My 2-yr-old obsessed with past life... Need help
- Thread starter sofiajt
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sofiajt
Sofia
My dear friends,
We are making progress!! Ok, so this is definitely a big breakthrough. As I told you before, my daughter a few months ago, could not differentiate between past and present, she had no sense of time. About a month ago, I think, she started to understand the words "yesterday" and "tomorrow"... So taking that into consideration...
She was going the other morning through a crisis, getting really scared of the men who would come and take her (sirens are always a big trigger) and to be honest, I was tired. "Is this ever going to be over?", I thought. So I grabbed a big sheet of paper and crayons and divided into two sections. "We are going to paint," I told her. On one section with a black crayon I started drawing her past life, as a grown adolescent, inside her house with her grandma and brother. And I drew some policemen with helmets and guns who were coming to knock on the door. She was agreeing with me the whole time. Then, I drew her new life, in many colors, her new family, her cat, her cousin, her aunt and uncle, her new grandma. "Ok, I said. See? This is you now, sweetie, with this new family. That over there, that is the other [name]. This in color is the new [name], and no one is coming to take you here. There are no bad policemen here to take you." And I asked her to help me scratch the policemen with the black crayon... She seemed to really enjoy that... I certainly did. I ended up tearing up that side of the paper, for myself mostly, I think...
Anywho, a couple days ago she wanted to share something with me about her past life and she said, "Mom, the man hurt the other [name], he hit her leg. He hit her." YES!!!
Also, we recently saw my cousins who have the van and gave us a ride home. Last time, when we got in the van with everyone she went into hysterics, apparently because it reminded her of when they went to take everyone away. This time, it didn't phase her at all. She actually was admiring the van and told my cousin, "Wow! You have a big, nice truck!!" And was listening to the music on the loudspeaker, dancing.
So yes, there IS hope. I wouldn't love anything more than she grows into a happy child and forgets everything else until she is ready to remember, if she ever has to...
love,
sofia
We are making progress!! Ok, so this is definitely a big breakthrough. As I told you before, my daughter a few months ago, could not differentiate between past and present, she had no sense of time. About a month ago, I think, she started to understand the words "yesterday" and "tomorrow"... So taking that into consideration...
She was going the other morning through a crisis, getting really scared of the men who would come and take her (sirens are always a big trigger) and to be honest, I was tired. "Is this ever going to be over?", I thought. So I grabbed a big sheet of paper and crayons and divided into two sections. "We are going to paint," I told her. On one section with a black crayon I started drawing her past life, as a grown adolescent, inside her house with her grandma and brother. And I drew some policemen with helmets and guns who were coming to knock on the door. She was agreeing with me the whole time. Then, I drew her new life, in many colors, her new family, her cat, her cousin, her aunt and uncle, her new grandma. "Ok, I said. See? This is you now, sweetie, with this new family. That over there, that is the other [name]. This in color is the new [name], and no one is coming to take you here. There are no bad policemen here to take you." And I asked her to help me scratch the policemen with the black crayon... She seemed to really enjoy that... I certainly did. I ended up tearing up that side of the paper, for myself mostly, I think...
Anywho, a couple days ago she wanted to share something with me about her past life and she said, "Mom, the man hurt the other [name], he hit her leg. He hit her." YES!!!
Also, we recently saw my cousins who have the van and gave us a ride home. Last time, when we got in the van with everyone she went into hysterics, apparently because it reminded her of when they went to take everyone away. This time, it didn't phase her at all. She actually was admiring the van and told my cousin, "Wow! You have a big, nice truck!!" And was listening to the music on the loudspeaker, dancing.
So yes, there IS hope. I wouldn't love anything more than she grows into a happy child and forgets everything else until she is ready to remember, if she ever has to...
love,
sofia
Sofia,
That's great news!
You had an inspired moment when you did the two drawings side by side. What a great way to help your daughter separate the two lives, and understand that she is in a new life.
It's wonderful to hear that she could get in the van and not be triggered by her past life memory of being taken away. That's real progress.
I believe that she will work through this, with your help, and have a good life. If she needs to revisit the past when she's much older, she'll be able to handle it. But, that might not be necessary if she releases the trauma now.
Maybe she'll grow up to be a political activist or lawyer seeking justice. It will be interesting to see how she develops knowing what she experienced in the past.
That's great news!
You had an inspired moment when you did the two drawings side by side. What a great way to help your daughter separate the two lives, and understand that she is in a new life.
It's wonderful to hear that she could get in the van and not be triggered by her past life memory of being taken away. That's real progress.
I believe that she will work through this, with your help, and have a good life. If she needs to revisit the past when she's much older, she'll be able to handle it. But, that might not be necessary if she releases the trauma now.
Maybe she'll grow up to be a political activist or lawyer seeking justice. It will be interesting to see how she develops knowing what she experienced in the past.
Mere Dreamer
Senior Registered
Wonderful, Sophia! I'm so glad you can clearly see signs of progress. Your idea of sketching it out is so helpful because it takes it outside of her head where she can see the distinction. Using color for her new life? Beautiful imagery!
Ehrenbreitstein
Senior Member
I'm really happy you're keeping us updated on what is going on with your daughter. It really is amazing for me to read your story.
tanguerra
Moderator Emeritus
Hi Sofia,
I've just read all of this. It sounds like you have been doing all the right things.
When I was little I remembered past lives very clearly but could not talk to anyone about it. I tried, but they didn't know what I was on about, so after a while I just stopped talking about it. I understand her saying it wasn't a 'past life' but 'this life' because at that age it all seemed the same to me. It just felt like a continuation. I didn't remember the 'bits in between' at all clearly.
I think you should keep doing what you are doing - providing reassurance that she is safe now, reminding her that 'el papo' is gone away, letting her talk about it, dealing with her gently when she gets upset - but not allowing her to use it as an excuse to get treats!
No doubt before long this will begin to fade away once she has processed it. I think the idea of playing at being an 'angry lion' is a terrific one. It will give her a safe way to vent her angry feelings and a way to release them in a playful way. Doing drawings with her and acting out with toys is also excellent.
People often incarnate back into the same family groups. It seems to happen a lot, which is in part where this idea of 'genetic memory' stems from in my view. It could be that she was a member of your family. That may come to light further down the track and I only mention it in case she says something about it so you don't feel surprised. You may even be able to work out who she 'was' in time.
Best wishes to you and your little girl and I hope things settle down before long.
I've just read all of this. It sounds like you have been doing all the right things.
When I was little I remembered past lives very clearly but could not talk to anyone about it. I tried, but they didn't know what I was on about, so after a while I just stopped talking about it. I understand her saying it wasn't a 'past life' but 'this life' because at that age it all seemed the same to me. It just felt like a continuation. I didn't remember the 'bits in between' at all clearly.
I think you should keep doing what you are doing - providing reassurance that she is safe now, reminding her that 'el papo' is gone away, letting her talk about it, dealing with her gently when she gets upset - but not allowing her to use it as an excuse to get treats!
No doubt before long this will begin to fade away once she has processed it. I think the idea of playing at being an 'angry lion' is a terrific one. It will give her a safe way to vent her angry feelings and a way to release them in a playful way. Doing drawings with her and acting out with toys is also excellent.
People often incarnate back into the same family groups. It seems to happen a lot, which is in part where this idea of 'genetic memory' stems from in my view. It could be that she was a member of your family. That may come to light further down the track and I only mention it in case she says something about it so you don't feel surprised. You may even be able to work out who she 'was' in time.
Best wishes to you and your little girl and I hope things settle down before long.
sofiajt
Sofia
Thank you, tanguerra! That gives me a lot of hope...
Well, we still seem to be making progress and Carol, thanks to your book, sometimes we are making strides. I don´t have the best memory, but when things from your book need to kick in, they just do!
My daughter for a couple of nights, right before going to sleep (remember it´s an issue with her because she is afraid of having nightmares), has told me, "Mom, you don´t take care of me." At first it kind of shocked me, but then I remembered... "she´s talking about her other mom."
So when she repeated it I said, "Sweetie, I know you are talking about your other mom, and I´m sorry she couldn´t take care of you. She closed her eyes, remember? And she couldn´t be there for you, but it wasn´t her fault. But I am a new mommy sweetie, and this is your new daddy and your new cat and your new grandma, and your new family. We are here for you and will take care of you." "My new mommy?" she asked. "Yes, sweetie, your new mommy."
So for the past couple days since, EVERYTHING is new. It actually has become pretty funny, it´s her new house, her new chair, even her new knee (when she scrapped it on the floor), her new clothes, and her new mommy and daddy. I was out for a couple hours and she asked my husband to call me over the phone, "I want my new mommy," she said...
Last night, then, she finally told us how her other mom died. It seems she lost her much before the cops came for them. Obviously, it was an issue that she needed to get off her chest. She cried and cried, and we held her, and then we played with butterfly stickers, and started talking about Tinkerbell whom she totally adores... And she fell asleep.
It is such a relief to be able finally to help her separate the two worlds.
peace,
sofia
Well, we still seem to be making progress and Carol, thanks to your book, sometimes we are making strides. I don´t have the best memory, but when things from your book need to kick in, they just do!
My daughter for a couple of nights, right before going to sleep (remember it´s an issue with her because she is afraid of having nightmares), has told me, "Mom, you don´t take care of me." At first it kind of shocked me, but then I remembered... "she´s talking about her other mom."
So when she repeated it I said, "Sweetie, I know you are talking about your other mom, and I´m sorry she couldn´t take care of you. She closed her eyes, remember? And she couldn´t be there for you, but it wasn´t her fault. But I am a new mommy sweetie, and this is your new daddy and your new cat and your new grandma, and your new family. We are here for you and will take care of you." "My new mommy?" she asked. "Yes, sweetie, your new mommy."
So for the past couple days since, EVERYTHING is new. It actually has become pretty funny, it´s her new house, her new chair, even her new knee (when she scrapped it on the floor), her new clothes, and her new mommy and daddy. I was out for a couple hours and she asked my husband to call me over the phone, "I want my new mommy," she said...
Last night, then, she finally told us how her other mom died. It seems she lost her much before the cops came for them. Obviously, it was an issue that she needed to get off her chest. She cried and cried, and we held her, and then we played with butterfly stickers, and started talking about Tinkerbell whom she totally adores... And she fell asleep.
It is such a relief to be able finally to help her separate the two worlds.
peace,
sofia
Mere Dreamer
Senior Registered
Beautiful, Sophiajt! It's inspiring to see how you help her process this new perspective and find healing.
For the first decade, my parents approach was what my Dad called an 'ostrich sticking it's head in the sand.' They wanted to pretend it wasn't real and that there was some sort of logical and rational explanation grounded in a physical reality rather than a 'spiritual connection.' (They often tried to tell me that I had stayed up late watching TV and heard a program that was 'planted' in my mind that made it seem real - rather than fantasy.)dking777 said:
Wow Dking, that is about verbatim how my parents handled my Pearl Harbor nighmares at age 4.They were convinced I had watched too much TV.Even after I made them take me to see Tora Tora Tora first run at age 5.My Mom said I immediately began correcting the movie.This still didn't ring any alarm bells.Oh well it was 1970....
dking777
Senior Registered
In defense of parents around the world - I look back on it with understanding and realize it was just as hard on them as it was me, and I feel my parents (and many parents who deal with this theme) do the best they can with a mystery that is hard for the rational and logical mind to comprehend. In later years, my parents said they were trying to 'rule' out all the possibilities. Their attitude in our journey together changed over the years. Thank goodness the attitudes of many are changing with the times. I am grateful that many parents now have the resources available to deal with this with a 'sense of community' and know they are not alone with it. I wonder now how my parents would have reacted had the Internet been a part of the home in the late 60's and early 70's. I know that eventually, my parents said they did their own networking talking to as many friends who had children asking other parents if they had dealt with similar situations that my family were encountering and asking friends to ask around on their behalf for any advise they could get. I feel my parents acted responsibly with what they had to work with given the social and cultural climate of the times.dc10boy said:
My opinion now is - that "past life recall" is just as hard on parents as it is the children - and possibly even harder on the parents than it is the child. I have a great deal of sympathy for parents who go through this ordeal with their growing child - now that I have an 'adult' view of what exactly I put my own parents through.
.Sincerely,
DKing
Mama2HRB
Senior member
As the parent of a child who spontaneously started talking about past life memories, talking to dead people, seeing Heaven and a bunch of other things all at one.
I was freaked out ... beyond freaked out. I remember once being in the bedroom with her, lying on the bed beside her as she spoke and pulling the covers over my head. Mental overload .... LOL ...
I was freaked out ... beyond freaked out. I remember once being in the bedroom with her, lying on the bed beside her as she spoke and pulling the covers over my head. Mental overload .... LOL ...
sofiajt
Sofia
Dear Friends,
As I watch my daughter dance here in our living room, I cannot but be happy for all the leaps and progress we've made as a family these past months. I owe you an update...
Two big events happened... First, my daughter finally remembered her death. In the beginning I wasn't so sure that that "was it", since she woke up at 3 am crying and we were half asleep when she told us about it. But since then, she has repeated the event several times in different ways. In short, she said she was thrown from a plane into the sea, which was a common way the military in several Latin American countries used to get rid of prisoners. Many of the disappeared come from this practice. The only thing is that she remembers falling (and a few times has woken up crying) but not drowning or leaving her body. I'm guessing that that will come later in life when/if we decide to do a regression as she gets much older.
The second huge event was that she has mentioned more than once now that I was there with her... I am not clear whether as a victim or perpetrator (imagine my horror in the beginning), but it has forced me to do a lot of soul searching and it does explain why in many ways I'm always down on myself... Or why I get chills with the mere mention of Guatemala. It just hurts too much. Anywho, at one point I got the courage to ask her if "back then" I was a policeman to which she said, "no, mom, you also got eaten by sharks." I'm sorry, but I busted out laughing. I mean, this is all such a huge mystery, I guess the best I can do is laugh. In the end, we (I mean, all of us in this forum) have been blessed to have this extra bit of knowledge, don't you think?
But in general, I can happily say that my daughter is doing much, much, much better. Most of her "triggers" and phobias are gone: no fear of dogs, dresses, water on her face, thunder, when someone knocks on the door... Today, for the first time, she heard a siren and started laughing. "Mom, a siren!", she said laughing. Maybe I'll stop getting tense every time I hear one too.
She does have a keen hearing ability for planes, though, as it reminds of her fall, but now I know that one day that will go away too...
One thing I wanted to share is that in May she started going to nursery school but after a few months we decided to take her out of school and let her stay home with us (she's just 2 and 6 months). That's because she was getting really stressed out saying that she was afraid to lose us, that she was afraid I would die... Apparently when she lost her mother in the other life it was one day when she came back from school and her mother was just gone. They found her later dead in the forest somewhere. I was very hesitant in the beginning, but I'm sure we made the right decision now. It has made a huge difference and built a lot of confidence in her. She has told me so many times she is so happy to be home... She'll go to school when she's ready.
That's it for now. Much love to everyone.
Sofía
As I watch my daughter dance here in our living room, I cannot but be happy for all the leaps and progress we've made as a family these past months. I owe you an update...
Two big events happened... First, my daughter finally remembered her death. In the beginning I wasn't so sure that that "was it", since she woke up at 3 am crying and we were half asleep when she told us about it. But since then, she has repeated the event several times in different ways. In short, she said she was thrown from a plane into the sea, which was a common way the military in several Latin American countries used to get rid of prisoners. Many of the disappeared come from this practice. The only thing is that she remembers falling (and a few times has woken up crying) but not drowning or leaving her body. I'm guessing that that will come later in life when/if we decide to do a regression as she gets much older.
The second huge event was that she has mentioned more than once now that I was there with her... I am not clear whether as a victim or perpetrator (imagine my horror in the beginning), but it has forced me to do a lot of soul searching and it does explain why in many ways I'm always down on myself... Or why I get chills with the mere mention of Guatemala. It just hurts too much. Anywho, at one point I got the courage to ask her if "back then" I was a policeman to which she said, "no, mom, you also got eaten by sharks." I'm sorry, but I busted out laughing. I mean, this is all such a huge mystery, I guess the best I can do is laugh. In the end, we (I mean, all of us in this forum) have been blessed to have this extra bit of knowledge, don't you think?
But in general, I can happily say that my daughter is doing much, much, much better. Most of her "triggers" and phobias are gone: no fear of dogs, dresses, water on her face, thunder, when someone knocks on the door... Today, for the first time, she heard a siren and started laughing. "Mom, a siren!", she said laughing. Maybe I'll stop getting tense every time I hear one too.
She does have a keen hearing ability for planes, though, as it reminds of her fall, but now I know that one day that will go away too...
One thing I wanted to share is that in May she started going to nursery school but after a few months we decided to take her out of school and let her stay home with us (she's just 2 and 6 months). That's because she was getting really stressed out saying that she was afraid to lose us, that she was afraid I would die... Apparently when she lost her mother in the other life it was one day when she came back from school and her mother was just gone. They found her later dead in the forest somewhere. I was very hesitant in the beginning, but I'm sure we made the right decision now. It has made a huge difference and built a lot of confidence in her. She has told me so many times she is so happy to be home... She'll go to school when she's ready.
That's it for now. Much love to everyone.
Sofía
Sofia,
Thank you for sharing the good news with us! That's wonderful!!
I think you did the right thing in keeping her home from nursery school once she expressed her fear of losing you. There's plenty of time for her to go to school, since she's just a two-year-old. She's been through SO much. I think that she does need to feel that stability and safety in staying home with you--for the time being. You'll know when she's ready. She'll probably tell you.
Please keep us posted.
All our best...
Thank you for sharing the good news with us! That's wonderful!!
I think you did the right thing in keeping her home from nursery school once she expressed her fear of losing you. There's plenty of time for her to go to school, since she's just a two-year-old. She's been through SO much. I think that she does need to feel that stability and safety in staying home with you--for the time being. You'll know when she's ready. She'll probably tell you.
Please keep us posted.
All our best...
Sofiajt
Carol is right, there will be time for School later on, what is important is that your daughter work through the trauma's of her Past Live(s) that is impacting the quality of her life in this incarnation.
So many people look at a young child as a "Clean Slate" and dismiss him/her outright and forget that the child has had many experiences in their Past Lives, some of which might prove problematic to the child and/or the parent(s).
Keep up the excellent attention to your daughter and please keep us updated, work and family life permitting of course.
Thank you very much for allowing us a glimpse into the memories of a very special child.
Carol is right, there will be time for School later on, what is important is that your daughter work through the trauma's of her Past Live(s) that is impacting the quality of her life in this incarnation.
So many people look at a young child as a "Clean Slate" and dismiss him/her outright and forget that the child has had many experiences in their Past Lives, some of which might prove problematic to the child and/or the parent(s).
Keep up the excellent attention to your daughter and please keep us updated, work and family life permitting of course.
Thank you very much for allowing us a glimpse into the memories of a very special child.
Mama2HRB
Senior member
You are doing well with her. I am glad to hear all the progress you have made. After the plane crash recently I asked a friend what would happen if you fell from a plane and he said you freeze to death and it would be all over very quickly. My bet is neither of you felt anything once thrown out of the plane.
I am glad you both decided to come back together. This time you can enjoy life
I am glad you both decided to come back together. This time you can enjoy life
argonne1918
Senior Registered
It depends on the height of the plane. In any case I think the soul would leave the body before impact, the same as the 9-11 victims and others report. BTW, I read news reports in the 1970's that the U.S. did the same thing during the Viet Nam War. Throwing Viet Cong prisoners out of Huey helicopters in order to get information out of them.Mama2HRB said:
sofiajt
Sofia
Thanks so much for the encouragement and support on the school thing... Sometimes is hard to make decisions based on an issue that you can't really share with everyone, but I knew you would understand... Our priority right now is that my daughter gets her past life out of her system, in a way, and that she feels safe, confident, and taken care of.
Thanks for the tips on the plane thing. It always help to think about how it really happened, maybe I can guide her somehow, but no rush. Everything has its own timing.
By the way, I don't know if I channel something but it seems every time I write on this forum my daughter has an episode. Yesterday she woke up really afraid, irritable, and tense and it took me a while to figure out that it was because she had had a nightmare. When I asked, she told me that the cops had been beating her and felt exhausted, but what is interesting is that she put her dad in the dream who ended up protecting her from the "bad men" and driving them away. It's the first time she does that. She said he had bigger boots than the bad men did... I'm happy he makes her feel safe.
But what I wanted to share with other parents out there is that we had a really hard day yesterday. I mean, she was in such a bad mood for most of the morning, didn't want to eat, didn't want to follow instructions on even basic stuff, forget about potty-training for the day. Everything was a huge struggle, and my internal struggle was to keep calm as best as I could... But by midday, I was soooooo tired. Little kids can be so exhausting. I'm guessing it happens to everyone but the key here is that I have to force myself to stay calm because I don't want to trigger anything. She's already dealing with so much. So, keeping calm but also putting my foot down on certain things is really hard. It reminds me of my friend Ukwood on the other thread... It's not always easy not raising your voice at a little kid, but kids with trauma tend to connect the two, so it feels like an extra challenge.
I was lucky that dad didn't have to work in the afternoon so when I told him what was going on (actually my daughter made a point of telling him about the nightmare, which she doesn't usually do. That she feels comfortable sharing that makes me super happy), he took her out. They spent all afternoon in the park, out with friends, playing. She was doing so much better when she came back... Back to her usual self.
One day at a time...
Sometimes is hard to make decisions based on an issue that you can't really share with everyone, but I knew you would understand... Our priority right now is that my daughter gets her past life out of her system, in a way, and that she feels safe, confident, and taken care of.Thanks for the tips on the plane thing. It always help to think about how it really happened, maybe I can guide her somehow, but no rush. Everything has its own timing.
By the way, I don't know if I channel something but it seems every time I write on this forum my daughter has an episode. Yesterday she woke up really afraid, irritable, and tense and it took me a while to figure out that it was because she had had a nightmare. When I asked, she told me that the cops had been beating her and felt exhausted, but what is interesting is that she put her dad in the dream who ended up protecting her from the "bad men" and driving them away. It's the first time she does that. She said he had bigger boots than the bad men did... I'm happy he makes her feel safe.
But what I wanted to share with other parents out there is that we had a really hard day yesterday. I mean, she was in such a bad mood for most of the morning, didn't want to eat, didn't want to follow instructions on even basic stuff, forget about potty-training for the day. Everything was a huge struggle, and my internal struggle was to keep calm as best as I could... But by midday, I was soooooo tired. Little kids can be so exhausting. I'm guessing it happens to everyone but the key here is that I have to force myself to stay calm because I don't want to trigger anything. She's already dealing with so much. So, keeping calm but also putting my foot down on certain things is really hard. It reminds me of my friend Ukwood on the other thread... It's not always easy not raising your voice at a little kid, but kids with trauma tend to connect the two, so it feels like an extra challenge.
I was lucky that dad didn't have to work in the afternoon so when I told him what was going on (actually my daughter made a point of telling him about the nightmare, which she doesn't usually do. That she feels comfortable sharing that makes me super happy), he took her out. They spent all afternoon in the park, out with friends, playing. She was doing so much better when she came back... Back to her usual self.
One day at a time...
argonne1918
Senior Registered
I wonder if she knew her dad in a past life? Have you asked her or has she ever talked about it? Since she has told you that you were with her before maybe she knew both of you before.sofiajt said:
Mama2HRB
Senior member
There is a chance your daughter will never "get it out of her system". Mine never did. What I can tell you, now that my daughter is an adult, that if she knows you are there for her 100% and you listen and help, even just hold her, she will be okay with it all.
I have had to make many decisions that people who did not know thought I was being mean. For instance, I could not allow her to go to the Holocaust Museum without me ... I cannot even imagine what would have happened when the memories came flooding back ... and I wasn't there ... and the repercussions from her friends ....
So, to you I say, do what is best for your daughter and when people ask questions just smile and move along. It worked for me.
((Hugs))
I have had to make many decisions that people who did not know thought I was being mean. For instance, I could not allow her to go to the Holocaust Museum without me ... I cannot even imagine what would have happened when the memories came flooding back ... and I wasn't there ... and the repercussions from her friends ....
So, to you I say, do what is best for your daughter and when people ask questions just smile and move along. It worked for me.
((Hugs))
tanguerra
Moderator Emeritus
I know what it's like. Little kids can really drive you nuts, especially if they're in a bad mood, for whatever reason, whether they're getting a cold, or haven't had enough sleep or are just feeling cranky.sofiajt said:
Yelling at kids is not the best way to get them to behave in any case, so you will need to find other ways to assert yourself and not just because of trauma, but because it's just not a good technique and won't serve you well in the longer term.
With my kids, when they were small, I'd have a three part system:
1. Ask nicely (Come on sweetie, let's put those shoes on...)
2. Ask less nicely (Put your shoes on now please)
3. Threaten a consequence (If you don't hurry up, you'll run out of time for your story / If you keep being naughty I'll have to put you in your room for a while / Only good children are allowed to have an ice cream at the shops ...)
They got the idea pretty quickly that it's better to do it when asked the first time and I didn't have to yell at them and still don't now that they're big. I used the same system right up into their late teens and it still worked. (Boys who are too immature to do their homework, are not mature enough to drive the car...)
The 'threat' has to be something small that they believe you will do (and you are fully prepared to do) and it's going to happen immediately. Things too far into the future make no sense to little kids. Don't bribe them with treats for being good, because they wake up to that one pretty quickly. A mixture of 'carrot and stick' works best when dealing with a stubborn or moody toddler.
Mama2HRB
Senior member
Great ideas, T. I will pass them along to my daughter, I know she has her hands full with her almost 2 year old.
My siblings never did get the message .. they screamed, yelled, hit their kids. Their homes were always full of chaos.
I quietly explained why and took things when they were really bad. Mine are quiet and respectful.
Children really do learn what they live. Well .... until they become teens. LOL
My siblings never did get the message .. they screamed, yelled, hit their kids. Their homes were always full of chaos.
I quietly explained why and took things when they were really bad. Mine are quiet and respectful.
Children really do learn what they live. Well .... until they become teens. LOL
starchild
Senior Registered
sofiajt, I have been following your daughters story quietly for a while. I find it so fascinating and scary and wonderful and am so glad that you were able to get thru and help her remember. I don't often post but I do lurk at times.
thank you so much for sharing your story.
thank you so much for sharing your story.