enormous threat hanging over and you didn't know where, when and how it would strike.
    helmet.JPG

    I've seen a lot of water this time. I've seen a waterfall with only a small amount of water falling down. I saw the sea. I've seen boats ( around seven) that were 'parked' next to each other along a riverbank. Long, small wooden boats with slightly different 'front-tops'.

    I've seen a big cave, from inside out. It was rather high and I saw people standing as silhouettes against the bright sunlight outside. This was alarming to me. Because I already know by now that women were never allowed to enter caves for religious reasons. Except for being sacrificed.

    Once again I was driven by a strong impulse to stop this regression again, no matter how many times I had told myself I was ready for the truth to be shown.
    I got painful cramps in my guts - in my real body - after I stopped this session as abrupt as the other sessions before. Really painful. I wondered whether this was the tension of regressing to a traumatic death in a former life or maybe my death had been related to the extraction of intestines. I don't know. After this regression, this pain stayed with me for half an hour or a bit longer, but then it went away and hasn't come back so far. This was yesterday.
    ,,
     
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  21. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    So, what do I know about my former life as a Mayan girl?

    I was a happy girl with pet birds, living in a hut in the jungle. I knew to weave. I walked barefoot, wore a skirt and a white blouse and I felt a continuous interaction with the Nature around me.

    Then, one day, my family gave me away, put me out of the family circle. The family member who carried me out of the circle had his head shaven, so it must have been a mourning experience to him too.

    They had given me sandals to walk on when I left and also a thick shawl. Things I didn't wear before. My bird was not with me. He must have died before or even during the expulsion.

    I went to a city like place. Not sure how much time I stayed there. Maybe a short time, maybe several years. They made me look like a woman, dressed me like a woman but I have no clues of sexual abuse. Maybe I stayed there two years in which I grew up to be a woman anyway, I don't know. I hated to be there and I hated my new looks.

    They made a kind of princes or representation of a goddess of me. Beautiful clothes, robes, knotted hair and things on top of it. I saw gold.

    In one regression she said: I am a hare. Well, in the Mayan calendar the hare or rabbit symbolizes the goddess Ix Chel. Maybe a girl born on the Day of the Rabbit(hare) was dedicated to the Moon Goddess.
    The old Mayan culture was primarily obsessed with blood. All kind of cultural and political behavior was based on blood (life force) and fear for the Underworld (death).

    They didn't waste blood easily. They used war prisoners for sacrifices. Female sacrifices were often princesses. Royal blood had a high value. The royal males just donated a little bit and didn't die at all.

    So my mind wanders in all kind of directions. I was not a princess. Maybe they made me one in a ritual sense. Maybe they were running out of princesses, maybe I had to swap place with someone else. Maybe it was a great scam. Maybe it was absolutely normal to raise the status of a low-status girl just before the ceremony. It was not something that happened overnight. There was some tranquility (and tension) in my visions of that stone hall were I dwelled somehow as a dressed up woman. They made me watch the dragging of some prisoners as a duty but with honor. As it was in honor of me or my group from that moment.
    During that stay in that stone place (palace or temple??) I left my body constantly. I was in that building and floating in space and above the landscape and trees, mostly at night or very shortly before darkness fell in. I guess it had to do with the consumption of pulque.


    My intuition tells me it was all about the Moon goddess. If my former self had been born on the day of the Rabbit/Hare, she could have had a legitimate reason to impersonate the Moon Goddess in a ceremony.
    • ixchel with rabbit.jpg Moon Goddess Ix Chel with Rabbit

    I've read about a Moon ceremony (I forgot to save the link) in which the Moon was considered female half of the lunar month than transcended into male for the second part of the Moon cycle. This process was reenacted by people dressed up as gods. The female got ritually sacrificed as soon as her role was finished.

    I read this article before my fifth visit to the Mayan life. In this last regression, I saw a lot of water in different natural forms (sea, waterfall, lake and river) and water symbolizes the Mayan God Lord Chac, but also the Moon Goddess. The male god lived in a cave in the Underworld while the Moon Goddess was supposed to wander the skies until the absence of the Moon. She was thought to hide in a cave in the Underworld (and mingle with Lord Chac) while there was no Moon in the sky.

    It's just an assumption, but a possibility:

    This young Mayan girl was taken from her home because she was born on a specific day and brought to a place of worship of the Moon Goddess. For a short period of time,she was acting a role. I wouldn't be surprised if it were until her first menstruation period, because then she was no longer useful in ceremonies and temples (those were forbidden to females in their fertile years). As soon as she became a woman, they disposed of her and brought her to a cave (the ritual Underworld,as a gift to Lord Chac)

    Some fragments about It Chel and the Moon and the Hare (I can't copy and paste that text, so I made images of the texts)
    from: Time and Moon in Maya culture: the case of Cozumel

    text 1.JPG
    ....

    text 2.JPG

    Finally,
    I understand that all this information is only interesting to people who also feel a connection to the Mayan culture. I start to understand the mythical ways of thinking, combined with astrology and political order.

    I remember a dream I had, around thirty years ago. My best friend at the time had gone to Guatemala to live there for a while. I was a bit envious, not much but it made me restless. There was no internet in that era and I was curious how things went in her life. I started dreaming restlessly (I saw her unborn child in a dream, for example). But the dream I never forgot had made an impact on me. I was in Guatemala and found myself on top of a mountain or a high place. There was a local problem (something like drought) and hundreds of local people came to me to ask for help, They all came up to that high chair I was sitting in. The only thing I could think of in my head was: Why do you come to me? I am not the one you think I am. I felt like an imposter, a stranger and I really didn't like that position. I felt awful after that dream and I have never forgotten that awful feeling.

    This is one of the many, many things that I start to remember these days. Perhaps it was a past life memory, triggered by my friends stay in Guatemala. Maybe I played a ceremonial role for a short period of time. People asking for rain.

    text3.JPG
     
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  22. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    three aspects of Ix Chel.JPG

    Lovely painting: three aspects of Ix Chel.
    I recognize all kinds of elements or symbolism from my regression
     
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  23. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    And now what?.... The rage and the Kundalini

    What is healing? Great question. I thought I knew it all about this concept but I find myself in a position right now where I am a bit helpless. I am sure I'll find my way out somehow but for the moment my navigation is lost.

    The impact of getting in touch with this former life is huge. For days I was consumed with rages that I projected on a conflict I have in real life, a conflict that had been the real trigger for remembering this old life although it hadn't happened simultaneously. The big issue is broken trust.

    I thought I was healing when I reconnected with the little girl, soul retrieval at its best. It certainly was. Merging with a lost part of myself that was a complete and harmonious soul at that time felt so good and comforting. It just happened, I hadn't done any ritual or ceremony. She just filled my space and I knew we were One. She was similar to the one I was in my current childhood. There is no room for doubt about that.

    In this life, I had a happy childhood without trauma. And now I am lost because with this reconnection, the unresolved pain came with her luggage. I try to deal with it in a mature way but it doesn't seem to work. I am reluctant to say I act like a screaming child in a big body. I do get a lot of insights but they don't take away the pain, the rages that go through my body, the burning sensation in my heart.

    Now I came to realize that those rages and anger were disguised kundalini power. In my current confusion, I hadn't been aware enough to realize this sooner. I had tried to free myself from this anger and I managed to put it outside of my body. Then the emotion was gone but this restless energy was still inside of me: pure kundalini.

    For the people who don't know me, in 2016 I experienced a kundalini activation and rising by surprise. This meant in my case that my chakras went in hyperdrive, my nerve system almost 'burned down' which was followed by a bizarre energetic experience that changed my life completely. I was not into yoga or other forms of meditation.

    Some people think this means attaining enlightenment but that's not the case. It's just a reconnection to Lifeforce herself. It can be raw and painful, it can be sweet and caring. The one thing you should never do is to block this energy from moving through you.

    Kundalini energy is also a trauma healer. It seems I am thrown in such a place right now. The theory becomes an active thing in my life again. I had already decided to stop regressing to this former life because the panic was too real. I couldn't face the facts that had really happened to me in the past. I could not process my pain in the past and am still not able to do that in the Now. And without consciously realizing it, the Kundalini stepped in and took over.

    I am clueless in this. It feels like a high-pressure cloud of bubbling energy that travels up and down my body, day and night. It triggers emotions to rise up and I have to take care not to get consumed by them. And to let go as well. It makes me fall asleep suddenly or it takes away my night rest. What I understand from people with experience is that I don't have to do anything with this hidden unconscious trauma myself. My only job is to let this healing happen without obstruction.

    I don't know where I am going to, I don't know how long it will take to regain peace again. I don't know how to speed up this (uncomfortable) process in order to 'be normal again' and I even don't know if this would be a wise thing to do anyway. It's a physical thing too. I really feel my heart burning. I physically feel this energy cloud moving around my body, concentrating on different areas all the time, making me hypersensitive as well.

    It's not the first time I encounter a soul shock in my past. The first time was when I remembered myself on the eve of the execution of my then husband. A bit similar. Life with him was 'perfect' and they took him away from me. I was consumed by rage as well in that life, seems to be a characteristic of my core soul. (lol) When I think back to remembering those intense emotions (with a backfire in my current body) I do remember that my kundalini energy was very active too that time. In hindsight, maybe the same process was going on as now, without realizing it. The result is clear, there is not a single negative emotion left inside of me about that memory of losing the love of my life in a brutal way. Interesting.
     
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  24. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    A love song for a macaw, a guacamayo





    upload_2019-6-5_22-52-8.png

    upload_2019-6-5_22-53-8.png

    upload_2019-6-5_22-53-45.png
     
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  25. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I thought it was best to put my reply in this place instead of the thread about Freddy Mercury.



    Hi Ocean,
    Most of your questions, I don't know. I don't see it as a step backward in my evolution, because I always knew/assumed that we've always been perfect from the beginning of times. I think it was last year that I did a video transgression with a Youtube video, and I entered a state of mind in which I was a small infant in an environment of ice, rocks, wolves and caves. I was not primitive at all, I could think in words and sentences. I felt safe and secure. I was a baby from a few months old, strapped in a babycarrier made of wood and animal fur. I kept repeating in my head: "We are the children of the Stars". I understood that this was my first time visiting Earth as a human. Baby's head was full of excitement, joy and curiosity.

    I know all this research into former lives could be a huge illusion in the end, I always keep this option in the back of my mind. Maybe we just imagine stories to make sense of a world that makes no sense at all. But this powerful (spiritual) experience of being this baby in first perspective (I was in his/her body) seems to confirm my old belief that even the primitive human dwellers from ancient times had the same intelligence as we have nowadays. No difference.

    The experience I am referring to was another life.

    The voice of the video pulled me back to the Mayan life. Asking for one word to describe that life. I came with: Precious. Then he asked for the meaning of that life, what did I learn from it? I realized that this trauma had exactly been the purpose of that life. I grew up in Paradise in absolute harmony with Nature. I was a complete soul in the beginning and then I was lured into some cruel environment that crushed my soul.
    From a Higher perspective, this had been the purpose in itself. Like an eternal movement of building up and destroying after its completion. Over and over again.
     
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  26. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Firefly,

    A saying from India comes to my mind. Maybe you will find it applicable and maybe not. However, it was about meditation and a comparison was made to the dying of fabric using the old fashioned kind of organic dyes that work gradually but do not fade, even in the brightest sunlight. Similarly, it was said that meditation over time worked the same way. In dying, the fabric is dipped and soaked and comes out with a small amount of color, which after drying in the air and being subjected to the harsh sun fades to almost nothing, but the process is repeated over and over and over and . . . . dip/fade, dip/fade, adding a little bit of color that lasts each time.

    You get the idea. Eventually, the color is full and bold and does not fade when subjected to the harsh elements. So, it was said, are the peace and spiritual changes gained in meditation. A person must immerse themselves in that inner peace and return to the harsh outer elements of life again and again until he/she is fully "dyed" and "colorfast"--retaining what was experienced and gained despite anything the outside world can do.

    This may be an inapt analogy, but it seems like your experience fits into this paradigm. So, I would modify your last statement to incorporate the idea that each "destruction" destroys a little less than last time, and each re-building is a little closer to being perfect until . . . .

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  27. Speedwell

    Speedwell Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi fireflydancing, those are interesting thoughts as well as memories. I don't have specific recall of a life from those times, but I do have a great resonance with ice-age life and the creatures such as mammoth and bison which feature in cave-art. I've also a strong feeling towards cave art. On a related track to your thinking, I'm always disappointed with depictions of stone-age or even ice-age humans as grunting savages. I've always felt that on the inside, they were on the whole just like ourselves, not different at all. But this is the problem of history, where people like to present it as an upward progression towards a better world. And that after we just left the 20th century, packed with technology and science, alongside the most brutal and cruel warfare and treatment of fellow-humans.

    The only way I can make sense of this is to see human incarnations as like a long conveyor-belt. At one end, fresh (to this human existence) pure souls climbing aboard, and after untold number of incarnations, pure souls stepping off the other end. But the bit in between, always gets messy and complicated. We get caught up in our own dreams and visions of how we understand this world, it is the progress of our mental picture of the world, how we see ourselves and our relationship to the world and the life upon it which gets entangled and is gradually teased and combed until it is straightened out. I'm picturing fronds of plants growing under a river, gently waving and moving from side to side, but holding their place despite the roaring torrents flowing around them.

    On the question of former lives being an illusion, the only thing I would say there is, they are not all illusion. When it comes to more distant or unverifiable recall, those may be useful even if we regard them as a kind of parable or mythology. In fact that's one of my thoughts, this life, even today right now, is a kind of dream which responds to our thoughts and dreams. Sometimes there are things which happen, little things which mean something only to the individual, which make it clear that this world is not just a random machine, but is shaped by our thoughts. On more recent past-lives which may be verifiable, certainly there are sometimes misidentifications, but there are still elements which can only be explained by some actual past-life, even if it is adjacent or taking place in the same time-period as the things which are recalled.
     
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  28. cloud potato

    cloud potato Senior Registered

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    Wow, I can't believe I hadn't seen this thread before. Thank you for all these lovely post! =)
     
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