My 3 year old reinacts drowning

[Lune]

I don't know anything about past lifes as I was brought up to believe they are bs.

Yet now I am at a loss to decribe what is going on with my 3 year old and I am doing all the research I can.

She has a very detailed understanding of what it looks like to drown, she can describe what it feels like to not be able to breath, and vividly reinacts this for me to see.
Last night she was playing and kept telling me of her other mommy and daddy, when I pointed out that she had no other, she said that she did before she came to us and that they died.
Intruiged I ask her how and she went on to matter of factly decribe how a mean man (she calls him the wolf) knocked on their door, he was mean to her mommy and so her mommy pushed him. He then proceded to stab her and push her into the water where she drowned. She says she was very scared.

At first I thought it was just her imagination as she is a very smart girl, so i just said oh okay and left it at that. Then around 1 when she woke up to go to the loo, I couldnt help but ask her again about the mommy and daddy. She got irritated with me and said I told you, they died, and procedeed to tell the exact same story as before, no changed details!

This led me to believe it might be more than just fantasy, but due to my strickt religious background I have no reference and cannot honestly say if this is a case of past life memory.
I am also scared of asking to many questions, in fear that I might ask them wrong and lead her to tell me what she thinks I want to hear.

So basically here I am, please teach me. Can this be a real memory? And if so how do i pose my inquiries so as to not lead her into anything?

 

[KenJ]

Lune, I awaited a response from someone else better able to address your plight without seeing that happen. I do not want you to feel that you are being ignored! Yes it is probably a real memory.

My first impression was that you were being introduced to the reality of an afterlife by "being thrown into the deep-end of the pool" sort of thing.
As for help I can only offer what I have read, keep a journal, don't press too hard, keep an open mind, and realize that it is indeed "normal" although not "common" in most of our lives to have such a personal experience with our own children.

As for leading her - if you do, do it gently and with "open" type questioning rather than too pointed unless of course it becomes clear that you could perhaps get details when she wants to talk about it. Things like names, dates, family, and location are helpful in looking into verification if you are able to do it without pressing too hard.

I imagine you are having a bad time of it with the conflict it creates with your prior understandings, it seems that we are all given clues, some with full memories of prior lives into adulthood, others like yours with members of their families (usually with children), and others with only glimpses that seemingly just tease us.

There are good threads here as well as the books that Carol has authored.

 

[baro-san]

I believe that in such situations the parent should act always with the child's best interest in mind. I don't see how it would be beneficial to the kid to remember such traumatic events, or, if they are fantasies, to entertain them.

My suggestion is to not contradict your little daughter, but also to gentle move her attention away from those memories, and let her forget. I wouldn't bring back this into discussion ever, even when she'll be an adult.

 

[ChrisR]

Hi Lune, welcome to the forum. There’s no need to feel alarmed about your daughter’s recollections as it’s not unusual for children to remember past life events, and it happens more often than you would think, but like yourself, it’s so often dismissed as a vivid imagination. So there is nothing wrong, but you are already doing the right thing by allowing her to talk about it while you listen. It’s not necessary to ask any questions, but if you do, make them simple, like does she remember what her name was, what was her other family like, no leading questions, but this will give her ‘permission’ to talk and release those memories. Maybe she could even draw pictures, some children are better at expressing their memories that way. It’s also important to reassure her that she’s safe now, and loved very much, and that you won’t let any harm come to her. As she gets older the memories will fade as she replaces the old memories with new ones. A good place to find out more information is Carol’s first book ‘Children’s Past Lives’, you can read the first chapter here: http://www.reincarnationforum.com/threads/chapter-one-of-childrens-past-lives.723/ And elsewhere throughout the forum, there are many other parents with similar cases like yours, have a read, and please keep us updated

 

[Cassie]

It's very difficult to ascertain the truth when it comes to childhood memories versus imagination.
Even what they believe now may not be the same as when they're much older and understand a little more about the world, so her memories might become clearer, might make more sense to her, or just vanish.

The best way to allow her to express herself would be to have her draw and write things for you, if she's happy to.
That's how I started early on. Try to refrain from asking too many questions, but instead prompt her to open up on her own.
"Why don't you draw your old mummy and daddy? I'd love to see what they looked like."
"Can you remember what you looked like when you had the other mummy and daddy?"
"See if you can draw what you used to wear, what was your favourite outfit or your favourite toy?."
"What was the place like where you grew up?"
"Can you remember what other mummy and daddy used to call you?"

No matter what you ask, just avoid absolutely everything that could be suggestive, shapes, colours. textures, places, people.
And make notes to compare with later!
Keep your own diary.
Use every question openly with no detail on your part. It's going to be tough as hell while she's this young, to grasp what she's getting at. But It's worth sticking with, and I praise you for not discouraging it, a Religion that doesn't allow for personal spiritual growth is another matter entirely, and is completely incomprehensible to me.
My family is Christian, and to this day they still don't know me at all.

Drawing and writing are good for the soul, they can also help to unlock things they may not be aware of yet. Be careful when approaching the death subject yourself, but if she wants to talk about it, illustration will definitely help you both understand.

 

[deborah]

baro-san....the goal is for the child to heal emotionally. You need to read Carol's books. If everyone did what you suggest there would be no need for this forum (for 20 years) or Carol's books to be translated into 17 different languages. Not to mention the cases and work done by Dr Tucker, Dr Stevenson, etc. Healing from trauma is the most important thing. Journaling is important so if she begins to remember as an adult Mom will have a record of what was said. A gift for her future.

I believe that in such situations the parent should act always with the child's best interest in mind. I don't see how it would be beneficial to the kid to remember such traumatic events, or, if they are fantasies, to entertain them.

 

[Mere Dreamer]

I don't see how it would be beneficial to the kid to remember such traumatic events, or, if they are fantasies, to entertain them.

Stuffing the memories down, telling them they are lying, and ignoring them are far less healthy "methods" for dealing with such things, baro-san. Many children won't stop having night terrors, other PTSD symptoms, or repeating their stories until they're properly listened to, understood, empathized with, and comforted with the realization that this is a new life now and they are safe.

It is each parent's loving responsibility to help their child process past life experiences with too much emotional weight for their ages and ability to comprehend--before those memories go underground and possibly end up secretly weighing down the child's psyche enough to affect their health and relationships into the future.

This forum exists because children need to be respected and heard while they process their emotions so they can heal ... just like anyone. Those of us who are old enough get to benefit from those same helpful elements by sharing our experiences and insights with each other here.

 

[baro-san]

Thank you for your comments. From what I read, and from my own experiences with past life regression, I formed the opinion that you have to be mature enough to benefit from recalling a past life. This is why I expressed the opinion above. I accept that I might be wrong.

 

[KenJ]

baro-san, I agree with what you said on a basic level in that we need to do what is best for the child. From what was reported in the initial post there seemed to be a "matter of fact" attitude rather than anxiety so my feeling was that the child was handling it well and that Lune was handling it quite well. I personally wish that my parents had joined in exploring my early glimpses of my past that I had so I may be biased in that direction.

Perhaps it boils down to whether it is a possible issue that needs to be openly resolved - something that will have a negative influence on the child's current life. It is widely thought that each one of us probably hold equally horrible experiences in a previous life.

 

[glia21]

To be allowed to talk about things is the best way to heal. It´s just what most psychotherapies are doing.. people talk about their traumas, frame them, put the experiences in words and so finally store them in their memory. By talking about things you usually lose your fear and learn to deal with it. Supressing them is no solution to me.

I wasn´t allowed to talk about these things as a young child, at least nobody believed me, so it kept working and working inside and I was in a big trouble during puberty ... not quite understanding what was going on... I´m writing in this forum to learn to deal with it. It could have been easier for me I guess.

Lune, I think you´re doing a good job. Just listen to her and let her speak. It doesn´t sound as if more inquiries are needed.

 

[Amy1]

adult

Has any of Carol’s books been translated in any Indian language? Hindi or any other?

 

[Polaris8]

I don't know anything about past lifes as I was brought up to believe they are bs.

Yet now I am at a loss to decribe what is going on with my 3 year old and I am doing all the research I can.

She has a very detailed understanding of what it looks like to drown, she can describe what it feels like to not be able to breath, and vividly reinacts this for me to see.
Last night she was playing and kept telling me of her other mommy and daddy, when I pointed out that she had no other, she said that she did before she came to us and that they died.
Intruiged I ask her how and she went on to matter of factly decribe how a mean man (she calls him the wolf) knocked on their door, he was mean to her mommy and so her mommy pushed him. He then proceded to stab her and push her into the water where she drowned. She says she was very scared.

At first I thought it was just her imagination as she is a very smart girl, so i just said oh okay and left it at that. Then around 1 when she woke up to go to the loo, I couldnt help but ask her again about the mommy and daddy. She got irritated with me and said I told you, they died, and procedeed to tell the exact same story as before, no changed details!

This led me to believe it might be more than just fantasy, but due to my strickt religious background I have no reference and cannot honestly say if this is a case of past life memory.
I am also scared of asking to many questions, in fear that I might ask them wrong and lead her to tell me what she thinks I want to hear.

So basically here I am, please teach me. Can this be a real memory? And if so how do i pose my inquiries so as to not lead her into anything?

Lune,

At least you came to the right place to discuss the subject. There are many books and resources on the subject of reincarnation. I would for now be open minded to your child's memory of the their past life. Because as soul we are all eternal by nature and come from divine love. I personally would have not known about Past lives if I did not have my NDE those many years ago. Since then my view on life and the reason why we are all here has changed greatly. It's as if all the pieces of the puzzle for me at least all came together and life finally made senses. Each persons journey getting there is different and perhaps thru your child your journey has begun thru the bonds of love with your little one. Although most western teachings don't know about this knowledge the soul while it is incarnated has not only a physical body but other subtle bodies within it that one can't see that operate and are connected to the other higher dimensions of our universe. A physical, astral, mental and soul body.

As I understand it our past life memories are stored in the permanent atom of the soul body or what some may term the causal body. The causal /Soul Body is named "Causal" because it is the originating source of each new personality that reincarnates in each lifetime. It is the source of your manifested present personality, causing it to be and exist. This is the eternal part of you as soul.

When your present personality ends, the eternal essence of you is absorbed and goes inward into the next inner body which would be the astral. Soul will then spend time on various levels of this dimension of reality until the same process occurs once again and soul drops the astral body and goes further inward into the mental body. Then after some time has been spent on the mental dimension soul will drop the mental body and finally return to full consciousness within the Soul/Casual Body which is the eternal part of you. The Soul Body is immortal as it exists beyond time space and matter during your soul journey through the many incarnations or lifetimes within the lower worlds of duality which are the physical, astral and mental dimensions.

So each time we reincarnate we receive a new mental, astral and physical body which have no memory of these prior lifetimes. However the karmic actions from the past are carried over to later be expressed in the new lifetime. This is because the permanent memories and karmic actions of these other lifetimes are stored within the soul body itself. But since the new incarnated ego has no memory of this it will in essences get a clean slate each time. This process is how the soul/consciousness itself evolves. At least In my opinion.

This is one of the reason why children have an easier time remembering their past lives is because their inner bodies are still developing along with their physical one. Having not yet lived in this world all that long allows them easier access to the connections within the soul body’s permanent atom and its memories of other lifetimes lived.

As the child grows older this becomes less and less possible as the present personality is now taking hold and is more grounded into the physical world. In time these memories fade all together. In a way this is has it should be.

As nature is kind by not allowing us to normally have memories of these other lifetimes so as to prevent any harm it may cause both mentality and emotionally to the present personality now being lived.

I find the process of reincarnation itself a wonder way for souls journey in learning about the inner self. I feel we are all here in this physical plane because the soul must know itself by it's own experiences.

Peace and love.

P.