Old to memories, new here, and not quite sure what I'm looking for

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Moon, Jun 15, 2015.

  1. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    ...some kind of reflection, I suppose?

    I'm not new to memories, I've had them coming to me pretty much my whole life, untill in my late teens it became too much to me and I started consciously repressing them. Untill then I had been keeping a diary about them but then I felt I had to get rid of everything that even hinted at my past life. I guess it was just too painful to me, though I don't like to admit it, since I have a habit of repeating to myself that I'm OK, at all times.

    I told myself that I had to repress my memories in order to never accidentally act like I had a past life in front of anyone, which sounds pretty stupid... But the truth is that the memories themselves became too much. And I projected wanting to forget, to others, as in, I told myself I had to believe I had no past life so that I would act convincingly disbelieving if the topic ever came up with anyone. (A pretty far-fecthed idea, I know...)

    But then, I recently came across this forum, and the research, by accident... and, I suppose reading other people's experiences made me want to try again, slowly. To remember, and really heal and be ok with everything. I know this post is really vague, and as such, not very interesting, but I can't do any better yet. And I guess writing this is the first necessary step for me to... remember again, and this time, not alone, so I'm allowing this non-sensical stuff to get out for once.

    I'm sure reading everyone's posts will give me more courage, so thank you everyone, so far. Reading your experiences has already made me let out tears I've been holding back a long time... I'm sure some of you can understand how that feels.

    I know I've unconsiously been wanting a place like this for many years and I wish I could post better than this, but... oh well, if someone managed to read it anyway, thank you. Let's be friendly. hug2.gif
     
  2. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Moon,


    And welcome. I'm not a great one for recovering my own memories, but I think you will find that everyone here will be ready to help and many can give you the benefit of their own first hand experience. I'm sorry for what seems like some sadness you are experiencing. I hope I am not prying, but I do wonder if it is a sadness caused by the need to hold back what was wanting to come out or because what was wanting to come out was itself sad, or perhaps a bit of both?


    Cordially,


    S&S
     
  3. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    Hi Moon


    Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you found us! Don't worry about your writing sounding 'nonsensical'. A lot of us here know exactly what you mean.


    I was much the same. I had a lot of random memories, almost since I could remember anything. I thought it was normal until I went to school and started to hang out with other kids. But I decided to 'repress' it in my teens, because I was sick of feeling like a 'freak' and nobody believed me anyway. I thought maybe it was 'just my imagination' after all.


    Later in life, when I had a bit more time after my kids got older, and especially when I met my friend X, it started happening again and I got more interested in it. This forum has been invaluable for learning more about techniques, but also coming to terms with it all and having a safe place to share stories and ideas.
     
  4. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    Welcome to the forum. No one here will ever think you are crazy. :)
     
  5. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    Thank you for the replies, everyone


    SeaAndSky, you're right, it's both, because the memories are not all that pleasant but also because of the need to repress them. And then, because it all related to people in my current life in a way that was not the easiest to deal with for me. It just became too much of a mess on it's own and I felt like I couldn't sort out the "now" when I was so confused about "then"... But maybe now I've grown enough to face it again.


    tanguerra, it's definitely almost like magic that someone would say "A lot of us here know exactly what you mean". It's just something I never had and knowing it's true just makes me feel so peaceful. Thank you for sharing the story of your friend X, I can actually relate to it a little. Part of the reason I was able to come here is definitely because I'm finally on good terms with someone I knew before.


    argonne1918, thank you, "No one here will ever think you are crazy." ... yeah, that pretty much sums up all I needed right now. You know, I never really even realize how much other people's definition of "crazy" affects me... I've never thought of myself as crazy, that's not it, it's just that it makes you incredibly lonely when you've never met anyone with similar experiences, even if you've never doubted your sanity.
     
  6. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Moon,


    Many people seem to find themselves associated over and over with the same soul group. The reasons suggested for this are many, but one that often comes up is the need to resolve the issues left over from PLs with these same individuals. Of course, the comfort and companionship of these others over many lifetimes also plays a part, but whether for reconciliation or comfort/companionship we seem to be given many chances to revisit our prior relationships.


    Many on this board are also coping with memories that are unpleasant, and attitudes seem to range from nonchalant acceptance (or at least a well honed ability to let bygones be bygones) to a variety of post traumatic stress syndrome. You can feel free here to share as much or as little as you would like.


    Cordially,


    S&S


    PS--In my particular "subset" I would probably not be considered to be crazy, but seriously led astray and/or falling into heresy. Consequently, I also exist in something of a stealth mode. This is a good place to speak freely for those who have limited options outside of cyberspace.
     
  7. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    Thanks again, SeaAndSky


    Definitely had some unresolved issues with those people, and still do but I haven't thought about it in a long time because the whole situation became too much to me and I kind of just turned my back on it, because I was the only one who thought there was anything wrong. However, I've learned the mind set that my happiness cannot be, in anyway, dependent on whether or not I will solve those issues with them one day, and while they were so big part of my life, I'm still defined first through my own wishes and not in relation to them. So, while I admit I've been running away from painful memories, I also think this time has been necessary for me to become stronger. So, now I'm not trying to face my past again because I want to solve those issues with them (If it happens, that's great of course). I'm firstly doing it for myself.
     
  8. themainecooncat

    themainecooncat New Member

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    food for thought


    Moon, I don't know how old you are but I do understand what you are going through. I'm in my late 60's and I'm finally getting around to seek out others with remembered past lives. I actually started to realized I was different at a very early age. I knew things that I had no real knowledge or had experienced yet. When situations arose I knew what to do or understood what was happening. Those episodes were few and far between but well noted. In the 1980's and to the present time quite a few past lives have come to me. I have found that each past life had a basic thing I needed to learn which I believe is all part of my personality. Some positive things and others were negative, but all are needed. How can you know whats good unless you have experienced bad things. They are all lessons to be learned and everyday is a learning experience.


    Some of my early past lives experiences were basic things like: hope, caution, love, regret, fear, anger, hate and so forth. And maybe you may learn to accept yourself and love yourself for who you are totally, including all the other lives you had experienced. Give yourself time and relax the journey can be enjoyed. I wish you the best and be patient with yourself. Theres more to learn each day.
     
  9. ZeonChar

    ZeonChar Senior Member

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    Welcome and I look forward to hearing more about you!
     
  10. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    Thank you for replies and sympathies and sorry for being silent for... uh, a month it seems.


    It appears that getting back to my past life memories or anything that will trigger them is still something that will consume all my energy and focus if I start. Right now it's pretty much all in or all out thing which is why I couldn't even reply to your kind comments; I had to be able to focus on the here and now for some time. Now that I have holidays I might be able to give myself time to think about these things again.


    themainecooncat, I'm glad you've found your way here too! I'm still fairly young, actually, but I can relate to some of what you said anyway. Since I was a child I've also had knowledge I shouldn't have had. I wasn't so conscious of it when I was very small, I just instinctively did weird things I never really questioned until I was 13, because that's when I started to recall specific memories about one past life. I happened to hear the name of my old home town at school, which triggered a panic attack, and among it some conflicted memories. After that the memories just kept coming (not as shockingly though) and I couldn't help but see what all those weird things I did as a kid where about.


    It's wonderful to hear you've remembered so much and learned so many things because of it!


    And thank you, ZeonChar! I'm also looking forward to learn more about all the interesting people here. It's probably going to be a long journey to open up about myself... Everything still feels so personal and somehow, fresh, when I think about it (that's probably just a general issue for me in everything, heh) but I hope I'll have courage to share more in the future.
     
  11. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    It seems to be a fairly common experience to have a 'flood' of memories, followed by a long 'drought'. When you are in the middle of it, you can think to yourself 'Uh oh! What have I done! This is taking over my life!' But, after a while, it always settles down and memories can even stubbornly refuse to come.


    The best thing to do is write everything down in a journal during the 'flood'. You might think you will remember all of it, but it's still a good idea to get it down on paper so you can be sure later that you got the details right. During the 'drought' you can go back over your notes and think about how it all fits together, the themes that relate to your present life, the lessons learnt and so on.
     
  12. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    Thanks, tanguerra, I can imagine that happening easily to many, especially if you're like me and tend to get immersed into one thing at a time and neglect others... So it's not just a flood of memories, it's also the inability to think about anything else because everything I don't remember seems to demand so much attention... :p


    I did write things down when I was a teen but then I got scared of someone finding and reading them at some point, so I destroyed them all... heh.


    What I remember clearly is everything that I was able to put into logical order and sort of.... accepted as my "timeline" or something, but it's definitely true that I rapidly forget details, which of course, I wanted to, at one point... but I'm pretty sure something will start coming back to me again if I just let it, so, who knows maybe I'll be able to write something here. :)
     
  13. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    Buy yourself a nice little notebook and write it down the 'old fashioned way'. By all means, share it here as well. What you feel comfortable sharing, of course.
     

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